To the Muggle World and Beyond

A Dinner Brawl

"Hermione, could you please pass the chicken?" asked Narcissa Malfoy, who, as she touched the platter, looked at it hesitantly before putting some on her plate. "Um, Hermione?"

"Yes, Mrs.- I mean, Narcissa?"

"Who...cooked this chicken?" Narcissa asked, reflexively touching the part of her stomach that was surgically fixed after Hermione nearly killed her with "Hermione's Special Cereal Surprise."

Hermione turned cherry red as snorts floated around the room in remembrance. "Ginny did."

Narcissa sighed with relief, did the sign of the cross and scooped some the chicken onto her plate.

"Ginevra, could you please pass your chunky-looking mashed potato crap?" asked Draco in the mock-sweetest tone he could muster. Narcissa elbowed him subtly in his stomach. Lucius not so subtly smacked him in the back of his head.

"Why, yes I could, Draco," said Ginny with a sinister look on her face. She gently picked up the bowl of mashed potatoes and contentedly plopped the bowl in front of Draco, making the mashed potatoes splatter down his pants. He immediately stood up and glared at Ginny, one shaking finger pointed furiously at Ginny.

"You..." he hissed.

"Me..." Ginny repeated with equal malice. Greg and Vinny looked between them, not sure whose side to take.

"You stupid witch, how dare you," Draco said, using the same bullying voice used at Hogwarts.

"How dare I?!" Ginny yelled, standing up, at least a head shorter than Draco. She was small, but that didn't mean she didn't intimidate people. She had the same Weasley fire as the rest of her family.

Everyone at the table scooted backwards from the two. "How dare you come into my house and then insult my cooking!"

"Oh please, your cooking insults itself!"

"You...stupid...evil git!"

"And again Weaslette manages to find something even more stupid to say because of her second rate education."

"I got the same education as you!"

"Yeah well we all know it was because they pitied you and your Muggle-loving family!"

Ginny made an inarticulate girlish squeal then lunged over the table at Draco. She fully knocked him down to the ground and landed on top of him. She was sitting on his stomach and her legs were on either side of his waist. She began swinging wildly at his face but he caught her wrists in time and just stared at her as she yelled random obscenities at him.

She really was beautiful, even for a Weasley. Especially when she was so worked up like this. Her copper hair had fallen out of her messy ponytail and was hanging in her face. She was flushed deep red, but her freckles still stood out. But her eyes-her eyes stood out most of all, the wide golden orbs stared right through him like laser vision. (A/N: One of the worst metaphors I've ever written.) She had been wearing a button up blouse and with her leaning forward; a very lucky Draco had a very good view.

"Okay, okay, break it up," Lucius said, finally breaking them up by lifted a kicking and struggling Ginny. He held her up by the back of her shirt and she gave up, hanging in the air by her shirt.

"Lemme go, lemme go, lemme go," she rasped, gasping for air. Lucius dropped her and she fell to the ground.

"Now I know you two just want to shag each other stupid," started Lucius fatherly, Ginny and Draco gaped at him unbelievingly, then at each other. A tirade of yelling from each Ginny and Draco began immediately, both too loud to comprehend. Lucius silenced them both by raising his left hand. "But you'll just have to keep your passions to yourself for the time being while Ginny's showing you the ropes, son."

"Wait," Ginny interrupted. "Why do I have to show him the ropes? Why can't Hermione?"

"Because, Ginevra, you have a more flexible work schedule. It's not like your clients will call you everyday," explained Lucius.

"And," Narcissa cut in, "you'll have to teach Draco how to cook too, and Hermione...you know."

"But-but-but that's so unfair!" Ginny whined.

"We know," said Narcissa. "Well, I believe the dinner is over, we shall go now." A round of hugs began, and as Narcissa hugged Ginny, she whispered, "Look out for Draco. Please." And Ginny solemnly nodded.

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"Stupid Weasley," Draco muttered as he, Greg and Vinny entered their new apartment.

Their apartment was...smaller than Malfoy Manor, but it wasn't totally hopeless. It was pretty big for an apartment, actually. The wall paper was cream colored, lined with dark green, so were the bedrooms, which there were two of, one for Greg and Vinny and one for Draco, who was too insecure to share a room with Greg or Vinny. They even had a terrace with an amazing view of the pool.

Draco curiously peered around the apartment, looking for any suspicious Muggle devices. He saw one large square shaped object, which had a door in the front; Draco opened it and saw a single rack. On top were four strange circles. Draco saw four knobs above the said door and started playing with them. He began turning the knob entitled, "Left Front," which then caused the circle on the left front to spurt fire. Draco gasped and reached his hand out to the fire to check if it was real.

It was.

"Shit!" he yelled. Ginny came running into the apartment.

"What wrong?" she asked. Draco held his hand out to her. She rolled her eyes and pulled him by his wrist to a sink. She instinctively ran Draco's hand in cold water. Draco hummed tunelessly in pain "What did you do?"

"That bloody...thing burned me!" Draco accused, pointing to the oven.

"Did you not see the fire coming out of it?"

"Yeah, well it's not like I knew it was real, it is a Muggle contraption, after all!"

"Of course it's real!" Ginny shouted impatiently.

"Well I didn't know!" Draco shouted back.

"What are you, stupid?"

"STOP IT!" Greg screamed. "CAN'T YOU SEE YOUR CONSTANT BICKERING IS TEARING US APART?" Draco, Ginny and Vinny were completely silent as they stared at Greg. Out of Crabbe and Goyle, Goyle had always been the "quiet, calm" one.

After Ginny fully remedied Draco's hand she sat the three of her new neighbors on the couch. "Okay, it's late, go to bed, in the morning I will start helping you with this Muggle stuff. Don't. Touch. Anything."

"Um, me and Greg, have work tomorrow, can we be excused?" asked Vinny.

"How coincidental, me and Malfoy alone," Ginny muttered under her breath. "Uh...I guess. What, you don't' have a job, Malfoy?"

"Oh, shut it Weasley."

Author's Note: So what did you think? Review and I'll give you a hypothetical cookie!