Harry and Ron's Excellent Adventure

Harry and Ron's Excellent Adventure

Chapter Three

Ext. Hogsmeade: Harry and Ron have ceased their interaction with GreenLily and are back in the mindset of Bill and Ted. Suddenly the clouds in the sky part and a phone booth falls to the ground.

Harry and Ron: Whewoa!

Ron: Dude, what is that?

Harry: It's a Muggle phone booth, Dude!

Ron: No way!

Harry: Way!

Harry and Ron: EXCELLENT! *they mime playing guitars*

*Dobby steps out of the booth*

Dobby: *bowing* Greetings Harry Potter and his Weezy, sirs!

Harry: Do you know when the Pendragons ruled Britain, Dobby?

Dobby: Why doesn't Harry Potter ask them?

Harry: What?

Dobby: Dobby is here to help Harry Potter and his Weezy with their history report, sirs!

*Another phone booth falls out of the sky. Harry and Ron from sixteen hours from now step out of it. Upon closer inspection or the second viewing of this film, one notices that there are several other people in the booth with them.*

Future Harry and Ron: How's it going, Harry and Ron?

Harry and Ron: Whewoa!

Harry: Who are you guys?

Future Harry: Dude, we're you from the future!

Harry: No, Way!

Future Harry: Yes way, Harry!

Future Ron: Look, Harry and Ron, We totally understand how you feel. We didn't believe us either when we were you and we-us were saying what we-us are saying now.

*Harry and Ron exchange a mind-reading look*

Harry: If you're really us, what spell are we thinking of?

*Future Harry and Ron exchange glances, grin, and make jerky movements*

Future Harry and Ron: Expelliarmus, Dudes!

Harry and Ron: Whewoa! EXCELLENT!

*the four of them mime guitar playing*

Future Ron: Look, we've gotta go and pass our history report.

*they turn to leave and see Dobby*

Future Harry: Dobby! Hey, listen to this elf, Dobby. He knows what he's talking about!

*Harry and Ron exchange a confused look and mouth: "Dobby knows what he's talking about" and shrug. Dobby starts talking to Future Harry and Ron.*

Harry: Ron, strange things are afoot at Three Broomsticks.

Ron: Harry, you and I have witnessed many things

Harry: Like that troll attacking Hermione!

Ron: And McGonagall's chess set!

Harry: And Lockhart losing his memory!

Ron: And the Boggart Snape in Neville's grandmother's dress!

Harry: And Scabbers turning into that git Pettigrew! And Malfoy the Amazing Bouncing Ferret!

Ron: And Lupin turning into a werewolf, but nothing as bloody wicked as what just happened. Besides, we told ourselves to listen to Dobby?

Harry: What if we were lying? It is Dobby we told ourselves to listen to afterall.

*Harry clutches his arm he broke in the match against Slytherin his second year*

Ron: Why would we lie to ourselves? Besides, Dobby did get you that Gillyweed for the second task.

Harry: *grins and makes a jerky movement* Oh yeah!

Future Harry: *shouting* Harry, don't forget to wind your watch!

*Harry nods and looks at his watch, which is the same watch that stopped working in the lake during the second task. He neglects to wind it*

Future Harry and Ron: Catch yeh later, Harry and Ron!

*they step into the phone booth, which disappears into the ground*

Dobby: *gesturing to his phone booth* Ready, sirs?

Ron: If you're gonna call some one to get the answers, you better not shout.

Dobby: We is doing a lot more than that, sirs!

*Harry and Ron step into the booth with Dobby and it disappears into the ground*

Int. The Circuits of History: The Booth is speeding through one of the circuits. Harry and Ron are yelling: "Whoooooooaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!"

Harry: Where are we, Dobby?

Dobby: Tis the Circuits of History, sirs! These Circuits will take us to any point in time.

*there is an aperture to Godric Gryffindor's time ahead. The booth hurls toward it*

Ext. Hogwarts Around 995 AD: *Godric Gryffindor is teaching a class out on the grounds when the booth lands. He sees Harry, Ron, and Dobby step outside. A snake crawls up to them*

Harry: How's it going, little snake dude!

*of course, he's speaking in parseltongue*

Godric: He must be one of Salazar's people. Just look at those green eyes! Disarm them!

*Harry and Ron, unaware that anything is wrong, wave to Godric and his students and step back into the booth. Godric's students accidentally disarm him, sending him flying toward the booth, which is disappearing into the ground*

Ext. Number Four Privet Drive: *The booth drops out of the sky and lands in the front yard*

Harry: Where are we now, Dude? *sees the house* Oh, we're at the Dursleys'.

Dobby: Sirs, you is able to go anywhere in time to get information for your report. But remember, no matter what is happening, Harry Potter and his Weezy must get to the report!

Ron: Aren't you coming with us, Dobby?

Dobby: Harry Potter and his Weezy is on their own. *Dobby steps into the phone booth, which vanishes into the ground. Another booth falls from the sky and lands on the ground. Then Godric Gryffindor falls out of the tree lands on the ground.*

Harry: Hey Ron, I think I know how to pass our report.

Ron: How?

Harry: Well, we've already got one historical figure. Why don't we go collect a few more and they can say what they think about our time.

Ron: Great idea, Dude!

*Harry grabs Godric's arms, Ron grabs his feet, and they carry him to Dudley's room*

Int. Dudley's room: *Godric is lying unconscious on Dudley's bed while Harry and Ron explain things to a very confused Dudley*

Harry: Dudley, it is very important that you keep an eye on Godric. He's a very important wizard dude.

Dudley: Dad says that I shouldn't be involved in that wizard rubbish.

Harry: I'll pay you. *Dudley perks up* Here is some money. Take him to get some ice cream or something.

*Godric wakes up and looks confused. Harry, Ron, and Dudley stand over him*

Ron: How's it going, Godric Gryffindor? I am Ron Weasley and this is Harry Potter. We're both in your house.

Harry: Yeah, and I might be your great-great-great grandson or something, Dude! I pulled your sword out of the sorting hat in my second year. Oh yeah, this stupid Muggle git is my cousin Dudley. He's going to look after you for awhile. We'll take you back to your time after you talk at our report.

Int. the Dursleys' living room: *Harry and Ron are about to leave when Uncle Vernon enters.

Ron: Bogus!

Uncle Vernon: Hey you, I'd like a word with Harry, alone!

*Ron scrurries out the door*

What are your aunt and I going to do with you? You practically blow up this house every time you're hear, you spend all your time with your freak friends, and now you can't even stay in that freak school of yours! I've spoken with Colonel Forkward. You'll be on a plane to Iceland tomorrow night. Go pack your bags!

Harry: But Uncle Vernon, all my stuff is at Hogwarts.

Uncle Vernon: *turning purple* How many times to I have to tell you not to say the name of your freak school in this house, boy?

Harry: But Uncle Vernon--

Uncle Vernon: Pack your bags, boy. And don't think that-godfather-of yours is going to get you out of this one--*the phone rings*

Ron: *his voice is coming through the phone badly disguised, but Uncle Vernon is too stupid to notice* Vernon Dursley, there's a new client here who wants to invest fifty million pounds in Grunnings. The only catch is, he wants to meet with you right now.

Uncle Vernon: I demand to know who this is.

Ron: This is Sir Mick Jagger. *Harry's brow furrows as he looks out the window and spots Ron. They both grin and mime playing guitars* I'm new, Dude! I mean sir.

*Uncle Vernon hangs up the phone*

Uncle Vernon: I'll be back in a few hours, boy! You'd better be packed! *Uncle Vernon exits*

Ext. The Front Yard: Harry runs out to the phone booth.

Harry: Bad news, Dude! My Uncle already signed me up! My plane leave tomorrow night!

Ron: Only if we fail.

*They both look at the phone booth*

Harry and Ron: No way!

*They enter the phone booth, dial a number, and disappear into the ground*