Macho Man

"Potter."

"Malfoy."

"Zabini."

"Longbottom."

"Weasley."

"Thomas."

The five boys looked around at each other, sizing all the others up. The five had a chance meeting in the hallway, the three Gryffindors in a group and two Slytherins walking together. After seven years of mean glares, thrown insults and attempted punches, the five had arrived at almost cordial relationships.

All five boys had improved over the years of Hogwarts. Especially Neville who had gone from the pudgy, weak and trembling little boy to a confident seventeen year old who no longer had the excess body fat and hair that did more than lie uselessly; although, as he had confessed at the beginning of the year to Harry, he had exercised to exercise tapes all summer long to achieve his present body. Ron's hair had dulled from a bright shock of orange to a rusty red and his body had toned itself to a much desired appearance, despite his horrendous eating habits. Blaise now had rich, beautiful dark brown hair that was really his best feature, which he knew very well, and he flaunted his hair very much, flipping it about and emphasizing it as best he could. Harry's eyes and gone from bright green to an enchanting even brighter green, and his hair had blackened until it was, if possible, as dark as a moonless night. Dean, though mightily attractive, was more thought of as the one with the perfect personality; nice, sweet, cool, thoughtful, a listener, who still managed to be funny. And Draco, the evil sexy one with his blonde hair and stormy gray eyes that seemed to reach into your soul and expose your secrets to everyone. The one with the perfect body, though he did nothing to keep it that way, he was the star of Hogwarts.

"Well, Gryffindors," Draco said in an almost decent tone, "last year here, eh? Almost away from the old school that we call home." He paused for a moment, "What's say we do something crazy."

"Erm, something crazy?" Neville asked skeptically. "Like what?"

"I don't know, not yet. But we should do something...leave the school with a big bang. No one will forget the legendary ones."

"We'll think on it," Ron said almost sarcastically and the five parted ways. "I think he's gone loony." Ron whispered in Harry's ear.

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The following day Draco and Blaise were wandering the hallways once again (they did this often, being seventh years. They liked to think that they were the lords or something), when they saw the same three Gryffindors as the day before. And they all nodded a hello, when suddenly a gaggle of girls (A/N: like a gaggle of geese :p just joking!) came gushing out of one of the Great Hall, giggling madly. When they saw the six boys they all giggled even more madly than before and flipped their hair about, flirting furiously with the boys.

Harry winked at a blonde who blushed madly and pretended to look inside her bag for something. Draco pretended to yawn, showing off his fabulous stomach and more than one girl turned to stare non-abashedly. Blaise sidled up to a dark brunette and he flipped his hair, and the girl flipped her hair as an answer. Ron and Neville found themselves back to back, surrounded by a small group of girls and girls were laughing at Dean's jokes that he had pulled out as soon as they had come.

One girl stepped boldly up to Draco and stroked his stomach, his arm, his face. Draco, in turn, turned (A/N: hehe-in turn, turned:P) and stepped into a side door, leaving everyone in the hall mystified. Seconds later, Draco stepped out of the room (that, as everyone discovered later, was a closet) dressed as a biker with leather everything (A/N: yes!!!:P). All the girls squealed with delight at the sight of a Draco fully clothed in leather (if he was clothed, at least it was leather, right?)

*Draco stepped forward until he was in the heart of the girls and he started singing*

Body, wanna feel my body, body, baby, such a thrill, my body

Body, wanna touch my body, body, baby, it's too much, my body

Body, check it out, my body, body, baby, don't you doubt, my body

Body, talking about my body, body, baby, checking out my body

Draco ran his hands up and down his body, much to the envy of all the girls present. "Come on, guys!" Draco called, beckoning to the other guys who looked at each other, but they in turn stepped in and out of the closet all dressed in different outfits.

Neville had come out as a construction worker, in an extremely tight tank top undershirt and construction pants, and the necessary hard hat. Dean had stepped out in an authentic cowboy costume, complete with the hat, though he didn't keep it on his head very often, he preferred spinning it about in the air. Ron had came out of the closet dressed as a soldier ready to go for battle, though he had a huge grin on his face and he was dancing about, instead of standing as straight as a pole (A/N: I sort of took that line from a friend who writes HP fanfic...*Ron*I'm as bloody straight as a pole *Harry*Well, at least we know something was...look for her stories on Schnoogle sometime soon, she wants to submit them.) Harry walked out as a muggle policeman, being one of the only ones who knew what one was and Blaise came sauntering out as Indian, dressed in hardly anything, as is the custom of many Indians (A/N: *wink wink* learned that in PNW, right*wink wink*) with only a loincloth hanging from his waist and war paint upon his face.

*Draco*

Listen here

*Harry sings since he was the most enthusiastic (after Draco, of course)*

Every man wants to be a macho man

To have the kind of body always in demand

Joggin' in the mornings, go man go

Work up to the hill's top, muscles grow

You can best believe me

He's a macho man

Glad he took you down with anyone you can

*All dancing around energetically to the delight of the girls*

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey

*letting girls run their hands up their magnificent bodies*

Macho, macho man

I gotta be a macho man

Macho macho man

I gotta be a macho

Macho, macho man

I gotta be a macho man

Macho macho man

I gotta be a macho

*Neville steps up to sing, with as sexy and as confident of a smile as he can manage*

Body, my body, body, wanna feel my body

Body, baby, body, body, come and thrill my body

Body, baby, body, body, love to funk, my body

Body, baby, body, body, it's so hot, my body

So hot, yeah my body

*at this point, the boys take their bodies back and dance furiously around once again*

Alright

*All together sing *

Everyman ought to be a macho, macho man

To live a life of freedom, machos make a stand

*Draco pulls off his leather jacket, exposing the fact that he had nothing underneath it and his smooth pale skin*

*Blaise sings, and if he had clothes to take off, I'm sure he would have pulled it off now*

Have your own lifestyles and ideals

Access the strip of competence, that's the skill

You can best believe that he's a macho man

He's the special god son in anybody's land

hey, hey, hey, hey, hey

*Each boy takes his turn singing and doing a "dance routine", as we shall call it, which suspiciously involved

taking off articles of clothing and letting the girls yell and squeal appropriately and enthusiastically*

Macho, macho man

I gotta be a macho man

Macho macho man

I gotta be a macho

Macho, macho man

I gotta be a macho man

Macho macho man

I gotta be a macho

Macho, macho man

I gotta be a macho man

Macho macho man

I gotta be a macho

I gotta be a macho man

I gotta be a mucho mucho, macho macho man

I gotta be a....

*The music and dancing and singing stop abruptly at the shriek-and not a cheerful happy one in the way like oh-my-gosh-there-are-a-bunch-of-hot-and-sexy-guys-dancing-lets-go-watch way-It was the kind of shriek that you would expect to hear coming from a professor that had just stepped into the hallway to find a group of scantily dressed seventh year males surrounded by a bunch of screaming girls way*

"Potter! Malfoy! Zabini! Weasley! Longbottom! Thomas! " The professor in question (Professor McGonagall) shrieked in an outraged and disbelieving voice and strode up the hallway to the group of Hogwarts students.

All boys checked quickly to make sure that everything vital was covered and turned to McGonagall, all their faces a bright red.

"Run along," McGonagall told the group of girls who glanced back sulkily at the still half-naked (or three-quarters naked, in some cases) guys. "What were you thinking!?" McGonagall cried throwing her hands up in the air furiously. "How could you.....In the middle of the....dressed as...Aw, RUN ALONG!" She screeched exasperatedly and retreated hastily down the hallway.

"Look at that, no one will forget that," Draco said happily, "A shame that there weren't as many as girls here, though; I should have gotten a different time."

The boys shoved on their clothing, and looked around at each other in their usual manner, only after a few seconds, they dissolved into laughter. After those outfits and such furious dancing and singing, and all those girls cheering for them, who couldn't?