Harry Potter and the Pretty Sorcerer's Balls

As the days and weeks passed, Draco showed no sign of relenting on his stance towards Hermione, in fact, he became more and more persistent about keeping away from her.

"Goodness, Ron, you don't think he got into trouble, do you?"
"What do you mean?"
"Ever since Draco came back from Christmas - he's been meaner and meaner to Hermione, and it got even worse after the Easter break." Harry sighed.

"I know -"

"Shush," Harry whispered, "here he comes." Ron and Harry turned to wave as Draco entered the library.

"She's not coming, is she?" Draco sneered. The boys shook their heads. "Good. You two should be more careful about who you're seen with."

"If we cared about that," Ron snorted, "we wouldn't be sitting here with you, would we?"

"I'm serious." Draco frowned.

Ron turned to Harry and mouthed 'so was I.'

Harry giggled then gasped, "There's Hagrid!" The group watched the large man emerge from a stack of books near the back of the library.

"I've never seen him in the library before." Draco mused. The others agreed and watched him look around furtively before leaving the room. Before they could say anything else, Ron had leapt to his feet and hurried to the area where Hagrid had been spotted. He came back a minute later with a pile of books in his arms which he slammed down on the table.

"Dragons!" he whispered, "Hagrid was looking up stuff on dragons!" The boys paged through Dragon Species of Great Britain and Ireland and From Egg to Inferno, A Dragon Keeper's Guide.

"Dragon Keeper?" Harry squealed, only to be shushed by Ron and Draco. "Hagrid can't possibly have a dragon here could he?"

"He has a three headed dog." Draco said dryly, "he could probably get his hands on a dragon too."

"But they're illegal!" Ron exclaimed.

"Goodness, Ron, I can't imagine Fluffy is permitted either."

The boys returned their books and were soon bounding out of the castle, across the lawn and up the steps at Hagrid's hut. They knocked until their knuckles were sore.

"Oh poop." Harry sat down on the step in a huff. "He's not home."

Ron joined him on the stoop, "He's probably in the forest somewhere with the dragon." The three boys lifted their eyes to the heights of the trees in the Forbidden Forest, hoping to catch a glimpse of a dark wing or tail - nothing.

"What are yeh three doin' down there?"

Ron, Harry, and Draco jumped nearly a foot in the air before being hustled into Hagrid's hut.

"What brings yeh by?" Hagrid asked, setting the kettle to boil.

The boys shared a nervous glance before Ron nudged Harry to speak.

"We wanted to see the dragon!" Harry squealed before clapping both hands to his mouth in horror. "I mean - I meant -"

"There's no dragon here, little dainty," Hagrid winked.

"But we saw you in the library ..." Draco trailed off.

"Jus' lookin' somethin' up, I was." Hagrid let the boys turn various shades of red before relenting. "Oh all righ'. I met a man down the pub las' nigh' - I had some cards an' he offered ter play me for a dragon egg. I was jus' looking up what kind he was carryin' is all."

"What kind is it?" Draco asked in awe.

"Norwegian Ridgeback," Hagrid opened one of his library books and pointed to a picture of a black winged beast. His eyes had glazed over and he had a contented dreamy grin on his face. "Ah, little Norbert ..."

"Where is he, Hagrid?" Harry clapped his hands together in anticipation as Hagrid gazed at the book on the table.

Hagrid snapped back to reality, "Nah, I though'it best ta turn 'im down. Can't have a dragon running around me hut with you lot over all the time. Those curly locks of yers would be singed right off, wouldn't they?"

The boys were disappointed but extremely relieved.

"Too bad though," Ron said, "I bet if Fluffy and a dragon were guarding the Sorcerer's Stone - no one would try to have at it."

Hagrid's face turned beet red, "How do you know about the Sorcerer's Stone?!" he exclaimed.

The boys shared a grin, "Oh we figured that out ages ago," Harry batted his eyelashes at the giant man.

"But don't worry we're not going to tell anybody." Draco assured him.

"I guess you already know that's what we took out of Gringott's, little dainty."

Harry gasped, "Oh my goodness - I just realised - I had the elixir of life in my pants!"

Between Hagrid, Ron, and Draco, there was suddenly quite a lot of tea to mop up from the table.

"Um ... " Ron wiped his nose on a napkin - having had hot tea pass through it just moments ago. "Tell us about the man with the dragon egg Hagrid."

"A mysterious chap 'e was, wore a great cloak an' wouldn' take down the hood - couldn' even see his face. He was a bit put out when I turned down the game - offered it to me outrigh' then - must've really been tryin' to get rid of it."

"Dragon eggs cost a fortune," Draco frowned, "Why would anyone just give one away?"

"Must've been on the run, I figure." Hagrid mused behind his huge moustache. "But he was protective of it nonetheless - wanted to make sure I could take care of it."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, he wanted to make sure I had some experience with dangerous creatures. But after handling Fluffy, a dragon would be a piece of cake."

"You mentioned Fluffy to him?"

"Just in passing, but then I told him I couldn't take the egg and that was that."
"But you said he was upset when you turned him down." Ron pressed.

"Yep, rushed out of the pub a few minutes later." Hagrid's eyes glazed over once again, "Norbert," he sighed.

"The man's name was Norbert?"

"The dragon, I named him Norbert."

The boys shrugged their bewildered shoulders at each other and soon left Hagrid to his reverie.

"Wait until we tell Hermione!" Harry yelped once they had left the hut.

"This is important business, Harry, you can't trust it with her."

Harry and Ron both glared.

Harry stood with Neville and rubbed his back to soothe the boy before their next potions class, they would be receiving their most recent test scores that day and Neville was a nervous mess. Hermione too was nervous about the result - insisting that she had added one and one fifth of a tablespoon of crushed beetles instead of the required one and one eighth.

"Relax Hermione," Ron grumbled, "you'll end up with a perfect test - just like always."

Draco stood behind them and with a sneer, whispered to Crabbe and Goyle, "She could score one hundred on every test we ever take and it still wouldn't make up for being a worthless muggle-born."

Harry's eyes flashed, years of straining from his cupboard to hear whether Uncle Dursley and the Yellow Tuna had fallen asleep had honed his ears well. Nobody would get away with talking about Hermione that way - not even Draco.

Harry's arm snapped up from his side and swung around in a flash -

SLAP!

Draco stood gaping, his own hand covering the red handprint Harry had left on his cheek. He glanced to Crabbe and Goyle who would normally be pummelling anyone who dared raise a hand to him but whose loyalties toward both boys left them with no choice but to step back and protect Neville.

Draco turned back to Harry, now glaring, "What the hell is wrong with you?"

"What's wrong with me? What's wrong with you? How dare you say that about Hermione?!" Harry stamped his foot.

"She's lucky I bother to say anything about her at all, she's not worth my time - or your time either!"

"She is so!" Harry squealed. "If Hermione was a pureblood witch, you'd adore her just as much as I do!"

"Well she's not a pureblood witch, is she?" Draco scoffed.

"You - you - you horrid little Daddy's boy! That bigoted father of yours doesn't even have to be here to do all of your thinking for you."

"Don't you speak against my father!"

"Then don't speak against my friend!"

"Your friend .. So that's it, then?" Draco sneered. "You're picking that filthy little mudblood over me!"

Harry's eyes widened and he launched himself on Draco, knocking him backward and onto the floor. The two boys were fighting furiously, Harry had foregone slapping and was throwing his fisted little hands in a flurry.

"Stop it!" Hermione cried.

Ron had been content to let the fight go on but was forced into action by Hermione looking near tears. He bent down and scooped Harry around the waist, pulling him to his feet and off of Draco. Draco scrambled to his feet and lunged at Harry only to find himself held back by Goyle. Crabbe did his part and acted as the bind for Harry, relieving Ron and Hermione who had been struggling under Harry's flailing limbs.

"What is going on, here?" a low voice growled from the door. All eyes turned to see Snape swoop into the now fearfully silent classroom. "Longbottom!" Snape sneered, "Explain this!"

"We - we were," Neville trembled.

"Full sentences, if you don't mind." Snape snapped.

"We were waiting for class to begin and Draco called Hermione the 'm' word and Harry slapped him and they started fighting and then Ron stopped the fight." Neville finished with a teary eyed squeak.

Snape surveyed all those Neville had mentioned, pausing just long enough to wave his wand at Draco's rumpled figure to stop his nose bleed. "10 points from you Miss Granger, for instigating a fight. 50 points from you Mr Potter for attacking a fellow student. And 10 points from you Mr Weasley for failing to take Mr Malfoy to the infirmary immediately after stopping this fight. Detention for all three of you ... What are you waiting for? Escort Malfoy to Madam Pomfrey!"

Ron grabbed Draco's arm roughly and dragged him into the hallway.

"You evil git! I can't believe you said that to Harry," he seethed. "You're supposed to be his friend."

"I am his friend! Why else would I keep trying to help him?" Draco exclaimed shaking his robes free from Ron's grip.

"Help him?" Ron's eyes bulged, "how was calling Hermione a - what you said - supposed to help him?!"

"In case you haven't noticed, Weasley," Draco sneered, "Harry isn't just some unknown wizard who can do whatever he wants to - he's The-Boy-Who-Lived - his every move is going to watched constantly! My father says that people are going to be expecting him to conduct himself like a proper wizard should - they'll put him up on a pedestal and be looking for any reason to knock him down. And being friends with a muggle-born just makes it easier for them to do."

"Harry doesn't care about any of that."

"He doesn't now but he will one day and it'll be too late then."

"No ... that's not true. Blood doesn't matter."

"If you're going to be stupid at least have the guts to be honest," Draco fumed, "if everything else was equal, there isn't a wizarding family in Britain who wouldn't pick being pure-blooded to muggle-born, and you know it. You think Dumbledore or your father would trade their lineage for Hermione's without fighting tooth and nail? And would you?" Draco allowed himself a swollen smirk at Ron's hesitation, "I didn't think so."

"You're changing the subject!" Ron exclaimed. "The point is - "

"The point is, life will be a lot harder for Harry if he gets himself a bad reputation - and that's what will happen by being associated with muggle-borns. It just looks bad to people."

"Only people like your father!"
"Well it's people like my father that run the wizarding world isn't it?"

"That's not true! Professor Dumbledore is -"

" - Dumbledore is supposedly the greatest wizard of our time, so why is he running a school instead of the country? And what about your own father?"

"You don't know anything about my father!"
"Oh yes I do - the Weasley line is as old and pure as the Malfoy's - so why is your father sitting in the same stupid Ministry position he's had for almost ever? Because the people who run the show think his muggle loving attitude makes him a disgrace."

"He is not - you take that back!"
"Don't you get it, Weasley? It doesn't even matter if he is or not - what matters is that the people who have all the power think it. Harry needs someone to show him that."

"Yeah, that's right, Malfoy. Having one of his best friends tell him that muggle-borns are completely worthless is exactly what Harry needs!" Ron bellowed, "Do you even remember that his mum was muggle-born - people love knowing that their friends think their parents are scum."

"-"
"And if his mother is scum - then what about him? Harry shouldn't have to feel worthless because of his friends - he gets enough of that at home." Ron opened the door and shoved Draco into the infirmary.

"What did you say?" Draco gaped through his swollen lip.

"What?" Ron blanched and cursed under his breath. "Forget I said anything - just keep your fat mouth shut about your stupid pureblood rubbish."

Madam Pomfrey entered then and fretted over the pale bloody boy - tut tutting and murmuring charms now and again, each time relieving the swelling on various parts of Draco's face.

Ron scrambled to think of a way to keep Harry's secret while giving Draco a feasible answer.

Draco finished the bruise reduction potion Madam Pomfrey had given him and was finally allowed to leave the infirmary.

"What's wrong with Harry?" he asked at they passed through the doors.

Ron took a deep breath and hoped Harry wouldn't hate him for his slip up. "In the muggle world there are a lot of people who think wizards who like other wizards aren't as good as everyone else."

"What do you mean?"

"Harry says that sometimes people get really angry if they see gay people kiss or something in public - and sometimes they even get beat up because people think it's bad and going against muggle religions. Harry said that sometimes people even get killed."

"What?" Draco's pale face blanched. "But ... but that's ridiculous!"

"Well they don't think so." Ron eyes flared with anger again, "You know Harry didn't ever have any friends before he came to Hogwarts - because of that."

"Harry?! That just shows you how stupid muggles are then, doesn't it? Everyone knows you can't help if you like witches or wizards."

"Well Hermione couldn't exactly help being born a witch, you know. But if you had your way, she wouldn't have any friends either. Just a bunch of purebloods making fun of her."

"That's different!"

"Not to Harry, it isn't. What you're doing to Hermione here is the same thing they do to Harry there."

"But they're wrong - we're right."

"They think they're right too."

"You don't understand. My father says - "

"How do you know that your fathers right?"

"Because - he's always right."

"Says who?"

"Says ... him. Look, it doesn't matter who's right or wrong - this is just the way things work, and it's still not good for Harry to be around her!"

"Even if it isn't, trying to tell Harry that doesn't help him. He's never going to turn his back on one of his friends."

"He's turning his back on me." Draco glared.

"You're not giving him much of a choice."

"I don't exactly have much of a choice myself, do I? I won't even be allowed to be friends with Harry anymore - Father won't allow the Malfoy name to be tarnished."

"Your father doesn't exactly like Weasleys either but he didn't get you in trouble over me."

"I had to tell him that it was the only way to be friends with Harry - that won't be good enough for Hermione."

"Then we'll think of something else to tell him."

"Don't bother," Draco groaned, "Harry probably hates me now anyway."

"Like Harry would pass up the chance to kiss and make up!" Ron chuckled.

Draco snorted, "I'd have thought you'd be glad to get rid of me, Weasley."

Ron reddened and shrugged.

"Maybe ... maybe I should get him something to apologise -"

"Right, 'cause that's going to work on Harry."

"What wrong with that? That's how people apologise to me."

It was Ron's turn to snort, " ... Think of every single way that someone could get back into your good graces if they screwed up - and then do something completely different."

Draco stopped at a well polished suit of armour and used the reflection to straighten his still rumpled hair before returning to class.

"Whoa!" Ron exclaimed, "I just realised something!" his eyes grew wide and he doubled over with laughter.

"What?" Draco snapped.

"Cupcake just kicked your ass!"