No One's Lapdog

No One's Lapdog

Chapter eight

'I trust you both. It is time for you to lay aside your old differences, and trust each other.'

(GoF p. 618 Bloomsbury)

The next morning Rowena woke up early even though it was Sunday and no classes to attend to. The memory of last night flooded her brain, making her lie completely still and just stare happily at the ceiling. Snape loved her! There was no mistaking it. Unless it had only been a dream... But it couldn't be. Every single one of her muscles were sore after her war on the unfortunate Bludger, and she still had a throbbing lump in the back of her head from falling to the ground after Snape had stupefied her in the duelling match. But most importantly, her lips were still burning...

She got out of bed, dressing slowly, looking out of her window at the dazzlingly bright sunlight bathing the grounds, busily melting the thin layer of snow, just savouring the feeling of another fine day at Hogwarts. When she went downstairs for breakfast, a few students were already seated at their tables in the Great Hall. Most of the early risers were fifth-years, anxiously studying and revising for their OWLS exams. Rowena sat down at the teachers' table, happily greeting Professor Flitwick and McGonagall the headmistress. So far they were the only teachers that were there.

'Early start today Rowena?' McGonagall inquired.

'Yeah, no reason to stay in bed when the day's turning out so lovely, is it?' she replied brightly.

McGonagall raised her eyebrows at her.

'I don't know what's gotten into you Rowena, but you're usually quite grumpy this early in the morning.' Her aunt smiled slightly. 'Not that I mind the change. Toast?'

'Thanks,' Rowena replied, 'I think I'll have everything today; I'm ravenously hungry!'

*

She had thought it would be hard to get some work done, but instead she discovered her euphoria sharpened her mind, giving her a fresh supply of energy, helping her concentrate. She effectively marked a huge stack of students' essays before lunch. She looked forward to lunch, knowing she'd get to see Snape. She could hardly wait to look into those black glittering eyes again... And in the afternoon, she had promised Madam Hooch to oversee the Quidditch pitch when the house teams were practising. In short: A perfect day!

When she entered the Great Hall, it was bustling with happy students, hungrily eating their way through huge mounds of roast and baked potatoes. Her eyes automatically swerved towards the teacher's table, more precisely to the seat on McGonagall's right. But the chair was empty. She went over to her seat at the far left of the table and sat down, filling her plate. Snape would be here shortly, he usually didn't miss out on meals.

But he didn't turn up for lunch. Disappointed, she made her way to her office to get her broom. Walking to the Quidditch pitch in the middle of the chattering Hufflepuff team, she couldn't help wondering why he hadn't been there. His empty chair had her all worried. Well, she'd get to see him for supper. She pushed the troubled thoughts to the back of her mind, concentrating on the Quidditch practise.

When supper came and went with no Snape turning up, Rowena couldn't stand the suspense anymore. She got up from her usual seat and went over to McGonagall, sitting down in Snape's seat at her right, on the pretence of having some questions about the curriculum. Trying to sound casual, she addressed her aunt,

'Professor Snape's not here today?'

'No,' McGonagall answered shortly, busy getting second helpings of vegetables.

'Why?' Rowena asked anxiously.

McGonagall shot an inquisitive look at her, narrowing her eyes slightly.

'I don't know. And even if I did, I am under no obligation to tell you, Rowena. He just left me a message he needed to go away. He'll be back for his classes tomorrow morning. You two will undoubtedly be happy to go on pestering each other then, so what's the rush?' McGonagall shook her head as she returned her attention to her peas and carrots.

Rowena went all cold inside. There could of course be a number of reasons why Snape so suddenly had wanted to leave Hogwarts, but she could think of at least one that came to mind: Maybe he had gotten cold feet after their little encounter last night. Maybe he already regretted kissing her, telling her he loved her. The happiness she had felt earlier that day, deflated like a punctured tyre.

*

Monday morning she again woke up early, not because she felt happy this time, but rather depressed. She made her way downstairs, her heart beating nervously. Entering the Great Hall, her eyes were again immediately drawn to the centre of the teacher's table. This time Snape was sitting in his chair, right next to McGonagall, engaged in conversation like nothing had happened, like he had never been away. Rowena suddenly had a mad urge to rush over to him and throw herself at him, hugging him, never letting go. But she suspected Snape wouldn't exactly jump for joy at the idea of an affectionate surprise assault in public (or in private for that matter), so instead she walked quietly past the table to her seat at the far end, hoping he wouldn't look up and spot her. That, however, did not stop her from being disappointed when she managed to make it all the way to her seat without Snape looking up even once.

Rowena hardly ate anything. For once in her life she didn't feel hungry. She didn't even have the energy to look in Snape's direction. She fingered her food absentmindedly, hunched over her plate. Through her misery she suddenly registered a familiar scent. It was a smell of pleasant - cleanliness. Trying to remember why it made her feel so good, she straightened up, turning her head to sniff the air. Startled, she saw Snape sitting right next to her, watching her silently, his face inscrutable.

'Don't creep up on me like that! I almost had a heart attack!' Rowena breathed exasperatedly, her face reddening.

Snape's lip curled.

'If I were to catch any of my Slytherin students slumped against the table like that, I'd teach her a thing or two about table manners and proper carriage.'

She stared back at him.

'Well, as I'm not one of your precious Slytherins you're hereby spared the effort,' she said more coldly than she had intended.

Instead of retaliating like he would normally do, he just smirked lightly at her, amusement written across his face. It unnerved her.

'What?' she sneered, 'Gone all mute?'

He rearranged his face in what was supposedly an annoyed look just to please her, then said,

'So, it seems you're back in one piece after your reckless Beater's practise Saturday night?'

She stared questioningly at him. He smiled smugly.

'You wonder how I know you had another go at that Bludger after I left? I read you like an open book.' He looked thoughtfully at her. 'Of course, that's not so hard with those bruises you've got under your left eye which definitely weren't there the last time I saw you. No subtlety, Rowena, no subtlety,' he said with an air of superiority.

'Well, for your information, the one who didn't survive the encounter that night was the Bludger, not me,' she spat. Seeing the frown on his face, she added hurriedly, 'And yes, I am going to replace the ball, don't you worry.'

Snape looked silently at her, then nodded curtly at her plate.

'Finished eating?'

'Er, well, I guess I am... Why are you asking?' she spluttered, perplexed by the sudden change of subject.

'Good,' he said, not answering her question. He checked his watch. 'Half an hour to go before classes start. There's still time.'

And with no further ado, he got up from the table, grabbed her by the arm and said,

'Come with me.'

*

Rowena felt herself being firmly steered away from the table and across the Great Hall. She almost had to run to keep up with his swift stride. In the corner of her eye, she could see the students turning their heads and staring curiously at her and Snape.

'Hey, slow down, will you?' she whispered urgently. 'The way you're dragging me along it looks like you're hauling me off to Mr. Filch's office for detention or something.'

'So?' he replied airily.

They had reached the marble staircase. She stopped, narrowing her eyes at him, wrenching herself free of his grip.

'Where are you taking me anyway?' she asked rather anxiously.

He sent her a quick look, answering coolly,

'No time for talk Rowena.' Snape held out his hand, silently asking her to trust him, to let him lead her to wherever he wanted to take her.

Looking into his calm, dark eyes, any doubts she might have had just melted away. They continued up the stairs. The warmth of his hand securely holding hers spread through her body like fire, making her heart flutter. Their hurried walk brought them along several corridors and up quite a few stairs. And just when they came level with the statue of Gregory the Smarmy, Snape suddenly pulled her behind it, his eyes darting left and right to make sure they were not being watched, then he turned his full attention towards her. He was so close she could feel his breath. His dark eyes looked intently at her. Then he spoke, in that extraordinarily soft voice of his,

'Just for the record: Do you love me?'

She gasped. It was quite a shock hearing the otherwise subtle Snape speaking so plainly. But he obviously wanted a straight answer. Now. She blushed, but her voice was steady.

'I love you.'

He looked proudly at her, his black eyes glittering.

'I thought so.'

Then he unceremoniously whisked her off again, gliding quickly along the corridor, Rowena looking like a question mark as she hurried along in his wake. At last she found herself standing in front of the door to McGonagall's office. Snape let go of her hand and knocked at the door.

'Enter.'

*

'Yes?'

McGonagall sat behind her desk, looking enquiringly up at them, her glasses perched on the tip of her nose. Snape didn't hesitate, but went straight ahead, not even bothering to sit down. Rowena remained standing by his side, unsure of what to do.

'Minerva.' He bowed politely. 'There's not much time as classes are about to start, so I'll be quick, if you don't mind.'

'Not at all,' Minerva answered graciously.

'Then may I turn your attention to the Hogwarts school policy and its rules and regulations, stating that any courting, especially involving any of the staff, that might have impact on the school running must be reported to and subsequently dealt with by the administration and school board?'

McGonagall looked sharply at him.

'Why do you want to bring up...'

She suddenly stopped speaking, comprehension dawning on her face. She turned her stern face towards Rowena.

'Mulligan! I'm appalled! I thought you had better things to do than run around chasing men! Oh no, don't tell me you're having an inappropriate relationship with a senior student?' Her aunt looked forbidding. 'I'm confident you haven't failed to notice the serious implications of such a match...'. Her voice trailed away, and she looked shaken. 'What foolish excuse for a man has messed up what's left of your judgement, Rowena?'

Rowena stared open-mouthed at her aunt, not able to utter any sound even if she had wanted to. But Snape calmly answered the question for her.

'Not just any fool, Minerva, and certainly not a student. As for what you're insinuating about her judgement; I'm pretending I never heard that.'

As he spoke he turned towards Rowena and carefully reached for her hand, giving it a quick, reassuring squeeze. Rowena blushed more furiously than ever. Holding hands in front of McGonagall was truly a bold and very scary thing to do. Snape looked determinedly back at Minerva, not letting go of Rowena's hand, giving the headmistress plenty of time to let his statement sink in. McGonagall, on the other hand, seemed to have gone momentarily speechless, her eyes popping as she looked from Snape to Rowena and back again to Snape. After what seemed like an eternity, she tremblingly reached for her handkerchief and blew her nose loudly, making it sound very much like one of Peeves's infamous raspberries. Despite her own confusion, Rowena almost had to smile. She had never seen her aunt so completely off the hinge before.

'I see,' Minerva said faintly, shakily readjusting her glasses. 'I'm - I seem to have jumped to the wrong conclusion, haven't I. Er, I don't know what to say,' she said all flustered, dabbing her forehead.

'You might want to try 'congratulations',' Snape suggested politely, the corners of his mouth twitching.

McGonagall flinched.

'Yes - yes, of course. Forgive me,' she croaked, still not quite over the shock of seeing them together.

Snape took a deep breath, still not letting go of Rowena's hand.

'Well then, back to my inquiry about the Hogwarts rules,' he said quietly. 'Headmistress; I am, as of now, officially notifying you that I, er - seem to have acquired a certain - fondness for a colleague of mine. I believe there's no need to introduce her as you already know your niece quite well.' He paused, his otherwise sallow skin turning a lighter shade of pink as he shot a quick glance at Rowena. He looked back at McGonagall and continued proudly, squeezing Rowena's hand a little tighter, 'She has informed me she feels the same way about me.'

Rowena's heart swelled. It was surreal. She was actually listening to Snape declaring his love for her, in the presence of McGonagall. It made her head swim.

'I hear you,' replied McGonagall, finally coming around, getting back some of her old perkiness.

Snape continued, his face set.

'I am counting on you graciously letting me defend my case in front of the school board, Minerva. I also want you to know I am willing to...'

McGonagall frowned, interrupting him.

'There will be no need to appear in front of the school board, Severus.'

Snape looked alarmed.

'But Minerva, I must insist...'

She interrupted him again.

'You don't understand Severus. You don't need to appear before the school board because frankly it's none of their business who you fancy, as long as she's of age. And as I'm Rowena's aunt I can verify she is.'

Smiling brusquely at Rowena, McGonagall said under her breath, 'Well, at least technically...'

Snape frowned, ignoring Minerva's snide remark.

'But the school policy says...'

'...That I have the authority to decide whether a case like this should be handled by the school board or not, and I'm deciding it's ridiculous to take this matter to the school board,' Minerva said decisively, settling the matter.

'You know what I must ask you to do. If you are ready ... If you are prepared...'

'I am,' said Snape. He looked slightly paler than usual, and his cold, black eyes glittered strangely.

(GoF p. 619 Bloomsbury)

Snape's face was pale, expressing a strange mixture of pain and stubborn determination.

'I know the Slytherin mindset inside out, Minerva. The parents will not be very pleased when they find out I am, well - fraternizing with the Gryffindor Head of House. They're going to worry where my loyalties lie. They're going to think I will not be able to tend to the Slytherin students' needs and rights.' He paused slightly, frowning. 'I needed to go away yesterday, to be able to think, to clear my mind - to set my priorities right. And my heart is set. If I am ever asked to choose...'. He paused again, his black, fathomless eyes resting momentarily on Rowena's face, then continued, '... I want you to know I'm willing to give up my position as the Slytherin Head of House.'

Snape's announcement was met with stunned silence. McGonagall stared hard at him, while Rowena looked wonderingly at his face. An incredible feeling of warmth filled her, making tears well in her eyes, blurring her vision. Snape couldn't possibly have said any plainer how much he cared for her. Quietly, she released her grip around his hand slightly, freeing her thumb to gently caress the palm of his hand, expressing her feelings for him without her aunt noticing. She could feel a shiver running through his body at her touch. The quick look he shot at her was positively burning with passion, making her head swim again.

When Minerva at last spoke, it was in a quiet, sincere voice.

'It's not pure luck or a curious twist of fate that has made me appoint you the Deputy Headmaster, Severus. Despite the rivalry between you and me and our respective houses, and, your sometimes - er, strict dealings with your students, I have found ample reason to trust and rely on you more than any of the other teachers at Hogwarts. I have full confidence in you, and I do not think for a moment that the Slytherin House will suffer any injustice because of your friendship. Quite the contrary; if I hear you're making life harder for the Gryffindor students so as to reassure the Slytherins you're still on their side, you'll have me to answer to!' She sent him a half joking, half-threatening look.

When Snape stubbornly opened his mouth in protest, she waved her finger impatiently at him.

'And I wish you would put some trust in me too Severus! You do not honestly believe I'm so useless I can't handle a few disgruntled parents?'

Minerva blew her nose again, clearing her throat. Her eyes were strangely misty.

'Frankly, the way you two have been at each other's throats from the moment Rowena set foot on Hogwarts ground, I must admit it came as a surprise that you've - well, finally come to your senses. But after having recovered from the initial shock, I'm pleased to say I'm delighted you've won the heart of my favourite niece, Severus. Truly delighted.'

Then she added briskly,

'Well, if you'll excuse me; I need to get some work done, and so do you, I believe.'

Snape and Rowena were already by the door when the headmistress called after them.

'Just for the record: I've already had to remind you duelling in the corridors is strictly out of bounds. Will I also have to remind you of the rules regarding public display of affection?' McGonagall looked sternly at them, peering over her glasses.

Snape looked slightly embarrassed, but Rowena just laughed.

'Er, no - that won't be necessary.'

'Good. If you need reminding of what that includes, you're free to have a look at Mr. Filch's extensive list pinned on his office door,' her aunt replied gruffly but not without a twinkle in her eye.

They closed the door behind them and descended the revolving stairs, finally emerging from behind the stone gargoyle. When they found themselves back in the corridor, they stopped a little indecisively. Rowena looked shyly at Snape. So much had happened the last half hour she was still feeling rather light-headed. He met her eyes, looking inquiringly at her.

'I was just wondering... Would you like meeting me again in the grounds tonight?' Snape whispered, his lips barely moving as a group of Ravenclaw sixth-years hurried past them.

'What, for a duel?' Rowena asked in a hushed voice.

'Nah, to be honest, I'm growing a bit tired of duelling,' he replied a little awkwardly. The way his gaze flickered from her eyes down to her lips, she had a fairly good idea what he'd rather want to do.

She blushed for the fourth time that day. Embarrassed, it annoyed her Snape threw her off balance so easily.

'Well, I wouldn't mind having a go at my broom again,' Rowena said testily, denying him the pleasure of seeing her go all mushy. 'Why don't you bring yours too?'

Snape looked slightly taken aback.

'On one condition only.' His lip curled. 'That the remaining Bludger stays safely strapped down in its box. I don't fancy much having you pelting Bludgers at me.'

Intentional or not, that was your second compliment, Severus, Rowena thought proudly. Out loud she said smugly,

'Of course, we can't have our fearless Defence Against the Dark Arts professor taking unnecessary risks, can we,' she smiled teasingly.

'Why do I get the distinct impression you're making fun of me Rowena?' Snape said ever so softly, his black eyes glittering, pinning her with his powerful stare. Leaning towards her, their noses almost touching, he whispered,

'We'll see about who's the braver one tonight.' He paused, lightly touching her chin with a long, white index finger, smiling mysteriously. We'll see...

Rowena felt a sudden urge to press her mouth against his to stop that annoying lip from curling, but just then the school bell rang.

Don't forget your broom, Rowena voiced silently as they parted.

Snape's black eyes looked inscrutably at her before he turned and headed towards the dungeons, while Rowena hurried off in the opposite direction for her Double Potions class.