Harry and Cowmione

It was a sunny day when the baby beluga fell out of the sky. That drastically changed the course of the world forever and ever and ever and ever (and five million evers after that)

Before that, Hermione and Harry were out on a random date at the lake. Harry was showing off and showing Hermione how he could wrestle the giant squid. Harry was just getting pinned when the baby beluga fell out of the sky.

All of a sudden, Hogsmeade totally warped. All of the stores were somehow transformed into giant lumps of moldy cheese. The baby beluga from the deep blue sea (may it swim so wild, and swim so free) was turned into a giant potato. But the worst thing of all was that Hermione was gone!!!!!!

All that was there was a giant cow.

Surprisingly, Harry didn't change. He stayed the same. Maybe it's because he was already wacko before. The world will never know.

Anyway, Harry was left in a deserted Hogsmeade with nothing but a giant cow. And boy did it smell bad!!!

But then Harry realized that the cow was Hermione!

And he noticed that she was especially sexy and hot this way!

So he went up to her (well, actually it) and started kissing her (it.) Hermione (actually the cow) liked it so much that she started spraying milk everywhere and mooooooing. Then she somehow made a lump of cheese for Harry. It smelled a lot better than all the buildings. Harry thought it smelled so good, so he ate it.

"Thank you, Hermione!" he said. "It was delicious!"

Hermione moooooed back, and it sounded distinctly like "You're welcome, I guess!"

They continued on with their disgusting love session.

After all of that went on for a while, Harry realized he had to go back to school.

"I'll miss you Hermione!" he yelled to the cow. "I will never forget you!"

Hermione moooooooed back, and it sounded distinctly like "I hate you, and I hope I never have to look at your ugly face forever!"

Harry then left to go back to Hogwarts. When he got there, he was late for Potions, and Snape took off 398 house points because he was bored.

Of course everyone in Gryffindor got hecka pissed, and beat him up in the common room. Harry was left with 2 black eyes, a sprained leg, numerous bruises, and a broken heart because his girlfriend was not there.

And as for the cow? Hermione enjoyed the rest of her life at the dairy farm, and ended up starring in some movies and commercials. She was glad to be rid of that idiot Harry. Hermione hated the way he always showed off and tried to get her attention by doing random stupid stunts. However, in the end, she was sent to the meat market and sold to grocery stores around the world.

Hogsmeade was eventually rebuilt, and they got better stores. All the Hogwarts students were happy, and lived that way forever and ever and ever and ever....

You get the point.

But they never could get that rotten cheese smell in Hogsmeade to go away.