Love is the Child of an Endless War

Penny definitely knew of what she spoke when she'd told George that so soon as she'd stopped feeling ill she would begin to swell like one of those freak magically enlarged pumpkins they used to have at Hogwarts every Halloween. What she hadn't known was that she would start to swell much sooner than she expected, and grow quite a bit larger as well. When the sunshine began overwhelming the snow clouds, and bright green sprigs of grass poked up out of the cold earth, they found out that she was pregnant with two of George's babies. Double the sleeplessness and the hours spent nursing, the terrible-toddlers timed two. George was ecstatic, Penny something less so. She grew ungainly much faster than she had with Jasper and Phillipa. At six months she looked ready to deliver, and woefully suspected that well before her nine month she would no longer be able to move.

Jasper had recovered nicely from his missing appendix, but declined going back to Hogwarts to finish out the year. He just couldn't bear watching Ian Og Keep in his place, he told George. George kept his promise that Jasper need never leave unless he wanted to. It was quite a bit more strain on Penny to have him at home, despite the fact that Percy came over almost every day.

Percy hadn't found a suitable occupation, yet. He didn't place much pressure on himself to do so, either. Crashing at Penny and George's guesthouse beat staying in his mother's attic hands down. It had two bedrooms, a brand new finished bath, was fully furnished, even to the kitchen, and it was howl free. He spent his winter and early spring appreciating and becoming reacquainted with his family, especially his children. His passion for Penny he sublimated into friendship and loyalty. He had loved her too well, and for too long, to do anything less for her. It meant being civil to George, most of the time, which wasn't as hard a task for him as it used to be. George and Fred didn't shadow one another the way that they used to do. The grown-up twins lived their separate lives; at least for several hours each day, and Percy found them much easier to deal with one on one.

Try as he might Percy could not find a single fault with the way that George cared for his wife and his children. It was nothing less than a miracle, he thought, but the little moron had actually turned himself into a decent husband and father. He was devotedly loving to Penny, and unfailingly attentive and kind to the children. Percy hated it, but he was learning to live with it. Fred, at least, was still a big loser on the personal relationship front. Even though he hadn't ended up rotting his life away in prison the way Percy had expected he would.

Having discovered newfound appreciation for the joys of home and family, Percy made it a mission to visit with the rest of his siblings too. He spent some evenings having dinner with Harry and Ginny. Making a fuss over his new niece Nymphadora. She was a delicate and perfect baby girl, the very image of Harry minus the scar. Sitting in first class seats, courtesy of George, rather than the cargo hold as he had on his way back from hell, he flew in a Muggle airplane to spend a few weeks in Hong Kong with his brother Bill. Bill, apparently, was yet another big loser on the personal relationship front.

The next trip he planned on taking was to the States to visit with Ron. He'd heard that the North American Southwest was indescribably beautiful in the springtime. He'd asked George's and Penny's permission to have the children with him and was gratified when they said yes. Never once in his whole life had Percy considered that there might ever come a day when he would have to convince his stupid, evil, moronic, younger brother that he could be trusted to care for his own children. George was so overprotective of them it was ridiculous.

Walking over to the big house that day to see if Penny needed any help in packing the children's things, he found her in a state. She was fretfully pacing her enormous kitchen. Making him think for a moment that her labor had come upon her too soon. She'd paced their flat for a week straight before delivering Jasper.

"Hullo, sweetheart," he greeted her with a concerned look. "Is something wrong?"

She had just finished scrubbing the slate tile floor and cleaning out the fridge in a flat-out frenzy of nesting. Unable to sit still comfortably for more than a few moments, Penny had decided to continue polishing the already sparkling clean kitchen geyser. Her wildly curling hair, made even more thick and unruly by her pregnancy, was barely contained by a shiny, ostentatious jeweled clip. Percy recognized the jewels as the most valuable of rubies, as red as human blood and twice as precious.

He'd gleaned more than a passing acquaintance with gems and their worth after stealing jewels from war-ravaged bodies. Knowledge about jewels and precious metals had come in handy scavenging his way through ungoverned lands that held no currency worth mentioning. Real treasure retained its worth, no matter the circumstances of the citizens who owned it. Penny's lavish hair adornment was incongruous contrast to her damp, detergent-stained, maternity trousers, and her over-large, bright red t-shirt with the Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes logo imprinted on it: "Life is uncertain, entertain yourself first." Jasper and Phil weren't the only ones utterly spoiled by George's wealth, Percy noted again.

Wiping the dew off her forehead with a pewter polish-stained hand Penny whirled in surprise to see Percy standing in the middle of the kitchen behind her. She'd forgotten what it was like to live with him popping up at unexpected times and places on his absolutely silent feet. She called the phenomenon 'Sneaking Weasley Feet'. It was a family trait apparently, but none of them was so gifted at stealth as Percy. "Oh, Percy! You startled me! I'm only working off some of my spare aggression so that I don't take it out on our son. He went and set off a Custom Conflagration in the barn yesterday afternoon!"

"How'd I miss that?" Percy asked, thinking about where he'd been the previous afternoon. "I think I was having tea with Remus and Mother."

"You must have been," Penny agreed. "Because you couldn't have missed that chaos any other way. That is unless you were deaf, blind, and stupid. The Muggle fire truck came tearing up the drive when they saw fire wheels whirling in the sky over our house. I don't think anyone even had the time to ring them. They come out of habit by now, I suppose. The little devil found those fireworks in George's old trunk out in the barn, and set them off on the spot. Scared Lord Voldemort half to death. He broke down his stall and ran right over Phillipa."

"Is Phil all right?" Percy asked, presuming he would have been notified by now if his daughter had been grievously injured.

"She's banged up a bit." Penny shook her head. "And poor Lord Voldemort has a swollen foreleg. I'll tell you what, if I had a lap anymore, or could even move properly, I'd have spanked Jasper silly yesterday. George Apparated home in a fury and I was certain he meant to do it for me, but Jasper talked him out of it."

Percy shrugged, "George is a soft touch. He was always the first one to stop pummeling me mercilessly whenever he and Fred ganged up on me. Once or twice he even pulled Fred off of me. I did him the return favor of not hitting him back quite as hard as I hit Fred. Don't tell anyone though, it would upset Fred if he knew."

Wiping her hands dry on her damp trousers Penny disregarded this, the latest revelation in the Weasley brother's saga of rivalry. As if she, or anyone else, actually cared what made their strange sibling relationship tick. There were far more pressing matters to deal with in life. Like seeing to it that Jasper grew safely to adulthood and stayed out of prison. "I don't know if Jasper would agree with you today about George's soft touch. George confiscated his wand for the summer, and promised him he won't sit for a week if he so much as looks at anybody else's. So he has to fix Lord Voldemort's stall, clean up Phil's room, and re-paint the inside of the barn all without magic. I hope you're not too upset, Percy, but I've told him he can't go on holiday with you unless all of his punishments done."

Percy felt terribly disappointed, but he wouldn't tell Penny so. It would only make her feel worse. Besides he was incredibly relieved that George had a firm hand with Jasper and didn't allow him to get away with any nonsense.

"Painting that barn all by himself is a big job for a little boy, Pen," was his only comment.

"It is a big job," she agreed. "George had second thoughts about it this morning because he is a soft touch. I think he doesn't want Jasper to have to miss his trip with you. But I told him he's not to have any mercy. If it were up to me I'd have given Jasper a spanking and made him do all the rest as well. He might have done Phil serious injury. He's so careless with his magic, he just doesn't think."

"Is Jasper out in the barn now?" Percy asked. "Would it be all right if I go out there to talk to him?"

"Yes. He's been out there since six o'clock this morning, and it's almost one now. I'd think he'd be starving and come in for some lunch, but I haven't heard a peep out of him all day. He gets sulky, you know, when he's in trouble. A bit like you used to do."

"Maybe," Percy admitted with a grin. "But I never almost set the barn on fire. That's George's influence coming out in him."

Percy found his son feebly wielding a large paintbrush dipped into white paint out in the barn. Lord Voldemort, who had been secured back into his stall, was fractiously munching on oats and stomping his wounded leg crossly. He snickered wickedly when Percy walked into the barn. Acting reflexively, Percy covered his backside with both hands. Phil's pony could be every bit as sneaky and cruel as the Dark Lord had been.

"Hullo, Father," Jasper greeted him weakly, looking terribly pale and wearing deep shadows beneath his brilliant blue eyes.

"Jasper," Percy responded giving him a distinct look of paternal disapproval.

Recovering from his bout of weakness long enough to express his irritation Jasper dropped his paintbrush into the paint bucket with disgust. "Tell me you haven't come all the way out here to scold me!" he demanded in an extremely injured tone of voice. "I think I am suffering quite enough already for accidentally setting off some fireworks."

Percy eyed him curiously, "Accidentally? How exactly does one accidentally set off fireworks, Jasper? Humor me, I've never been one to play with fire, that's more Fred and George's line of amusement than mine."

"Yes. Accidentally," Jasper repeated succinctly. "I had set down my wand when I took the Conflagration out of the trunk. I wasn't even touching it when the tip ignited itself and caught the fuse. It scared the hell out of me, and I dropped the fireworks on the floor."

Percy considered this information for a minute. It was entirely possible that Jasper was telling the truth. Some Wizards could power their wands from a distance; a few truly great ones could do it without even using the right words. Voldemort certainly did, Dumbledore, too, and Harry, of course. But it wasn't very common for a Wizard to do, and certainly not one so young as Jasper.

"Have you told George that it was an accident?" Percy asked feeling fairly confident that George wasn't unfair or overly harsh when it came to dealing with Jasper. He had a few complaints on his own account, but he repeated George's "Bygones" mantra whenever he was inclined to dwell on them.

"Certainly, I have," Jasper replied sounding defensive. He reminded Percy of the way Penny reacted to anybody doubting her intellect. "That's why he didn't spank the living hell out of me.

He, at least, can be reasoned with. Mummy gets that kitchen spoon in her hand and there is just no talking to her. But even though I said I didn't mean to set the barn on fire Uncle George said I had no business going through his trunks and touching his things without permission. So, I am punished anyway. It will take me the rest of my life to paint this barn and I hope you and Phil have fun without me in the desert."

Watching his son's facial expressions, and clearly interpreting the bitter, sarcastic irony in his tone Percy had a bizarre and squicky notion that if he and George had ever had a child together, Jasper was exactly what he would be like. "Well, Jasper," Percy said feeling truly sorry. "I'll miss you terribly if you can't come with us, but I have to say I agree with George." It was a sentiment which when expressed aloud sounded so absolutely absurd coming from his mouth that he was forced to laugh.

Jasper's dark brows drew together in a very disapproving frown, and he grumbled crankily, "I'd not think you'd find all of this quite so amusing. I'm not finding it funny in the least."

Percy hastily reassembled his countenance to purvey the grave sympathy that Jasper expected of him. "I'm not laughing at your predicament, son. I was just thinking about my own father." And that was at least partially true.

Jasper's frown eased a little and he asked, "Was your father very funny?"

"Very funny," Percy said. "And very kind, very easy going, too. A whole lot like George, in fact. He spent most of his time laughing behind his hand at some your uncles' worst antics; he had a real sense of humor about it. It wasn't fair to my mother, or to me, because we were always left with the task of trying to correct their outrageous behavior without his assistance, but it always made others think well of him."

Jasper was only twelve, but parental resentment he understood and recognized when he heard it. "Didn't you like your father?"

"Everybody liked my father," Percy admitted easily. "Almost everyone. Arthur Weasley was a likeable man. I will say, though, Jasper, that I think George has learned a valuable lesson from my father that he never intended to teach. When you're older you might agree that it's better to have someone who loves you a lot try to correct your behavior by punishing you a little bit now than it would be to have someone who doesn't love you punish you severely because your behavior has become uncorrectable later on in life. I've almost been convinced that he's learned something about responsibility after all."

"Yes, he's very big on responsibility," Jasper grumbled fitfully. "He's always after me to set a better example for my sister."

"And so you should," Percy agreed. "Phillipa looks up to you and she watches everything you do, even when you think she doesn't notice. Being a big brother is a tough job, Jasper. And you've got two more siblings on the way. I'd like to see you up to the task of setting them a good example."

"I don't think I am capable, Father," Jasper said with a resigned sigh. "I'm a Weasley after all."

"Well, so am I!" Percy objected.

"You returned your Weasley Christmas sweater to Gran," Jasper accused. "Uncle George told me it broke her heart. Was that very responsible?"

Percy massaged the back of his neck thoughtfully before replying, "There were mitigating circumstances there, Jasper. Leave it to George to make me out to be ruthless and unkind."

Inveigling Jasper back into the house with a promise to make him whatever he wanted to eat for lunch, Percy set his ulterior motive on improving Jasper's mood. A good portion of his irritability undoubtedly stemmed from hunger and in his current frame of mind Jasper was unlikely to be able to persuade Penny or George to reduce the terms of his sentence. To evidence Percy's suspicions when they entered the kitchen Penny asked, "How are you doing out in the barn, Jasper?" and he rebutted her inquisition with a disgruntled snort.

"I think you can come up with a more civil response than that when your mother asks you a question, Jasper," Percy urged him meaningfully with a heavy hand on his shoulder.

Groaning, Jasper shook his pounding head. He had three parents now. It didn't matter what Father said about just wanting to be in his life as a good friend. What he'd meant was, in his life as a much older, good friend who is really your father and is going to tell you what to do whether anybody else likes it or not. Really, suffering with three parents was more than any boy should have to tolerate. "I'm sorry, Mummy," he sighed. Resigned to speaking to her respectfully in his father's presence. "Since you've asked, I no longer have any feeling in my right arm, and my head aches unto throbbing from the paint fumes, but Lord Voldemort's stall has been repaired, and there is some paint on the barn walls."

"Well, you can count yourself lucky then that you still have feeling in your backside. If it were up to me you wouldn't be able to sit down comfortably today," Penny retorted evenly, irritated by his cheek. "Now, what will you have for your lunch?"

"You sit down, sweetie," Percy told her, observing the way she rubbed the muscles of her lower back. "I'm making lunch for Jasper. You've been working too hard today. Why are you in the kitchen anyway? You need to be off your feet. What's happened to your useless house elf?"

"Aloysious has the afternoon off to go to the tanning booth," Penny admitted a little uncomfortably. "He's vacationing in the south of France next month and he hates to go looking so gray."

Percy let out a disgusted moan. "Does George know about that? Does he know he's paying top galleon for his house elf's beauty regime? And that his pregnant wife is on her feet all day because of it?"

Jasper snorted again, "Of course he doesn't know it. She'll excuse the house elf's bad behavior no end, but she can't ever bring herself to listen to her own son."

"That is enough cheek from you, young man!" Penny said severely. "I can still spank you, you know?"

"I don't think you can catch me now, Mum," Jasper said glancing evilly at her enormous belly.

"Don't put it to the chance," Penny narrowed her gaze. Turning to Percy she said, "No, George doesn't know. And I'd appreciate you not telling him either. Good house elves are difficult to come by now that they're no longer enslaved. If George lets Aloysious go it will take me forever to find us another one and train him up properly."

Percy made them cheese and vegetable omelets for lunch at Jasper's request. His mood seemed to be soothed after a few bites. Then Percy realized he'd fallen fast asleep on his plate. They had agreed in the barn on trying to convince Penny to allow Jasper to finish his painting when he returned from his holiday in the desert. His curly head toppled over onto his eggs mid-whine while making his case for leniency.

"I'd say he's tired. He must have worked himself pretty hard out there this morning," Percy commented lifting his son up out of the chair and settling his lolling head onto his shoulder.

"Poor little lamb," Penny said standing up to kiss Jasper's forehead. "He's so sweet and adorable when he's asleep, and not deliberately trying to provoke me or destroy the planet as we know it. You'd best put him into bed. I can tell by the way his eyes are rolling into the back of his head that he'll sleep for some time."

When Percy came back down stairs after putting Jasper in bed he got to finish his eggs with George, who had Apparated himself home early for the day on a more than sneaking suspicion that he would catch the elf goofing off and Penny slaving over the household chores. Most of which she'd been instructed not to do. As a method of distraction from their domestic help problems she was filling him in on the Jasper situation. "I did tell you this morning that barn is too big for him to paint all by himself, Pen," George reiterated his argument.

"Yes, you say that now, George, but if you had heard how cheeky he was to me when he first came into lunch today you'd agree that he'd be better behaved for having been spanked," Penny informed him.

"Don't look at me that way," George rebutted. "He told me it was an accident. I'm not going to spank him for making a mistake. Besides, Phil is okay. She went to school just fine today. No lasting harm has been done." With a deceptively casual air he took his wife's hand, rubbing its work-reddened roughness with an affectionate thumb. "Penny, that new lotion you've been using on your hands is fabulous. It's such a clean, lemony smell. I can't exactly place the scent but it's something like----oh, I don't know, Mrs. Skower's Magical Power Mess Remover?"

Penny tried to jerk her hand back into her own lap, but George kept a tight grip, giving it a meaningful squeeze. They would be discussing Aloysius' vacation leave again shortly, she was sure. Trying to deflect George's attention back onto Jasper's bad behavior rather than her own Penny replied, "If Jasper gives me much more sass I'm going to wash his mouth out with Magical Mess Remover."

"Is he giving you a bad time, sweetie?" Percy queried.

"No worse than usual," George answered.

"Worse than usual," Penny corrected him succeeding in removing her hand from his grasp and returning it to her own lap. "Lately he has an eye-roll or a smart come back for everything. It's quite wearing on my nerves."

"He's been rather annoyed with you since you took "Troll Stomp" back out of his room," George observed forking the last bit of Jasper's lunch into his mouth. "This omelet was delicious, Percy. Reminds me of the old days in The Burrow when Fred and I would give Mum nervous collapse and you had to cook supper." Then turning to his wife he added, "I'm wondering, though, why Percy is making your lunch when I pay an absolute fortune every month for a chef elf to cook for us?"

Penny, flushing under his scrutiny,caught the wicked gleam in his eye and blurted out, "You saw Aloysious coming out of the tanning booth at the corner of Knockturn and Diagon didn't you? I told him to be discreet!"

George nodded, giving her a particularly satisfied grin, "I expect he'll be returning here shortly. As soon as he returns his new swimming trunks and sun specs to the Elvish Enchantments Boutiques. Because he's not going on vacation, Penny, we had a bit of a chat and Aloysious has decided to stay here and clean the house and cook like he's paid to do. And you are going to let him. Or do I need to tell Fred that I have to stay at home so that I can keep on eye on you? The maternity witch told you to take it easy. Do you want to wind up in bed like Ginny?"

Percy cleared his throat. Wanting nothing more than to bolt from the room before their discussion turned into what passed for a row between the two of them. For any normal couple married six years a knock down, drag out, row should be routine every few weeks, but George and Penny were sickeningly compatible and agreeable with one another. It turned his stomach. "Well, Penny, maybe it would help if Jasper came away with me for a few weeks," he suggested for diversion. "I'll wager he's been bored here at home now that he's feeling better and that's why he's getting up to mischief. He's done a good bit out in the barn, already, and he can finish painting when we get back. If that's all right with you, I'd really like to have him with me."

"It's all right with me if it's all right with Penny," George said agreeably.

"I suppose I could use a Jasper holiday," Penny admitted with a heavy sigh. "He's such a handful. You go ahead and take him with you, Percy. I'll tell him he can go with you when he wakes up. But what about Rufus?"

"Rufus has to stay here." Percy was adamant.

"Jasper can't sleep without him," George informed.

"I can't sleep either." Percy shrugged. "We'll stay up all night together and listen to Phillipa snoring."

"How's the job hunt going, Perce?" George felt confident in needling his brother since he'd already confiscated Jasper's plate of eggs and vegetables for himself and was in no danger of going hungry.

"Shut-up," Percy replied. It had become a constant bone of contention between them. Since he was living rent-free in George's guest house, George felt that he had the right to torment him about being unemployed, and dependent on relatives for his livelihood.

"I think you'd do better on job interviews if you'd get your hair trimmed and wore something besides faded dungarees and sweatshirts. You might even consider shaving once in awhile," George jibed.

"What part of 'shut-up' didn't you understand, George?" Percy retaliated with a glare.

"I could get you something at Wheezes, you know." George poked relentlessly. An evil smile spread across his freckled face and Penny patted his head checking for horns. "Fred's in need of a new assistant."

"I'd rather work double time for Fudge and Dumbledore again," Percy grumbled while pouring himself a cup of tea. "What's happened to Fred's assistant? I thought you said she was so efficient?"

"Oh, she was. She is, I should say. She's had a better offer. I would have countered it if she'd come to me. I'd have offered her any compensation she wanted to stay. Alas, she wants Fred's heart and I can't give her that," George answered.

"Shame on Fred," was Penny's irate response. "He needs to grow up and quit treating his girlfriends like playthings."

"I agree with you, love," George placated her sweetly. "But, as we all know, I am the nicer twin."

"Where's she gone?" Percy asked. "Who offered for her?"

"She is the new Junior Assistant to the Minister of Magic himself, Neville Longbottom." George said with a smile.

Percy choked on his tea and George thumped him helpfully between his shoulders. "Nev--Nev-- Neville Longbottom is the Minister of Magic?" Percy rasped.

"Hufflepuff''s breast binder! Percy! Don't you ever read the paper anymore?" Penny asked him astounded. He'd always been such a news hound. She located her copy of the day's Dailey Prophet and handed it to him.

"Not if I can help it, sweetie," Percy responded taking the front page out of her hands. Growing older had made him lose his taste for bad news. "I'll be damned! Trapped in a foreign prison for a few years and the whole Wizarding world turned upside down in my absence. When I left on my mission eight years ago Ginny had just broken off her engagement with Longbottom and begun her unrequited lusting after Harry again. She told me that Neville's gran cowed him so much she didn't believe he'd ever amount to anything after all."

"Neville's gran kicked it," George offered up cheerily. "He took the inheritance she left him and used it to campaign for office last year. Fred and I endorsed him personally. He's a decent bloke. A good man for the job, fair and uncorrupt, but easy to manipulate. We were quite pleased when he won the election."

Percy couldn't believe his eyes. There on the front page of the Dailey Prophet, staring him right in the face was a waving picture of Neville Longbottom, Minister of Magic. He wasn't as plump as Percy remembered him. Actually in his custom tailored suit, and top hat, he looked fairly dashing.

"I wonder if Ginny regrets letting him go now," he pondered wickedly, and out loud.

"Only when Harry cheats on her," came George's unexpected reply.

"George!" Penny gave him a hard jab in the ribs and a very obvious "shut your mouth" eyebrow.

"What?" he asked her surprised. "Oh, come on, Penny. Oh, all right. Percy, don't ever let on that I told you that. No one is supposed to know." He looked back at Penny as if to say "Have I satisfied you now?"

"He cheats on Ginny!" Percy exclaimed. "And you're not supposed to know about it? But you do know? And you don't say anything? I'd kick his ass for him!"

"You would try," George shot back. "And Harry would wipe up the floor with you. Do you suppose he defeated the Dark Lord because he doesn't know how to fight back? Get real, Percy. Fred and I both might be able to take him, but we aren't about to try. He's the reason we're two of the wealthiest men in the country. Harry's our backer."

"I know he's a friend, George," Percy protested. "But Ginny is your sister! Where's your family loyalty?"

George took a swig of butter beer and studied Percy quietly for a moment before asking, "Have we come full circle, yet, Percy?"