No Longer Loving In Silence

Inside Flourish and Blotts, Harry, Mr. Burgess the manager, and another assistant Harry did not really know, were busy in preparation to close the store for the night. Harry worked quickly, chanted spells and gestured with his wand. The school textbooks that had been sorted according to their academic year earlier in the week stacked themselves into the bookshelves and boxes. The new system of selling the school textbooks was more efficient, but Harry felt as though he was overworking. He had been quite busy last night as Hogwarts' students had received their booklists, and today had been no exception.

A bell tinkled softly as someone entered the bookstore.

"I'm sorry but we're already closed," Harry heard Mr. Burgess announce grumpily.

"Yes, sir, I know, but the new books from J. Eddington have arrived," a female voice answered meekly.

"Oh, all right."

Harry concentrated on his task and placed Securing Charms on the bookshelves and boxes. He checked them for one last time before he headed for the counter. Mr. Burgess was conversing with the young witch at that time, but something made the somber manager turn. He saw Harry and nodded. The dark-haired man exited from the bookstore. Crowd in the Alley had not dwindled and Harry sighed before he joined the throng. As he had done every other night since he started to work for Mr. Burgess, he went to the joke shop.

"Harry!" Fred greeted cheerfully when he entered. His eyes widened slightly when his red-haired friend pushed him onto a couch without any warning. "Just sit there and wait for a while."

Harry, after a long day of standing, climbing ladders, as well as talking to customers, was grateful for a chance to rest his weary legs.

"By the way, Harry," George paused. He came over and placed a wrapped-up box on the counter. "Did you meet Malfoy?"

Harry sat up straight in his seat and looked around warily. "He's here?" The twins knew about his situation, not because he wanted them to, but because he could not stand Remus' persistent advising.

"George saw him inside the Leaky Cauldron – sometime during lunch hour, and then the Slytherin went off to Knockturn Alley," Fred said.

"Harry," George came forward, "Fred and I feel that you should come to The Burrow with us and stay for a couple of nights." His twin, Fred, nodded his head enthusiastically.

Harry was relaxed enough to give a weak chuckle. "How in Merlin's name can I rest in your house? It's not like I'm on holiday, you know."

"We can ask Ginny to hex you to sleep and then let her wake you up in the morning," Fred said slyly.

"Uh … thanks, but no thanks." He smiled and rose from the couch. "Anyway, I guess there is nothing to worry about. Draco doesn't know where Number Twelve is. I doubt he even knows how to get in."

"You might be right about that," Fred said thoughtfully. "Only a member of the Order can enter."

"But are the two of you absolutely certain?" George pestered.

Harry nodded in response. "So … where shall we go for dinner?"

"Since you asked, you're giving us a treat!"

"Hey! Do you think I'm a gold mine?"

"Not a mine, no, but a vault! You are, after all, one of our sponsors!"

"Yeah, right, but who is making the profit now?" Harry retorted, but he grinned anyway.

Thursday proved to be blissfully cool and calm. Severus was finally in the mood to mark his students' essays. He worked fast on the papers done by the first years as they were less detailed than their seniors were. He managed to mark the second and third years before lunchtime.

After his meal, he continued to check the essays done by the fourth years. When he noticed similarities on several separate papers, he put his quill down and read the rest before marking. A grim smile appeared on his face and he quickly sorted the stack of parchment. One of the sets he marked, but the others he simply chucked into the wastebasket under his desk. He reached out for his logbook, browsed for the correct page, and tapped his wand on some names. Under the section 'End of Term Essays', the word 'Plagiarism', appeared beside the selected students' name. Out of the fifteen delinquents, only one was a Slytherin. Severus memorized the witch's name well.

He was taking another break when the fireplace blazed suddenly, and Draco Malfoy slid out from it. Severus looked at his ex-student with an elegantly raised eyebrow.

"Harry. He was here, wasn't he?" Draco asked breathlessly and dusted his robes hurriedly.

"Draco. Why in Slytherin's name would he be here? In fact, I think you should know just how much Potter despises me," Severus said drily.

"No, sir. He was here. It's just that … I feel this presence of his," the young silver-haired wizard insisted.

"Draco, you're mad. Potter doesn't even know where I live. And why would he want to come here? Now, will you go away and get on with life? I'm trying to work here." Then Severus ignored Draco and looked down at the essay on his desk. He missed the triumphant glint in Draco's eyes just before the young wizard disappeared into the Floo fire.

Hours passed but Severus did not stop, even when his stomach growled loudly. He fiendishly worked on his papers, although his neck and back ached, and his eyes felt strained after subjecting them to his students' handwriting, some of which were horrendous. I wonder how I still have perfect eyesight after all these years being a teacher. The last one … thank Slytherin….

He squinted at the writing and then grumbled to himself. He started to cross out passages; they merely repeated the facts already written in the first paragraph. Merlin's beard, but why does this remind me of Harry?

At that instant, the quill between his fingers burst into flames. Severus swore vehemently and dropped the blazing quill. His fingers stung and they hurt even more when he wrapped them tightly around his wand. "Éteindre!" The fire was extinguished, and Severus resumed swearing. The burning quill had burnt a hole in his student's parchment and had scorched his desk before the fire was put out. "Damnation."

Severus transferred his wand to his other hand and headed for the bathroom. He turned the tap on, and soothed his burns with cold running water. He did not apply anything to his injuries, but instead walked around his house briskly and blocked the fireplaces with spells. After that, he put on his cloak, stepped out and secured the house. Severus was not really someone who followed intuition as closely as Trelawney, but he suddenly felt a strong urge to make sure that Harry was all right.

The Potions Master Apparated from his compounds, and seconds later, he reappeared in an empty back street. Severus waited for several minutes before he walked in the direction of what used to be the Order's Headquarters. Caution made him enter Number Twelve quietly. It was just as well that Harry had managed to obliterate the troublesome portraits. Stealth would have been impossible otherwise.

A triumphant shout startled him and he nearly knocked a huge vase over in his surprise. Severus held his breath, and entered the kitchen quietly. He did not know for how long he waited inside the chilly kitchen. Then he heard footsteps – whoever it was, moved briskly down the staircase. The stranger walked past the kitchen and continued down the hall. Severus peered around the doorway cautiously and felt his stomach churn.

It was Draco.

Harry….

Severus waited until he was certain that the other Slytherin had left the premises before he rushed up the staircase. He burst into each room he could find but there was no sign of the young, raven-haired wizard. Alarm and fear began to grip his heart.

"Harry!" he shouted as a last resort, and hoped that Harry would reply. He reentered Harry's bedroom and looked around wildly. Then he froze, and inhaled deeply. He cursed; the scent of semen hung thickly in the air and Severus chided himself for not smelling it earlier. A brief shadow caught his eye and he stared at the bathroom door.

He edged closer to the barrier but hesitated to open it. He took a deep breath and wore a blank expression before he turned the doorknob.

Harry was inside the bathroom, and it eased Severus' worries slightly. The wizard was still alive, at least. "Harry?" Severus stood in the doorway and waited for the young man to reply. However, Harry did not turn and simply stared into the rectangular mirror.

"Leave me alone," Harry said finally.

"I'm not going to leave, not when you're injured," Severus responded seriously. He went back into the bedroom and searched Harry's wardrobe for something to cover the naked wizard. When he returned, Harry was no longer staring at his reflection. Severus gulped at the fierce glare from the Gryffindor.

"Just leave, Snape. What's the point? He got what he wanted. It's too late for you to do anything."

Severus watched Harry calmly. "It's not too late for me to treat you."

"Damn it, Severus! Just get the hell out of my house! I don't need your help!"

He was ready for the force of magic that Harry always seemed to produce when he was angry, and hence, was not too affected by the blow. Severus recovered instantly, and wrapped the sleeping robe about Harry's form. It was at his touch that Harry began to cry, and the young wizard fell back against the wall.

"Why did you show him the way?" Harry asked. "Why did you tell him?"

Severus frowned. "I did not say anything to him, Harry." He watched as Harry sank to the floor and buried his face in his hands.

"Why didn't you stop him?"

Is he even listening? I did not tell Draco anything. Severus was at a loss. He knelt before Harry and uncertainly touched the wizard's shoulder. Harry lifted his face, and tears continued to stream down his cheeks. Severus took a sharp breath. They were the same eyes he had seen in his dream, but they were not filled with joy. Instead, accusation, bitterness and anger lurked in them.

"Do you hate me so much? Do you feel happy now? Are you satisfied that I let someone rape me?"

"Harry."

"Why do you hate me?" Harry whispered and bowed his head.

Severus was well and utterly shocked. "I didn't – I don't hate you," he said hoarsely. "Harry." He placed his hands firmly on the Gryffindor's shoulders. "Harry, I thought that Draco couldn't enter – he's not a member of the Order. And he couldn't have extracted the information from me, even if he knew how to use Legilimency."

To his ultimate horror, Harry started to cry again, but at least, this time, Harry had slumped forward and buried his face into Severus' chest.

"I can't bear it … but I can't bring myself to hurt him, even to defend myself," Harry mumbled against his chest.

He held on to Harry gently. His fingers stroked the wizard's hair, and Harry's sobs gradually came to a stop. "Then let me help you, Harry. We'll treat your injuries now, and tomorrow, we find Lupin and tell him what has happened. We'll decide what we should do about Draco then."

Harry pushed him away suddenly. His face bore an expression of alarm. "No – don't tell Remus. He swore he would kill Draco if he hurts me again! Severus, promise me. You'll keep this a secret from him!"

Severus scowled. "But –"

"I want your word on this!"

He gave in and nodded. "The potions I gave you – are they still here?"

"Yes. They're in that drawer." Harry pointed his chin at the furniture. "But there isn't much left in the bottles."

Severus looked thoughtfully at Harry. Perhaps I should go back and get new ones. But … do I take him with me? Will he be safe here? Harry's gasp of pain jolted him out of his reverie. Harry's fingers gripped his arm painfully, and Severus pulled away gently. He stared into the deep green eyes for a second before he parted the robe that he had draped over Harry's form. He winced when he saw the bite mark on Harry's collarbone and the multiple scratches on the chest. Even Harry's nipples were not spared from the onslaught.

"He is mad," he uttered dangerously. Fetching his potions could wait for several more minutes. At that moment, he wanted to clean Harry and rid of Draco's scent from his body. Severus helped Harry up to his feet and conjured a tall, cushioned stool for the younger man to sit.

A basin appeared in the sink and Severus filled it immediately with water. He searched for the bottle of sanitizing solution inside the drawer Harry had spoken of earlier. He examined the others and muttered under his breath. I need something stronger than the common healing paste. The bites on him are too serious to be treated with it. He shook his head disapprovingly, somewhat annoyed that Harry kept an inadequate first aid materials. Severus cleaned his hands quickly, and conjured a roll of smooth bandage.

The older man grimaced with each wipe, and did not bother to focus his eyes as he cleansed Harry's groin.

"You're not the one who is hurt, Severus," Harry said through gritted teeth. "So why do you flinch?"

The Potions Master glared at Harry from beneath his lashes. "If you must know, I don't like to watch people suffer."

"Oh, really?"

Severus straightened, and stood up slowly. Then he looked down at Harry with a feigned, concerned expression. "I think what you had to go through has made you unstable, Mister Potter. I don't see how anyone sane can fall apart one minute and try to be sarcastic at the next." Severus was certain his assessment was accurate when Harry's lips quirked into a smile.

"Do you want me to continue to scream and cry then?" Harry's voice was sad. "I am, inside. I can still feel his hands, his teeth, and his…" He trailed off and his eyes went distant.

Anger bubbled up inside Severus and he let it simmer. He was going to make Draco pay for his actions, somehow.

"Forget it, Severus," Harry said softly. "Please don't think about making him suffer as I did."

He felt somewhat offended by Harry's words. "I am not considering that alternative, Harry," he hissed, and was satisfied to see Harry's eyes widen after hearing the fury in his voice. "I am not that … despicable to do such … acts. I do not get pleasure by torturing people that way."

"I know. I just don't want to see you sink that low." Harry averted his eyes from Severus.

Uncomfortable silence filled the bathroom. Severus cleared his throat uneasily, and told Harry that he was going to fetch his potions. Harry's face went blank and it wrenched his heart to see the fear that tried to claw its way out from Harry's eyes. He saw the Gryffindor's fingers clench and unclench; they looked as though they wanted to grab hold on something and never let go, but did not want to at the same time. Harry nodded stiffly and stood up. Without speaking to Severus, he turned and left the bathroom.

Harry was cleaning his bed with a charm when Severus stepped into the bedroom. Soft cries reached his ears. He stopped behind Harry and clasped a shoulder tenderly.

"Don't prevent me from coming back, Harry. I will return with my potions in an hour. I promise."