The Slimmest, Wildest Chance

Reaching Out

"Ginny, you didn't!"

"You can keep saying that, but it'll still be true."

"But why - why would you do such a thing?"

"I don't know - because I'm stupid. Oh Hermione it was horrible - I just couldn't look at him, not even for a second."

Hermione stared at her and said, "But Ginny - why?"

"I don't know - I just...Hermione, I knew what he was going to say and I couldn't stand to hear it."

They were sitting opposite each other in the Great Hall, Ginny struggling to swallow her dinner, as Hermione fixed her with a beady eye. "What did you think he was going to say?"

Ginny flinched at her tone, and Hermione's face softened immediately, "Sorry Ginny. I'm not annoyed. I'm just, what could he say that would be so horrible? It's only Harry."

Ginny shot her an anguished look. " 'Only' Harry?"

"Ginny."

"Sorry, I just...Hermione I could see it in his face."

"See what, Ginny?"

"That...he doesn't feel...like that...about me."

Hermione sighed. "Ginny he does - you know he does."

Ginny lifted her chin defiantly. "Do I? How exactly - he's never said anything."

"Yeah, but..."

"Has he said anything to you?"

"Honestly, Ginny this is Harry we're talking about. Of course he hasn't said anything."

Ginny sat back in her seat, satisfied, and Hermione snapped, "Ginny that doesn't prove anything."

She had to blink back tears as Hermione said, "Look Ginny, I know that maybe it seems...but it can't go on like this. You two haven't even spoken in two weeks, and Harry's been depressed and..."

"Harry's been depressed?"

"Ginny are you blind? He hasn't laughed at all this week - and the other night when you ran away from him after Quidditch practise..."

"I didn't run away!"

"Oh really? Then why did you come racing in two minutes after it finished and hide up in your room all night?"

"Okay, maybe I did run away. What does it matter?"

"Do you know what he said to me?"

"What do you think - of course I don't."

"He sat down, glowered for a while, and then 'Why's Ginny so busy lately anyway?'"

"So?"

"So, Ginny - he misses you."

"What? No he doesn't."

"Ginny - he does, and I know you miss him."

This was too true to be denied, and Ginny said, "Well, what do you want me to do? He's probably really angry with me now anyway..."

Hermione looked uncomfortable and said, "I'm sure he isn't. Just talk to him."

Ginny shook her head, doubtful. "I'm not sure about but...I'll try. I can't eat any more; I'm going back to the tower. I'll see you later, okay."

Hermione nodded and Ginny trudged away, hugging herself.

Ever since New Year's Eve, Hermione had been trying to get her alone, and tonight she had finally given in. It was quite stupid really - now Ginny had to face the fact that she was miserable without Harry. No one made her laugh so easily - no one else ever seemed to understand the drift of her thoughts so well - and yet, lately things between them had been so strained and tense that she simply couldn't enjoy his company.

She had tried to have lunch with him a few days after The Kiss but it had been excruciating, and she had vowed never to attempt it again. Still, she did miss him. She missed him so much - if only she hadn't been so foolish. Before she had longed to kiss him, to sit close to him and touch him - to feel his hair against the hollow of her palm, the soft skin on the inside of his wrist, the hard muscles in his shoulders - but now she just wanted to sit with him and actually talk.

She spent most of the evening working on her charms homework and watching Harry through her eyelashes. It was torture. At last, Hermione and Ron went out on patrol, and after taking a few deep breaths, Ginny plucked up the courage to join him. His face wasn't exactly welcoming, and Ginny folded her hands in her lap to hide her nerves. "Harry," she said, "Could I talk to you for a second?"

He leaned back in his seat and have her a measuring look. "Okay - you can talk."

He was definitely angry. Ginny licked her lips. "I wanted to apologise..."

"What - again?"

She flushed horribly, but Harry looked almost pleased. "Yeah. I shouldn't...have, I mean, I'm sorry that I..."

"Kissed me."

"Harry!" Ginny couldn't keep the anguish from her voice - in an attempt to keep it steady, she looked at the table - anywhere but at him. She didn't see Harry look stricken as she continued. "I shouldn't have done that - I mean..." She let out a short laugh. "I know you don't fancy me Harry, and I didn't mean to, I just..."

Harry's hand on her arm interrupted her, and she looked to see his bright eyes boring into her.

"Ginny, hang on, you've got it all wrong..."

She didn't want him to reassure her with meaningless words. "Harry it's all right. I mean, we're friends, and that's fine, and please, don't be angry with me, I shouldn't have stopped speaking to you but I was embarrassed and I'm really sorry."

Ginny was appalled to discover that she was crying; and even more appalled when Harry seized her in a hug. She couldn't remember Harry ever hugging any one. She nestled her head in the crook of his neck, and he was holding her so tight that she felt another wave of longing - if only Harry felt even a quarter for her of what she felt for him.

And then she felt it - a ghost, a whisper of a touch against her hair. As she moved to lean her head on his shoulder, she could have sworn she felt it again, half on her ear. One of Harry's hands had found it's way around her waist, and she felt his fingers slip through hers, so much bigger than her own. It was a minute before she could venture to say, "Harry - are we all right?"

"Sort of, but - Ginny..." His voice trailed off.

"Yeah."

"You're not...you've got the wrong idea." He was staring determinedly out the window.

"Yeah?"

"You really think that..."

Ginny felt that she was on the verge of hearing something important, and she trembled. Was Harry going to...was he going to say...

Professor McGonagall came through the portrait hole. "Potter," she said, "Professor Dumbledore needs to see you." Harry hesitated and she added, "Now, Potter." Her voice had the crack of a whip.

Harry stood up, his hand slipping out of Ginny's. As he walked away Ginny said, "Harry - I'll tell Ron and Hermione and...we'll wait for you."

He put his hands in his pockets and looked at her intently. "You don't have to."

"I want to, Harry."

"Okay then."

"Potter - we haven't the time!"

Professor McGonagall might have seemed angry, but Ginny could see the strain in her eyes. Harry nodded and said, "I'll see you when I get back, Ginny?"

"Yeah. Good luck."