The Pounding Rain

The Pounding Rain
Chapter Three
Waiting

I watch you stand there, waiting
Something you know will happen
It's just around the corner
And it's terrible, but you aren't afraid

"Let's go find Cho."

The words tumbled out of my mouth icily, and yet rushed, as though finding Cho were the most important thing to do and there wasn't any time left. A sense of hurry washed over me, and in a sudden desperate action, I grabbed Harry's wrist. We practically flew through the castle corridors. I probably seemed like a madwoman, dragging Harry through the halls as though fleeing from a monster. And as I ran, I tried not to think. If I thought about what I was doing and where I was really going, then I'd never be able to help Harry.

When I saw her, I halted as abruptly as I had started running. There she was, laughing and talking with her friends as she exited the Great Hall. A wave of emotion made my blood run cold and my feet feel as heavy as lead, although I swayed nauseously as though the wave would force me down. I glanced at Harry out of the corner of my eye; he stared ahead silently, nervously. My heart skipped a beat as I realized I was still holding his hand, and I lurched away as though he'd burned me. If he even noticed, he showed no sign of it. His eyes were on Cho as he hesitated. Then, he swerved on his heel and started to walk away. "I'm not doing it," he mumbled.

The wave a cool dread evaporated, replaced by burning rage. "Where do you think you're going?" I demanded furiously, stopping him in his tracks. I'm putting so much effort into this, and now you're chickening out? I don't think so. "Go! Talk to her and be happy. You deserve as much. You'd probably be surprised at just how much words can do." I glared at him. Pivoting on his heel, he turned back to face me. "Please go," I pleaded, quietly, once more sad and defeated. "If you want anything to do with Cho, go to her now, while you still might have a chance." The back of my eyes stung as tears weld up, and I looked away.

"But Ginny, I don't - "

"Go!" I choked out, trying to fight tears. God, this is too hard. If I can't take this much, how can I possibly bear to see them together? Oh, but I have... so many times. I can handle it. Why is this so hard?

He didn't move, just took a deep breath and continued staring at the back of my head. "Are you sure that this will even work?"

Does he sound hopeful or nervous? There's something there I can't quite place... what does he want and why does he torture me like this?

I closed my eyes. A single tear raced down my cheek. "Yes." It has to.

And then, I turned, and watched him take his fateful steps towards Cho. The world seemed to stand still as Harry made his way down the corridor. His footsteps echoed in my head. I felt numb with grief. I'd had Harry for a few brief moments, and for even that short amount of time it had only been the two of us. Now it would be Harry and Cho. I felt like I was losing something that hadn't even been mine in the first place, but it was killing me.

'Except you're doing the right thing.'

For once, I agreed with that annoying little voice. The logical part of my mind knew it was right. It should not have been this hard, but as my eyes followed Harry down the corridor towards Cho, my heart shattered into pieces.

He reached her. Time to say 'Hello'.

"Hey, Cho," he greeted as he passed her. Nervous. Hesitant. But maybe Cho won't notice or think it's about her... "How are you?" There it is! Harry was calm. No outside tick gave him away. How can he put up such a mask so easily? Why hadn't he done it before?

Cho didn't hide her shock, but she got over it in a second and smiled. "Hello, Harry. Good to see you're doing better."

He forced his own smile. Cho's comment should have touched some inner emotion, should have flicked some switch. If it bothered him, he didn't show it. Instead, he looked back at me.

I tried to smile back to him, because at that moment I knew it would work and all Harry needed was encouragement. Harry would be happy. And everything would be fine.

But I didn't feel it. I finally knew that Harry would be happy for certain, and yet I was not in any way content. I could only help but wonder, What about me and my own happiness?

})({

Later, during dinner, I sat by myself at the table, alone once more. Hermione and Ron were late and Harry was nowhere in sight. I ate silently, occasionally listening to the hum of the voices around me. No one talked to me, but I was fine with that.

Then, as I lifted a spoonful of soup to my mouth, Seamus Finnigan caught my attention.

"I've got inside sources. Did you hear about another attack?"

I dropped my spoon, soup splashing all over the table and my robes. He was talking about You-Know-Who! And it was then I realized that ever since I started helping Harry, I'd forgotten about the one problem everybody shared.

"No..." whimpered a younger boy. "Do you mean that You-Know-Who... he... attacked?"

Seamus nodded from across the table. "This time it was in Germany. Experts are trying to find a pattern in his attacks. He's killing more and more Muggles everyday. It's a mad rampage! And he gets more power everyday."

"B-but... how?"

Seamus looked around. A few other students had overheard him and their end of the table had gone silent. "Some say that he's feeding off of fear."

The younger wizard peered up at him with wide eyes. "No..."

"Yes," Seamus answered mournfully, "and he doesn't care if Muggles know about wizards. In fact, he wants them to know about us!"

The younger boy was named Isaac Paterick, and most Gryffindors knew that his parents were extremely prejudiced against Muggles, mostly because they dreaded them. No doubt, Isaac was afraid of them, too. More than half of the Wizarding World were paranoid about what would happen if Muggles ever found out about them - and they had reason to be. Although Muggles were generally harmless, if they grouped together out of their own fright of wizards... well, wizards did not need a fight between Muggles and You-Know-Who.

I could see Isaac squirming in his seat nervously.

"Seamus," I interjected, "you might want to stop." I looked from Isaac to Seamus and back to Isaac.

"Come on, Ginny, he deserves to know what's happening in the world."

"Yes, but you're scaring him. A person can only take so much," I shot back at him. "Let him alone." Then, I turned to Isaac. "Don't worry, Seamus is just making things up. Your parents are safe, you're safe, and Professor Dumbledore won't let anyone harm you. You're safe at Hogwarts."

The boy relaxed in his chair a little.

I went back to my dinner as idle chatter began about Quidditch. Isaac left not long after.

Voldemort is getting closer and closer to England.

I bit my lip nervously, finished my dinner, and headed straight to the Gryffindor Common Room. I needed to sort things out.

})({

"Hermione!" I shouted, running down from my dormitories to the common room. She glanced up from her book, startled.

"Yes?" she queried, closing the book upon seeing my urgent face.

"Have you, by any chance, seen a news paper laying around?"

"What? Like the Daily Prophet? I've seen a bunch of them scattered about... why?"

"No, no, not the Prophet," I corrected, collapsing into a chair in a flurry of panic. "A different once..."

But Hermione shook her head. "Sorry, Ginny. Why are you asking?"

My heart sank in utter disappointment. "Not good..." I whispered to myself. My hands were shaking. "Not good..."

"Ginny," Hermione insisted, "What's wrong? You can tell me."

I gazed up at her in terror. Rocking back and forth in my chair, I said, "It's really complicated."

She frowned and sat up. "Not anything like...?"

"No," I spat. "No. Not like first year."

"Okay," she said gently. "Then Harry and Cho?"

"Unfortunately, nothing so simple..." I said vaguely. I bit my lip.

Worry finally contorted her own face. "Then what, Ginny? Please, tell me what's got you so worked up."

I gulped, as if trying to swallow my own fear and get a hold over my emotions. I searched my mind for the right words, anything to make it sound nicer or easier to say. Nothing came to mind. "You-Know-Who."

Her eyes darkened and she gripped the edge of the table. "What about him?" she whispered, voice suddenly raspy and thin.

"I was... keeping track of where he was," I tried to explain. I clasped my hands together, finding that they were cold and clammy.

Eyes widening, she gasped, "How?"

"I had access to the right newspapers," I told her, "as Dad is in the Ministry. More like a newsletter sent to Ministry members... but that's not important. I just... made sure to check the newspapers every day. I've only been doing this since a little after Halloween. He made his first attack in Hong-Kong, China. No one ever found out how he got there, exactly, but now he's heading west and gathering followers as he goes. He has armies everywhere now!" I cried. I slumped in my chair.

"But... there's something else," she realized. Her face was eager for more information, but at the same time it was reluctant. She didn't want to hear that she might be attacked tomorrow, didn't want to feel the horror at the words, but she needed to know what might help her.

"That week after the Quidditch game - you know, the one with the Snitch coming to me and what not - I lost track. That whole week I missed the newspaper! I didn't really notice that I wasn't getting them, but I wasn't. Someone probably stole them, or else the newspaper company made a mistake in delivering. But I think it's most likely the first."

Hermione held her breath, eyes blazing with curiosity and puzzlement as she tried to figure ou what was going on. "Who, do you think, stole them?"

"Seamus," I answered. "Seamus knew where he was."

"Seamus?" she repeated. "What - why would he - how?"

"I don't know!" I wailed. "He shouldn't know! Unless he was also subscribed to the newspaper, but how could he be? And the newspaper wasn't public! He had to have stolen them."

"Is that so bad?" she wondered aloud. "Doesn't everyone have the right to know?"

I sighed. "Yes." I glared down at the table in front of me. "Yes, they do. It wouldn't have been hard for them to figure it out themselves. But Seamus... I've seen him everywhere I went. He couldn't have stolen them!" I realized. "He never saw me with the paper. No one did; they were all privately sent to me and I always received them in my dormitory while everyone else was sleeping. Even if they did see the owl come at night, though, they wouldn't have been able to see what the letter was."

"Are you sure no one saw you? Was there ever a time when you might've left it somewhere accidentally?"

"No..." I paused, thought it over. "Whenever I was done reading them, I'd come down stairs and burn them in the fireplace. It was so late, no one was ever in the common room."

"Ever?"

I went over the past few nights in my head. Well... there was that one night... "Once, I came downstairs and someone was still working on their homework, but they looked asleep. Who was it...? Harry! It was Harry!"

"What was me?"

Hermione and I jumped in our seats. We'd been so caught up in the conversation that we hadn't noticed Harry approach the table. I sighed, running a hand through my hair. Why can't I have a normal life?

Hermione cut straight to the chase. "Harry, did you see Ginny throw a newspaper in the fire place?"

He seemed confused at first, but then understanding dawned on him. "Yes, awhile ago. It was... really late, and I was finishing my History of Magic essay. Naturally, I'd fallen asleep over it, but someone's footsteps woke me up. I saw Ginny standing by the fireplace, about to throw something into it, when all of a sudden she jumped, as though - "

"I felt someone's eyes on me," I explained, "and panicked, because I thought someone else was in the room watching me. I thought you were asleep."

"And then she dropped the paper and ran upstairs." He sat down in the chair next to me.

"I missed the fireplace, didn't I?"

Harry nodded, pushing his glasses up his nose. He fidgeted in his chair.

"Wait a second," Hermione said slowly, "Harry!" She seemed aghast. "You intercepted those newsletters! Why - why would you do that? Those were Ginny's!"

"And she was holding back information about Voldemort!" he yelled suddenly, then lowered his voice as the people close to them swiveled to hear their conversation. "That wasn't fair. She could have told us."

Hermione frowned. "I suppose now isn't the time for should haves. Where is You-Know-Who?"

"Hamburg," he answered, giving up and slouching.

"Wait..." I interjected. "He can't be in Hamburg! When I lost track of him, he was in Istanbul!"

"The last attack was in Hamburg," Harry repeated.

Hermione was pale and frozen. Her eyes were a storm of fear and panic. Harry's were just closed.

"He's gaining speed," I warned. "It took him sixth months to go from Hong-Kong to Istanbul. Yet in a week he travels a fourth of that distance! I lose track and he gains."

"That's not the worst of it," Harry said darkly. "He awakened Dracula, somehow."

"Dracula!" Hermione exclaimed. "But he's dead! Or whatever it is you call a vampire that's destroyed."

"Among other enemies," Harry muttered. "And apparently, Voldemort has the power to resurrect - or whatever it is you would use for vampires - them."

"No..." I whimpered. "No. If he can go from Istanbul to Hamburg in a little over a week, he could be here in just less than that! Hamburg to Scotland isn't as far. And Dracula... This isn't fair. Now you're going to tell me he's somehow managed to resurrect Grindelwald, too?"

"He wouldn't do that," Hermione argued, "because Grindelwald wouldn't fight for him."

There was silence for a while as the information soaked in. The hum of conversation around us seemed loud and obnoxious. My heard was racing and my head was pounding. Oh, God.

"I'm going to go after him," Harry declared. His face was shadowed with grief, fear, misery, but most of all hatred. "I'm not going to let him do worse."

"You can't!" I tried to tell him, but I knew that Harry would be able to defeat You-Know-Who. Just not now... "Harry, you're not ready."

"We're only three students - four when we tell Ron." Harry and I looked at her. "And we are telling Ron, because he deserves to know. Between the four of us, what can we do to stop You-Know-Who? We need to tell the teachers."

I closed my eyes and breathed. In and out. In and out. It was necessary to calm down. "No, Harry can stop him. Just... I don't want to..."

Harry sighed exasperatedly. "Let me go, then."

"We're not going to have you get yourself killed!" Hermione disagreed, "And we're not going to let you go."

"Harry's the only person You-Know-Who ever showed weakness against besides Dumbledore," I said. "And we have Dumbledore. Harry, you can't go."

"Voldemort will come after me anyway," he reasoned, "so I might as well go. I can fend for myself."

"You're only in sixth year!" Hermione argued. Hermione and I were at a loss. We knew that neither of us could stop Harry from leaving, but we hoped we might be able to stall him. Dumbledore might convince Harry to stay...

"Why don't we go to Dumbledore?"

They seemed surprised at this idea. When had they ever gone to Dumbledore before? It wasn't too late to try, and I told them so.

"But..."

"Hermione," I persisted, "Maybe Dumbledore will have some ideas of what to do."

Harry stood up and towered above us. "I'll go looking for him now if you're going to try to stop me later..."

"Harry Potter," I yelled, standing up beside him and glaring. "If you think for one moment that we are going to let you go and nearly get yourself killed, then you are greatly mistaken! We'll Body Bind you if we have to!" Hermione raised her wand just in case. "Honestly! You-Know-Who is in Hamburg right now anyway, so you wouldn't be able to do much. It's not like you can Apparate!"

"But I can't just stand around here and wait!" He shouted back. People were staring, but we were too angry to notice.

"This is all happening too fast," Hermione blurted, whispering something under her breath.

"Do you think it's any easier to watch you head towards inevitable doom?" I glared at him, and to my surprise he sat back down. "Here's what we do," I started, taking authority which was so entirely unlike me. "I know some spells that might help us - extra studying. But it was needed. So I can help you. I can help you protect everyone from You-Know-Who."

"We need to tell people," Hermione suggested. "They deserve to know. I'll tell Dumbledore..."

"Good, good. Okay..." I sat back down and stared unseeingly around the room. "And Ron if you see him."

The minute I'd finished speaking, Hermione had stood and disappeared from the room. The rest of the Gryffindors seemed to have lost interest or were otherwise caught up in their own worlds. I was left alone with Harry now. And all I could do was disintegrate into a mess of tears. I can't handle this pressure...

"I can't do this," I said aloud, "I can't. Can't do the thing with Cho... and You-Know-Who... not to mention my schoolwork! Well, that might not matter... but it's just too much to bear. I'm only fifteen! This really isn't right! None of this is right!"

I sobbed hard for a long time. Tears flooded my face like a storm, like a hurricane of fear, anger, sadness, and defeat. Harry sat there watching me. God, I'm making such a fool of myself right now, crying my eyes out. I'm really am the Weasley's little baby girl. Why hasn't he left yet?

I sniffled. "Why are you still here? Shouldn't you be telling Cho or something?" It was a harsh comment to make, but for once I didn't care. My life was just one hurdle after another, and each time they got higher and higher and I didn't think this time I'd be able to leap safely over it.

And I was afraid to fall.

"Cho?" He hesitated. "I have more important things to worry about than Cho."

My hair curtained my face, but I peered through it to look at Harry. "W-what happened with Cho?" I dared to ask.

"Absolutely nothing," he replied, half-smiling.

I felt a pang of anger, but at the moment I felt too defeated to yell. "But I... I meant well, I mean... why didn't you...?"

"Cho was right," he admitted, "and I never really loved her." He sighed.

"But I - I went to all that trouble," I started.

"You know," he said, "you didn't do that much."

A few bubbles of laughter left me. "Um, I suppose not, no." I pushed my hair out of my face.

"So, my friend," he continued, trying to lighten the mood, "What now?"

I was about to answer when I stopped. "Friend?"

"Yes..." he replied. "What did you think?"

I wondered if he noticed the corner of my mouth turn slightly upwards. But it was only for a brief second. "That, well, I'm only your best friend's little sister."

"Nah," he answered, waving his hand, "Don't be silly. You're a friend! You're doing something so nice for me, and I don't think I deserve it. I've been so rude to you lately."

"No, I wouldn't say - "

"You didn't, I did. Listen," he consoled, "I may not have paid attention to you in the past, and I'm sorry for that. But I'm here as a friend now." He paused, and his emerald eyes darkened. "You're the only person I know who has ever really come face to face with Voldemort, too, and lived."

"Harry," I struggled to say. I knew where he was going, and that was not a walk I wished to take down memory lane. "Don't."

"I'm sorry," he whispered. His voice, though so quiet, seemed to strike chords in my heart. I swallowed nervously. "But if you ever want to talk about it..."

I shook my head, but my heart skipped a beat. He... he wants to talk to me? But... why now?

"Okay." He put his hand on my shoulder. "Are you okay? Cheer up."

"Thanks," I sniffled. "I'm fine. Now." I wiped my eyes and sat up a little.

"No problem." He forced a smile. "We have a week for fun before Vol--You-Know-Who comes. Let's not waste it crying and worrying. We'll cross that bridge when we come to it. Now, what do you say we play a game of chess?"

I smiled, surprised that I could when I felt so depressed. My tears stopped. "You know, I'm not as good as Ron is. He'd make a better opponent."

"What?" he laughed. "I know how good he is! That's entirely the reason I'd rather play you. It might be good to win for once."

"Well," I teased back, "just become I'm not as good as Ron doesn't mean I'm entirely terrible. I am his little sister, and he's taught me a thing or two."

"What's going on?" Ron had joined them at the table.

"Harry challenged me to a chess match," I explained. "He thinks he's going to win."

Ron snorted. "Now, no offense Harry, but I think even Fred and George could beat you in chess."

"I'm not that bad!" he protested.

Ron winked at me, "He is. Besides, with me as a teacher, how could you do bad?"

"Well then, let's see if Ron makes a better teacher than a student!" I exclaimed. Ron glared at her before he burst out laughing.

"You sound like Hermione!" he noted, "Speaking of her, where did she go?"

Harry and I exchanged glances. "To see Professor Dumbledore. You could probably catch up with her; she left a few minutes ago."

Ron left, and Harry and I went to get our chess sets. We spent the evening playing it, and as it turned out, I wasn't half bad. Besides, who cares if I do end up losing? It's Harry, and despite the startling realization of You-Know-Who's whereabouts, it was one of the best evenings of my life. For the first time, I felt like I was connecting with him, like I was becoming a part of his life, like I was becoming someone important. That was a step up, definitely. Letting out a shaky sigh, I actually realized what Harry had said. 'Cho was right. I never really loved her.' Could Harry fall in love with me? No, that's just wishful thinking. He just thinks of me as a friend. That's better than nothing. And even though I knew that Harry would never love me, and I would never be with him, my heart would not give my mind power this time. And it was so much easier this time to relax around Harry. We spent the evening playing chess, and for the first time, I felt relieved and happy. I felt good; I felt loved.