The Extremely Secret Secrets of a Malfoy

Dear diary,

Day fifteen? Something like that. I've lost track. I don't even know what day it is. Monday?

I did go for a swim, and I got out the raft, as well - I made a raft to dive from, I hook it to the bottom of the lake and jump from it. I'm a good diver. I have just been swimming now, too. Its now gloriously sunny and I am drying out on the bank, probably burning. I don't like the sun much, prefer winter. Snow, icicles, muggle carollers to taunt and Christmas. I love Christmas, all warm fires and Father Christmas. Not that I let it show, that's stupid soppy rubbish. I'll have to wash my hair again, it looks dreadful all tousled from the water. I think so, at least.

I played catch with the grindylows at the bottom of the lake - Father used to go grindylow hunting, apparently, but there are only about four of them left, so I don't bother. They got me, this time; usually I can outswim them.

I went skinny dipping yesterday, as its a private lake on private grounds and I'm not likely to be observed, but I had very panicked thoughts about certain mudbloods wandering around where they shouldn't be, and so now I am wearing my most respectable and totally covering shorts. I think I'll go and sit in my tree when I'm dried, and carry on writing this. You know, I'm quite sure I'd be gibbering in St Mungo's next to the Longbottoms if I didn't have this diary. That is too pathetic for words. It's only friendless loners and silly girls that have diaries. Oh well...

Anyway, here I am in my tree, and it's very quiet, apart from the general rustling of the trees. I could easily fall asleep... will write more if more happens.

More did happen; I met The Mudblood. On the way back to the house, she was skulking about in the trees, spying on me, probably because she was bored. She ran for it when I spotted her, giggling madly. I sent a hex after her but it missed. Then she tripped and I hit her with the first curse I could think of. Which happened to be the tickling charm. I caught up with her just as she managed to get her wand out and risk the counter-curse.

"Can't you take a hint?" I asked politely. Well, I say 'politely' - I mean furiously.

"Nope." She stuck her tongue out, still sprawled on the grass.

"Do you want to get kicked out? Because that can be arranged in about three seconds."

"Not really." For a minute I just looked at her, seething. She just grinned, utterly unfazed by the whole lying-on-floor-with-irate-Malfoy-glaring-at-her-with-intent-to-kill thing. We just stared at each other for ages, in total hatred, of course. Then she legged it, grinning.

She has quite nice eyes.

Day 16. Sixteen out of about forty-two. Bugger the holidays. Um... what have I done so far today? Got up. Got dressed. Eaten an extraordinary amount at breakfast. Gone upstairs. Moped. Read. Eaten lunch. Sat down to write this. Fun.

I'm going out.

Uh. Going out was, er... interesting. I should have just stayed in bed this morning.

I went out and sat on my tree. It was all peaceful and depressing and very, very dull. Until a sheet of parchment floated lazily past the branch I was sitting on, from places above unknown. I snatched it out of the air and read it - or at least tried to. It was in French. As soon as I realised this, (it took me a second) I leapt up. There on the branch above me, biting her hand to stop herself laughing, was that damned mudblood. We looked at each other for a second, me fuming. Then she leapt away.

"I thought I told you to keep off the estate!" I yelled.

"I ignored you," she shouted, laughing. I pulled myself up and jumped after her. She was laughing hysterically. I wasn't. She got up as far as great uncle Veritus's branch (never was there a more ironic name - he was a liar, a triple-or-quadruple-crosser and a spy for Grindelwald), but she got stuck, she couldn't get to the branch below and the one above is really hard to get to. I pulled her back and she was laughing hysterically, but I shook her hard.

"I told you too get off!" she looked slightly frightened, and I felt vaguely guilty until I remembered she was a mudblood. "This isn't a game! This is the Malfoy family tree!" she began sniggering uncontrollably, so I let go and wiped my hand. "The tree is the protector of the Malfoy estate. If this tree dies, the manor falls. When the last descendant of the Malfoys dies, it dies. That's what it is. The family tree. Okay?" the mudblood was frowning and rubbing her arm. I was very glad to see the scarlet finger marks.

"That's going to bruise. God knows what mum is going to think."

"Do I look like I care?"

"No. I didn't think you did. Is it really the protector of the estate?"

"No, I said that because it is totally untrue and I felt like lying for the sake of it. Get off. Now." glared down at her. "Now."

"Okay, I will. But am I really bothering you?"

"Yes!"

"Listen, I don't really want to be enemies with you. Can't we be friends?"

"What are you missing, mudblood? Your stupidity is not helping me think any better of muggleborns! Get out of my tree!"

"Hang on," she said, stepping onto the branch I was on, which was quite small and consequently put her far closer than I would have liked. She leaned forward, even closer. I ended up staring into those ugly, common, dull and totally unpleasant brown eyes. Until they rather unexpectedly closed, and she rather unexpectedly kissed me.

"I really really like you you, you know," she said, "which is mad, because you are a complete arsehole, and not only that, I've been warned not to come near you, you'll be dangerous. And you don't like me; in fact you think I'm filth and scum and a half-sheep. And you just really hurt me. It's insane, and totally wrong. I think I might be a masochist. But at least you're fairly attractive." And then she walked off!

I swear on my life that's what happened. Well, I mean, I don't really have to swear on it, because it would be totally pointless to lie to a diary. And I don't do totally pointless things.

But...the thing is...I think she is really pretty and...well...its still not right...but I guess...I didn't mind so much her kissing me...but she - its not right...muggleborns are scum. It's just gross. I think I must just be in shock...

I'm attractive...

I have been sitting here for a long while, and I have analysed it from all angles, and I have come to a sensible conclusion. I am a teenager. I'm bloody sixteen. And she is, physically, a girl. And she is also pretty. With a great body. So it is not so impossible that I am attracted to her. But it's just - lust. I can't help it, because, like she said, she isn't physically any different. She is in essence a lower and lesser being, though, and therefore the fact that I might possibly fancy her a little bit back doesn't matter. I don't want to have anything to do with her. Whatsoever.

Perhaps that was the idea...to tempt me, I mean, so she could say all that stuff and I'd believe her. But it won't work. Dirty slut.