Coeur Pur

Albus Dumbledore had always struck Sirius as a humble and kind person and that impression seemed truer now that he was standing in a deserted corridor, looking into his friendly blue eyes, than it ever had. The slowly ageing man had started to develop streaks of grey in his otherwise auburn shoulder length hair.

"Professor," said Sirius.

"Mr. Black. Would you care to join me for a walk around the grounds?"

Sirius nodded and in silence followed the Headmaster out of the castle. It was starting to get dark outside, but the temperature was still warm enough for you to go out without a coat on. As they were half-way down to the lake, Dumbledore turned to Sirius and said, "It's an unfortunate situation you're in."

Sirius made a low laugh and answered, "I guess you could say that."

"You should know that I've had several conversations with your brother, as well as your parents, and they all regret the fact that you feel the way you do about them. Regulus, I've noticed, is especially sorry. He regrets saying those things to you the night before you left."

"I find it hard to believe that he would say such a thing," Sirius said calmly.

"Such things don't necessarily have to be spoken aloud," Dumbledore replied, smiling shrewdly.

They had reached the lake now; its surface was black and completely still, the dark sky reflecting itself upon it.

"Professor, do you think I'm doing the right thing?" Sirius asked carefully. He felt that a man as wise as Dumbledore must have a good answer to his question whether he was making a correct decision or whether he was in fact just going mad. Dumbledore considered his question for a moment, and then took a halt, peering at something on the other side of the lake.

"I think it's safe to say that if a person is unhappy, the most natural thing for him is to try and make himself happy. I believe that if you feel this is what's best for you - if this is what your heart has told you to do - then of course you should go and do it. The heart always knows what is best for the rest of the being," Dumbledore answered sensibly.

"That's very wise, sir," said Sirius with relief. Dumbledore smiled.

"It is not wisdom I possess - as many seem to believe - only a talent to see the obvious."

"It's just that every time I speak to people about it, they always try to convince me that I'm wrong. Remus is taking it especially hard; he seems to think it's something personal. Since all he ever wanted was a family, he either can't or won't understand how it's possible for me to feel such resentment towards mine. But I mean, every situation is different, right? It's not okay for him to judge my circumstances from his own point of view, is it?"

"I agree completely. And what about your other friend, James?"

"Actually, Sir, James has been surprisingly cool about it. Normally, he has opinions about everything, but he hasn't really said much lately. I can see it in his eyes sometimes, though. It's almost as if he's disappointed in me, or... I don't know. I just get the feeling that everywhere I go, people are judging me about something they can't even comprehend. It tares me apart."

"Being young is - I've learned - much about being or feeling misunderstood. The important thing when it comes to prejudices is that you remember which means most to you - your personal health or people's opinion about you. And once you've learned how to do that, you will begin to notice that you no longer care about what people say about you. And a lot of times, you'll realize that it was all in your head."

"How do you mean, sir?"

"Often we are certain that a person is thinking demeaning thoughts about us, when they really aren't. It is only our low confidence in ourselves that is reflected in their eyes."

"That sounds reasonable. I can't really claim my self-confidence is the greatest. It has never gotten the chance to become any higher than it is; it seems someone or something is always there to kick me down into the dirt again."

"Is that so?"

"Yeah. I don't want you to think I pity myself, because I don't. I don't blame my family for turning me into the person I am. I know that only I have the power change myself and therefore I can only blame myself."

"But what is there to blame you for? You are no bad person. In fact, you are a fine and adventurous person with a good soul and a pure heart, only you haven't had a chance to let the world know since you've been living in a place that you despise. Even the greatest person will seem foul and mean, if he is living under the worst sort of circumstances. I am more than sure that once you have found your place in this world - a place where you feel happy and secure - you will be known for your loving and caring personality. People will hear your name and be filled with a joyful warmth. You will become a great wizard, Sirius. Be sure of it."

Sirius felt his cheeks grow red, as blood streamed up to his face. Dumbledore was such a nice man and every word he spoke seemed to be the truth. Sirius wanted to believe that he was right - it all sounded so good. Most of all, he wanted other people to hear him speak these words, he wanted them to realize how wrongly and unfair they had treated him.

"I - thank you so much, sir. I don't know what to say."

Dumbledore smiled.

"Perhaps it is best if we go back now. It's almost dark. And I am sure that your friends are waiting for you."

As they turned and began to walk towards the castle, Sirius couldn't help but to smile. Dumbledore had given him hope. Maybe things would get better from now on? He wished for it. He knew that Mr. and Mrs. Potter would let him stay with them as long as he needed, but he had already decided to try and get his own place as soon as possible. It wouldn't feel right to ask more of them than necessary, since they had already done more than enough.

He silently wished that Remus would come around, because once he did, he would be of great support and help to him. James was always going to be there for him - he always had. And Peter had too much to thank him for not to help him if he needed.

"I'm going to manage," Sirius thought to himself, but it was more of a wish than a statement.

"Do you think I'm going to be okay, sir?" he asked Dumbledore.

"I think you will do just fine. Don't you worry."