Ask Padfoot

Just because he was tired of stealing Moony's column and for the request of his dear fans here is Sirius':

Ask Padfoot

Dear Padfoot,

How can I get this guy to go away and leave me the H*** alone, he keeps calling me a hoe, a yugiho to be exact. Please help me Padfoot and I don't want no cheesy crap about don' t let it bother you!

Snow white Hyatt

Dear Snow white Hyatt,

Start calling him names back like a Jello-Killing, Styrofoam Cup. And if that doesn't help, do the "Cha" dance. It really freaks people out and they don't want to come around you anymore.

!Padfoot!

Dear Padfoot,

I just wanted to know your animagus is a dog. Did you do it to get closer to Moony? :: hint, hint: ^_^ Just playin! Just wanna know! ^_~

Vicky Lumpin

Dear Vicky Lumpin,

What?!?! I don't even know what an anima... animag.. animagus is! Wait! That is one those things that you turn into, right??!?!? No, I would never do anything to get closer to Moony. Ewww.

P.S. Are you like cousins with Moony or something?

!Padfoot!

Dear Padfoot,

Not to be a wet blanket, but fanfics can't be interactive. Sorry! You could make them up though.

Cracking

Dear Cracking,

I... OWWW! (Sirius is shoved out of the way by Etyana) I totally get what you are saying, but I feel that this is a FanFic in itself. I think that it gives the reviewers a chance to be creative about different plots for the HP characters. They can also build off of other reviewers' ideas. So I get what you are saying but look at this as and opportunity for people to get the brain warmed up and to give them ideas for their own fanfics .

Etyana

Dear Padfoot,

Did you ever notice Pettigrew being different when you were at Hogwarts? * starts cusing some nonsense * Sorry, I really DO NOT like Wormtail/Pettigrew.

DreamOnForever

Dear DreamOnForever,

Yeah, he is kinda weird and keeps to himself all the time but HAY! You gotta love him!! I'm really sorry that you don't like him. Are you in the Slytherins' House or are you a House Elf?

!Padfoot!

Dear Padfoot,

Did it ever occur to you that you're a fictional creation, idolized in books, about to star in a possibly bad movie, have been the subject of millions of bad stories, and are constantly paired with Remus Lupin? Just wondering.

-Abby

Dear Abby,

No.

!Padfoot!

Dear Padfoot,

Jello ... Jello ... Jello ... Jello ... Jello ... JELLO!

-Jello Freak

Dear Jello Freak,

Do you love Jello too? Will you be my friend?

!Padfoot!

Dear Sirius,

Are we there yet?

-PurpleOne

Dear PurpleOne,

Where?

!Padfoot!

Dear Padfoot,

I'm bored!

-3^rd Year

Dear 3^rd Year,

Me too!

!Padfoot!

Dear Padfoot,

What do we do?

-Third Year

Dear Third Year,

Turn on the radio!

!Padfoot!

Dear Padfoot,

I don't have a radio!

-Third Year

Dear Third Year,

Get one!!!! Quick!

!Padfoot!

Dear Padfoot,

I can't, I'm broke!

-Third Year

Dear Third Year,

Barrow one. I do believe that Moony has one.

!Padfoot!

Dear Padfoot,

Moony wouldn't lend it to me! What should I do?

-Third Year

Dear Third Year,

Eat Jello.

!Padfoot!

Dear Padfoot,

I don't have Jello!

-Third Year

Dear Third Year,

Go to the kitchen. Duh!

!Padfoot!

Dear Padfoot,

Where are the kitchens?

-Third Year

Dear Third Year,

Go find the big pear in a big picture and tickle it!

!Padfoot!

Dear Padfoot,

When I mentioned green Jello, the House Elves started throwing socks and underwear at me! Green sock!

-Third Year

Dear Third Year,

Mwahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

!Padfoot!

Dear Padfoot,

What can I do?

-Third Year

Dear Third Year,

Ask Moony... !^[

!Padfoot!

Dear Padfoot,

What's the deal with you and Third Year?

-Eighth Year

Dear Eighth Year,

What do you do mean?? Do you suspect us or something?! Why do you want to know anyway?! Are you some kind of freak stalker?!

!Padfoot!

Dear Padfoot,

What's the meaning of life? Will you marry me? Will I ever meat Orlando Bloom? If I do will he fall in love with me? Will I ever graduate? How do you catch a good man? Am I annoying you yet? Is Moony your best friend or Prongs? Are you scared of thunderstorms? Do you have a job? What is it? Do you get paid? Okay, bye now!

Love always,

Chock full o' questions

Dear Chock full o' questions,

42. No, I like being single. Go to the Divination teacher. Go to the Divination teacher. Go to the Divination teacher. I'm a guy (duh!); I'm not supposed to know this stuff! Nope, not possible! Ummmmmmm... Ummmmmmmm... J-E-L-L-O! Terribly, they remind me of Styrofoam . My only job in the world is to annoy people and satisfy women< thinks for a moment>; some women. ^_~ Bye! Bye!

!Padfoot!

Dear Padfoot,

Golly geez you're so hot, every time I walk past you I get burt. I'm so in love with you! I have your picture by my bed so I can see you before I go to sleep. I dream about you every night. I want to marry you and have your children. I love you! Marry me!

Forever your,

Madley in Love

Dear Madley in Love,

I know; I'm just that good. Sorry though, for now I am taken. Maybe next week.

!Padfoot!

DEAR SIRIUS,

WHAT IS 2+2? HA, YOU WOULDN' TKNOW YOU SNIVELING SIMPLETON! WHY DON'T YOU DO US ALL A FAVOR AND DIE! YOU AND YOUR STUPID FRIENDS ARE A DISGRACE TO THE WIZZARDING COMMUNITY!

YOU THINK THAT YOU ARE SO SMART, BUT I'LL SHOW YOU! WHY DON'T YOU PUT YOUR WAND WHERE YOUR MOUTH IS, I CHALLENGE YOU TO A DUEL, JUST YOU AND ME, NONE OF YOUR MEDDELING FRIENDS!

SNAPE

Dear Ha! Snape,

He! Ha! Bwahahahahahaha! (Starts rolling on the floor laughing, unable to carry on, tears streaming down his face).

HA! !Padfoot!