Harry Potter and the I Don't Know What...

Chap.7: We're now far from the Dursley's and the author hasn't got a name for the chapter so she's gonna call it "9 ¾". Seems familiar right?

Harry: Woah! Long chapter name!

Voice#1: I have a question: If this is the fifth year of Harry how come the real book came out?

Voice#2: What?

Hermione: Well, maybe this could be another version.

Ron: Hey, you're back!

Hermione: Yes Ron. I see you have eyes.

Ron: What about my dad?

Hermione: I killed him.

Ron: Cool.

Voice#2: What are you guys talking about?

Fred: But I think it could be difficult for the author to write about the fifth year when she knows what happened.

Voice#2: What?

George: Yeah, but what can change the ideas of the author for this fic. ?

Voice#2: What?

Harry: The 870 page book may change her ideas.

Voice#2: What book?

Voice#1: And then again Sirius died...

Harry: Yeah...

Author: NNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

OoooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Why? Why?

Voice#2: Yeah, I'm asking that same question.

Author: I'm jinxed.

Harry: Why?

Author: Every person I like dies at the end!

Hermione: Like who?

Author: Spike, Leo and now Sirius!

Voice#2: What?

Voice#1: Bloody hell! Are you bleeding stupid!

Voice#2: What?

Ron: Maybe he's deaf.

Harry: Maybe.

Voice#2: What?

Voice#1: Can you hear me?

Voice#2: Sure, why?

All: Idiot!

Voice#2: You guys talking about me?

All: Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Voice#1: Okay, let's talk about what's going on.

Author: Well in the fifth book Harry listens to the news a lot at the Dursleys. Then he's attacked by dementors...

Voice#1: Not that!

Harry: Okay, I'm singing songs.

Ron: I'm drooling over Hermione.

Hermione: And I'm wiping the drool off.

Charlie: I'm dead.

Fred: I'm here.

George: I'm talking

Percy: I left my family to be with the ministry.

Mrs. Weasley: I'm sleeping.

Bill: I'm drunk.

M. Weasley: I'm dead also.

Voice#1: Not that! I mean...

Voice#2: ...Let's get back to the story.

Voice#1: Yes, there you go!

Harry: So what's happening in the story?

Voice#1: Everyone was making their bags to go to school.

Voice#2: Except Bill, Mrs. Weasley, Percy, Charlie, M. Weasley, the guy with tool wrench, the woman who's lost, Voldie, Me, the big, huge, purple dinosaur, boring bob brought big blue balloons in baskets, Buffy, the author, the readers and someone else.

Hermione: Huh?

Voice#1: Don't ask.

Ron: She won't, I will: huh?

Harry: I won't ask, you shouldn't ask.

Ron: Okay, I never asked.

Voice#1: There you go. Now they arrived- No, shut up Ron- at King Arthur!

Harry: King Arthur?

Voice#1: I mean...King Cross.

Ron: Guys?

Harry: Yeah?

Ron: Why are we in the train?

Voice#2: 'Cause the author wants to finish this story real quick.

Ron: Oh.

Hermione: So the story's gonna be over in this chapter?

Voice#1: Yep.

Hermione: How can that be?

Harry: And why?

Ron: And also how can that be?

Hermione: I just said that.

Ron: Oh, sorry.

Voice#2: Well, I have no idea.

Voice#1: What?! We're the ones who are telling the story!

Harry: Like you don't know Voice#2! I've been with you guys for only 7 chapters and I know your personalities!

Hermione: Yah! He can forget his own story!

Voice#2: She's right! I can! (Beat) Hey! Wait a minute!

Voice#1: On with the story.

Voice#2: (Mumbling) nobody thinks of my intelligence!

Harry: Well, there's not much to think about.

Voice#1: So they arrived to King Cross by flying.

Hermione: Witches and wizards can't fly! Unless on Broomsticks.

Voice#1: This is our story and we'll tell it like we want!

Voice#2: Yeah! And they were flying on magic carpets!

Harry: Ron! Hold on! These carpets are unbalanced!

Ron: Yeah, but the designs are beautiful! Where do these carpets come from?

Hermione: Tokyo.

Voice#1: When they landed everything was dark.

Ron: AAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! I'M BLIND!!!!!!!!!!

Mrs. Weasley: Could someone open the lights?

Hermione: I can't find the switch.

Man at the train station: Lights open!

(A beat)

Harry: Well that didn't work.

Hermione: It's dark.

Ron: That's why you're the smart one! You always state the obvious!

Harry: Why are the lights off anyway?

Ron: And that's why Harry's the... Wait a minute. Why is Harry the leader? I mean it's Voldie who always finds Harry! Not Harry! Wait...

Harry: Oh! Just open the bloody lights!

Ron: No, wait! Maybe it's Neville who's supposed to be our leader! You know, 'cause Dumbledore told Harry that Voldie was going to kill Harry or Neville to survive...

Harry: Too much information!

Neville: So I'm your leader?

Hermione: Yep, all suck up to the great king: Neville the thumbsucker, clumsy, remembrall loser, loser, friendless...

Neville: Okay! They get it!

Harry: (Mumbling) what do you want to do about the lights Oh, great loser King Neville?

Neville: Well... I think we should all jump into the railroad in this dark just two seconds before the trains leave not considering the danger that we might get squashed.

All: Okay.

Voice#1: And so they did what he told them to do.

Voice#2: And just at that moment, or two seconds later, the train started working and crashed everyone in the train station...

Voice#1: But no one could explain how.

Voice#2: And because someone was caring a bucket of gas the whole world was over.

Voice#1: And that's how the world...

Voice#2: Ended.

Voice#1: So, you see this fic wasn't about a kid named Harry Potter...

Voice#2: But about "Why?" and "How?" the world ended.

Voice#1: And the only surviver was Frederick Weasley because the author didn't have the heart to kill ya!

Fred: Hourray! Wait everyone's dead! Hourray!

The End of this fic

And apparently the world also.

Voice#1: I still don't get why we finish each others sentences and why they're a lot of "oh"'s in this fic?

Voice#2: Oh.

Voice#1: See?!