A Closer Look

A Walk Down Memory Lane

It's a secret that no one tells,

One day it's heaven, one day it's hell

It's no fairy tale, take it from me,

That's the way it's supposed to be.

-Even Angels Fall, Jessica Riddle

Ginny sat tapping her pencil against the ancient wood desk that stood in her room. She frowned at the jagged line her pencil made on the paper when she wrote, because of the creases and indents in the desk. On closer inspection, she noticed one of the creases was actually carved writing that said 'I love HP.' She tried to scratch away at it with her nail, but this only resulted in changing the letter o to an a, and giving her a splinter.

She tried again to compose her letter.

Dear Seamus,

Hi, how are you?

Nothing sounded right, so in frustration Ginny crumpled the paper and tossed it aside. How was she supposed to phrase this letter, when she still held a deep grudge against her ex-boyfriend? 'Oh hey Seamus, its been a while! Last time we talked was when I told you to go to hell after walking in on you snogging Lavender, but don't worry I'm over that.' That wouldn't exactly be getting him on her good side before asking him the important question she had.

Finally, she pulled out a fresh piece of parchment and wrote the letter. So what if it wasn't the greatest, all that mattered was it was done. She watched in amusement as Cassie, her baby barn owl anxiously accepted the letter and flew out the window.

Descending the rickety stairs Saturday morning, Ginny could hear yelling from the kitchen. A perturbed Molly Weasley was nothing to mess with. Ginny had turned around to head back upstairs, when a familiar voice changed her mind. She took the stairs two at a time, and bounded into the kitchen.

"...and tell me, just exactly how were you planning to pay..." Mrs. Weasley was cut off by a streak of red blazing past. That streak soon had her arms wrapped around the object of Mrs. Weasley's wrath.

"Fred!!!"

"Ginny!"

"I wasn't quite finished you know!"

"Oh goodness! How are you? Where's George? Is he here too? Oh, who cares! You've just got to tell me all about that new shop space your purchasing..."

Mrs. Weasley sighed as Ginny and Fred strolled arm in arm out the back door to sit in the autumn sunshine. Once they were safely tucked away getting caught up, she broke into a huge grin. Those two just didn't see each other enough. The twins always loved seeing their baby sister. For that matter, all the boys did.

Out on the porch Fred summoned the two some tea and croissants, which of course earned a reprimand. ("Fred! Those were for your father!") As they sat talking up a storm, Ginny couldn't help but beam. She hadn't felt so merry in days. Not to mention she thrived off Fred's adoration for her. Now she sat getting caught up in Fred's stories of the business, his girlfriend, and life in general.

"So, Gin," Fred said after a while. "How would you like to be in a wedding?" Ginny choked on her tea a little and could barely spit out her words.

"Wedding?!" her face lit up and she jumped up to give Fred a hug. She then decided to have a bit of fun, before celebrating. "Well, I suppose it would depend on who's it is."

Fred unwrapped her arms from around his neck and looked up at her, "You're kidding right?"

"Kidding?" Ginny said with a straight face. "Why would I be...oh I get it-it's you that's getting married!" she then stared in pleasure at the amazed look on Fred's face. She couldn't help but break down laughing. Fred smiled too, and shoved her away playfully.

"Okay, okay," Ginny said recuperating. "Now seriously, this is great! I'm going to be a sister in law."

All the sudden Ginny had a startling realization, "Now wait, it is Angelina right? Please say it's Angie!"

"Yes, it's Angelina," Fred laughed, and the rich sound of it resounded throughout the surrounding woods. Ginny laughed too, seeing how truly happy Fred was. You could just see how in love he was by the way his face brightened at the mere mention of his bride-to-be's name. No one deserved joy as much as Fred did, either.

"One last question. Please tell me you actually asked her this time," Ginny said with a teasing smile, referring to the Yule Ball in her 3^rd year. Once again, they lapsed into laughter. After that came a bout of silence. Fred started to read the paper that was already out on the table, and Ginny went inside to get a copy of Witch Weekly. She tried to read, but in the end, she couldn't stop looking at the content expression that had settled over her big brothers face. She wondered longingly if she'd ever be that happy.

*******

If one were to walk into the Weasley kitchen on a Saturday night, they'd most likely turn and run the other way. Everywhere you turned, commotion ensued. Dough was kneading, turkey was basting, and for no good reason flour was flying in every direction. Some how, though, on top of all the chaos, mother and daughter sat at the kitchen table peacefully peeling onions, and slicing potatoes. They seemed oblivious to the world around them, as they sat discussing anything and everything.

"I think they'll have the most darling kids," Ginny commented, adding to the conversation about Fred and Angelina's recent engagement.

"Oh, I do hope they have a little girl. I hate to be partial but I think I've had my fair share of young lads," Mrs. Weasley said, glancing towards the family portrait that hung on the wall over the fireplace.

"Either way I can't wait to be an Aunt again."

"And I can't wait to be a grandmother again."

Together they sat smiling, going about dinner preparations. They were fixing up quite a feast, since Fred would be bringing Angelina home for the first time since their engagement. Both of the women wanted everything to go perfectly, and for them perfection required good food. Ginny had to admit that it was a nice excuse to spend some time with her Mum.

Ginny looked up as the hand on the family clock marked 'Ron' moved to 'home'. She jumped up, causing the streams of flour that had settled on her lap to billow up in a cloud. Swatting her hands around her head, she bustled out of the kitchen to greet her brother. Ron worked at the Ministry as an Auror. Ginny always worried about Ron. His job was demanding, and certainly dangerous.

Ron looked tired, and his eyes held an alarming vacancy. Running a hand through his hair, he let out a sigh. Of course, as soon as he noticed Ginny he put on a huge grin, and tried to vanish the despairing look in his eyes. He always tried to look happy to spare Ginny from having to glance into the harsh real world he lived in. She was never fooled, but indulged his wishes. Running to him now, she threw her arms around him before scolding him playfully for wearing his muddy shoes into the house.

"Honestly, your as bad as Mum!" Ron said, removing his shoes nonetheless.

"Yeah, well, has Mum ever beat your arse in a race?" with that Ginny shoved Ron onto the couch and tore off towards the kitchen. When Ron and Ginny had been children, every day when they returned home from their Wizarding Primary School they would race to the kitchen sink to wash up for a snack. Mrs. Weasley enforced the game, by rewarding whoever was ready first with the privilege of sitting in Mr. Weasley's chair. While it wasn't much of a treat now, as children it was the highest honor.

Ginny was almost to the door when Ron lunged at her, knocking her to the floor. He took off but was hindered by two arms that wrapped around his legs. He too fell to the floor, and they crawled over and over each other in attempt to reach the sink. Mrs. Weasley watched in amusement as the two came rolling into the kitchen. Ginny found the opportunity, then, to hop up and scramble to the sink. Ron reached it just as Ginny was rinsing off the soap.

"All right you two. Break it up. Miss. Virginia, I believe you've won yourself the right to sit in the chair of one Arthur Weasley," the three of them laughed together, and Ginny collapsed into said chair at the head of the table. She then took up her knife again, and continued slicing potatoes.

"Ron, dear, how was work," Ron shrugged, biting into an apple.

"Oh, so, so. Lots of raids," he managed between bites. Ginny chuckled watching her brother try to speak through his mouthful.

"Wha?"

"Oh nothing," Ginny said, trying to hide her smile. Brushing a stray hair out of her face, she got up to check on the turkey.

"So, now, I hear I'm going to have a sister-in-law. Who's the lucky girl?"

"Why, can't you guess?"

"Angelina then? Cor, that's great! Such a sweet girl."

"Indeed. It will be so nice to have her in the family."

"Who all's coming to dinner then?" Ron asked reaching across the table to swipe a potato slice. Mrs. Weasley hit his hand away, but only after he'd gotten one.

"Let see then... George, Percy, Bill, Sabina, and their kids. Charlie, Di, and the girls can't make it, though. There in the Swiss Alps on business, and Dianna, bless her heart, is trying her darndest to get all her orders finished. Oh and then Valerie has come down with the flu."

Over at the sink, Ginny sighed. She couldn't help but be a bit disappointed. She was really looking forward to seeing Charlie's family. Charlie had got married when Ginny was in her 5^th year at Hogwarts, and now had two adorable little girls with his wife, Diana. She loved being an aunt, and the two girls, Samantha and Valerie simply loved Ginny. Charlie was still in the dragon business, and Diana designed and sewed outfits for professional wizarding actors/actresses, bands, and Quidditch players-you name it.

"Oh Ron!" Mrs. Weasley said, snapping her eyes up from their fix on the onions. "You should call and invite Harry! He and Angelina played Quidditch together, and I'm sure no one would mind having him around tonight."

"Alright then. I think I'll do just that. I never pass up the opportunity to see Harry anyway," he got up, and then turned to face Ginny for a second. "And I'm sure Ginny won't have any objections..." this earned Ron a smack on the arm with the dishtowel, as he dashed from the kitchen.

"Ginny, why don't you take a break and let me wash some of those dishes," Mrs. Weasley said going over to the sink.

"Oh no, I'm fine. Your busy enough."

"Well, I'll at least help," Mrs. Weasley took up a dishtowel and dried the dishes as Ginny washed them.

"Now tell me, how are things going?" she said, her voice a little strained.

"What things? What do you mean?" Ginny sincerely hoped the conversation wasn't heading in the direction she foresaw.

"Well, is their anyone...special?" Ginny groaned.

"Oh Mum! Honestly! I've hardly had time to meet anyone, and well..." Ginny sighed.

"Could it be your waiting for someone in particular?" Mrs. Weasley said slyly.

"Now, Mum, if you're thinking about Harry well then you can just-"

"I can just what? Now don't tell me you don't still harbor some feelings for the boy."

"Either way it doesn't matter. I hope that's not why you told Ron to invite him," she said glaring at the dish she was washing.

"Well...."

"It isn't, is it?" Ginny said incredulously, looking up.

"Well, maybe I just thought if you two could spend some time together-" Mrs. Weasley said guiltily.

"Mum! Don't you dare try to pull anything at dinner. If he wants to get together then he can very well find a way to talk to me himself!"

"Well, he's coming," said Ron walking back into the kitchen. "Oh, yeah, and he says he's been wanting to talk to you, Gin."

Ginny gaped, and Ron just shrugged.

"I'm off to change," as Ron disappeared up the staircase, Mrs. Weasley burst out laughing.

"Seems like he's found that way to talk to you, eh, Gin?" Ginny threw her a menacing glare as she walked over to get the turkey out of the oven.

"Now why don't you just go on and get ready, Ginny, dear. I think I've got it from here," Mrs. Weasley said, winking.

"Well, if you're sure..." Ginny looked longingly at the stairs.

"Positive. Now scat!" No more needed to be said. Ginny placed her apron back on its hook and raced up to her room.

*******

The doorbell rang, and Ginny could hear a mixture of laughter and greetings coming from the living room. She tried to distinguish the voices and concluded that it was Bill and his family. She smiled at her reflection in the mirror as she heard Kevin, Bill and Sabina's oldest, request to see 'Aunt Ginny.' She was working against the clock to get ready in time for Harry's arrival.

Ginny was dressed in a rather fancy lavender dress. It was tight until the waist, and then billowed down, with glitter all over the skirt. The fabric was sheer and floaty on top, and had a silky under layer. It had, in fact, been designed especially for her by Diana. She now stood in front of the mirror struggling to fix her hair in a pile atop her head, with a few stray curls left to frame her face. Said style, however, was easier dreamed up then done. In the end, she left her hair down, with a butterfly clip holding it back on one side. Fastening her earrings and diamond necklace, she surveyed her reflection in the mirror.

Ginny made her way down the stairs just as she heard Harry make an entrance. Stopping at the landing, she took on as elegant of a posture as she could. She sucked in a deep breath and casually walked into the living room. She looked around and noted everyone but the celebratory couple themselves, was there. Sabina, who worked at the ministry on the Committee of Experimental Charms, was deep in discussion with Percy, and Bill sat on the couch entertaining the kids. George and Harry where over by the fire, talking about the good old days on the Gryffindor Quidditch team.

"Virginia!" Sabina cried, noticing her presence. She rushed over to swoop Ginny up in a hug. She then whispered her thanks, for the effective excuse to ditch Percy. They laughed together as George and Harry made their way across the room to say hello, followed closely by Kevin. Of course, as soon as Kevin got up, Attica, who was too young to walk, let out a howl. Bill swooped her up and made his way over too. All at once, Ginny's head was spinning, as she tried to keep up with the constant chatter.

"There's my favourite sister!" said George, the first of the crowd to arrive.

"George, I'm your only sister," Ginny laughed, but graciously accepted his hug.

"Hey Ginny! How's life treating you?" Harry asked. She opened her mouth to respond, but her attempt was cut short by a by a pair of arms surrounding her legs. She stumbled a bit, and Harry caught her. Their eyes met for a moment before she bent down to pick Kevin up.

"Aunt Ginny! Aunt Ginny! Gueth what?" Kevin squealed.

"What?"

"I loth a tooth today!" he said, pointing to the hole in his line of teeth. Ginny laughed, and gave him a huge congratulatory hug before turning her attention to Attica. Harry laughed too, and went to play with Kevin.

"Guinea Pig! I wan Guinea Pig!" Attica shrieked in Bills ear. Ginny and Bill exchanged looks, before Ginny took Attica from him. Attica had trouble saying the 'G' in Ginny, so that it came out 'Guinea', and since Attica's first pet was a Guinea Pig, she called Aunt Ginny her 'Guinea Pig'. Ginny actually adored the nickname and always smiled when hearing it.

"How's my little angel doing?" Ginny asked, smiling down at the little one year old. Attica's response was a tiny giggle, which was more than satisfactory to Ginny.

"Gosh it's good to see you again, Gin," Bill said, giving her a hug. Attica chose that moment to cry out.

"I wan my mummy!" Sabina hurried over to take her, mumbling about hunger pains.

"Funny how fast they change their minds about what they want, at that age," Ginny pondered.

"Ah, so that's what it is. I thought it was simply an endless plot to drive 'mummy' and 'daddy' insane," Bill joked.

"Or it could be that," Just then the doorbell rang yet again, and Mrs. Weasley bustled over to get it. As Fred and Angelina stepped inside, a crowd gathered around the door. 'Congratulations' were heard coming from all directions. Molly, Sabina, and Ginny all hurried to give Angelina hugs, while the men all shook hands with Fred. Kevin loved being in the middle of all of it, and had one arm around Fred's leg and the other around Angelina's. Attica was clinging to Sabina with one hand grabbing at Angelina's ear. She took Attica from Sabina as the group headed into the dining room. Angelina was already well acquainted, and liked, by all of the family.

As the dinner got started, Ginny hurried into the kitchen to help magic all the dishes into the dining room.

"Remember Mum-Play nice!" she said following the potatoes and rolls into the dining room.

"Oh, come now, you know I will," Mrs. Weasley said, but didn't sound all too convincing.

Funny though, how the only space left at the table was next to Harry. Conversation at the table was loud and festive, and Ginny couldn't help but get swept up in the warm feeling she always got when surrounded by family. Watching Fred and Angelina was so wonderful in its own way, too. It was just so romantic the way they finished each other's sentences, and how both their smiles reached an alarming size when talk turned to the wedding.

"Of course we were hoping Ginny would be one of my bride maids," at her name, Ginny snapped out of her thoughtful trance.

"What? Oh, yes! Of course! I'd be delighted."

"And of course she says of course. She knows if she doesn't she can expect a canary cream to be slipped in with her strudel in the morning," George said, as laughs sounded from around the table.

"Strudel? There'll be strudel? Maybe I'll just camp out here till morning..." Harry pondered.

"Now tell me Angie, dear, your not thinking about doing the wedding yourself, are you?" Sabina asked kindly. Fred and Angelina looked at each other hesitantly, and seemed to be communicating telepathically. Finally, Angelina turned to look at Sabina.

"Well, yes, actually," she answered. All at once, there was a loud uproar.

"Why, Angie, that's crazy talk-"

"Too much stress-"

"You need a break-"

Ginny, however, preferred to sit in silence and register the complaints. Angelina worked in London as a wedding planner-a quite sought after, successful one actually.

"Yes, yes, I know it sounds crazy, but I prefer to think of it as ambitious."

"Here, here!" Percy said, earning him quite a few glares and some assorted questioning looks. "Oh never mind."

"Well I think its great Angie, and I'm here to help anytime you need it," Ginny put in. She was rewarded with a smile from Angelina, and a hand squeeze from Harry. Her heart fluttered momentarily.

"Now don't misunderstand us Angelina. We all know you can do it. Why certainly you have the talent. But are you sure you want all that pressure? A weddings hard enough already," Arthur said cautiously, with genuine concern.

"True, Mr. Weasley-"

"Please call me Arthur."

"-Arthur- But I've given it a great deal of thought. I just think that if you want something done right, you've got to do it yourself," With a firm nod of her head, Angelina began to finish her meal. The conversation moved on, but Ginny was stuck back with those words. If you want something done right, you've got to do it yourself.

*******

Desde looked up from her magazine, as the bells on the door announced the arrival of a customer. A tall, uptight looking, blond women was heading in her direction. She took tiny steps, going fast, and there was a certain glint in her crystalline blue eyes, that showed she meant business. Desde let out a deep, exasperated sigh.

"Oh here we go," she muttered under her breath. The women came fast up to the station, and then stopped promptly, directly in front. She flicked a stray piece of dyed blonde hair out of her eyes and then rested both hands on her hips. Desde silently noted that there was no other way to describe her then 'fake.'

"Why hello Ricia!" she said, putting on a noticeably false cheer.

"Don't play cute with me Desde," Ricia said narrowing her eyes to tiny slits. "Why hasn't it been done?"

"Done? What?" Desde was now very preoccupied filing a nail.

"I don't have time for these childish games, Desde. I'm here on business, and I, unlike others I know, mean to get it done," she then removed her hands from her hips and placed them firmly on the stand in front of her. Leaning down, she glared menacingly at Desde. "Now give me the report."

"Alright, alright. Calm down," she abandoned the nail file for a buffer. "All work and no play makes Ricia a dull girl. Here's the deal. I need...oh I don't know...two more weeks?"

"Outrageous!" Ricia cried. "That's preposterous. The job was supposed to be done one week ago, yet I don't find myself initiating any new De-"

"Shut up!" Desde yelled abruptly. Ricia turned to look at where Desde was staring. Just then, a young redheaded girl slipped through the door from the back room into the main shop. "Later," Desde whispered.

"Hey, Desde," Ginny said, hanging up her cloak. "I'm just here to talk to Madame Domi...Oh, sorry. Didn't realize you were helping someone."

"No problem at all. She's not really a customer. Just came to say hi, didn't you Ricia? And she's just on her way out," Desde fixed Ricia with a malevolent smile, daring Ricia to argue. Ricia swiftly turned her head to stare at Ginny. Her eyes glazed over Ginny from head to toe, as if measuring her. She then switched her attention back to Desde.

"Right. I was leaving. I'll see you Tuesday night then," Ricia started to leave, but then turned back once more to face Ginny. "And she's welcome to come, too," she said pointedly. With that, she hurried out and disappeared half way down the street.

"Sorry if I interrupted," Ginny said bustling towards the door to Madame Dominique's office. "I just came to talk to the boss. I need to get a few days off."

*******

Ginny arrived just outside the gates of Hogwarts, by Apparation, around ten o'clock Monday morning. Taking in a deep breath, she walked steadily across the grounds, heading towards the stone front steps.

The sound her new Mary Jane shoes made on the cold stone steps, jangled her nerves. Her stomach was doing flip-flops every which way. She looked to her right at Hermione, praying for a bit of comfort. Hermione, however, looked just as worried. Of course, that was to be expected when your two best friends mysteriously weren't on the train to Hogwarts. Ginny felt tears stinging at the corners of her eyes, and breathed in deeply trying to prevent them from spilling over. That was the last thing she needed, to cry on the first day of school. It would hardly give her a good reputation.

Up ahead she heard a chorus of cheerful voices and silently cursed them. Why should they be so happy, when she was so upset? Hermione led her up to the front door and held it open for her. Bravely, she entered.

Fiddling with the buttons of her blouse, Ginny walked through the empty hall. Her heels made a dreadful clattering sound, and she worried they'd announce her arrival to the whole castle. She stopped in the middle of the hall, and turned to her right, peering into the Great Hall.

She watched as a young brunette girl knocked over a glass of pumpkin juice, commanding the attention of many at the Gryffindor table. Across from her, a small girl with flaming red hair stood up to magnify the intense glaring.

"Who do you think you are, Katie? All year you've been bossing us around, and I'm sick of it! I don't care if they want to put up with it-" at this, she threw her head in the direction of two girls sitting close by. " I won't. I'm not that stupid."

"How dare you! Honestly, I'm the best thing that ever happened to you and that pathetic mob."

"Oh, please, get off your high horse!"

"At least you recognize that I've got the money to own one."

By then the whole hall was listening intently. The whispers that were flying threw the crowd, died immediately, and the hall was plunged into an intense silence. The red heads face paled. She reached down and stealthily picked up her goblet of pumpkin juice. Everyone was focused completely on her, waiting with baited breath, to see if she dared. In one swift move, Ginny turned the glass over Katie's head. A shriek pierced the silence.

"Virginia Weasley!" she screamed, taking a breath to continue. Then, all the sudden, the girl seemed to change her mind. Summoning two of her admirers to her side, she put a hand on each of their shoulders and climbed on top of the table. "If that's the way you want it..." she whispered down at Ginny. She then continued speaking, her tone was sickening sweet, but laced with malice. She directed her words to Ginny, but firmly ensured that everyone heard.

"You, Ginny Weasley, are nothing but a pathetic poor girl. You will never amount to anything in life, and will waste your days begging on street corners for a spare galleon. Unlike myself, your youth will leave you, and you will be just a shell of hopelessness. You're a nothing but useless trash. I hope you enjoy your future Ginny. I'll be sure to stop in and visit you at the local brothel."

Ginny watched as the girl flew out of the great hall and rushed past her, before fading into a simple gust of wind.

Ahead of her was the elaborate marble staircase. Heading towards it, she tried to push the scene out of her head. Crowds pushed past her, as she tried to shove her way through. Music still sounded from the great hall, and made it's way to her ears. She let herself fall back onto it, and float with it up the stairs. She looked up at the top, to see him waiting for her. He was there at last...her dream guy. But slowly, he transformed into the awkward 4^th year boy she'd really gone to the ball with.

"Thanks for coming with me, Ginny. I had a great time," Neville said, fidgeting with his robes.

"Oh, yes, me too," she said being as polite as possible. She didn't notice him swoop down to give her a kiss on the cheek, and choose that moment to turn her head. The kiss landed square on her mouth. She felt her cheeks redden, and was sure her head was on fire. The kiss was odd; his chapped lips rubbing against her glossed ones. It tasted like pumpkin juice, which could be credited to the many glasses they'd each drunk that night. It was, she realized, nothing like what she imagined her first kiss would be like. All her hopes and dreams of a romantic, candlelit dinner, fluttered away with the breeze.

Finally, after what seemed an eternity, but was really only a matter of seconds, she pulled back. She felt flushed, and embarrassed, and carefully averted her eyes from Neville. This turned out to be a bad idea, for her wandering glance immediately fell upon Draco Malfoy. She would always remember that moment. For once, Draco seemed to have been caught off guard. He stood there with the strangest expression on his face, one Ginny couldn't read. It was in that single moment that Ginny witnessed an unguarded, unmasked Draco. But then he noticed her looking, and put on his signature smirk.

"Didn't think you could do any worse then Potter, Weasley," he said, maliciously. Ginny fixed him with a piercing glare. "Guess I was wrong."

Ginny watched as Draco vanished, and she stood staring at the empty spot. Collecting herself, she turned to the left and headed off. From then on she tried to walk firmly, one foot in front of the other, lest she get caught up in any more flash backs. Yet, they seemed unavoidable, always chasing after her, waiting in the shadows until the time was right to spring up.

She glanced to the left, spying the closet in which spare brooms, and Quidditch balls were kept. As she walked past, she couldn't help but overhear distracted mumblings, and faint sighs coming from within. Giggling, she approached it, hoping to catch Katie snogging with her boyfriend. They were always at it, and Ginny hoped to give them a bit of a fright-make them think twice before snogging in the broom closet again. She approached it cautiously, gripped the handle, and then flung the door open.

Her triumphant smile slowly slid off her face. She felt her shoulders sag, and her legs give out. Seamus jumped up from his passionate embrace with Lavender, to catch her. She regained her balance and pushed him away, a look of utter disgust taking residence on her face.

"Don't touch me!" she spat. "Don't you ever touch me again!"

The menacing look on her face was slipping, and she could feel her angry resolve leaving. She turned and ran as fast as she could. By the time she rounded the corner, big wet tears were splashing down her face, the mascara she only wore to impress Seamus, leaving ugly trails. She leaned back against the wall, her chest heaving up and down. She melted into a puddle on the floor.

Ginny stood staring at the door, unable to move. All rational thoughts had fled her mind, and she raced over to the door, and nearly tore it off its hinges. Two figures sprung apart, the little blonde girl banging her head on a box. They both looked terrified, and Ginny took a step back to let some more light in. The boy quickly got to his feet.

"We're sorry...please, we didn't mean to!"

"Oh my, I-I-never mind. You two just run along," Ginny said, trying not to die of embarrassment. Those poor kids...

So, she continued on her way, walking softly down the long corridor. She held a candle and tiptoed along in her teal slippers, a Christmas gift from Seamus. Behind her came Meghan, and Cambria. All three of them were caught up in giggles. Katie had been made prefect that year, so they were all sneaking down to the prefect's bathroom for makeovers. When they walked in, Katie was already there, snacking on a bowl of grapes.

"Hurry, keep quite and get in!" once they were all in Katie locked the door, and turned to face them putting on a mischievous smile. "You know these walls are soundproof?"

Everyone stood still for a minute exchanging glances. Meg walked swiftly over to the tub and turned a knob. Millions of bubbles flowed out, and she scooped up a handful. Walking back over, with one deliberate movement she dumped the lot on Cambria's head. And the mood was broken, the group exploded in laughter, no self-restraint exercised.

Ginny ran over, twisting and turning all the knobs, and letting various perfumes flow out. As soon as the Olympic size tub was full, she pointed her wand at herself preparing to perform a spell to change into her bathing suit. Before she had a chance, though, she felt hands on her back, and then she was in the water, choking with laughter and spitting up bubbles. Turning around in the water, she tugged at Cambria's hand until she was in the water next to her. A second later, Meghan and Katie had dived in.

An hour later, the girls were all lounging around in facemasks and toweled hair, reading Teen Witch. Cambria and Meghan were whispering over an article, when Katie abruptly threw down her magazine. She let out a deep sigh and blew a bang out of her eyes.

"You know what I was thinking?" she asked looking around at them all.

"No telling," Ginny said, glancing up from her magazine.

"I was thinking how great all this is. I mean, not just tonight, but life in general when we're friends," she explained.

"I think we're all with you there, Kate," Meghan said.

"Yeah, but I'm scared. I just-I just don't want it to end," Ginny scooted her chair closer.

"I know what you mean. My mum always says 'all good things must come to an end.' That's so depressing though."

"Well, why? I mean why do we have to sit here and except that this will all end? No," Katie said her brown eyes shining. "I don't think I will except it," she finished defiantly.

"Um, ok...but what do you mean?" Cambria said.

"I mean, let's make a pact. No, promise. Promise sounds like a better word. Let's promise to always be friends. Always-until were old with no teeth and our hair is falling out!" Katie exclaimed, really getting into it.

Ginny looked around, "Well, I don't know about you lot, but I'm fully amenable to that promise. I'm in. Oh except for the part about my hair falling out-that won't happen. But other than that, it sounds good. Friends Forever," she walked over to Katie's chair and threw her arms around her shoulders. Slowly, they all came to sit by Katie, vowing that it would never end.

Hypocrite, Ginny thought now. She was so avid that we swear it, yet look who caved first...

She held her head high then, and walked with stern determination. This time she made it all the way to the charms classroom. She went through the door as several students pushed past her, anxious to get to lunch. Her nerves started getting to her as she strolled inside, trying her hardest to look nonchalant. Looking around she was disappointed not to spot the object of her inquiry.

Instead, she spotted a scarlet tapestry, with a small burnt spot in the bottom left corner.

Groaning, Ginny turned the page and began to copy down more notes from "Charm the pants of your friends and family-An advanced guide to household charms."

Ginny had always been a good student, but Charms wasn't her best subject. She'd been coming in after classes for extra help for a few weeks, and that particular night Professor Flitwick had provided her with ample work. It was late, she'd missed dinner, and her candle was burning low. She wasn't in the best of moods. She heard a creaking noise and her eyes flew over to where Professor Flitwick lay asleep in his chair. Another slow creek drew her attention to the door.

She stifled a scream as a solitary, shadowy figure slipped through the door.

"Who-who's there?"

"Gin, it's me!" Ginny's face lit up as she recognized her boyfriend, Seamus Finnigan.

"What are you doing here?" he tiptoed over, and before he could answer, Ginny was out of her chair, wrapping her arms around his neck.

"I love you too, but oxygen is a crucial part of living. Right now I'm in need of some,"

Giggling she released her grip. He put down a plate loaded with chicken, green beans, mashed potatoes, pecan pie, and what looked like some sort of pudding. He also produced a goblet of pumpkin juice. She delved in, stuffing a bite of something in her mouth and then changing her mind and going back for a different selection.

"I thought you might be a bit hungry," he said sarcastically. "But I wasn't prepared to feed an army."

She nudged him playfully but then said, "You're a saint, you know that?" Seamus just laughed and pulled up a chair, watching as his girlfriend enjoyed her dinner. When it was all done, he magicked away the plates, and waited until her gaze caught with his. Transfixed, he stared deep into her eyes, until she wondered if there was some wonderful answer to life's mysteries there. Somehow though, she didn't feel any discomfort. She didn't think she could've broken their eye contact, if she'd wanted to. It was as if in that one moment, everything was right, perfect, content.

And then it happened. As if by magnetic force, Seamus was drawing closer, and she herself seemed to be levitating upward towards the inevitable. The second their lips met, Ginny felt a shock run through her body. She arched in to him, wanting nothing but to be in that moment forever. The kiss was sweet, and tender, yet intense and intoxicating. It was nothing like her first kiss with Neville. This kiss was to die for, and everything she'd hoped it would be. It wasn't her first kiss, but her first with Seamus, and that was just as worthy of the sigh that escaped her lips.

All at once, things changed. Seamus was leaning in father, and she in turn was settling back in her chair. Before she knew what was happening, her shoulder hit something and it went tipping back hitting the tapestry. All at once Seamus jerked back, and Ginny whipped around to see the tapestry ablaze in bright orange flames. She felt panic jump into her throat, incapacitating her.

"Oh my god! Seamus!" she shrieked. "What are we going to do?"

"Just don't panic! Here, come here. Get out of the way," Seamus pushed her aside and pulled out his wand. Ginny was crying by then, unsure of what to do. He muttered some words, which were lost in the chaos, and water shot out of his wand attacking the wild flames. The water flowed freely until the fire was doused. Seamus put his wand away and surveyed the damage.

"I don't think it's all that noticeable." Seamus said, sincerely. Ginny broke out in fits of laughter. The burn covered half the tapestry.

"I admire your optimism, love, but your not fooling anyone. Is there anything we can do?" Seamus smiled, summoning a bucket of water and a brush.

"We scrub."

So the two of them sat scrubbing late into the night, filling the room with laughter.

Sighing she turned and walked out of the room. Out in the hall she grabbed a student and requested to know where the Charms teacher was-out, visiting the gamekeeper. So out she went, back down the front steps, back across the lawn. And then by some strange twist of fate, it started to snow.

Setting out the blanket, she held it still as Katie put down the thermos of hot cocoa, along with other assorted baskets and containers. Together they stretched out on the blanket, Ginny sitting Indian style, Katie leaning on her arms with her legs stretched straight out in front.

Ginny looked up at the hazy grey sky. It looked as if it were simply falling down piece by piece- as if heaven were falling in the form of diamond white dots. She opened her mouth, sticking out her tongue, ready to catch a little piece of heaven. Katie giggled, and suggested she have some soup instead.

"What do you think they'll all think of this?" Katie said, crooking her head.

"Who?" Ginny asked, confused.

"Everyone-everyone who's looking out the castle window watching us have a picnic in the snow."

"Why do you care-you never did before," that's just what worried her. Katie had been worrying more and more about what people thought. It just wasn't her. But ever since the start of 6^th year...

"Oh, I don't really care," Katie said, not at all convincing. "I was just wondering."

"Well in that case, I think they all think this looks like great fun, and are thinking to themselves 'Now, why can't I be that cool?'" Ginny flashed superior smile.

"Because they aren't the ones out in the snow," Ginny sat staring at Katie trying to figure out what exactly she meant. Then it hit her, and she exploded in laughter. Katie laughed too, and they ended up clinging to each other trying desperately to breathe. After a while, they got to talking about this and that, and settled into bowls of soup and cocoa. Ginny would never forget that afternoon.

And she hadn't. But she had to move on there were more memories to attend to, though this was the last thing Ginny wanted to do. She tried to keep her eyes straight ahead, but straight ahead happened to be the lake. And there she stood talking heatedly with-who was it then? Seamus? Neville? Oh, but of course, Justin Finch-Fletchley, her five minute fling between her off and on again relationship with Seamus.

She watched as the younger version of herself walked forward to get in a better position for the yelling match. She searched her mind trying to remember what that was all about. It occurred to her that she had two legs that could very well carry her over to listen to the conversation, but all the same, she'd rather not. Then she remembered: Justin called her a slut, and she called him queer. From there, it got ugly as Ginny tried to fight her way out of the insults. It didn't help that the accusation was pretty much true. No, not that she was a slut, but that she was using him to get back at Seamus. Of course, at the time, she would never admit it.

Then she remembered something else. She remembered what would happen next. Sure enough, the young Ginny sucked in a deep breath, her cheeks bright red with outrage. She lifted her hand, placed it gingerly on Justin's chest, and pushed. He fell backwards, splashing into the ice-cold lake. With that Ginny swung around and stalked away, looking all too pleased with herself.

The real Ginny laughed, and then shuttered. How could she have been that horrible? I guess evil ex-boyfriends make you do crazy things. The other half of her brain piped in. I think the saying goes 'love makes you do crazy things.' Ginny glared at no one in particular, and walked off towards Hagrid's Hut to find the 'evil ex-boyfriend' himself.

*Knock, knock*

Who's there? She answered comically in her head. That's stupid. She said again, to herself. After that, she shook her head wildly. What was stupid was that she was talking to herself. Maybe not aloud, but all the same...

" 'Ello? And who're you, then?" Hagrid said in a friendly tone. She was, however, a bit taken a back that he didn't remember her.

"Oh, um, Ginny Weasley sir. I'm looking for Seamus Finnigan," she peered around Hagrid, trying to catch a glimpse. "Might I find him here?"

"Why Ginny Weasley? That you? I should've known! Come in, come in!"

Bursting through the doorway, she looked wildly around, and spotted them over by the fire. Harry sat with his leg propped up, while Hagrid bandaged his arm. He had a bloody lip, and his face was scratched up. Her heart cried out for him.

"Oh, Harry! What happened? Who did this!?" she was terrified and tried to control the quake in her voice. Ron sprang up.

"Ginny! What are you doing here? You should be in the castle! No ones allowed out-"

"Doesn't seem to be stopping you! Oh god, oh god," she said looking over at Harry again.

"Your making things worse with your hysterics. Just leave!" she matched Ron's glare, and hurried over to check on Harry.

"Ginny! Stay back! You'll hurt him!" Hermione shrieked, as Ginny laid a hand on his leg. Ginny stumbled back a little, tears welling in her eyes. Hermione was always so kind to her, including her whenever possible. She had never snapped at her before...

"Goddamn it, Ginny, can't you just leave?" Harry said, his words piercing through her heart. He softened his tone a little. "You're in the way, and if your not careful you'll get hurt," she couldn't see through the thick tears well enough to see the true meaning of the statement.

"I already am," she whispered, her words barely audible. So she left, flying back through the door, then slowing to trudge along. A new understanding came over her. A heart wrenching, gutting understanding, but an understanding all the same. She could never be part of that group of friends. What they had was beyond what the eye could see, and she simply did not have what it took to be part of it. So that was that.

*******

She stepped in past Hagrid, and looked around finding that everything was exactly the same as the year before. She spotted Seamus sitting at the table, and his good looks made her heart hurt. No one should be allowed that gorgeous hair, and toned body. She composed herself as best she could, brushing a hair out of her face and tugging at her skirt. She cleared her throat and Seamus looked up.

"Ginny? Is that you? My, well don't you look nice," Ginny tried her best to look unimpressed, and business like. Hagrid poured her a cup of tea, and offered her a chair at the table. She thanked him but expressed her hopes that she wouldn't be staying long.

"Why weren't you in your room? I asked you to meet me there," Ginny said in exasperation.

"You did? When?" Seamus looked confused.

"In my letter! You did get it, didn't you?"

"No."

"Cassie," Ginny muttered under her breath, then continued. "Seamus, we need to talk."

"Well, of course, we have so much to catch up on!" Ginny sighed, looking briefly at the ceiling.

"No, there is nothing to catch up on. I need to talk to you, and I'd like to keep it short," Ginny was curt, but got her message across. Seamus suggested they take a walk around the grounds, so Ginny said a short goodbye to Hagrid and followed him out the door.

"Now, what's this all about, Gin?" Seamus said, slightly annoyed but more worried.

"Well..." she paused. All of a sudden all her courage fled and she stood still wondering how on earth she was supposed to go through with this. "Yes, well, the thing is-"

"Out with it, Gin."

"All right then. Seamus, am I evil?" Ginny said, completely serious. Seamus in turn burst out laughing, and Ginny went red with rage. "Seamus Finnigan you stop that right now! Stop it!" she stomped her foot, and quickened her pace. Seamus jogged to keep up.

"Okay, okay. I'm done. I'm not laughing at you Ginny; it's just the question. I mean here I am expecting some hard question for the ex-boyfriend, and I get 'Am I evil?' I never saw that one coming," Ginny fixed him with a look that said 'I'm not amused.'

"Seamus, let me repeat. Am-I-EVIL?" she said, enunciating every word carefully, especially the last.

"You're serious then? Why, do you think you're evil?"

"I'm in no mood for games. You know exactly what I mean, and why I'm asking you. Do you really want me to spell it out for you?" Seamus turned sullen and looked at Ginny very carefully, assessing her. He decided she meant business.

"Aw, Gin, you know I hate talking about that."

"Yes, I know. But I need an answer Seamus, and you're the only one who can give me one."

"Do you think I would have dated you if you were?" Seamus was gifted. He had inherited a rather unique and uncommon gift-the ability to discern spirits. Seamus could sense the evil or goodness in a person. He felt, however, that it was a large burden to know these things. What happened if your best friend turned out to be evil? Or your girlfriend?

"That's why I asked."

"Because I dated you? You lost me..."

"No, Seamus. Because of the way we dated. Our relationship was...well you know how it was Seamus. One day it was on, next it was off. I just thought maybe it was because of me. Because I was..." Ginny trailed off staring of sadly at the castle.

"Because you were evil? No, Ginny. It was never that. You have to understand, my gift doesn't work in basic ways. I can't always tell whether someone is pure evil or not. There are many different levels of evil. Ginny," his gentle hands turned her face to look at him. "Do you want me to tell you the truth?" she nodded slowly.

"There was the potential," she looked at him questioningly. "Ginny, you are an amazing witch, very talented, and filled with spirit. Often times, with someone such as you, this provides a great deal of potential for evil. Now, hear me out. This doesn't make you evil. It is the choices you make that decide that. All it means is you could go either way, and be very useful to the side you choose," Ginny nodded, but still looked hurt. "Ginny that never affected our relationship-I promise. You were always a passionate individual, and I loved that. Sometimes, things just don't work out."

"Well why? Why didn't it work out between us?" Seamus stared at her, then sighed.

"The relationship just wasn't good for either of us."

"Or was it me who wasn't good for either of us?"

"You don't really think that do you?" Seamus said. "Oh, Ginny..." he said quietly, his hear aching for her.

They walked in silence for a long time. Ginny's thoughts were churning. Then, without meaning to, Ginny silently forgave Seamus. Everyone made mistakes. She had most certainly seen that exemplified throughout the day. Silently, with her eyes still fixed straight ahead, she reached out her hand and hooked it into Seamus's. She felt his eyes on her, but didn't look. Then, he squeezed her hand. They walked the rest of the way around the lake just like that.

*******

The rest of the week passed bye in a flurry. Ginny went back to work, her mind somewhat cleared. Yet, with certain relief, came more to think about. She had potential. What was that all about? She had said she understood, but not really. All it means is you could go either way, and be very useful to the side you choose. And what about that? Did that mean she was supposed to be some sort of prodigy? She didn't think she could handle that.

When she was not at work, she tried to stay locked in her room at home. That Monday had left her emotions raw, and she often just felt like crying. On Tuesday when she had started crying lightly at lunch, her mother had nearly gone hysterical with worry. After that, she thought it best to stay hidden away when she felt the urge to cry. Or scream. She's done that a few times to.

There was just so much to think about...all those memories, good and bad, fresh in her mind. It was terrible and wonderful. Those few memories brought forth so many more. She found herself sitting for hours at a time reading in some comfortable chair, and not turn the page once.

By Friday, she was fairly done with memory land, and ready to get back to real living. So when Hermione called Friday night to see about getting together for lunch on Saturday, she graciously accepted.

So now she sat waiting for Hermione, in a lovely little teahouse in London. Just then, Hermione rushed in, a gust of snow blowing in behind her. Ginny waved at her, and she hurried over.

"So sorry I'm late," she said, picking up a menu. "The trial went late, and it ended up being recessed till tomorrow anyway," Ginny smiled at her animated chatter, while picking out her meal from the menu. Soon the waiter came to take their order, and once they had their tea (Ginny's raspberry as always), they settled into conversation.

"Oh my, Ginny, how are you doing?" Ginny took a moment to consider whether to delve into the recent issues, or just stick with a casual 'I'm fine.' She had just decided to let Hermione in on everything, when all she could think of was Hermione telling her off in Hagrid's Hut. She knew it was a stupid grudge to hang onto, but she wasn't in the mood for being reasonable.

"I'm just fine, and you?" Hermione, however, held nothing back, and started in on the latest story. Ginny listened with an open mind, and laughed at all the right parts. She swallowed her pride, and the grudge along with it. Still somehow, she didn't want to share her problems. So, they remained sitting heavily right over her heart.

"So, how's Ron?" Hermione asked. Ginny looked up from her croissant sandwich.

"Ron? Oh, yes, he's fine," she went to take a bite, but then stopped with the sandwich hanging in midair. She was sick to death of the way she was treating Hermione. Let what happened in the past, stay in the past, for Gods sake. Hermione's my friend! "Actually, no, no he's not so fine. He's always coming in and leaving at insane hours of the day. And when he does come home, he's pretty scratched up. It's hard, you know? This war...'cause it's being fought behind closed curtains. I just keep forgetting we're in a war. Life's so normal, that it's hard to think battles are being fought not so far away."

Hermione placed a friendly hand on Ginny's shoulder, "I know, Ginny, I know. It's got us all messed up. Life seems perfectly normal, and then we see people like Ron, and know that everything's changed," she sipped at her tea, before replying. She needed a minute to think.

"Why though? I mean, why is everything so veiled. In the last war, I hear battles were being fought in the streets-even the muggle ones. Why is You-Know-, oh why bother, Voldemort doing this?"

"That's something we may never know. We can't try to understand the ways of a mad man. There's just no use," Hermione frowned looking at the depressed look on Ginny's face. "But come on then, let's talk about something else. Oh! I hear Fred's engaged!"

"Oh, right! Indeed he is. To Angelina-you remember her don't you?" Ginny put on a cheerful smile.

"Angie? Of course! She was always so nice to me. And of course she played quidditch with Harry..."

"How is Harry?" Ginny said, trying to sound nonchalant. She hadn't seen him since the family dinner, and had been a bit disappointed that he'd failed to talk to her about anything serious, like Ron had hinted.

"Oh, he's fine. I've heard talk he's interested in some girl. Red hair, brown eyes...you know her?" Hermione winked, and Ginny blushed.

"I don't know what you're talking about. And don't have me on like that," she carefully averted her eyes.

"Having you on? Who says? Guess you'll just have to wait and see," Hermione said mysteriously.

"Your evil!" Ginny said laughing, and hitting her playfully.

"I know..." Hermione took a bite of the chocolate cake they were splitting, and then shoved it towards Ginny.

"Oo...I probably shouldn't. It looks really fattening..." Hermione rolled her eyes, and slid it farther her way. Ginny needed no further persuading. She dug her fork into the cake. It was delicious, and between the two of them, they finished it in no time. When lunch was over, Hermione apologized but said she had to rush back to the office. Ginny said she understood, and followed Hermione out the door. They walked together to the end of the block, where they would take different turns.

"Oh Ginny, it's been so much fun. We've got to get together again soon," Ginny nodded in agreement. "In the meantime, you take care of yourself, okay? And call me if you have anything you need to talk about."

"Meh," was all Ginny could manage.

"Ok, well, remember that," she leaned in and gave Ginny a sisterly hug. As Hermione walked off, Ginny's tongue found it's way to the familiar corner of her mouth. She sighed, and walked off in the opposite direction. She was originally planning to do a little Christmas shopping, and then Apparate home, but she ended up just walking around. She had just come from a charming park, and was walking through a little neighborhood, when she stumbled upon a Chapel. It was quaint, and strategically placed to draw in the neighborhood families.

For no apparent reason, Ginny found herself gravitating towards it. It had such a comforting appeal, and that was something she could use right then. So, before she knew it, she was wandering into the church. Inside, there were two sections of pews divided by an isle in the middle. At the front by the pulpit, a priest and a nun were deep in talk. The chapel was beautiful, with stained glass, and friendly lighting.

Then, all of a sudden, Ginny's head began to pound. Her temples throbbed, and Ginny's hands flew to clutch at her head. She let out an awkward sort of high-pitched groan, as her head began to spin. The priest and nun looked up and took notice of her. The priest hurried towards her looking concerned.

"Young lady, are you alright? Can we help you?" his voice sounded so loud that her head exploded with pain. Their footsteps stomped through her head, and she felt herself stumbling backwards from the pain. The nun reached out to help her, and when her hand made contact with Ginny's skin it burned. Ginny let out a piercing scream, and grabbed onto a pew for support. She felt panicked, and scared, and confused, but most of all she felt pained. Then, from somewhere in the very back of her mind came a voice. It was a deep handsome voice, one filled with power. It was the voice of her dreams. Leave. Leave. Leave. Leave.

Then the pain fled away. It left so fast that Ginny became light headed, almost drunk, from the relief. The nun came forward, seeing Ginny straighten up.

"Miss? Miss?" and she was falling.

Pieces of broken glass. Sweet Stolen Kisses. Salty tears. Smeared makeup. Cold Cocoa. Wind chimes singing. A cut on her left arm at three. The first taste of snow. Grass on bare feet. Tumble dried laundry. Crinkling bags. Glossy cover spread. Ink on Parchment. Made-up tunes mixed with sorbet dreams. At fifty, finding her way through the woods to the tree where the letters D and G were carved in a heart. Courteous blankets of roses falling down to cloud all...

A Single Scream.

******* *******

You will fly and you will crawl,

God knows even angels fall.

No such thing as you've lost it all,

God knows even angels fall.