Disavowals

Chapter Fourteen - Risoluto

The first thing that Theo noticed when he awoke was the ceiling. It was white. It closely resembled that of the Hospital Wing. It was not the sky, and given the last place he remembered being - the front doorstep - that was definitely a good thing.

As more of the room came into focus, it became clear that this was the Hospital Wing. The sun was shining brightly in through the windows, enough to make him squint. He appeared to be the only inhabitant. Groggily, Theo pushed himself up. He was tucked up in one of the beds, still in his school robes. Lifting his arm, he could see that his wrists were encased in white bandages. They ached dully. So did the ankle he'd managed to scorch. When he looked under the sheets, that was bandaged as well.

He rubbed his forehead. All things considered, he wasn't feeling too bad.

Oooh. Okay. Maybe I won't try standing up just yet. At least this is better than my dorm. Or the forest. Or even the front doorstep.

"Ah, Mr Nott, you're awake!" Madam Pomfrey said, bustling in. "You've got everyone very puzzled, I must say. Turning up in the middle of the night like that instead of in bed where you should have been. Here, drink this."

She handed him a glass half-full of some sort of potion; Theo didn't look too closely before he drank. It tasted every bit as bad as that brief glimpse had foretold. Potions, in his experience, always did. But the ache in his wrists did ease.

"Who knows I'm in here?" was the first thing he asked. "I-"

"Who do you not want to know?" Madam Pomfrey said, frowning.

"My dormmates." Like their attitude towards him was any sort of secret. "I think they were responsible for where I ended up, and I'd rather they didn't get the chance to finish the job before I'm up and about."

The matron's eyebrows shot up. "Well. I see. The Headmaster asked to see you as soon as you were awake. Professor Snape did, too." She turned, presumably to fetch his execution committee.

"Don't you dare move while I get them," she added over her shoulder.

Theo leant back against the headboard, and crossed his arms. The beautiful weather outside only served to make his mood worse.

Well, I am alive, at least...

...and now I have to face an inquisition, all because I had the bad taste to be the victim of a murder attempt. Oh, wonderful.

He could almost hear Snape's biting voice in his head. You should have been more careful - Slytherins are not victims! We do not let ourselves be ambushed!

Theo didn't know the Headmaster well enough to have any idea what his reaction would be, but he didn't want to know. His father might call Dumbledore an old fool, and the Headmaster had managed to be fired twice during Theo's time at the school - but he was still the Headmaster, which spoke of at least some competence, and still head of the Wizengamot, and still not to be taken lightly. Not to mention that Theo owed Dumbledore quite a lot for finding him sanctuary with Monique and Callum. That was a debt of honour Theo hadn't the least idea how to repay.

Theo passed the time in between Madam Pomfrey's disappearance and Dumbledore and Snape's arrival by checking under the bandages to see how much damage he'd actually done to his wrists. The sight made him wince. Even given the anaesthetic effects of tiredness and terror, he couldn't believe he'd managed to draw blood. Maybe that Thestral had got him as well as the rope.

"How are you feeling, Mr Nott?" Dumbledore greeted him. The Headmaster seated himself next to the bed in a sweep of robes. Snape remained standing, looking murderous, and Theo suppressed the urge to jump out of bed and run.

"Madam Pomfrey was quite upset when you were brought in," Dumbledore continued. "She has had to deal with injured students in the middle of the night before, but I don't think we've ever found one collapsed on the doorstep."

"The door was locked." Theo couldn't stop the disgust in his voice. "I was trying to not collapse on the doorstep, but there wasn't much choice."

"The question, Nott," Snape said bitingly, "is what you were doing out there in the first place! According to your dormmates, you never returned to your dormitory last night. According to Madam Pince, you left detention at twenty past eleven. What happened?"

"The very question we are all wondering," Dumbledore added softly. He regarded Theo over the top of his glasses. "Madam Pomfrey informs me that your state was consistent with struggling against ropes for a considerable period of time, mild exposure to the cold, and exhaustion. There was also mild burning on your ankles which defied explanation. And Hagrid, this morning, found some charred ropes in the Thestral clearing. With blood on them. I take it there is a connection?"

Theo's gaze flicked from Headmaster to his Head of House. Neither of them suggested the obvious, so he stated it.

"I was Stunned on my way back from detention. I woke up in the Forbidden Forest, tied up. Very securely." He hesitated. "I only got out because Malfoy was stupid enough to leave me my wand, and the Thestrals got attracted by blood when I'd half-sawn my wrists off and tried to eat the rope."

Snape's eyes had narrowed at the mention of Draco Malfoy, and the Headmaster tensed.

"You saw one of your attackers?"

Theo's mouth twisted wryly. "That would be what you could call founded speculation on my part, Headmaster. Draco Malfoy - and my other dormmates - had the means, obviously, opportunity, because no one can prove they didn't, and plenty of motive. They're also the only ones stupid enough to leave me my wand. Oh, and they have previously threatened retribution. Good enough, sir?"

"You cannot go around making those sorts of accusations, Mr. Nott." Snape rolled his eyes impatiently. "You have no proof."

"Indeed, you do not," Dumbledore agreed. "One of the most important principles of justice is presumed innocent until guilty, and as much as I would like to stop your - whoever did this...even I cannot, without proof. We learned that lesson in the last war, that we could not descend to our enemies' level without becoming them."

"I'm not going to make accusations," Theo said scathingly. "I know they did it. They know I know. Everyone else will make the connections. They are shortly going to find out I survived." He shrugged. "I don't need to make accusations. Sir. They'll make themselves."

"They certainly will," Dumbledore said. "I must say, it seems a very...clumsy method of execution."

"Nobody in my House does things clumsily, Headmaster," Snape retorted. "It was quite a well-thought out plan, given how much we drum into the students that entering the forest is fatal. If lacking in...ah...ethics."

"Good gracious, Severus, if Slytherins worried about ethics, where would we all be?" Dumbledore's eyes twinkled. Snape ignored the humour, eyes going once more to Theo.

"Ethics are relative," Theo said grimly.

"That's a very depressing position to take, Mr Nott," the Headmaster observed.

"If I didn't have to, I wouldn't, sir." Theo shifted in the bed, trying to look a little less invalid and more self-assured.

"Indeed." The Headmaster's expression grew serious. "The fact remains, Theodore, that you have apparently been subject to a quite serious attempt on your life. If your suspicions are correct, as they probably are, by your own Housemates."

"You should have been more careful," Snape said witheringly. As predicted. "You knew something like this was inevitable. We discussed it in detail. I recall warning you that Draco Malfoy was not the non-entity you believed him to be. If you couldn't do anything about this, then what about the next time? Or the next? What if there had been Death Eaters there? Luck runs out. Always. Do you have a plan for that?"

Theo was taken aback. Behind the sarcasm, and the biting anger, he could almost believe Snape cared what happened to him.

I suppose I am his responsibility.

I could almost feel sorry for him, in that case.

"Students should be safe in this school, Severus," said the Headmaster, turning to look at his colleague.

"They should be," Snape replied shortly. "And they're not. You can protect the students from the world, Headmaster - for a little while - but even you can't protect them from each other."

There was something very dark behind that statement, but Theo didn't care to know what it was. Snape held enough old grudges that it was possible the darkness stemmed from someone hexing his hair pink in second year.

Dumbledore sighed, and nodded. He looked...old.

"I'll be more careful, all right?" Theo said into the silence. "Look - Professors - I can't change this situation, and I don't think you can, either. But I can...be careful." It sounded so empty, but it was the only solution that appeared to present itself.

Snape frowned, looking extremely conflicted, but eventually said, "Tell Potter's little group. Tell them what happened." The words seemed to be physically painful.

"A very good suggestion," Dumbledore said. "That will provide a measure of protection. Harry and this group he has formed...they will look to their own."

"I don't need anyone to protect me," Theo began harshly, then reddened. "Er. You're probably right, sir." At least he'd back-pedalled before Snape could say anything.

"Very well, then, Mr Nott." Dumbledore rose. "I believe Madam Pomfrey intends to let you out in time for lunch. You..." He paused. "Perhaps you and Severus are right. The only advice I can offer you is to be careful. We will watch as much as we can, but there are limits."

"There always are, sir." Theo swallowed. "By the way. Thank you, for...for contacting my...for getting in touch with the O'Neills. I...I appreciated it very much."

"It was the least I could do to safeguard a student," Dumbledore said gently. "Especially since I seem unable to do so in Hogwarts itself. "

"Catriona and Liam's parents, that would have been?" Snape said out of the blue.

"Yes, sir. They're my cousins. Or so I found out."

Snape frowned. "Are they? I never would have...hmph. Miss O'Neill did leave before your arrival here." He shook his head. "At least some of my students make it out into the world safely."

"I'm doing my best, sir," Theo replied.

Snape almost smiled. "I'm certain of it, Mr Nott."

*

Anne was early to lunch, not that she needed to be - it was always relaxing in the weekends having time to eat - but because she'd slept through breakfast and was very hungry.

No wonder I slept in, she thought as she sat down. I was up half the night worrying about yesterday.

As if to counteract her fears, the sun had been shining brightly when she'd woken, and Sarah was already gone from the dormitory. Anne hadn't seen her at all this morning, and wasn't sure at all that she wanted to. Last evening hung over her like a cloud.

She'd been picked up by Ellie and Gabby almost immediately and ushered off on a walk around the lake. The weather was crisp and cool, despite the sun. Winter was approaching fast. Anne knew that the walk was to get her out of Sarah's way - on Ellie's part at least; Gabby probably just wanted someone to talk at. But it had been nice.

I should pay more attention to my friends, she'd scolded herself. Mai was right. I don't spend enough time in their world. It can't hurt.

Coming back into the castle, she'd caught sight of Terry. Her sister had run over to check if Anne was "all right, because of what happened last night and everything." Anne had assured her she was fine, now that she knew Terry had escaped to her common room unharmed.

"Hermione Granger was really mad," Terry had said, wide-eyed. "I told her what happened, and Ron Weasley had to stop her running off to give those Slytherins detention. She said she was going to talk to Professor McGonagall about it. I hope they get in lots of trouble."

"They probably won't," Anne had been forced to admit. "But I'm glad people are looking out for you."

"Of course they are, they're prefects, it's what they do," Terry had said. "I've got to go now, I'm meeting Cait."

"I'll see you around," Anne had told her. The comment about prefects had struck a sore spot.

Sarah should be watching out for us, not...whatever she's doing.

She thinks she is watching out for me. That's the worst bit.

Gabby had left them to find her boyfriend when they got to the Great Hall, but Ellie was sitting down with her to lunch. It was she who noticed the commotion at the Slytherin table first.

"What's going on over there?" Ellie said, pointing with her fork. Anne was facing the wrong way, and twisted around to look.

At first glance, nothing appeared to be happening. All Anne could see was Theo, just seating himself at one end. She caught his eyes, and he gave her a half-nod. Nothing else...wait. The Slytherin seventh years, several seats down from where Theo was serving himself just a little too casually, looked pole-axed. A couple of the girls were just looking in puzzlement from Theo to their classmates and back, but the rest - including Pansy, Millicent, and Draco Malfoy - looked positively scared. Across and down a bit from Theo, Estella Haywood spoke to him; Theo replied with a half-shrug. His sleeves shifted back a fraction. Anne narrowed her eyes. Were those bandages on his wrists?

Ellie tapped her shoulder. "Anne? Do you know why they're staring like that?"

"No," Anne said, turning back. "No idea. Just...hmm. Never mind."

"None of that," Ellie retorted. "Never mind just means you'd rather not talk about it. Spill."

"I told you about those Slytherins, last night." Anne busied herself with her lunch. "Well, I thought I saw bandages on Theo's wrists, and they're staring at him like he rose from the dead...maybe I wasn't the only one who got a visit. And maybe I wasn't the only one who had a lucky escape."

"Hmph." Ellie digested this piece of information, handing the salt to Dave Hewitt. "I think it might be safer if you stuck to groups, from now on."

"I think so, too," Anne agreed, sneaking a glance back at Theo. He looked normal enough. Just pale. "No more slipping off to the practice rooms by myself."

Mai seated herself next to Ellie, slightly breathless. "Why not? What's going on?"

"Where've you been?" Ellie asked.

"Racing Sarah back here." Mai grinned. "I won. But where's she go- oh." Her gaze fell on Anne. "Yeah. How're you, Anne?"

"Fine." Anne looked down at her plate, wishing she could lose herself in the bustle of the Hall. "Well - you know. How's Sarah?"

Mai and Ellie exchanged raised eyebrows.

"Sarah's just on one of her I-am-mature-and-wise-and-know-better-than-you bents. You were the one who ran out of the room cr- you were the one who was upset." Mai's diplomacy was slipping, today.

"Do you think -" Anne began awkwardly. "Do you think she might talk to me?"

Mai looked flustered. "Er - leave it a little while, maybe. She's not - she - you know how she is."

Anne nodded glumly. Sarah was Hufflepuff to the core. Her loyalties were fierce, and her grudges lasted for months. And months. And months. "I see."

"S'alright," Ellie said. "It's just - I mean, I can see where she's coming from, she's just going overboard a bit. She'll come round."

Just a bit. The words were bitter. Anne swallowed another bite of steak-and-kidney pie, instead.

When she got up to leave the table, Ellie halted her with sharp words. "Where are you going?"

"To talk to Theo - look, he's just leaving. I'll be in the Hall. There's people everywhere. I'll be fine."

"All right." Ellie subsided into her seat. "But you shouldn't go anywhere by yourself."

"I won't," Anne promised, and even meant it.

"I think we need to talk," Anne said when she caught Theo at the door, almost in unison with his "Can I have a word?"

They stared at each other for a moment, then smiled, and set off for the practice rooms. Or so Anne realised when they got to the fourth floor and her mind took stock of where her feet were going. It had been occupied with other things.

"How's your week been?" Theo said as they climbed the stairs.

"Nothing out of the ordinary, until last night." Anne glanced at a suit of armour wielding a fearsome pike. They hadn't been menacing for the last five years. Why should they seem so now?

His head whipped around. "What happened last night?"

It was comforting, seeing Theo look anxious for her. "A couple of things. Sarah - well, things are going from bad to worse. Worst, even. And then a couple of Slytherin seventh-years decided to...I'm not sure what they had in mind, but Terry turned up just in time."

"Terry saved you?" Theo's eyebrows shot up.

"Terry yelled at them, and they got distracted, and I got away." Anne looked around guiltily. "Actually, I'm surprised some teacher hasn't come to tell me off about that yet."

"What did you do?" Theo's grin was feral.

"Nothing very much." She lowered her voice. "But I'm sure you're not supposed to stun people in Hogwarts."

Theo snickered. "No, I don't think so." Then his face fell.

They'd reached the fourth floor by now; Anne swallowed when they came to the portion of the corridor she'd been attacked in last night. Her steps quickened unconsciously. Long-legged Theo didn't seem to notice.

"And your friend Sarah?"

Anne shrugged. Not his business, she'd told him once, and that still held, in a funny way.

"I'm being...difficult. Sarah doesn't like difficulties. She tried to lay down a few ultimatums. She's a prefect, so she thinks she has to be right, all the time, to back that up...so now she can't back down, and I won't."

"You are stubborn, sometimes."

Anne tilted her head. "So I should agree to never speak to you again, then?" It won another smile, this one slightly more strained. What on earth had occurred last night?

They had to go past the first three rooms, which were occupied (or, at least, the doors were shut) but the fourth, the piano room, their room, was mercifully free. The click of the door shutting behind them could shut out the world, as well. For a little while, until the world slipped in behind them and turned promised escape into just a longer way of reaching the same place.

Theo sat down on the room's only chair as soon as the door shut, and to Anne it looked more than a little like a collapse. He pushed his hair back off his forehead in that familiar gesture of tension. His sleeve slid down to reveal bandages wrapped snugly around his wrist. The way he grimaced when he lowered his hand suggested they were there for good reason. Anne crossed the room to sit on the piano stool.

"I had a run-in last night, too," Theo began unprompted. "It was, um, supposed to be a bit more permanent than yours. I was...lucky. Very lucky."

It was what she'd been expecting to hear since the beginning of term, but Anne still felt a chill cloaking her.

"What happened, exactly?"

Theo took a deep breath. "I was coming back from detention last night, and I got ambushed in the corridor. I was careless. I was stupid, thinking it was safe just because it was late and I was tired."

"You're not the only one," Anne admitted. "Half the reason Bulstrode and Parkinson found me is that I was upset and not looking out."

He smiled grimly. "Yes. Anyway, I woke up tied to a tree in the Forbidden Forest about one am. Needless to say I wasn't too happy about it. I managed to saw my wrists half off trying to get out."

Anne couldn't just sit there any longer. She started to get up, but Theo forestalled her.

"It's okay." He re-seated himself on the stool, next to her. Anne immediately wrapped an arm around him, picking up his left hand to examine the injured wrist carefully. A dark line of blood was beginning to seep through.

"You need to go back to the Hospital Wing."

"Later," Theo said carelessly. "It's not important." He reached up with his free hand to brush her hair back behind her ears. It lingered there; Anne leant her cheek on his shoulder, savouring the quiet touch. It sounded like the rest of this story wasn't one she really wanted to hear.

"So how come you're here?"

She could feel Theo's chuckle. "Luck, I told you. Some of Hagrid's Thestrals turned up - they smelt blood, I suppose - and tried to eat me. They started by chewing on the nice blood-soaked rope. Malfoy left me my wand. Typical arrogance from him. I managed to get out of the ropes, then I borrowed one of the Thestrals and got out of there."

"You rode on a Thestral?" Anne lifted her head to look at him incredulously. "They're invisible!"

"Not to me." He was looking pale. She was used to the circles under his eyes, but they were pronounced today.

"Oh, yes." Anne laid her head back down, signalling him to go on.

"Anyway, I got to the front door and it was locked, so I sort of collapsed on the doorstep. And that's it. I woke up in the Hospital Wing, Snape and Dumbledore came and told me off for being careless, and then I came down to lunch."

"We're supposed to be safe here." Anne didn't want to look up and see Theo's face. She could deal with him arrogant, annoyed, angry, blank, sarcastic; Theo under the weight of all this, she didn't want to see. Not again.

"Somehow I don't think Malfoy and his cronies care very much about that."

"They looked...startled."

Theo chuckled. "Oh, weren't they just? I didn't actually accuse them to their faces, but they know I know. If they do try again, they'll be far more careful."

"Why them?" Anne, despite herself, could not help speculation. "Why not Death Eaters in the forest, or -"

"I'd bet anything the Dark Lord has decided to leave Hogwarts students to Hogwarts students, since I'm not a direct threat to him like Potter or his friends are. Not to mention it's a way of proving their loyalty, since I'm a Slytherin. Call it luck; we're not important enough to warrant actual competency."

"Luck? This is bad enough!" She clutched his hand, closing her eyes. "It's not...ah, not fair, but nothing ever is."

"Look at it this way." He pulled his hand away, but only to put an arm around her. "The worst has happened, right? And now we're forewarned. I made a - I decided quite a few things, last night, so now I'm going to go through with them."

Anne had to pull back and look at him at that.

"Like what?"

She got an interesting reaction. Theo opened his mouth, closed it again, frowned, hesitated, and eventually said "Oh, things. Good resolutions, and all that."

"Such as?" Anne allowed herself a smile. At least Theo was still easy to tease.

He smiled crookedly. "You'll see."

She started to ask when, but Theo shut her up by kissing her. It was a very effective way of saying a whole lot of things Anne couldn't quite articulate, like "I'm really worried, thank God you're all right, if anything ever does happen to you I don't know what I'll do."

"Was that a resolution?" she asked when she got her breath back.

"No, that was just a good idea," Theo told her.

"No it wasn't," Anne contradicted him.

He did look hurt. "Why not?"

"You stopped."

"Not a problem."

It was a very good way of avoiding what they should have been talking about, Anne knew, but it was also a very distracting one, until Theo hissed and grabbed his left wrist. Anne had to disentangle her fingers from his hair, but she could see that the blood she'd noticed earlier was leaking out the edge and down his hand.

"Here." She pulled out a handkerchief to wipe it off.

"Thanks." Theo made a face. "Maybe I should have listened to Madam Pomfrey."

"What did she say?"

"Not to move my wrists too much."

Anne snorted. "Yes, you were following that closely. You should go back to the Hospital Wing."

"I should." He gave her a meaningful look. Anne stood up and pulled him to his feet.

"You are. Before you bleed to death."

"I wouldn't mind," he said hopefully. Anne laughed. "Come on."

He insisted on walking her to her common room before he went up to the Hospital Wing, on the grounds that she was less able to defend herself. Anne pointed out that it was the middle of the day, she had managed just fine, and he was the one who'd been ambushed, but to no avail. Chivalry was a virtue, Anne supposed.

The revelation must have affected her more than she'd thought. Ellie asked her that evening why she was being so quiet. Anne just shrugged and muttered something about Sarah. Then Gabby said "But Anne's always quiet!", and Mai agreed, and the conversation had turned to other things.

Anne leant back in her chair, staring into the fire.

So. It's started. And Theo's okay, but he's not, and I'm okay, but I'm not, and Hogwarts was safe, but it isn't, and it's all one horrible trap that I can't ever escape from no matter where I am, even in here, because of Sarah...if I didn't have Theo, what would I do?

If I didn't know Theo, none of this would be happening.

But not knowing Theo isn't worth it. I could not, and go back to quiet and safety and ignorance and being "just Anne" in the corner to everyone. Just another dead Muggle-born, maybe. No, it doesn't stop short of this war. And what am I in the DA for, but this war?

This bloody war.

*

Amidst the tension and fear, there was one bright spot. Terry ambushed Anne in the library one Sunday afternoon with good news.

"Anne, Anne, I got a letter for us, you have to come and read it!"

Madam Pince shot an impatient glare in her direction, and she lowered her voice, shifting from foot to foot with excitement. "Come on!"

"Where're you sitting?" Sarah inquired. She shot Anne a worried glance. "Anne can't go off by herself these days."

Being watched over was surely a mixed blessing, Anne thought. Despite everything, Sarah had been dragooned into doing her share of guard duty. It didn't mean she was talking to Anne, but it did mean that any Slytherin wouldn't get within ten feet of her without Sarah noticing. That included Theo. Sarah's latest inspiration, doubtless from Gabby, was to accidentally bump into half the boys in their year while Anne was with her. Today's victim was Sarah's ex-boyfriend and fellow prefect Jeremy, who was sitting across from Anne. In compensation, it was darkly amusing. Sarah didn't like Jeremy very much anymore. She had to be desperate.

"I'm just over there with Cait and Alex and Jake, why can't she go anywhere?" Terry pointed to a table in the corner where three second-years could be seen arguing quietly. Or possibly not. Gryffindor discussions had the tendency to resemble arguments even when they were amicable.

"I won't be going out of your sight," Anne put in, standing hastily. Anything to get away from the circling tensions of Jeremy and Sarah's mutual dislike, Sarah's anger at her, her own discomfort at Jeremy's presence and resentment of Sarah, and everything else.

"I suppose she'll be okay." Sarah peered over at Terry's table, probably waiting for Theo to spring out of the woodwork. Anne was dreading the day when Theo showed up while Sarah was on guard. It would be hell trying to get away from her then. Why did she insist on pretending Anne didn't exist when she was only here because Anne was?

"Come on!" Terry grabbed Anne by the hand and started pulling her towards the corner table. Oh, and Mum said in her letter that you haven't written back and she was wondering why."

Anne grimaced. "Work. Life. Er...stuff. I'll try and write tonight." Perhaps she had been neglecting her letters home a little bit. If Theo could manage them, she surely could.

"Why did Sarah say you couldn't go anywhere?"

"Those Slytherin girls. You know. She's worried about me."

"I don't like her," Terry announced loudly enough to make Anne look around at Sarah. Fortunately, Sarah was talking to Jeremy. Miracles did occur.

"Why not?"

"Theo said she doesn't like him. And she doesn't talk to you."

Anne bit back a grin over the irony of Terry disliking someone because the person in question disliked Theo. "You didn't use to like Theo very much either."

"I changed my mind." Terry pulled out a chair at her table for Anne. "Anne, this is Cait McDonnell and Alex Archer and Jake Oram, you remember them, don't you?" The Gryffindors in question gave her chirpy greetings. Terry did seem to attract people like herself.

"Yes, I do," Anne said, sinking into the chair. "Hello."

"Look at this!" Terry grinned as she shunted the letter that had her so excited over to Anne, who took it obediently.

She frowned at the shaky handwriting. The first part looked like it was written by a eight-or-nine year old, but who -

"Another letter from Nic and Eddie?" she said out loud.

"Yes!" Terry was practically jumping out of her chair. "I told you they'd write again!"

The contents of the letter weren't that important. Just telling them what Nic and Eddie were doing, and asking about life at Hogwarts. But the fact of the letter at all...that was a surprise, and a good one. Anne had glumly expected her brother to give up after one, since he'd sounded so uncharitable in it.

...so you can see nothing much is happening here. I hope life isn't too exciting for you - it sounds like that wouldn't be good. Write to us soon.

Eddie and Nicola.

PS I miss you. Come home for Christmas soon. See you then.

"That's nice of them," Anne said slowly. "Did we write back to the first one? I can't remember."

"I did. You didn't. Eddie said he stopped writing ages ago because you never wrote back," Terry informed her blithely, innocent of the pointed attack in the words. "We should write back to them."

They wrote again anyway, when I never bothered... Is this a peace offering? I'll take it, then. I miss them, here, but not as much as I missed magic when I was at home, because I'm used to them being away, but not used to the absence of magic; and I need these reminders of my family and what they mean to me. I need these reminders that there is more to me than the person I am here, because I remember with the summers and forget with the other seasons. I need you to accept what I am, Eddie, and I need you to be there for Nic. Thank you for trying again, even if I didn't bother.

I suppose I can learn something from him, after all.

"That's the letter from your brother, isn't it?" asked the girl Anne thought was Alex. "Mine never wrote to me when he was at school. You're lucky."

"We are," Anne agreed. "Look, Terry, I should get on with my work, but do you want to meet me here after dinner on Tuesday and we'll write the letter?"

"Can't on Tuesday, I've got detention." Terry had the grace to look guilty when Anne frowned. "It was an accident, really..."

Jake rolled his eyes. "Terry, you can't hex someone by accident."

"You what?" Anne raised her eyebrows.

Terry squirmed in her seat. "Well, there were these Slytherins, see, and they were calling Jake and me...things, and, er, there was sort of a fight, and Professor Snape sort of caught us." For a moment, she looked plaintive. "He's never given me detention before."

"That's only because you like Potions and no-one else does. I think it was a House record." Cait sniffed. "He hates Gryffindors."

"Hey, you're in Harry Potter's DA, aren't you?" Jake asked Anne, turning to her.

Anne nodded. "Yeah."

"Wow." He looked very impressed.

"I really do need to get back to Sarah," Anne told Terry apologetically.

"Okay," Terry agreed, looking relieved. "I'll see you on Friday."

"See you then," Anne said, getting up. Sarah frowned at her when she got back to their table. "You took a while."

"I'm not a child," Anne snapped back, startling herself. For some reason, it worked; Sarah blinked, opened her mouth, and closed it. Jeremy looked disgruntled at Anne's return.

Please tell me he's not stupid enough to try dating Sarah after fourth year. Anne shrugged mentally. None of her business, and it might get Sarah off her back. Right now she needed to concentrate on writing half of a letter she should have written years ago, and not the lurking idea that asserting herself to Sarah, also years ago, might have stopped Sarah deciding that she could make Anne's decisions for her. She'd seen what asserting herself to Sarah got her, and it was this frigid silence.

If only I could write a letter to Sarah explaining this.