Disavowals

Chapter 13 - Accelerando

Theo knew that he was tired when the corridor near the entrance to his common room began to seem like an attractive place to lie down and sleep. Certainly, it was dark and cold and very possibly damp. On the other hand, it was not his dormitory and his eyelids were fighting a losing battle with sleep. Getting detention with Madam Pince had not been a good idea. Not that it had been his idea. It had been Draco Malfoy's. Or at least he presumed so. Someone in his dormitory who'd torn several pages out of one of the library books he'd had. The one on wards, ironically, because he had been stupidly careless enough to leave it beside his bed instead of locking it safely away in his trunk. The wards on his trunk remained unbroken; warding his bed was second nature, before he went to sleep, as was checking it for nasty surprises before he got in. Leaving the book out had invited an attack. He'd known that any misstep on his part would cause the descent of the vultures. Madam Pince had given him detention when he returned the book, and he hadn't bothered complaining. There was no point. No proof. Snape had given him a lecture about it, too, mostly around the subject of being stupid enough to let it happen.

The end result had been four hours of shelving and the resulting stumble back to the Slytherin common room at a ridiculously late hour. He was tired; the shadows seemed to be waiting, menacingly, to creep up and devour him the minute his eyes closed. Maybe Peeves was somewhere nearby. He'd become much bolder since fifth-year, even with Dumbledore's return -

A swish of robes behind him gave it away. Theo had just enough time to think I'm an idiot before the world went black.

*

Anne rolled over again, trying to find a comfortable position. Sleep was eluding her, tonight. It wasn't through lack of tiredness; she had been quite weary enough to fall asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow. It was a combination of fear, tinged with guilt, and spiced with anger. The fear stemmed from after dinner, when she had been cornered on her way to the practice rooms - to do homework, not music; Theo was serving detention in the library, and probably didn't need the distraction. The common room...she didn't want to think about that.

Pansy Parkinson and Millicent Bulstrode, who seemed to be very well-informed about Anne, had attacked at first only with barely veiled threats. Just as she'd been shrinking against the wall and wondering if she could hex both of them in time to get out of there, salvation had come in the unlikely form of Terry.

"What are you doing to my sister?" Terry had yelled from behind the girls. "Leave her alone, you bullies!"

Pansy and Millicent had not been particularly intimidated by one under-sized second year, but they had turned their backs on Anne for just long enough for Anne to discover that practice might not make perfect, but it did make her Stunning spell strong enough to take down Millicent Bulstrode.

Anne hadn't recognised Pansy Parkinson's curse, although it had sounded...ominous, but the other girl hadn't planned on Terry cannoning bodily into her, sending the hex splashing harmlessly off a wall, and letting Anne disarm her. Deciding discretion was the greater part of valour, she'd taken to her heels, dragging a protesting Terry along, and pausing only to drop Pansy's wand when she was back in the main, well-travelled corridors.

"Why are you leaving it?" Terry had complained. "You can't give it back -"

"If I steal it, she can complain about that. If I don't, she'll just have to keep her mouth shut," Anne said firmly. "Now get back to your common room, quickly."

"I'm not leaving you -"

"Go!"

Terry had hesitated, then left, allowing Anne to head full-tilt for her own common room and safety. She'd run smack into Professor McGonagall in the Entrance Hall.

"Miss Fairleigh!" Professor McGonagall had exclaimed. "I would have thought you knew better than to run in the corridors. That will have to be five points from Hufflepuff."

"I'm sorry, Professor," Anne had gasped out, "but some of the Slytherins -" She paused. "I can't prove it, but they were - I think they were going to - anyway, I needed to get back to my common room. Sorry."

McGonagall regarded her critically. "I...see. Which Slytherins, may I ask?"

"Pansy Parkinson and Millicent Bulstrode." Honesty had compelled her to admit, "They didn't actually do anything..."

"Did you give them time?"

Anne coughed. "No, Professor."

McGonagall pursed her lips. "Well. It seems unfair to take a student's unsupported word, when...I advise you do get back to your common room, Miss Fairleigh. And - do be careful. We can't be everywhere." Her eyes had darkened. "We shouldn't need to be."

"Thank you, Professor," Anne had said, then taken off at a more sedate pace. She'd reached the common room unmolested, only to remember the reason she hadn't wanted to go back there.

Shaking herself into the present, she rolled over again, to face the window. Sarah, beneath it, was a blanket-covered lump in the bright light of the full moon, which was streaming through the false-window which gave the cellar dormitories a glimpse of the outside world. She was sleeping peacefully. It didn't seem fair.

Rehashing things doesn't do any good, Anne told herself sternly, and closed her eyes once more.

*

Theo had a headache when he awoke. That was the first bad sign, one he recognised from being Stunned during DA meetings. The second was the fact the surface beneath him was not the hard stone of the corridor, but the alternately soft and prickly feel of the leaves and sticks of a forest floor. The rough and tightly knotted ropes tying him hand and foot weren't a good sign, either. He didn't want to open his eyes. The sinking feeling in his stomach told him things could only get worse.

They did. Opening his eyes revealed a forest clearing. Almost certainly the Forbidden Forest. The chill white light of a full moon illuminated the clearing much too well for Theo's liking. It was the one where Hagrid had shown them the Thestrals, in fifth-year. He had been dumped near the edge, in the shadow of an oak tree.

The muffled noises of night-foraging creatures were the worst bit, Theo decided. It eliminated any hope that his classmates had been stupid enough to, say, leave him out for the Thestrals to eat. No; just werewolves, or centaurs, or whatever else inhabited the forest. Wonderful. Wonderful. The whole plan smacked of Malfoy. The hands-off nature of Theo's planned demise; the elaborate ambush; the time allowed for Theo to anticipate his fate. It was petty, vengeful, and...totally Malfoyian.

Theo could feel his heart pounding, but the fight-or-flight response wasn't doing him much good.

It was late enough that they'll be pretending to have been asleep the whole time. Who'll contradict them? They'll say I just never came back...and when they do find me, oh dear, he wandered into the Forbidden Forest. Breaking the rules. So tragic. Never mind the ropes. Typical oversight.

I am going to die.

He didn't need to check to know that his wand would be go- no, wait, it was still there. It was definitely Malfoy, then. Nobody else would have the monumental arrogance to try and kill someone by tying them up in the Forbidden Forest at night and leave them their wand. Theo tried to organise his thoughts.

Right. I am tied up. I do have my wand. I can't get it out. There are werewolves. Maybe. Unless I'm imagining the sounds. Hah. Fat chance. It's the bloody Forbidden Forest. If it's not werewolves, it's something worse.

I am going to die.

Theo tried struggling against the ropes. No good; they were tight, and rough, and burned his wrists. The howling sounded closer, or was that just his imagination? Where were the Thestrals, anyway? They might have been some help. Several minutes of effort only managed to get him sitting half-way up, braced against the tree, and what good was that?

No good. He fell back against the tree. It was almost impossible to reconcile reality with....reality; surely this was some sort of bad dream. Surely. It had to be. The cold wind, the sour taste of fear, the rough ropes, the merciless white moonlight; a dream. A nightmare. It had to be.

Gritting his teeth, Theo began once more to fight the ropes. If this was a book, there would be convenient sharp stones. The only stones in sight were round, and smooth, and quite, quite useless. Malfoy and the others were going to pay for this.

If I survive to make them.

*

It was no good, Anne decided at about midnight; she really wasn't going to get to sleep ignoring things. Thank God it was Friday. She wouldn't have to sit through classes with Sarah tomorrow. She could sleep in.

It had been a truly ugly scene before she'd fled. Anne had not realised that Ellie's sensible suggestion she try talking to Sarah would degenerate so rapidly or unpleasantly. She'd approached her after dinner.

"Can I have a word, Sarah?" she'd asked hesitantly.

"Sure, always. Sit down, Anne." Sarah had pulled out the chair beside her, and Anne had dropped into it, folding her hands in her lap. "What is it?"

Sarah's voice had been tinged with wariness, but no more than normal, these days. As a Prefect, she was used to people coming to her, Anne had supposed.

"Look, Sarah..." Anne's carefully prepared phrases had already begun to float away. There had been no nice way to say what she wanted, which was, essentially, "Get your nose out of my business." Theo had been no help there. "Sarah, I know you try to look after all of us."

Sarah had shrugged. "Well, it's my job. Is something wrong?" She had frowned in concern. "Look, if it's - well, I always said that you and Nott was a bad idea, and -"

"That's just it!" Anne had said, frustration bursting out. "You keep saying it. And saying it. And it's not true. So, please - you're my friend, and I don't want to have a fight, I don't, but I'm just asking...let me make my own decisions about who I see. Please, Sarah. I hate the way things are at the moment."

It had been the wrong thing to say. When she'd spoken, Sarah's tone had been decidedly cool. "Well, you know what the solution to that is, don't you?"

Anne had hung her head. "Not your solution, Sarah."

"I'm just trying to help you!" Sarah had said. When Anne looked up, Sarah was glaring at her. "You're so - I've tried telling you, but you won't listen. It won't work, you and him. He's a Slytherin, and he's probably a Death Eater - oh, he might tell you he's not, but -"

"Sarah," Anne had said quietly, "I cannot listen to you if that's all you have to say. You're wrong."

"Be that way, then," Sarah had snarled. "I don't know what's the matter with you this year - stubborn, and blind, and - you don't want to be one of us, fine! Just fine! But don't bother talking to me until you're ready to see sense. And don't come crying to me when it goes wrong."

"I don't want to fight with you about this. There's no point," Anne had replied, desperate. "Can't we agree to disagree, or, or something?"

"You can't have it two ways. You're part of this House, or you're not. Come back when you've made up your mind." Sarah had pulled her chair around and bent her head to her books. Anne might as well have not existed.

Anne had sat there, honestly stunned. You're part of this House, or you're not? What was that supposed to mean? Was Sarah really that - that narrow, or that prejudiced?

She'd stood up, not knowing where to go. Over in the corner, she had seen Hannah Abbott looking concerned - another Prefect. Another responsible person - but for all she was in the DA, Anne did not know her well enough for comfort now.

Having no idea where the others might be, she had decided to head for the dormitory. Hopefully it was empty, and she could...well, by this point, burst into tears, probably. Upon discovering Gabby fussing around looking for her hairbrush, Anne had sat down on her bed and promptly, humiliatingly, done so.

"Oh, my - Anne, are you, uh, all right?" Gabby had asked. "I - uh - what's wrong?"

"Nothing," Anne had replied, curling up into a small bundle of misery. "It's not important."

"Oh." Anne could hear Gabby thinking. "I'll...be right back."

"No!" Anne had pulled herself out of crying long enough to say urgently, "I...don't get Sarah."

Gabby had favoured her with that "you-are-an-idiot" look. "Of course not. I'm getting Ellie."

The ten minutes or so it had taken Gabby to find Ellie - and Mai, as things turned out - had been enough time for Anne to compose herself into an occasionally-sobbing mess, rather than a bawling one. She hadn't looked up when she heard them returning, hadn't looked at anything until Ellie, much taller, had sat down beside her and pulled in her into a hug.

"Hey, Anne, it's okay. We're here."

That statement, combined with Ellie's embrace and Mai's hand on her shoulder, had done nothing more than make her start crying again.

"This is horrible," she'd wailed into Ellie's shoulder. "Sarah w-won't talk to m-me, and she - she said I w-wasn't a proper H-Hufflepuff, and it was awful. I c-can't just d-deal with her anymore. And n-now I can't s-stop crying."

"Go and talk to Sarah, Gabby," Mai had ordered.

"Why? Sarah's not upset," Gabby had said sullenly. "She can go hang."

"So she doesn't come in here, you twit," Ellie had told her in exasperated tones. "Gossip. Chat. Just keep her out."

"Oh. Right. Will do." Anne had heard Gabby's footsteps recede.

"Now," Ellie had said when the sobs had ceased and Anne had raised her head, "tell us what she said."
Anne had recounted the conversation, looking from one face to another. Ellie had stayed calm; Mai's face had darkened.

"Damn it!" she had cried, jumping to her feet to pace. "Sarah shouldn't do things like this. I mean - Anne, you did know the consequences, and I can see her - but she - this is ridiculous. This is past ridiculous, it's insane."

"And a half," Ellie had agreed, glowering. "Here, Anne." She'd handed Anne a handkerchief. Anne had taken it gratefully. Her face had been sticky with drying tears.

"Look, Anne," Mai had said, turning around to face her, "I think you'd better just...stay out of Sarah's way for a while. Until we can talk her round."

"That won't be hard," Anne had replied, voice rusty. "I don't want to talk to her much."

"I don't s'pose you do, but Anne, you've got to remember...she's mad at you, too." Ellie had sounded hesitant. "As far as she's concerned, you're putting Nott over your friendship with her."

"It's not like that!" Anne had protested. "I'm not putting anyone over anything - it's not one or the other. Besides, I've been friends with him for years, and it hasn't changed anything."

"She's mad you didn't say anything to us, too," Mai had added. "Don't forget - she won't say this to you, but she's said it to us. She just wants you to be the way you were. You know, not doing strange things. But," she had said quickly, "she's totally out of order on this one, we know. Your life is your life, whatever...whatever weird things you do with it. Even if - whatever you do."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence," Anne had sniffled.

"It's all right," Ellie had said, rubbing Anne's shoulder. "We're not going to walk away over this. Sarah will come round, you'll see."

"I just want her to...accept what is. Not change. Just let me be." Anne had felt the upset, and the anger, draining away, leaving...hollowness. Why couldn't life be simple? "I think...I'm going to go and do some studying somewhere else." She would go to the practice rooms; they should be empty. The quiet would be nice.

Then, she recalled, had come the run-in with the Slytherins, and the slow walk back to the common room. And the stiff silence of the dormitory. She pulled the blankets up around her chin; she had to get some sleep, or she'd be worn out tomorrow.

And what do I say to Theo? I had a little argument with Sarah, and I'm upset. His dormmates will probably try murder if they get the chance. It's nothing. Not compared to what he's got on his plate, this year. He's probably sleeping less soundly than I am, tonight.

But he'll listen. I need him to listen. Just to know I'm doing the right thing.

I'll talk to him tomorrow.

*

It was lucky, Theo reflected, that the slight breeze was blowing towards him. Of course, it carried all the ominous noises of the forest with frightening clarity, but at least it wasn't carrying his scent, his noises, towards...whatever was out there.

It was a miracle he was still alive. He'd been there at least an hour; the moon had shifted position, and the shadows in the clearing were now slanting towards him. His wrists were raw and bloody, and the ropes burnt like fire. He could see patches of his own blood staining them, from the futile struggle to loosen the knots.

Stupid. I should have stopped when I realised the ropes wouldn't give. Now my wrists hurt like hell, and I'm no nearer to escaping. Oh, and there's blood. Just in case I needed anything more to attract the werewolves, or dragons, or giants, or manticores, or whatever else lives in this damned forest.

He would have stopped when his wrists began to chafe, but it was amazing how the prospect of sudden death could motivate you. For one thing, slowing down was almost impossible. For another, it sharpened your mind wonderfully. All sorts of morbid things floated to the surface.

Alas, poor Theodore, I knew him well...

No! I will not be fatalistic!

He'd made all sorts of good resolutions tonight. It would be a real pity if he never got to put any of them into practice.

Anne, for one. Theo didn't know what he could sacrifice that was precious enough to get her here, but if he knew, he'd gladly have given it. About half an hour in, when his wrists had really begun to hurt, he'd found himself facing the - not a revelation, exactly, but an admission, perhaps - that, when it came down to it, he did, he suppose, love her. Not that he'd ever have denied it, it was just that it was a very...big thing to say, or think. Or feel, come to that. But that was the heart of his second resolution; if he wasn't eaten by something only Hagrid could love in the next hour, he was going to tell her. Maybe not soon. But he was definitely going to tell her sometime..

And the O'Neills, of course. Looking back on it, he'd been quite...stand-offish, really. Writing to them had bridged the gap, but he wasn't going to waste the opportunity. His father...what happened there would happen. Had happened, probably. But the O'Neills were not trying to replace the family he'd lost, and he wasn't going to try that either. They just were family, and he could appreciate them as that. He would.

Then there was Terry. He would have given anything to see her walk into the clearing, as small and annoying as she was. If he got out of here, he was definitely going to be nicer to her. A bit. More polite, perhaps.

His classmates. They were going to pay for this. They were definitely going to pay. He was not going to stop until he found a way - some way, any way - to bring them down. He might have joked with Anne about daggers in his back, but this was it. They were not going to walk away from this unscathed.

The rest of his year, too; the DA, who were comrades, not friends. He wished they were here. He was definitely going to appreciate them in future. The Hufflepuffs, especially, who had given him a place to simply be when his House had turned on him. In large doses, Theo suspected he would get quickly annoyed by them, but in small ones, they were more than tolerable. Even Zacharias Smith was okay if he kept his mouth shut. Ernie Macmillan was almost, well...friendly. That was decent of him. It wasn't as if he'd had any reason to.

These righteous thoughts were interrupted by a movement in the shadows on the edge of the clearing. Theo froze. He could hear his heart pounding, erratically, in his ears. Despite himself, he began to strain against the ropes again; the pain was nothing compared to the need to get out.
The shadow resolved into a Thestral, black as the night and twice as eerie. The horse - horses, there were several - plodded towards him. Theo wished he could say "amiably."

They eat meat. I - it's not fair, it's not -

The nearest one was close enough to touch, if Theo's arms had been free, and he stared into its eyes with something approaching manic calm. If it did try to eat him, there was nothing he could do. Absolutely nothing. Not that it would. That was ridiculous.

It didn't feel very ridiculous.

The Thestral bent its head, and sniffed at the bloodstained rope at Theo's wrists. Its tongue, black as the rest of it, flicked out, and Theo stifled a hiss as it touched his bleeding wrists. If the thing tried to eat has hands, what was he going to do -

Impossibly, he felt the pressure on his wrists lighten, then drop away. He opened his eyes. The Thestral was trying to eat the rope.

"You stupid thing!" Theo exclaimed joyously. "You stupid, stupid horse!" The Thestral bent its head to worry at the rope, and Theo seized freedom to reach for his wand. A quick Incendio set the ropes around his feet burning. The Thestrals shied away from the flame, which burnt through the ropes rapidly. In the process it set the bottom of Theo's robes on fire, and there was a lot of yelping and undignified rolling on the ground before it went out. As it was, his ankles felt burnt.

He stumbled upright, trying to shake the feeling back into his hands and feet. Offhand he couldn't remember feeling worse in his life, but he was free, and alive, and - was that the sound of something crashing through the nearby bushes?

Theo looked around, heart-rate rocketing again. If he climbed a tree - Bowtruckles were a much better proposition than whatever was coming -

A nearby stump caught his eye, and without conscious thought he was grabbing the Thestral by the mane, and coaxing it over. He stumbled jumping up on it, and it took several tries to mount the Thestral, shaky as he was. But he got there in the end, and the not-so-stupid horse had enough sense to unfold its wings and be up and away before something large and dark with far too many legs scuttled into the clearing. Theo heard the click of...pincers?

He didn't really want to know.

"Hogwarts," he said into the Thestral's ear. This was a very different proposition from riding a broom. Much less secure. "Can you get to Hogwarts?"

It turned out to be a very intelligent horse, after all, because in a few short seconds it was gliding down to land in front of the main door. Theo dismounted, prying white-knuckled hands off the thing's mane one finger at a time. Exhaustion was really setting in, now, a combination of post-adrenaline collapse and the fact that it was well past midnight. Two a.m., in fact, by his watch. He'd been out there for two and a half hours.

It fitted in with everything else that night that the main door was locked. Solidly locked. He tried pounding on it, but he was too weary to do that more than a couple of times. The Thestral had taken off again. He slid into a puddle of robes at the foot of the door. Part of his brain pointed out that Hagrid's hut might yield results, but he couldn't make his body move.

At least there weren't any werewolves, he thought fuzzily as blackness overtook him once more.

*

Anne muttered to herself as she drifted off to sleep. This was ridiculous; it was past two. She was going to be an absolute wreck in the morning. At least it was Saturday tomorrow.

Here's hoping it'll be better than today. Theo can't have had much fun either, he had detention. Oh, wait, it is Saturday already...I wonder what time he got to sleep? Probably earlier than this.

Lucky him.