The Pensieve of Bellatrix Black

Looking down at her left hand, another wave of shock swept through her. A foreign object was on her ring finger. Her eyes examined the intricate designs on it. The exquisite details and size of jewels were a perfect representation of the nobility and grace of the Lestrange family. Bellatrix Lestrange. The name rolled off her tongue as if it had always been that way. She would remain a Black, but she would be part of another family's legacy as well.

Bellatrix Black was engaged. She had been, officially, for twenty eight hours now. This meant that details of her conversation with Rodolphus the previous afternoon were still fresh, but the feeling still seemed surreal. Bellatrix felt like it hadn't happened. She almost continually glanced down at the ring because she couldn't believe it was there. She also couldn't quite decide if she felt good about it or not. Her emotions were still raw from her conversation with Tom Riddle. Recalling it brought up a lot of confusion. Tom, The Dark Lord, she had started calling him, had told her to marry Rodolphus. She accepted this as an assignment, and knowing that what she felt for Tom would never be reciprocated. This admission had been followed by her realization that Snape, the skinny little prat, had been closer to Tom than she ever would be. With a bleeding heart and all the confused anger to go along with it, Bella had spent the following few days after speaking with Tom thinking a lot. Very few people saw her at all, and she would hardly know herself. She would only return to her house as a whole person once more after her engagement with Rodolphus had been finalized, but it would take a grueling couple days to get there.

***Previously***

Bellatrix apparated into her room and quickly grabbed a few things. Narcissa had come in to talk to her, but had stopped in the doorway. Bella was flailing about angrily, drawers were being flung open and clothing was flying all over the place.

"In about another minute, the house elves will think you left a herd of hippogryffs in here, Bel."

"No. Just a very agitated woman who hates her sister's ex-boyfriend, but hates her leader even more." With that, Bella thrust some last things in the small bag she had been packing and flung it over her shoulder.

"I'll be gone for a few days. Don't wait up, Cis."

It took Bella a while to get a grip on her feelings. She spent three days in the forest, on what she would later refer to as her "Pilgrimage of Purging." By refraining from using magic whenever possible, she could concentrate solely on her life as she meandered through the trees. Everything was seen through the red haze and raw hurt that consumed her. Wandering aimlessly, she tried to grasp how she had been so disillusioned by Tom Riddle. Then, the haze cleared to reveal a shocking reality: she had fallen in love with Tom Riddle. A man who people feared. A man with more self-education in the Dark Arts than anyone would want to think about. In many ways, he was horrible because every person was simply a resource he would exploit to advance his own status and meet his goals.

Riddle had never been sincere; he had only seen the potential for loyalty in a young woman. Bella would never hold any special place except to be useful. Snape had worked his way in because he knew there were no feelings from the beginning. But Bella couldn't switch now. Riddle would always put up a front of caring to make sure he kept a firm grasp on his resource. Bella would always fight with a fervor that seems to branch from love. In reality, she'd abandon her romantic feelings and replace them with untainted dedication. In order to play the role, however, she'd need a real relationship to survive. There was an order Bella hadn't carried out yet. But she wouldn't treat it as an order. Bellatrix would take whatever passion she had felt and put it into forming a relationship with Rodolphus. As a fighter, she needed support to compensate for all she would give for the cause. Rodolphus was a Death Eater. There would be no lying to each other of the danger they were in, or the horribly noble things they would do. With a goal for happiness she had been denied her whole life, she apparated back to her house.

Narcissa read a line in the Daily Prophet article about Artemisia Lufkin for the fifth time. She was having trouble concentrating. She had tidied up her sister's room herself and it as nearly sparkling clean. She had hardly slept the last few days and had never once left her sister's chambers. Bella's attitude had been disturbing, but what worried Narcissa was the mention of the Dark Lord. Would her sister ever return from the confrontation she had stalked off to? Narcissa had been holding a silent vigil waiting, and hoping, for her sister's return to the family home. She dared not leave in case she was needed to help her sister with any wounds she received. So when she heard a pop right behind her, she picked up her wand and whipped around, ready to do anything.

"Hey, sis. Did you clean my room? You know, you shouldn't have," said a very disheveled Bellatrix Black. Well, her clothes and hair were disheveled, but Bella looked strangely calm and collected. This was not the entrance her sister had been expecting.

"You leave for three days and all you can say is that I shouldn't have cleaned your room? I was worried to death about you!"

"You look alive."

"Bella, you are sooo close to being hexed. I was waiting for you because I couldn't imagine what manner of trouble and danger you had gotten in to, and then you show up like all you did was nothing."

"Well, I didn't do anything. You really waited up for me this whole time?" Bella surveyed her room. It was spotless except for the newspaper spread all over her desk where Narcissa had been sitting.

"Of course. I was so worried you wouldn't survive whatever you were getting into."

"Rest assured. I've returned, and you can help me."

Her sister just gave her a dubious look that requested more information. "I've decided to accept Rodolphus' proposal, and, well- I don't look very nice at the moment. What do you think about helping me clean up so I can give him the good news?"

"You gave up on Tom!" her sister replied happily. "Thank Salazar you finally came to your senses."

"Well, I've given up on him in the romantic sense. Don't think I have any aspirations on giving up my career as a Death Eater."

"I know. There isn't any way of convincing you out of that. But I really am glad you've chosen to marry Rodolphus. You'll be good for each other."

"I agree. Now- what to do about my hair?"

"Your hair is the least of our worries at the moment. You haven't been home in three days. Ew," huffed her sister. Bella was then forcibly escorted into the washroom, her sister muttering complaints and plans the whole way.

Three hours later, Narcissa plopped down in a large armchair in her sister's room.

"I deserve a prize for that, Bella."

"Yes, yes you do. Hopefully this will make up for the fact that I've waited a month to give the man an answer."

"Let's hope he hasn't already given up on you, sis. Although I doubt that, considering how much he talks about you to everyone."

"Oh I don't think I can survive you stressing over me and then teasing me to death as well."

"Oh but you deserve so much teasing for making me wait like that."

"Hah. You can tease me to no end later. Right now, I have a fiancée to get to." With a wink and a wave, Bella disapparated to the Rodolphus estate in France.