Harry Potter and the Power the Dark Lord Knows Not

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CHAPTER THIRTEEN

A FEELING OF FOREBODING

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As the month of April passed in an intense flurry of studying and cold rainy Quidditch practices, May brought slightly warmer temperatures along with the happy anticipation of a Sunday visit to the village of Hogsmeade. Everyone had seemed more upbeat than usual as the weekend of the trip approached, everyone that is, except for Harry. Harry was increasingly plagued by the same feelings of paranoia that he had felt earlier in the term. The feelings were somewhat vague and rather difficult to pin down, but they were causing him to have prolonged bouts of insomnia, and he found that he was exhausted almost all the time. On a few occasions Harry had felt this sudden thrill of ominous dread which had made his scar ache with a strange cold numbness, and sometimes he had even felt as though he was being stalked or hunted by something hidden - but then the feelings would disappear again. Harry tried to ignore what was happening, though; he had felt much worse than this in the past, and the last thing he wanted to do was give everyone something else to worry about.

Unfortunately, Harry noticed the effects of his lack of sleep most profoundly during his ever more frequent number of Quidditch practices. The Quidditch Final was approaching rapidly and would be played the Saturday after the Hogsmeade visit. That morning during practice Harry had missed getting the Snitch twice in a row as it had flitted just beyond his grasp, something he had never done before. When the practice had finally ended, Harry had headed dejectedly to the locker rooms, not speaking to anyone. Hermione had come to watch the practice this time, and as it ended she began to hurry down from the stands towards the locker rooms. She, Ron, and Ginny hung back after everyone else had left, waiting for the chance to speak to Harry alone.

"Harry, don't worry about it, mate. No one can be perfectly on form every single day, not even you. Don't beat yourself up over it," Ron said bracingly, sensing Harry's dark mood. Harry wasn't looking at any of them, instead he sat slumped over on the bench pressing a white bath towel to his face dispiritedly. Ginny then sat down next to Harry and put her hand on his arm.

"Is something going on that you haven't told us about, Harry? You seem so worn out lately," Ginny commented, her voice shadowed with concern. Harry didn't immediately respond, so Ron answered for him.

"He's not been sleeping hardly at all over this whole past month, Ginny," Ron said, surprising himself, then blanched slightly under Harry's fierce glare. Harry had not intended to tell Ginny or anyone else about his recent inability to get any rest; he had tried to hide his growing fatigue and uneasiness, but Ron had apparently been keeping an eye on him and had seen him tossing and turning each night. Ron began to cast a significant glance in Hermione's direction, and she frowned thoughtfully at him but remained silent.

"You've been having nightmares again, haven't you," Ginny then asked softly, tipping Harry's chin up with her hand and making him look at her. Maybe it was just because he was so tired or because he couldn't stand to hide the truth any longer, but as soon as Harry's eyes met Ginny's he knew he had to answer her.

"You know Ginny, it's weird, but no. It's been quite a while since I've dreamt about anything - anything that I can remember, anyway. It's just this feeling I have. I can't seem to shake it. And every time I start to think I've just imagined it, it comes back even stronger," Harry replied, unable to suppress a shudder.

"Is this the same kind of thing that happened in the Great Hall last month?" Ginny asked.

"I dunno, maybe..."

"What kind of 'feeling' is it, Harry?" Hermione inquired.

"It's hard to describe. It's kind of like dread, I suppose. It's making me so antsy that I wind up staying awake all night," Harry confessed, morosely.

"But you're not seeing visions or anything?" Ginny prompted gently.

"No. Nothing that specific."

"Is it something to do with Voldemort?" Ron suggested apprehensively. "D'you think he's trying to have a go at your mind again?"

"I dunno. I mean... my scar does ache a little sometimes, but not nearly as bad as before. All I know is that something's wrong. It feels like something horrible is getting ready to happen, something really bad, but I don't know what to do about it. I don't understand why this is happening... I can't tell where this is coming from!" Harry said fiercely, suddenly feeling his frustration bubble over now that it was so close to the surface.

"Have you told anyone else about this, Harry?" Ginny asked quietly.

"No."

"Maybe you should go to Dum - " Ron began, but Harry interrupted him.

"And what do I tell him, Ron? 'I'm sorry, sir, but something bad might possibly be getting ready to happen to someone somewhere, only I can't tell you anything else about it as I have no idea?' I don't think that's going to be overly helpful, do you?" Harry retorted angrily, feeling nettled.

"Ron's only trying to help, Harry," Hermione reminded him, and Harry felt repentant the instant she'd said it.

"I know... I'm sorry, Ron. It's just - I don't know what to do. I can't seem to think straight - I can't even catch the stupid Snitch anymore," Harry said wretchedly, as he flung the towel he'd been holding across the room. Then he mumbled, almost too faintly to be overheard, "I feel like I'm losing my grip - like I really am going mad."

At this, Ron, Hermione, and Ginny glanced at each other worriedly. Harry hadn't been this out of sorts in a long time. He didn't seem to be himself at all as he stared out the window distractedly. Ron stood up and began to look out the same window. As Ron stood gazing into the forest, however, his expression of concern faded as though he had been struck with an unexpected idea. Ron glimpsed over at Hermione and Ginny and then nodded towards Hagrid's hut. They both smiled back at Ron as he turned his freckled face toward Harry again.

"Let's go visit Hagrid, Harry. I'm sure he'll be happy to see us - especially as we've only seen him during class this year anyway."

"Yeah, okay," Harry shrugged, and he found himself being led to Hagrid's forest-side home. Harry felt suddenly guilty as he realized that Ron was right. With the exception of his Care of Magical Creatures classes, he hadn't visited Hagrid even once this whole term. Harry sighed and promised himself that he would make time to drop by Hagrid's more often before they left for the summer.

Upon their arrival Hagrid and Fang greeted them merrily, and Hagrid insisted on serving everyone some nearly jaw-breaking biscuits with their tea. Harry held his cup of tea numbly without actually drinking any of it. Not only did he feel guilty for not visiting Hagrid, he was still feeling the ever-present anxiety as though it was an icy weight affixed permanently to his back, freezing him to his core and dragging him downward all at the same time. This guilt and anxiety, along with Harry's overall tiredness and fear of failing at Quidditch, was beginning to overcome him again as his sat immobile and unspeaking in one of Hagrid's oversized chairs.

"Well, it's good ter see you lot. I'm alway' glad ter see yeh whene'er yeh get a chance, yeh know," Hagrid was saying, as Fang tried to jump up on Ron. After Ron scratched behind Fang's ears, he, Hermione, and Ginny gave Harry a furtive and rather penetrating glance. Everyone had remained quiet after being ushered in and Hagrid, noticing this, asked, "Is sommat wrong? I saw yeh practicin' fer the Final earlier. Yeh didn' get hurt, did yeh, Harry?" Harry answered Hagrid in a low mutter.

"No, it just wasn't what you'd call a brilliant practice, that's all. And I'm sorry that we haven't been by to see you more often this year, Hagrid..." Harry trailed off, despondently.

"Sorry, eh? Well, don' be worryin' about tha'. I know it's bin a busy year fer yeh - all four o' yeh," Hagrid said, kindly. Then with unusual insight, he said, "Now then, why don' yeh tell me what's really troublin' yeh?" As Harry slowly looked up into Hagrid's shaggy face, Hermione spoke up instead.

"Well, Harry's Quidditch-playing ability isn't really what's important at the moment, Hagrid," she began, then sighed at the sharp glances Harry, Ron, and Ginny had just thrown at her. "Not entirely, anyway. Harry hasn't been getting much sleep lately. He's been having these peculiar feelings over the last several weeks, and they're keeping him awake. Ron said he hasn't slept decently for over a month." Harry glanced over at Ron and saw him confirm Hagrid's questioning stare.

Hagrid then turned back towards Harry again, peering carefully into his face, just as he had at the beginning of the term. He noticed Harry's pallor and downcast expression, and then asked the same question Ron had asked earlier. "Do yeh think it's You-Know-Who?"

"I dunno, Hagrid. I've never felt this way before. I honestly can't say - I just don't know... " Harry admitted, feeling even more ill at ease. Hagrid continued to look into Harry's face for a moment, and then his beady eyes brightened as his wild beard crinkled upwards into an unmistakable grin.

"I know jus' the thing ter make yeh feel better, Harry, jus' the thing. Follow me," Hagrid said eagerly, as he made his way towards his thick cabin door. Harry remained seated and as he looked around at Ginny, Ron, and Hermione, he noticed that they were hesitating as well.

"Where to you mean to take us, Hagrid?" Hermione asked nervously. Oftentimes when they had followed Hagrid somewhere, he had unintentionally led them into peril. More than once Hagrid had taken them into the Forbidden Forest, and Harry, Ron, and Hermione knew that this particular forest held countless magical creatures, many of which were highly dangerous and sometimes even lethal.

"Oh, c'mon now, Hermione. Trust me. This'll cheer Harry right up - I know it will!" Hagrid said, and his face was so full of promise and expectation that Harry knew they'd have to give in. Harry took a deep breath and attempted to shake off his feelings of negativity - he refused to let Hagrid down, no matter what he was going through at the moment. As Harry began to stand, Ginny caught his eye anxiously, and even though he was still feeling the same nagging dread nudging insistently at the back of his mind, Harry tried to smile.

"Oh, come on, then - it probably won't be all that bad. I mean, if Hagrid's going with us, what could possibly go wrong?" Harry asked wryly, glimpsing over at his friends. Harry then couldn't help giving a small chuckle as he saw the expression on Ron and Hermione's faces. Ron had just gone very white, and Hermione had almost choked on a large gulp of her tea. Some of the scariest things they'd ever seen had been brought directly to their attention by Hagrid, oftentimes right in class. Yet, tired as he was, Harry wanted Hagrid to know that he really did trust him, even if it was with a healthy amount of caution. As everyone began to shuffle out behind Hagrid's huge lumbering wake, Harry began to grin as he watched Fang bark boisterously while bounding through the open doorway. Harry's grin vanished, however, as he saw that Hagrid was heading straight into the forest unaccompanied by his usual crossbow. Hermione had clearly noticed this as well, and she was abruptly looking nearly as white as Ron just had.

"Er... Hagrid... What about the centaurs?" Hermione whispered somewhat shakily. Last year the centaurs that had once peacefully dwelled within the boundaries of the Forbidden Forest had turned upon one of their own, almost killing him. Hagrid had interfered, saving the centaur Firenze's life. As a result, the rest of the herd had threatened the lives of Hagrid and any other human who dared to venture into their forest from that time forward. Harry and Hermione had ended up in the forest a short while after this, and they had both only narrowly escaped being trampled by them.

"Oh, I haven't had the chance ter tell yeh, but a few weeks ago, we came ter an understandin'," Hagrid explained. "Yeh see, Grawpy caused some well... I guess yeh'd say 'damage' ter their part o' the forest after they shot him up las' year. I told 'em tha' as long as they stopped shootin' at ever' other creature tha' steps foot in their ruddy forest, I'd see if I could talk Grawpy inter easin' off on his tree-pushin' habit a bit. There was some grumblin' at first, but they finally agreed tha' they'd leave us alone so long as we don' seek 'em out."

"What about Firenze? Is he still banished?" Harry asked. Firenze had come to live and teach at Hogwarts at Dumbledore's request last term. This was why his herd had banished him in the first place. Hagrid's face subtly fell at Harry's question.

"Well, tha' he is, I'm afraid. When I mentioned Firenze, it jus' abou' caused a stampede - they refused ter even talk abou' him. I reckon I was lucky tha' they agreed ter wha' they did." As Hagrid spoke, he entered the forest on a path that Harry had never been on before, and he wondered where exactly Hagrid was taking them. As Harry stepped through the undergrowth of the forest, though, he noticed that the air smelled invitingly fresh and the grass and moss on this path was delightfully springy beneath his feet. The weather was warmer than it had been this morning during their Quidditch practice, and dappled sunlight was falling gently through the newly-budding branches. As Harry, Ginny, Ron, and Hermione continued to follow Hagrid ever deeper into the trees, any apprehension that they had been feeling about the forest lessened as the sun bathed them in a soft yellow glow and chattering flocks of birds chirped gaily overhead. Harry was very pleasantly surprised when Hedwig then appeared out of nowhere and landed on his shoulder - he found her slight weight to be extremely reassuring. As he raised his hand to pet her, she nibbled at his fingers affectionately, and for some reason Harry discovered that the constant burden of dread he had been plagued with over the past few weeks had actually begun to lift a bit. A short distance ahead, Hagrid was elevating a low-hanging branch at the crest of an earthen hill that rose up in the middle of the path.

"Almos' there," Hagrid said. "It's righ' through here."

Even now, they were only a little way into the forest, and the sun was continuing to shine brightly on them as they caught up to Hagrid once more. Fang was wagging his tail madly as he raced past Hagrid and disappeared into the vast opening directly ahead of them. At the top of the hill, Harry saw a wide and verdantly beautiful clearing, uniquely picturesque and full of life. Delicate white flowers were beginning to peak through the foliage in tiny bundles along its edges, and the grass was so green here that it looked like the plushest of carpets. Precisely in the center of the clearing, however, was a large dun-colored mound. Upon closer inspection, Harry saw that the mound was stirring slightly and he realized what it was. Ron and Ginny both gave an audible gasp as they put two and two together - Harry felt fairly sure that neither of them had ever laid eyes on something like this before.

"Harry," Ginny said as she grasped at his arm. "Is that who I think it is?"

"Yep, that's Grawp, all right," Harry answered in a whisper.

"He's bloody massive," Ron muttered just loud enough that Harry could hear him. Not unlike the first time Harry had seen him, Grawp was lying there sound asleep - his snores reverberating through the clearing like that of a huge grizzly bear in hibernation. Hagrid was looking quite tenderly at the giant, and Harry smiled despite himself. Suddenly, though, Hagrid brought two enormous fingers to his mouth and emitted a shrill and exceedingly enthusiastic whistle. This produced several rather startling effects. First, it woke up the small mountain that was his half-brother, and Grawp rose on his gigantic frame to stand to his full sixteen feet. Upon seeing this, Fang whimpered and cowered away into a nearby leafy-looking shrub with his tail between his legs, and Hedwig took flight from Harry's shoulder in a turbulent rush of ruffled white feathers, her amber eyes wide with alarm. Finally, it caused a fluttering gray shadow to gracefully fly over them and come to a leisurely stop on the other side of the clearing, even though it had four mismatched feet.

"Buckbeak!" Harry exclaimed. Buckbeak was now cautiously wending his way towards them, and Harry was amazed at just how pleased he was to see the hippogriff that had once rescued his godfather. Buckbeak's mottled coat was radiant and gleaming in the afternoon sunlight, and Harry could see that living outside again was certainly agreeing with him. Before coming any closer to the hippogriff's notably sharp talons, however, Harry lowered his head and supplied the required bow. Buckbeak was quick to bow back, and Harry then hurried forward to pat his majestically feathered head.

"I'd forgotten that Buckbeak was here again," Harry said to Ron, but Ron was continuing to stare up at Grawp with a morbid fascination.

"Bloody massive," Ron muttered once more, and Harry caught Hermione's eye and grinned.

"Beaky an' Grawpy have become the best o' friends, haven't yeh, Grawpy?" Hagrid said. Grawp then lowered his boulder-shaped head towards Hagrid and began to speak in a low rumbling voice.

"BEAK."

"Tha's right, Grawpy. I called Buckbeak fer yeh," Hagrid said contentedly. Grawp, however, evidently wasn't focusing just on Buckbeak. Harry had stopped petting the hippogriff at that point, but he was still standing only a few paces away from him. Quite rapidly, Grawp then leaned down towards Harry - coming within a hair's breadth of the top of Harry's head. Ron, Hermione, and Ginny were all grouped together nearby.

"HARY," Grawp said, looking straight at him.

"Er... Hello, Grawp..." Harry replied, a bit nervously. Grawp then changed position with great speed and stooped so low over Hermione that Ron hastily grabbed her by the waist and ducked down over her protectively.

"HERMY," Grawp grunted. Hagrid was smiling so widely that his eyes almost disappeared under his matted growth of beard.

"Tha's right, Grawpy," he said, peering at Harry and Hermione. "Isn't he amazin' - he's got such a good memory." Then turning back towards Grawp again, Hagrid said, "You remember Harry and Hermy all righ' Grawpy, an' now I want yeh ter meet Ron an' Ginny."

Just as Hagrid spoke, Grawp began to lift his massive club-like arms from his sides, and Harry, Ginny, Ron, and Hermione scrambled to take a few steps back from the giant as they watched him warily. Grawp then raised his arms over his head and yawned loudly and dramatically, evidently stretching. This made Grawp appear even larger than he had formerly, and Harry noticed that the birds that had been chirping so joyfully a few minutes before had instantly fallen completely silent. Astonishingly, however, Buckbeak hadn't moved either a talon or a hoof. He seemed supremely unperturbed by Grawp's huge presence, and Harry decided to take that as a good sign. Gradually, Grawp put his arms back down and his dull sludge-colored eyes focused away from Harry and Hermione and focused first on Ron's lanky form and then on Ginny's petite one.

"RON.... GIN..." Grawp said in his booming voice, as Ron and Ginny both tensed even more visibly.

"Yer such a bright boy, Grawpy," Hagrid gushed elatedly, as Grawp stood blinking slowly at them all. After a few moments of staring, however, Grawp seemed to lose interest and pounded off to the opposite side of the clearing where he laid back down again. Within seconds, he had fallen sound asleep once more. "Well, I did wake him up in the middle o' his nap, yeh know," Hagrid said with a shrug.

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Harry, Ginny, Ron, and Hermione spent the rest of the afternoon petting Buckbeak and talking to Hagrid on the edge of the blossoming clearing. Hagrid spent most of this time going on about his adventures with Grawp over the summer as everyone found somewhere to sit and listen to his seemingly endless but enjoyable musings. Harry had discovered a sizable tuft of soft grass underneath an old tree, and as Hagrid continued to relate his story, he and Ginny sat cuddled up together against the velvety bark covering its immensely thick trunk. Harry then glanced over at Ron and Hermione who were sitting nearby petting a blissfully drooling Fang, and his sense of worry and paranoia seemed to melt away almost as though he'd never really felt it at all. As the shadows progressively lengthened, Grawp and Buckbeak went off to hunt for their dinner, and Harry found that his eyelids were getting heavier and heavier as the sun began to disappear behind the tree-lined horizon. It was so calm and tranquil there in the forest that Harry had actually begun to nod off for a moment, and Ginny had to nudge him gently in the side to wake him.

"It's getting late, Hagrid. We'd better get back," Ginny sighed as she pulled Harry to his feet.

Once back at Hagrid's hut, Hagrid mentioned the Hogsmeade weekend that was coming up, and Harry listened as Ginny, Ron, and Hermione chatted animatedly about past trips to the village, including the one they had taken this year right before Halloween.

"Madam Malkin has so many nice things -" Ginny was saying.

"Fred and George had these new Sneezing Skiving Snackboxes, Hagrid, and -" spoke Ron's voice.

"That quill at Scrivenshaft's was the loveliest one I've ever seen -" Hermione put in. Harry lost the thread of the conversation as his eyes seemed to close of their own accord.

"Oh, an' Harry... " Hagrid began, causing Harry to jerk awake again. Everyone was looking at him.

"Er... sorry..." Harry murmured sleepily.

"Tha's okay, Harry, I think it's time yeh got up ter the castle fer a good night's sleep, anyway. Yeh want ter be ready fer tomorrow, wha' with the trip ter Hogsmeade an' all," Hagrid said with a whiskery grin.

Harry nodded, and then gradually followed Ginny, Ron, and Hermione across the lawn and into the castle. Once inside as they began to climb the long flights of stairs together, Harry's body grew sluggish and he found that every step seemed even higher than the last. Ron and Hermione were due to start patrolling the corridors shortly, which left Harry and Ginny to make the rest of the way up to the common room by themselves. As Ron and Hermione bid Harry and Ginny goodnight, Harry smiled at his two best friends before they departed.

"I wanted to thank you for today, guys - really. I feel perfectly fine now - maybe those feelings were just some sort of weird fluke or something."

"You need more days like today, Harry. You shouldn't always try to handle everything on your own - you're trying to take on too much. You should give yourself permission to relax sometimes," Hermione advised seriously. "Hermione," Ron interjected, "you've taken on more stuff than me and Harry combined - extra classes, S.P.E.W, knitting elf clothes, not to mention being a prefect - talk about taking on too much." Hermione gave Ron a severe look and then turned to Harry again.

"I think you just need a proper bit of rest, Harry. No one can go an entire month with hardly any sleep and not feel somewhat out of sorts. Everything will probably seem much better in the morning."

"Hermione's spot-on about that, mate," Ron agreed this time. "You've just been dead beat."

"Yeah, you're probably right. Well, goodnight then," Harry said as the two of them turned and then disappeared down a side corridor. As Harry entered through the portrait hole with Ginny a little later, she took his hand and led him to a more secluded corner of the common room. The day had been quite warm and several of the surrounding windows were still open to the night air. Harry gazed down into Ginny's face as a small tendril of her red hair slid gently across her cheek, and despite his fatigue he was struck by just how beautiful she looked to him at that precise moment. Unaware of what Harry was thinking, Ginny carelessly brushed it aside and then peered deeply into his eyes - Harry couldn't help noticing that she was wearing the gold bracelet he had gotten her for Christmas just as she had promised. As Harry stood there staring at her as though held captive, Ginny suddenly surprised him with a quick kiss not only on the cheek, but on the lips as well.

"Hey, what was that for? Not that I'm complaining or anything -" Harry asked, smiling broadly.

"Oh, you just looked like you needed it," Ginny answered cheerfully. Ginny had smiled, too, but then the faintest of worry lines began to fall across her forehead. "Are you sure you're all right, Harry - really all right, I mean?" she asked pensively.

"Sure," Harry said, and when she continued to study him even more intently, he added, "I'm tired, you know, but those odd feelings have gone. I think maybe I'll feel completely normal again after I get a decent night's sleep."

"Well, all right, then," Ginny replied, as she frowned doubtfully and reluctantly began to turn towards her own dormitory. Abruptly, Harry reached out to her, and Ginny glanced back at him quizzically. "What -" Ginny had been about to say, but Harry had impishly taken this opportunity to pull her close and kiss her again - not stopping until her worried expression had disappeared entirely. "Okay, okay, I believe you," Ginny said, giggling, as she rested her head on his shoulder comfortably. After a few moments, she whispered, "I'm so glad that the four of us took the day off together. Hermione's right, you do need more days like today."

"I think we all do," Harry said sincerely, and Ginny nodded, smiling affectionately at him as she turned to leave. As Harry began to pad towards his own staircase he was continuing to feel the same amount of exhaustion, but his mind was truly untroubled for once and he felt happier and lighter than he had in weeks.

Once in his dormitory, Harry rather clumsily changed into his pajamas while contentedly reliving the events of that afternoon. After they had met up with Hagrid it had been such a wonderfully peaceful day that Harry had felt every last trace of the dreadful paranoia drain out of him, and he hoped that it would stay that way. No one else had come to bed yet as it was fairly early, and the dormitory was relatively quiet. Harry was just beginning to crawl under his blankets when he heard a soft rustling sound to his left. He glanced over to his side and saw Hedwig fly in through one of the open windows, the white of her feathers standing out in great contrast to the dark shadows that filled the unlit room.

"Hedwig?" Harry called out feeling somewhat alarmed, as he hopped from his bed and anxiously ran over to examine her. It was so unusual for Hedwig to come into his dormitory that Harry was at first fearful that she might have been injured like she had last year, but as he checked her over Hedwig merely clucked her beak at him fondly and then settled herself firmly onto the back of a nearby chair. Harry began to pet her at this point, wondering why she had come to see him twice in one day, but then figured that she may have simply grown tired of the Owlery. Harry no longer had anyone outside of Hogwarts to send letters to, so he had only seen Hedwig this term when she had sought him out herself. Harry then began to feel extremely drowsy again, and he yawned widely as he slipped back into bed. Even though Harry was no longer feeling that same sense of foreboding like he had been, he still found Hedwig's snowy presence to be that much more of a comfort to him. Within moments, Harry was fast asleep.....

Hedwig stayed in Harry's dormitory throughout the rest of that evening, not moving from the chair even when Ron, Neville, Dean, and Seamus came to bed later on. Ron glanced over and looked inquiringly at Hedwig's white form as he got ready to go to sleep himself, wondering why she was stationed over the now sleeping Harry like some sort of sentry - owls didn't ordinarily fly up to their dormitory unless they were delivering something. After a few minutes, Ron and the rest of the boys clambered into bed and drifted off themselves. Strangely, Hedwig had remained beside Harry's bed the entire time, not leaving until the first rays of dawn burst through the windows the next morning - her amber eyes had stayed carefully vigilant and watchful as they reflected softly through the deep darkness of that moonless night.