Harry Potter and the Attack of the American Fangirls

Chapter Three:

I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves...

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I am still narrating, and have decided to stay so!

The story so far...

*Me and my friend Beth got sucked through some whirly-pooly thing.

*We appear in a large stone hallway, and decide that we are in Harry Potter Land.

*We wander around until we find Snape, who tries to take ten points from Gryffindor even though we're not in a house yet. (The stuffy old bat.)

*He says 'follow me' and walks out of the room, obviously inferring for us to follow him.

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"Hey, where are we going?" I asked as we followed Snape down the large stone corridor.

"You'll see when we get there," he replied rather snootily.

"I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves..." Beth began.

"Everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves!" I joined in.

"I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, and this is how it goes... (2,3,4,) I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves..." You get the idea. By the time we'd gone into the twentieth rendition of 'I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves' Snape had taken two wrong turns and almost run into a statue.

"He likes to swear, doesn't he?" I asked Beth under my breath. Then I picked up the song again so she could answer. "Seriously. He should be a member of swearers anonymous."

"Everybody's nerves... Everybody's nerves..."

"ALL RIGHT!!! Stop singing that infernal song!" Snape swung around and almost decapitated a statue.

"Yad man," Beth said, giving me a high-five. {inside joke}

"Calm yourself, Se´nor Snape. Just tell us where we're going."

"We are going to Professor Dumbledore's office." He tried to appear calm, but there was a small vein popping in his forehead.

"We're off to see the wizard..." I began softly.

"NO! No more singing!" He glared at us. "Okay?" We nodded and smiled. "Okay." He continued down the corridor. He then stopped in front of an extremely ugly gargoyle. "That is one ugly looking statue, sir," I said.

"Almost as ugly as him!" Beth whispered to me

He apparently didn't hear because all he did was shout "Sugar quill!" at the gargoyle, which sprang to life and jumped aside as the wall behind him split in two. I nudged Beth and whispered, "Just like in the books!"

"No talking!"

"Geez, somebody got up on the wrong side of the bed today," I replied, a bit miffed.

"Actually, it was more like I got up on the right side, then I was pushed down a set of stairs, if you get my drift." He snapped.

"The man's got a sense of humor." Beth observed.

"Please. Shut. Up."

"And a temper," I whispered.

He ignored me and began walking up the loooooooooooooooong spiral staircase. Because it was taking so long, I sang "Older" from the Malcolm in the Middle CD. It has basically no point, which is why I like it.

"You're older than you've ever been and now your even older... and now you're even older..."

"Do you like to sing or something?" Snape asked idly.

"There is no end to our selection of annoying songs." I said happily.

"For example," Beth began, "we could sing 'I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts' or the 'Save Me' song from Smallville..."

"Somebody SAVE MEEEEE..." I added helpfully.

"Here's a hint. Don't."

"...Or the theme song from Malcolm in the Middle."

"Where are you getting these things?" He wondered.

"You need a TV."

"Television sets do not work around here."

"There's magic in the air..." I sang.

"No singing."

"Meanie." I pouted.

"Annoying." He shot back

"You say that like it's an insult." Beth and I said simultaneously.

"Cease and desist your annoying manner this instant!"

"Wow he's all formal and stuff."

"Please be quiet."

"Why?"

"Because we're here."

It was true, not *just* an excuse to get us to shut up. We had reached the end of the staircase, and two large wooden doors with an extremely weird doorknocker.

Snape ignored us and knocked on the door. It opened noiselessly of it's own power.

"Freak-y." I said.

"Spook-y." Beth replied. {Kind of an inside joke}

We walked inside.

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What will we find on the other side? Why was this chapter so much longer than the other ones? Who knows? Hmm...