Harry Potter and the Attack of the American Fangirls

Behold! This starts where I am extremely hyper (no surprise there) and Beth is unusually calm. And my mom isn't *usually* this negative. Read on, my minions-er, I mean... umm, er... Just read on!

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Chapter One:

Monsters in my Closet

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"The Chicken Lord..." A chilling voice resounded from the shadows. "The Chicken Lord has risen again!" Veronica jumped onto her bed, her dirty blond hair whacking her in the face as she waved a pen in the air. This pen was special. It was clear, had butterflies on it, and had once been used to save the world. Well, V's imaginary one, at least. Uh... Never mind.

"Summon the monkeys!" she yelled, with a crazy look in her eyes.

Her best friend Beth nodded. "Riiiight..."

They had been friends for a while and were used to crazy. Crazy was nice. Crazy was fun. Heck, they ate Crazy for Breakfast.

V had weird eyes that were sometimes blue and sometimes green.

{V: Three things I shall take to my grave!}

{B: Not this again.}

{V: Ok!

{Kyle: They're the same car!}

{V: Go away Kyle, you're not in this story.}

{K: Thanks. *leaves*}

{B: You're so mean to him.}

{V: I know. Sorry.}

{B: Why are you apologizing to me? He's your friend.}

{V: Uh, good point...}

She also had crazy blond hair that had brown streaks through it from lack of sun.

{V: *cries* stupid computer!}

{B: WHAT???}

{V: You're right. I went insane there for a minute. *pets hair* blonde... blonde...}

{B: Veronica...}

{V: Blonde... blonde...}

{B: Oh boy. *takes over typing*}

Beth had crazily shiny Strawberry Blonde hair and brown eyes. She was also dating Orlando Bloom. They would be married soon and

{V: Hmm, sorry, I spaced out for a minute. What'd I miss?}

{B: I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!!!}

{V: Uh... Suuuuure... *a giant anime sweatdrop appears by her head* What did you-BETH!}

{B: It wasn't me! I swear! I was framed!}

{V: Suuuuure you were...}

Anyways, back to the plot.

Veronica jumped from the bed and landed on a well-placed pillow. "Oh sure... you scoff now! But when the lightning bolt spotted cow fails to stop him, what then! What THEN! I ask you?"

Beth shook her head. "Voldermort is not the Chicken Lord."

"Whaaaaaaaaat?! WHY?! Why does he not rule over the evil demonic chickens?"

"That's not what I meant," Beth replied, being the sensible one for once. "Of course he rules over the evil demonic chickens, otherwise known as... Um, what were they called again?"

"Feed eaters," Veronica said calmly.

{B: Hey! She's calm! Alert the Media!}

{V: Hey! I can be calm when I want to!}

"Thank you." Beth smiled. "What I meant was he is not the Chicken Lord, he is Lord Chickenmort."

"OF COURSE!!!" V yelled in inspiration.

Just then her mom opened the door. "Sorry, but could you please keep it down?"

Veronica smiled sweetly. "Of course, mother dearest."

Her mom frowned at her. "Don't call me that." Then she left. Then she came back in. "By the way, we're out of that cereal you like. What was it called, Crazy?"

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!" How would they survive without a bowl or two of almost pure sugar for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and snacks???

Veronica's mom shrugged. "I'll buy some next time I go to the store."

"Yes, you do that," Veronica agreed. "In fact, why don't you go right now?"

"Now?"

"Yes. Now."

"All right..." The door closed, and there was one less person in the room. Wow, funny how that works.

{V: It's magic! Lah lah lah laaaaaah...}

{B: *dances*}

After the door closed, there was a weird noise from the closet.

Beth frowned. "What was that?"

V edged cautiously toward the closet. "Dunno..." She slid the door open. And gasped. Behind her clothes was a giant, blue and white whirlpool-like thing. A wind seemed to be coming from it, not really blowing towards them, but rather sucking them in. Strangely enough, nothing else in the room seemed to be feeling the effects. It was like only she and Beth could feel the wind.

"What the..." Beth looked at V. "Do you feel that?"

V nodded. "Yeah..."

Just then the wind increased. The girls began sliding across the floor towards the whirlpool.

"What the heck?" Beth grabbed the nearest thing, which happened to be her overnight bag.

"Wait! Stop! Hold the phone!" Veronica also grabbed her overnight bag. There had been some controversy over who was sleeping over at whose house, so she had packed a bag too.

"Hey! That's from *my* movie," Beth replied indignantly, referring to Muppets in Space.

In a last-ditch effort, the girls grabbed the sides of the closet.

"We're all gonna diiiiiiieeee...." Veronica wasn't terribly worried; it was the most exciting thing that had ever happened to her.

But then-

"Woops!" -Beth slipped off her side and- "Ow! The pain!" -crashed into Veronica, who also let go, getting whacked in the face by Beth's strawberry blond hair.

{V: Geez, hair's got it out for me today.}

{B: We're all gonna die.}

{V: That's MY line!}

They were both sucked into the whirlpool.

It was like being in a giant wind tunnel. Or what Veronica suspected a wind tunnel would feel like if she was ever in one. She vaguely noted that the walls were the same swirly blue as the whirlpool thingy.

There was a bright light up ahead. Veronica screamed, "Don't go to the light!" for no particular reason.

{V: I do that a lot.}

{B: I know.}

{V: But the reader doesn't.}

{B: Good point.}

Beth screamed back: "I can't help it...! It's so beautiful...!"
"Wait!" Veronica screamed. "Why are we screaming?!"

"I don't know!" Beth replied (in a scream, of course). "You started it!"

"Good point..." said Veronica in a normal tone of voice.

"What'd you say?" Beth yelled.

Before Veronica could answer, they reached the light.

For a second everything was white.

Then everything went black.

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Whee! Off to Harry Potter Land we go! Mwahahaha-*cough*cough*cough* oops.