The Heart of Night

The Heart of the Night

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Fall in Love

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3 Moons, 3 Nights

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When Remus woke, all he could make out at first was just low voices, the words too unclear for him to comprehend what was being said. In a second, however, his senses came back to him, registering the sounds and smells rapidly. He was in the Hogwarts Infirmary, and somebody was beside his bed... Two somebodies. And, as impossible as it seemed, he realized that his pack was once again whole.

Suddenly the voices next to him quietened down. After a moment of silence, he heard Severus' voice -- Severus'! Severus was alive! -- asking, "Remus? Are you awake?" Of course. They'd notice the change in his breathing. Not many humans could tell whether he was asleep or awake -- he was really good at pretending to be asleep -- but there was no way a werewolf could miss it if they were focused on him.

After a moment of just lying there, he could at last actually force his eyelids open. In an instant he found himself clutched into a tight embrace, a red mess of hair being pressed against his cheek. "Alpha!" Alan cried out in delight. "Alpha, you're awake at last! Now we're all well again!"

"Alan?" asked Remus, relieved to find the cub seemingly healthy. "Could you please let me go for a while?" The boy happily complied, sitting back. His golden eyes were shining with delight, and there was a huge smile on his face. Otherwise, he didn't look any different from his former self. He was still tiny and thin, light scars crossing his pale arms here and there. However, the air of illness that had surrounded him before had disappeared, and he appeared to be as healthy and well as a werecub could.

Severus raised an eyebrow, smirking a bit. "Guess who missed you a teeny little bit?" he asked dryly. Then his expression turned serious again, although his scent still held a hint of relief in it. "You were out for two days. We were starting to worry about you. Even Poppy was getting concerned."

"You were worried about me?" Remus blurted out. "What about you? I thought you were dead!" Then he turned curious. "How are you well again, anyway? Albus said that once severed, the soul cannot return."

"That is true," the darkhaired werewolf replied. "Had I used my abilities to heal Alan with my own power, I would indeed be dead. However, I didn't do that, like Alan quickly comprehended."

"I realized that Beta must have crossed the border into Master Wolf's kingdom," the cub picked up. "So, I went into the Room of Requirements and managed to make it create a door there. Then I asked Master Wolf to take my soul instead of Beta's, but he said that my soul was too pure to stay there. So, I just took Beta's soul with me and came back through the doorway, and his soul returned to his body right away."

"Why'd you do such a thing?" asked Remus, shocked. "Don't take me wrong; I'm most definitely delighted that Severus and you are both all right. But he gave his soul to save you. Why'd you want to undo that?"

Alan looked at him, confused. "Of course I had to do that," he replied. "If I hadn't, I most probably would have lost you both. If I had given my soul, you wouldn't have been alone anyway."

"That reminds me," Severus said calmly, "that we need to talk, Remus." His face was now expressionless.

Remus shivered a bit. He had been expecting this. Now Severus would tell him that the most they could be was friends, if even that. Whatever Severus said, Remus's heart would be broken, that was for sure.

"Do you want to talk right now?" asked Alan curiously. "Privately? I can leave, if you want."

Before Remus could say anything to one direction or another, Severus spoke up. "You can stay," the darkhaired man told smoothly. "I'm sure you have a lot to talk about with the Alpha, too. We can have our talk after he's allowed to leave the Infirmary." At this, he glanced at his Alpha.

Remus had to fight himself not to sigh deep in relief. The more time he had until they had "The Talk," inevitable as it was, the better. Sure, he did know what he was going to hear, but as long as he hadn't really heard it at least some part of him could stay in its state of happy denial.

Whatever Logan had said, there was no way Severus could be interested in him That Way. So, Remus was now mentally preparing himself for the rejection that was sure to come.

Never had he been as reluctant to leave the Hospital Wing.

~*~*~*~

3 Moons, 5 Nights

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Remus recovered rather quickly, much to his own hidden dismay. Only a couple of days later he was finally permitted to return to his own quarters, although Madam Pomfrey had forbidden teaching for the rest of the week. So, he was now walking towards his quarters with the aid of his pack.

"You're not too tired, are you, Alpha?" asked Alan, obviously worried for him. "You have been healed, right?" The cub was skipping next to him, healthier than he'd ever seen the child. Well, that was obvious. Alan was now healed, and Remus saw no reason why he wouldn't be one of those rare werewolves who did live past childhood despite having been infected as children.

"I am all right, Alan," he said softly. "A bit of tiredness is the only thing that is wrong with me right now." As he said this, he glanced sideways at Severus. The darkhaired man looked just as calm and collected as always, but his scent betrayed his nervousness. Whatever reason he had to be nervous for, Remus did not know; after all, it was not he who was about to be let down. Oblivious to his Alpha's gaze, the other adult raised his hand to his cheek, tracing the faint mark that was visible for werewolf eyes even though a human would miss it. He most probably wasn't even conscious of this gesture. From what Remus had gathered from their stories, that was the mark Master Wolf had left when he had made his agreement with Severus to save Alan from the disease. That mark, or rather what it represented, made a warm feeling fill Remus as he thought about how wonderful Severus was. Then, however, he had to suppress a sigh. He should stop dreaming; it would never lead anywhere.

"We're there!" announced Alan suddenly, breaking into his thoughts. Truly, they were standing in front of Remus's quarters. As soon as he had unlocked the door, the cub opened it and shoved him inside. "Now it's time for you two to talk!" he announced brightly, pushed Severus in as well, and closed the door.

For a moment Remus and Severus just stood there, staring at each other, too stunned to talk. Finally, Severus broke the silence by saying, "He did not learn that from me."

Remus chuckled weakly. "Keep telling that to yourself, and maybe one day you'll even believe it," he muttered, walking further into his quarters. "Tea?" he offered, willing to do anything to postpone the inevitable conversation. Just a couple of moments more of happy denial, that was all he asked for.

"Yes, please," Severus replied, glancing around disinterestedly. He already knew Remus' quarters almost as well as his own. Settling into his favourite armchair, he waited for Remus to make some tea for them.

For some time they both sat in silence, sipping their tea. During this very welcomed even if a bit tense silence Remus let his eyes fly over the familiar form of the Potions Master. He had never thought of Severus as ugly, but before Turning him he had rarely thought of him as handsome, either. Now, however, he could find no other word. The pale colour of Severus' skin looked now natural, not sickly, and his long, black hair was clean and shining, not a single hint of the former greasiness left. Even though at times Remus did miss the sharp obsidian eyes, he had to admit that the glowing amber orbs suited the Potions Master just as well, if not better. And, of course, there were the teeth -- a definite improvement, that one. The ears, though slightly pointed, didn't look too strange; rather, they just added to the man's charm.

Remus was brought out of this reverie as Severus started to speak. "Once I was thought dead, you collapsed," the darkhaired werewolf started, looking a bit thoughtful. As he saw Remus nodding slowly, he then continued, "Poppy examined you... and claimed that you weren't much short of forming a mating bond with me, and that's what caused you to collapse." The amber gaze was locked at him.

Once again, Remus nodded. Then he sighed, lowering his gaze. "I understand that it shocks you," he muttered. "As you probably know by now, the mating bond can indeed be unrequited. If my wolf does go as far as mating with you on the mental level, the bond will affect only me, not you. So, you don't need to worry. It cannot bring any harm to you."

For a moment Severus just watched him, not saying a thing. Then he said, "You said, if your wolf goes further, so I assume your wolf side is mostly in love with me -- for whatever reason, I really can't comprehend. But what about your human side?" The amber gaze was now even more piercing.

"Remember what I told you about the forming of a werewolf's mating bond?" asked Remus quietly. "The bond will be born if both the human and the wolf love the same person. My wolf is quickly falling in love with you -- and my human side is in love with you. I apologize if this makes you uncomfortable, but I don't think the mating process can be halted anymore at this stage. I do promise not to make any advances on you, though." He sighed again, never raising his gaze from the floor. He simply couldn't do that.

Neither of them really knew how long a time had passed. Then, suddenly, Severus spoke. "You're lying."

"W-what?" asked Remus, startled. Now, he did raise his gaze. "What are you talking about?"

"I said, you're lying," the other man replied calmly. "It's no more a process of any kind, other than a finished one, is it? Also, forget about the wolf falling in love. Should Poppy now examine you again, she would be shocked, as she would notice that you have formed a full mating bond."

"True," replied Remus, biting his lip. "I think... I think it has been coming for quite some time now. I've held it back, knowing that you would never return my feelings... But the shock of you being thought dead, then the relief of you living, it just became too much. The wolf broke through, and... I was mated."

"I see." Once again there was a silence. Then Severus continued, "Whoever told you so?"

"Told me what?" asked Remus, confused. "What do you mean?"

The other werewolf's expression never wavered as he said calmly, "Whoever told you I wouldn't return your feelings?" This, of course, made Remus stare at him, startled. Severus calmly returned his gaze.

"...Are you serious?" asked Remus, bewildered. Surely this couldn't be true.

"Do I look like I am joking?" asked Severus back, still as calm as ever. "Moreover, do you really think I would joke about such a thing?" There wasn't a hint of humour on his face or in his voice.

"No," Remus replied honestly. "But... why would you..." He couldn't find the words. This was all too much, too soon. Could it really be true that Severus felt the same as he did?

"Why would I love you?" finished the Potions Master. Merlin, how could he stay so calm? "I don't know. That is what I have been wondering as well. However, I cannot deny the fact that I do -- as does my wolf."

For a moment, they just stared at each other, neither saying a word. Then, very carefully, Remus set his cup aside. Severus did the same, their eyes now locked at each other. Simultaneously, they rose, both taking a couple of hesitant steps towards each other. Finally they closed the distance, coming to stand chest to chest. Neither dared to say a word as if fearing that they might break the spell of the moment.

When afterwards they thought back to that moment, neither could say which one of them moved first. The fact remained that the next thing they knew they were kissing, a set of lips hesitantly meeting another. Soon the hesitation changed into hunger, both eager to taste each other. Their tongues engaging in a battle of domination, the time itself seemed to end for the two werewolves as their surroundings faded. All that remained were they, the feel of robes and hair as hands sought something to hold, the intoxicating mix of attraction and slight arousal they detected in each other's scent, the taste of each other they had longed for. This was all that existed now, the two of them and the feeling of each other, all else be damned.

Suddenly, however, Severus broke the kiss, stumbling backwards. Remus stared at him in confusion, then in horror as he saw the pained expression on the other werewolf's face. "Severus?" he asked, startled.

"It's -- it's Alan," breathed Severus, clutching his head. "The cub -- he's frightened, he's in pain --" And then, to Remus's great shock and horror, he simply collapsed.

*