To Hope For Nothing

To Hope for Nothing

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Admit the Truth

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2 months, 2 Weeks, 3 Days

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There was a child in Remus's arms, a mere infant, with a soft tuft of black hair on top of the small head. He didn't know how he knew it, but he knew for certain that the baby was his, his and Severus's. Wondering how time had seemingly leapt forward but happy nonetheless, Remus cradled the child in his arms. At the same time, he wondered where Severus was, and when he would come back from wherever he was at the moment.

However, just then his surroundings -- the living area of his and Severus's quarters -- seemed to dissolve. Everything faded into deep shadows, and dark figures rose from the ground all around him. 'Death Eaters,' he realized in horror as he saw the white masks.

Then, however, an even darker figure came to stand in front of him. The figure had white, skeletal hands, a head that resembled more a skull, and evil red eyes. "Give the baby to me," commanded a cruel voice that made him shiver in fear.

Remus backed away from the Dark Lord."Severus!" he cried out. "Severus, help!" In his mind, he desperately hoped that Severus would respond, that he would come and save him and their baby yet again. Of course he would come. Severus had promised to keep them safe, now hadn't he? And he always kept his promises.

As he called for Severus, one of the Death Eaters indeed stepped forward and stopped in front of him. Remus saw a pair of obsidian eyes watching him through the expressionless, white mask. There was no emotion in those deep pools of midnight darkness, no caring, no love.

"I think it's well about the time you learn to do on your own," a cool voice said, a malicious tone tainting it. At hearing it, Remus's heart was filled with dread. He recognized it, sure, it was Severus's voice -- but never before had he heard it so cold and emotionless. "I've protected you and your bastard child long enough. I think it's about the time you two become useful in at least some way." And then, a pair of pale, slender hands reached out for his child.

"NO!" shrieked Remus, holding onto the baby with all his might. The baby had woken up, and, sensing his distress and startled by the shout, it began crying. Shrill, high-pitched wails echoed over the field as they began to fight for the child.

Remus had wrapped his arms around the child to protect it from any harm that might come to it. However, when a painful hex from the surrounding circle of Death Eaters hit him on the back, his grip loosened. It was only for a short moment, but even that was enough for Severus to strike out and grasp the child in his arms. Oblivious to the werewolf's now freely running tears and pitiful pleading, the Potions Master tore their child -- no, his child, Remus thought, it was not Severus's, it couldn't be -- from his arms. And, as he tried in vain to reach for his child only to find another hex throwing him to the ground, Remus saw the baby being presented to the Dark Lord -- a sight that no parent in their right mind would ever want to see.

"Excellent, Ssseverusss," Voldemort hissed, drawing out the s's. "You have ssshowed me utmossst loyalty. Ressst asssured that it will be repaid greatly." His skeletal hands clutched on the shrieking infant as if it were the most precious treasure in the world. And to him, it was, as well as to Remus -- although in very different ways. He wanted the child for power, the werewolf wanted his baby for love.

"Please, give him back to me!" pleaded Remus, even though he knew it would do no good. He just had to keep his baby safe, he would do anything to accomplish that.

"Oh, I don't think ssso," Voldemort said with a cruel smile. "You sssee, I have completely other plansss for your otherwissse worthlesss offssspring." After this cruel announcement, he walked over to the small, black stone altar that stood nearby. While he did this, two Death Eaters stepped forward and grasped on Remus, one on each arm. They forced him to tumble a couple of steps forward and then kneel in front of the altar. All the Death Eaters knelt down, too, probably to show their respect to the snake-faced bastard. With a falling heart Remus noticed that Severus knelt also.

A quiet sob escaped his chest as he saw the completely emotionless eyes through the mask. It was clear that the Potions Master couldn't have cared less what was happening to the tiny child, not even though it was his biological offspring. All that mattered to Severus was power, and power he would only gain by obeying the Dark Lord's command, in every situation.

So, the werewolf was forced to watch through tear-veiled eyes as Voldemort laid his beautiful, precious baby boy onto the ugly altar and bound him there with various spells. Then, the unpleasant voice rising in a threatening chant, Voldemort raised a black dagger. The dagger and altar both reeked of Dark Arts, making Remus shiver slightly.

At last, however, Voldemort's voice rose even more, and he shifted his grip on the dagger. Uncaring of Remus's frantic shrieks, he then struck it down at the wailing infant.

The next moment, Remus felt like the time had stopped from flowing altogether. He just stared as his beloved child's blood flowed to the altar, the baby's voice almost breaking his ears in one last shriek. Voldemort, however, glowed with a wholly new power, his red eyes not full of blazing fire and his pale face twisted in an insane, malicious smirk of triumph.

Then, there was a flash of light, too bright for him to keep his eyes open, or to see anything even when he'd opened them again. After the blinding effect had worn off, he raised his eyes slowly at Voldemort. Seeing the Dark Lord standing there, obviously full of new power and strength, all he wanted to do was to fall to the ground and cry until he was dry of tears and life.

He Who Must Not Be Named, however, would not allow that kind of an end to him. Instead, the Dark Lord simply threw the corpse of his baby aside, then regarded him with cool eyes. "Very well," he said. "What ssshall we do now with you, werewolf? You are ussselesss to me now that the ritual hasss been performed."

"My Lord, if I may speak," one of the Death Eaters dared to speak, and to his great horror Remus recognized the man as Severus. "If you have no use for him, could I maybe have him? He is not of much use, that I do admit, but he does make a good enough fucktoy for my tastes -- especially now that he no more has that ridiculous, disgusting baby bump getting on the way."

"Really?" Voldemort turned his red eyes again at Remus, a calculating look in them. "Very well, Ssseverusss. You have pleasssed me greatly. I ssshall fulfill your wisssh; you may have the beassst." With this said, he turned towards his servants. "My loyal Death Eaterssss," he called out. "It'sss the time we rid the world of the plague of Mugglesss and Mudbloodsss. Tonight, we are taking down Hogwartsss! From thisss will our line of victoriesss begin!"

Remus, however, would not have that. Already knowing that he would not get out of it alive, he collected all his strength and escaped the grip of his capturers. Then, before anybody could do anything, he rushed towards Voldemort, preparing to do all he could to take down the cruel man. However, he wasn't even halfway there when a cool voice called out, "Avada Kedarva!"

As the emerald beam of light neared him, Remus knew that he could not avoid it, just as well as he knew who had sent it. However, he did not care. All he cared about was that he would now get where his beautiful baby boy was -- he would get to be with his child, and away from the traitorous man he had mistakenly decided he could love.

His last conscious thought before warmly welcoming the infinite darkness enveloping him was, 'Wait a minute... Love?'

*

"Remus! Remus, wake up!" Calling out the werewolf's name, Severus shook frantically the slender man's shoulders. It was obvious that the Gryffindor was having a nightmare, but he wouldn't wake up, no matter what Severus did.

He had just come back to their quarters from the last lesson of that day. He'd found Remus asleep on the couch, withering in the grips of the horrors his sleeping mind created for him. And nothing that Severus could think of could wake him up, not shouting, not shaking, nothing.

Suddenly, however, the werewolf jolted into an upright position. His eyes were very wide, and a little whimper escaped his lips. He was, however, obviously awake, shaken from his nightmare. Noticing this, Severus couldn't hold back a sigh of relief.

"At last you woke up," he said. "I've been forever trying to --"

However, he never got to finish his sentence. Remus was staring at him with a look of utter horror on his face. Confused, Severus tried to reach out a hand to soothe him, but the gesture only made the werewolf draw away and yelp in fear. The Potions Master then decided to just stand still, unknowing of what he should do or say, not even knowing why Remus was afraid. Obviously it had something to do with his nightmare -- but what exactly had it been?

He soon got his answer. "Don't come near me, you bastard!" Remus cried out. "You will not touch my child, not ever! You will not give him to Voldemort!" While shouting this, he wrapped his arms around his stomach, where -- if one looked closely -- could nowadays be seen the small beginning of a baby bump. Only some time more, and his condition couldn't be hidden.

"Remus," Severus said, forcing himself to stay calm, "Remus, listen to me. It wasn't real, it was just a nightmare. You know I would never work for Voldemort, don't you?"

"But -- but I saw you," sobbed the Gryffindor, tears falling from the amber eyes. "You were there, with the other Death Eaters. And you -- you took my baby from me and gave him to Voldemort to be killed! And then you killed me!"

"For Merlin's sake, Remus," sighed the Potions Master, "it was not real. Try to get over it, do not get hysterical. It was just a nightmare -- it was nothing real. Just calm down."

Slowly, the sobbing quietened a bit. At last, just when Severus considered the werewolf calm enough for him to sit next to him and thus did sit, Remus also took his arms away from protecting his stomach and the child within. "S-sorry," Remus then stammered. "Of course it was just a nightmare. Sorry, Severus. I hope you're -- I hope you're not mad at me."

"Have no worry of that, Remus," Severus said quietly. He placed one hand over Remus's stomach. To his great delight, the werewolf didn't flinch away or otherwise show any fear towards him. That was truly a good sign. "This is not a thing I would ever jeopardize."

"Don't call it a 'thing,'" Remus sniffled, trying in vain to wipe the tears away from his eyes. "It sounds like you were talking of some inanimate object. It is a child -- our child. Call it that."

"Fine, then." Moving his hand slowly over the no-more-so flat abdomen, Severus said, "I would never harm either you or our child, Remus, nor would I ever allow anybody else inflict any harm on either of you. This may sound unbelievable to you, but I do love our baby." His hand spread protectively over the just noticeable bump on the werewolf's stomach, he finished, "I would die rather than ever let Voldemort anywhere near our child."

Another sniffle escaped the werewolf's lips. "But what about me?" he demanded then.

"What do you mean, what about you?" asked Severus, frowning. "I just said that I would never let any harm come to you. Is that not enough of a promise?"

Remus, however, would not give up so easily. "You said you love our child," he said, his voice still a bit shaky after the nightmare. "But what about me?"

At first, Severus was quite taken aback by this surprising question. However, at last, just when Remus's expression was turning into that of regret for even asking, he slowly nodded. "Yes," he said quietly. "Yes, Remus, I do love you as well... In more ways than one."

For a moment, they just watched each other, amber eyes fixed on obsidian ones. Then, finally, just as both thought they could not wait any longer, Severus finally leant in and captured Remus's lips in a soft, hesitant kiss, one which was warmly returned.

*