To Hope For Nothing

To Hope for Nothing

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Do Love Him

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3 Months, 1 Week

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Time had gone by, like it often did. Just a few days earlier a sixth-year Ravenclaw girl had finally realized that the bulge on Remus's waist was not a consequence of him getting fat. After the girl had, shy but sure about her realization, openly congratulated a very surprised Remus in a corridor, the rumours had spread like a wildfire. So, at dinner the following day Dumbledore had announced that yes, Professor Snape and Mister Lupin were indeed expecting a child, and ever since everybody had kept congratulating them. Well, congratulating Remus and giving Severus weird glances, rather, but it was the gesture that meant something.

Anyway, three months and a week after the horrifying night that had changed their lives for once and all, Remus and Severus were standing in a very particular room in their shared quarters. It resided between their rooms, and at the moment, there was no furniture at all in the room, only the bare stone walls. That, however, was to soon be changed.

"I still don't understand why ever you would want to start decorating the nursery already," Severus said dryly. "I mean, it's still almost half a year until the baby is even born! What reason do we have to hurry? You'll just change your mind a dozen times before the birth."

Remus gave him a glare. "It's rather obvious that you don't understand anything," he huffed. "Of course I want the nursery to be ready ahead of time! This is where our child will be staying! It is really important, Severus, at least it is to me. I love our child, and only want the best for our baby." Placing his hands on his slightly rounded abdomen, he looked up at Severus with tear-veiled amber eyes. "Don't you love our child, too?" he whined. "Or don't you just love me?"

Severus heroistically resisted the urge to roll his eyes towards the ceiling. Not only would it have been incredibly rude, but he doubted he would have come out as a winner if he had started to fight with his hormonally unbalanced lover. Remus was dangerous during his mood swings, like he had often come to notice rather painfully.

So, instead of rolling his eyes, he just drew the werewolf into his arms. "Of course I love our child," he said, "and of course I love you, too. But try to understand me, Remus. The baby is not inside me; therefore, I cannot have a bond to him or her similar to that you share with them. To you, it is everyday reality that, after some time, there will be a third person here. I, however, have little more than just promises and hints of that. I don't really have proofs. Therefore, it is pretty hard to me to see the necessity of decorating the nursery."

Remus sniffled and looked up at him again. "That must be the worst excuse I've ever heard," he murmured. Then, however, he just embraced Severus before turning back to where his attention really lay -- that was, the empty nursery. "I think that very light yellow might be the best colour for the walls," he said. "Or what do you think?"

Severus shrugged. "I'd say rather just simple white, but I'll let you decide," he said. "As long as it's not pink, you can choose about whatever you want. However," he then added firmly as he noticed a bit mischievous glint entering Remus's eyes, "I will not stand a single unicorn, duck, teddy bear, or other ridiculous creature on the wallpapers. Not a single one, or I will paint the whole room black and keep it that way. Do you understand me?"

"Of course," Remus said sheepishly. "I would never even think about that." The werewolf was giving in too easily, and Severus knew it. He would have to pay for this later on, but he was prepared to do that. Nothing ever came for free, after all -- especially not if you were in a relationship with Remus Lupin. Severus didn't know if it was the hormones or just a natural trait, but the werewolf could be more sneaky than any Slytherin if he wanted to. The Potions Master had always thought himself to be a master in playing with other people's guilt and sense of duty, but he had been forced to reconsider that. A few tears and accusing words, and Remus could make him do anything out of guilt. Him, the Head of Slytherin, the invincible!

And, of course, Albus had noticed that. The old coot wouldn't give him a moment's rest, teasing him all the time about it, instead. Well, at least this far everybody else had kept quiet. Severus could only wonder how long that would last. Soon even the students would lose all the respect they had for him, and start teasing him about it, too!

...Well, now that wasn't really very probable. They were all too afraid of him to do anything like that. But then again, he could never know, now could he?

So, he left Remus to play with his plans and went to his study. He had a heap of essays to grade, as well as several lessons to prepare. Besides, he had a feeling that Remus would much prefer doing all that planning and thinking and whatever in peace. He'd only be an intruder.

Therefore, the next hour found Severus in his study, the pile of graded essays growing steadily. He was so concentrated in his work that he didn't even notice as silent footsteps approached. Then somebody wrapped their arms around his shoulders, startling him. When he turned around, he saw that he'd been assaulted by a very cheery pregnant werewolf.

"My, my, Severus," said Remus with a grin. "Aren't you supposed to be on guard all the time?"

"Not in my own quarters," Severus replied. "Here I expect to actually be safe." Raising an eyebrow, he added, "Of course, I never expected to be attacked by a werewolf here."

Remus merely laughed. "I like you like this," he said then gently. "Human, I mean. Free. In public, you're always so controlled. I think that if your face was paralysed, nobody would be able to tell the difference, unless you had to speak."

"I need to be that," the Potions Master replied. Remus still hadn't taken his arms off his shoulders, and Severus found he quite liked the feeling. It was rather pleasant, in fact.

"Yes, with your spying and all," Remus said, now kneeling down next to his chair. "I think, however, that all work and no play makes Severus a dull boy."

Again, the Slytherin raised an eyebrow. "Do you have any suggestions for fixing that?"

At that moment, Remus leant in, kissing him on the cheek. "Catch me!" the werewolf exclaimed, then fled from the room. Shaking his head, Severus followed him.

Like could be expected in their relatively small quarters, he found Remus soon. It wasn't like he'd even had to really look, though. The werewolf was standing in the middle of the living room, grinning. Walking up to him, Severus muttered, "Caught," and then kissed him.

Remus moaned a bit and started to reply his kiss, wrapping his arms around the other wizard's thin waist, the baby bump between them. Severus, too, wrapped his arms around the other man, though soon one of his hands wandered up to the sandy-grey hair. His other hand wandered a bit down, settling on the small of Remus's back.

Remus, however, would have none of those. He determinedly grasped on Severus's wrist and brought it around his thigh to the front. There, under the bulge of the pregnant man's stomach, Severus found another bulge. It was pleasant, yes, but startling. He broke away the kiss and drew his hand away from Remus's grip, trying to gather his thoughts.

"Don't you want me?" asked the werewolf quietly. The amber eyes looked startled.

"Are you sure about this?" asked Severus softly. "Do not take me wrong, I do want you. The fact that you're pregnant only makes you even more beautiful in my eyes. However, I could never pressure you into anything. If you're even a bit unsure about going further, I'll stop."

Remus, however, just gave him a gaze full of love. "No, Severus," he said, "do not stop. My wolf trusts you completely, and I hardly can do differently from that. From anybody else, I couldn't bear this, but I'm not afraid of you. Never."

At this, Severus leant in, placing another kiss on Remus's lips. Soon the kiss grew heated, and they started tearing at each other's clothes. Severus leading the way, they finally ended up in the Potions Master's bedroom, where they collapsed onto the bed.

...And from that, things progressed rather quickly...

*