Deepest Bonds

Deepest Bonds

*

Conversations

*

Almost as soon as Snape had left, the door opened again, this time to let the Headmaster inside. There was something small shining between the old wizard's left thumb and forefinger. Walking nearer to Sirius, Dumbledore presented the object to him.

"This," said Dumbledore, holding up a plain silver ring, "is a Master's ring. It's a mark of your power over Severus in the same way as he has his collar and the tattoos on his wrists. You're also just as strongly required to bear this. Almost anyone from the older Pureblood families, or anyone who's been researching the subject, will recognize it, much in the same way as they would recognize a slave's marks."

Sirius nodded silently, reaching out his hand. Instead of letting him take it, the Headmaster simply slid it into the ring finger of his right hand. The Animagus eyed the ring warily for a while, halfly expecting it to suddenly bite or burn him or something. It had, after all, been previously Malfoy's.

He continued examining the ring as the Headmaster sat back down on the seat he'd abandoned earlier that day. "Now, listen to me," said Dumbledore in a steely voice that couldn't be ignored. "I know that I have no legal ways to deal with you, no matter what you do to Severus. But make no mistake, should you ever hurt him intentionally, I will deal with you personally. I consider Severus my son, and am going to protect him as such."

Sirius nodded wearily. "Don't worry, Albus," he said quietly. "I've come to notice that his life has been horrible enough as it is. I have no intentions to hurt him any more." And, surprising even himself quite a bit, he found himself to be truthful in his words as he said this.

"Good. I know you are a good man, Sirius, and I trust you not to take unfair advantage of the situation."

Sirius nodded slowly before speaking again. "So, I take it the bond cannot be broken?"

Dumbledore sighed deep and shook his head miserably. "Unfortunately, no," he said quietly, looking even older than he was. "Should we even try that, we'd end up killing Severus, you, or both. The mastership cannot be given to anybody else, either, unless you die."

"Oh," was all that Sirius said, nodding again, his eyes lowered to the floor. After a stretched moment of silence, he looked back up at the Headmaster, fiddling nervously with the ring in his hand. "What am I going to do now?" he asked hoarsely. "What am I going to make out of my life?"

"In fact," Dumbledore replied, a bit of the usual twinkle returning to his eyes but fading soon again, "I have an idea."

"Oh?" asked the Animagus, raising an eyebrow. "And what'd that be?"

"Well, at first, we have to get you a new wand from the Ollivander's, instead of any piece of wood nicked from the Knockturn Alley. And then... Well, we need a new Transfiguration teacher," said Dumbledore, a sad glint in his eyes. "Minerva... She was blinded during the War. And the replacement we got, well, she's old and is going to retire at Christmas, not that she'd ever been very good. You'd be an excellent choice to that position."

Sirius eyed the Headmaster thoughtfully for a moment. The offer was tempting, that he had to admit right away. However, one aspect of this was forcefully nagging at him. "If we're both staying here, there's no way in hell the whole school wouldn't know about our bond before the first day is out."

"I'm afraid so," sighed Albus. "But there's no other way."

"What the hell do you mean, there's no other way?" spat Sirius, getting angrier by any passing second. "Of course there's a bloody other way! I can find a job somewhere, thank you very much, Albus. And if I can't, well, I'll survive. There's no way I'm going to put Snape into that much humiliation. He's been through enough. I may be an Animagus, but I'm still too much a human to do that to him!"

"Do calm down, Sirius," pleaded the ancient wizard. "And please, listen to me. Severus's slavery hasn't been much a secret for a couple of years now. During one of the battles, his slave's marks were revealed, and you know how rumours spread. Most of the people here don't believe those, thankfully, but enough to make his life uncomfortable. In fact, I think it'd be much better for him to have a known Master than gossips flying around."

Again, Sirius nodded slowly, beginning to comprehend just what the life was like to his ex-nemesis. "It's just unfair, Albus," he sighed then. "I mean, I and he have never been in the best terms, but this is just inhuman. He's in much a worse situation than even... Remus was..." His voice trailed off as he mentioned his friend. It pained him to even think about the fact that Remus wouldn't be there to listen to him, that he wouldn't give him any advice in this tricky situation, that he wasn't... he wasn't alive. Against the popular belief, he and Remus had never been lovers, but they'd been friends in the deepest sense of the word, loved each other more than most lovers did. The odd charm Snape had performed on him somehow eased the pain, however, making him able to stay in control. The Headmaster waited patiently for him to continue, obviously understanding his feelings.

At last, Sirius trusted his voice enough to continue speaking. "I'm going to try to do everything I can to ensure that he has as normal life as possible," he said with a monotonous voice, trying to force the painful thoughts about Remus out of his mind. "I know that a complete normality isn't possible, not in any way, but I'm definitely going to do everything I can."

"So, are you going to accept my offer?" inquired Dumbledore, although he looked like he already knew what Sirius's answer was going to be.

"You know I will do that, Albus," replied Sirius, sighing deep. He'd never hated anything as much as doing exactly what Dumbledore expected him to do - it had always felt like he was acting on some plan of the Headmaster and not on his own free will.

What was even more infuriating was the truth that usually he acted on those plans even when he acted on his own free will. Dumbledore simply knew him too well.

"Very good," the Headmaster said, allowing his lips to be adorned by a small smile. "I've arranged quarters for you near Severus's, halfway from dungeons to the rest of the school. I'm sure Severus can show you to them."

"What a surprise," murmured Sirius under his breath. Aloud he said, "I was going to talk some more with him anyway, Albus."

"I know that," replied Dumbledore carefreely. "I just wanted to ensure that you do it as soon as possible."

The Animagus snorted and stood from his seat. Not waiting for any more dismission than the slight nod he got from the Headmaster, he walked to the door. Just then, he came to think about something. "Oh, and Albus?" he called out.

"Yes?" asked the ancient wizard, turning to look at him over his shoulder - he'd already turned around to glance at some weird apparatus on one of his endless shelves.

"I'm just telling in advance that if you consider that anyone has treated him wrong in any way, you have my demand to punish the guilty ones extremely."

To his great surprise, the Headmaster actually smiled. "I wouldn't have waited anything less from you," he said.

*

Snape opened the door as soon as Sirius knocked on it after uttering the password. The Potions Master let him in without a word. However, as Sirius had slipped past him to the living room of his quarters and Snape followed him, the Slytherin bowed on the doorway before coming in. Sirius chose to simply ignore this.

He eyed the Potions Master, who seemed to be gaining back some of his usual calmness. "At first, we have to get that horrid collar changed," he mused aloud. "You said you had some more comfortable ones lying around, right?" At Snape's nod, he continued, "Very well, pick one of them and we'll change it."

Still staying silent, Snape walked to a nearby drawer and browsed it for a moment before picking up a collar. As he brought it to Sirius, the Animagus saw that it was made of some fine cloth, with a small, golden buckle. Handing it wordlessly to Sirius, Snape then bared his neck and the metal collar on it.

"How does this thing open up?" asked Sirius frustratedly after examining the collar for a moment without finding any way to fasten or unfasten it.

"Just tell it to open," Snape said, speaking for the whole time during their this meeting. "You're my Master now, it will obey you."

"Very well, then. Now, collar - open up." And it did. Taking the unfastened thing away from Snape's neck and tossing it away in disgust, the Animagus frowned as he saw the red marks of irritation going all around Snape's neck. Trying not to hurt the already irritated skin, he carefully fastened the cloth - was it silk? - on the place where the metal collar had been.

"Thank you, Master," said Snape quietly, raising his hand halfway towards his neck as if to touch the new collar, but then letting it fall back down. Then he eyed Sirius warily and a bit suspiciously. "What did you want to talk about?" he asked.

"About us," replied Sirius, then elaborated, "and about this thing. What we are going to do about it."

"Well, there's not much to do," Snape replied, shrugging. "I'm your slave, you are my Master. Those are the facts that cannot be changed."

"Dumbledore offered me the Transfiguration position," Sirius said then, unable to find a proper response quick enough to Snape's statement. "And I accepted."

"I see." Snape lowered his eyes to the ground, biting his lower lip - a gesture Sirius would have never thought he'd see from the man.

"They don't have to find out," he still tried to say. "What if I order you to behave like we were just two teachers with nothing else between us?"

"You cannot order me to go against the magic of the bond," said Snape quietly. "Should you do that, I will eventually - most probably within a day - die to the battle of the sides of the magical bond inside me, if you do not take your command back."

"I see," said Sirius in turn. He was quiet for some time, trying to think of something more to say. At last, he said, "I'm going to make it very clear that if anybody as much as looks at you badly, I'll have them punished extremely."

"Truly you are better than either of my previous masters," said the Slytherin, sounding almost surprised. Then, he turned back into his usual, suspicious scowl. "Why do you care, Master?" he asked quietly.

Shaking his head, Sirius smiled weakly. "To be completely honest, I don't know it even myself," he admitted. "Most probably it's because I am a human, and you are a human, and not a human - not any creature - deserves to be treated this way." Suddenly, a horrible thought hit his mind. "About your previous masters," he started, then had to take a deep breath before he could continue. "Did they -" He swallowed, then tried again, "Did they ever rape you?"

Snape gave him a twisted smile. "It's funny that you ask that, Master," he said with a sarcastical voice, "seeing that my both former masters considered it their favoured way of punishment ever since I was seven. I displeased them a lot, although not intentionally, so yes, I was raped quite a lot of times. Why do you ask? Thinking about going along the same lines?"

"No," said Sirius quietly, horrified at the mere thought of that. He might be many things, and not all of them were pleasant, but a rapist was definitely not one of them. "Rather, I'm determined not to repeat your former masters' obvious mistakes."

"Like letting me live, you mean?"

"No," replied Sirius, his voice sounding hoarse even in his own ears. "Like taking your life away from you."

For a long time, Snape was completely quiet, studying the floor intensely. Then, at last, he glanced up to Sirius, and to his great shock, the Animagus saw a glimmer of tears in the onyx-black eyes. "Remus said that, too," he said quietly, quickly taking his eyes away from Sirius's face to avoid his piercing gaze. "That my life had been taken from me."

"Yeah," said Sirius quietly. "Remus... That sounds just like something Remus would say." Then, he felt as if some kind of a dam had been broken inside his heart. A ragged sob bursted out of his chest, and he felt his eyes dwelling with sudden tears. It was like he hadn't even realized that Remus was dead until now, and had just now started to mourn him.

"Master?"

"Yes?" muffled Sirius, flinching slightly at the way the other man addressed him.

"Shall I cast the mind-numbing charm again? It should last longer this time, the initial shock is always more difficult to put down."

Sirius shook his head, silent tears leaking through his fingers. "I'll have to deal with this sooner or later," he mumbled. "The sooner I do it, the sooner I'll get over it... As much as I ever can."

Snape nodded, understanding. "But the pain will never quite go away," he said in a whisper. Then, with a louder voice, he said, "Shall I show you to your rooms, Master?"

Sirius pondered this for a moment. He needed some place to be left in peace and silence, to go over his feelings. To that, his quarters seemed to be a perfect place. "Please, do that." He stepped aside to let Snape go first, but the Potions Master shook his head, indicating that he should go first. At first, Sirius was confused, but then another thing from Snape's rants got through into his brain. 'Oh, shit,' he thought. 'Two steps behind me. I'd completely forgotten about that one.'

So they went through the corridors, Snape's silky and all-too-well controlled voice barking orders at Sirius, washing his mind into a delicious oblivion. For a moment, he just concentrated on that voice, giving instructions about where to turn and how long to walk, letting all other thoughts flee. It worked so well that he almost suspected Snape had forgotten his order anyway and casted the charm.

At last - at least the walk seemed to take forever, although Sirius knew it wasn't even five minutes - however, they stopped in front of a door made of cherrywood. Snape tapped his wand against it and said sharply, "Monkshood!" The door swung open.

"Your quarters, Master," Snape then said, stepping aside to allow him to step inside. "Albus asked me to set the wards, as you don't have a wand yet. I can change the password into anything you want, or you can do that yourself later."

"Don't," Sirius said quietly. "It's just fine." With a sad smile, he asked, "It's because of Remus, isn't it? Aconite... Monkshood... I'm surprised you haven't used Wolfsbane anywhere."

Snape quirked an eyebrow. "You forget that I am wholly capable of twisting the Headmaster's office's wards," he said. "Albus knows the password, but he's unable to change it."

Sirius stared at Snape in a mix of amusement, surprise, and disbelief. "You did that?" he asked.

The Potions Master nodded. "A month before Remus died," he added quietly. "It was his idea. I haven't had the heart to change that." He looked almost as if he was going to cry, and for a moment Sirius wondered whether the world had come to its end.

Then, however, he himself awoke from the daze he'd been on, and then broke down, falling down to his knees on the floor of his quarters, the previously fallen tears soon accompanied by hundreds of more.