It\'s So Difficult to be Mature

Chapter 14: Recovery

When Harry opened his eyes he had no idea where he was. He struggled to sit up, but a hand pushed down on his chest and forced him back down onto the bed. He blinked. Everything was so white and fuzzy as if he was looking at it through a hazy window. Jeanette stood over him with a relieved smile.

"Thank goodness, you´re awake. Don´t get up, you´re still weak."

Harry realized why everything was blurry; he wasn´t wearing his glasses. At his request, Jeanette handed them to him and he put them on. He took a look at his surroundings and realized he was in hospital room. The curtains were drawn around his bed.

Suddenly fearing the worst, he said, "Ron! Malfoy! Are they alright? Where´s Ginny? What happened?"

Jeanette gently pushed him back down. "Calm down, Harry. You´ll give yourself a heart attack. I healed your hand, but the rest of you isn´t completely healed yet. I´ll answer any of your questions that I can."

Harry stopped trying to sit up. "Is Ron alright? And Draco?"

Jeanette smiled faintly. "Draco is fine, bruised and not entirely free of his own injuries, but his condition was by far the best. He probably broke a rib, Dr. Murray´s looking at him right now. Ron, well, his condition was more serious. He underwent serious damage and was nearly strangled. He´s currently still unconscious, but he´s in no real danger, he just needs time to heal. From what Draco told us, he also had to dispel Voldemort from his body, which possibly left mental scarring. We can´t be sure yet. Hermione´s with him right now."

Harry started. "Hermione? She´s back?"

Jeanette nodded happily. "Yes, and with no lasting harm. She was hit by a nasty curse, but she claims she´s feeling much better and hasn´t left her husband´s side since she woke."

Harry grasped her arm. "Tell me everything you know."

Jeanette sat down on a nearby chair. "This is what we´ve discovered from the accounts of various people. Apparently, you, Ron, and Draco were busy fighting Voldemort inside Ron´s mind while Ginny went to confront Lucretia."

"What!" Harry shouted, then winced.

"She confronted Lucretia. With Hermione´s help, and because suddenly Lucretia lost a lot of power, Ginny was able to destroy her. She won´t harm you anymore, Harry. Hermione sent up sparks and Ministry Wizards found them."

"But why did she suddenly lose so much power?" Harry wanted to know.

"Because your wife destroyed her power core in her other realm," Jeanette said, avoiding his eyes.

Harry just stared at her, unable to speak. Eventually Jeanette looked up and met his gaze.

"She´s here, Harry. We brought her back."

"Lisa," Harry whispered. "Where is she?" he demanded.

Jeanette hesitated. "Well, she was somehow brought right into the middle of the fight between Ginny, Lucretia, and Hermione. She fought as well."

Harry felt his stomach drop. "And?"

"And Lucretia threw her against a tree. She´s in critical condition, Harry. I´ll take you to see her if you wish, but she´s not awake."

Harry nodded mutely and Jeanette helped him out of his bed. Assisting him to walk, she led him to another room with a bed where the curtains were drawn. When Jeanette pulled back one of the curtains, Harry felt himself go weak in the knees. He rushed to Lisa´s bedside and moaned.

Her face was swollen and bruised, as were her arms. Her head hung limply to one side and her eyes were closed. But Harry never thought he´d see her again and to him she was the most beautiful thing in the world. As Harry moved to take her hand, Lisa´s eyes fluttered open for a moment before they closed again. Harry took this as a sign that she would recover.

"Come on, Harry, you should get back to bed," Jeanette said, but Harry shook his head.

"No. I´ll remain here. I feel fine."

Jeanette sighed, but knew better than to argue.

"You probably ought to know, too, that Ginny´s gone into labor. It will be a few hours yet, but it´s begun."

Harry looked up, his green eyes dull. "Did she find out why Lucretia wanted the baby?"

Jeanette nodded. "But she´s occupied so I didn´t press her. She´ll tell us later."

There was no response so she turned and left. Harry squeezed Lisa´s hand and kissed her cheek. He didn´t know what to do or say to make the situation better.

"I love you," he whispered. "I always have. Don´t leave me again."

A faint pressure on his hand made his heart jump. Lisa was still unconscious, but she had heard him.

* * *

Hermione sat in the small uncomfortable chair for hours. She didn´t move, she didn´t blink. She didn´t make a sound. Ignoring the ache in her chest, she stared continually at her husband´s still and pale form. He was breathing, but his eyes remained closed.

Hot tears ran down her cheeks; she wiped them away callously. After finally being reunited with her husband, was he going to leave her? She loved him so much, knowing she had forgotten him caused her heart to throb. Their children reminded her more and more of him each day, and she was suddenly grateful that they had children young. If something terrible happened to Ron, she would have a piece of him to keep close.

He was so bruised. His nose had been broken, according to Draco by Harry himself, but Jeanette had fixed it. It was still a bit swollen and she couldn´t do anything about his black eyes. There was a long gash across one cheek which would leave quite a scar. Hermione laughed hollowly. Ron always wanted his own scar so he could be just as great as Harry; somehow this probably wasn´t what he had in mind.

She spoke momentarily to Draco and he told her the entire terrifying story. Jeanette informed her of everything that had happened since she was taken-including the pseudo-Hermione. The real Hermione had been horrified to learn that Voldemort had possessed her husband and that he potentially damaged himself trying to rid his body of the disgusting spirit. Draco described everything that had happened in Ron´s mind to her and Hermione found herself in shock.

"Ron? Darling, it´s me, it´s really me," she whispered. He looked so pale, like marble. She held her breath, but he remained unresponsive. Suddenly everything came pouring out in a flood of confused emotions. "I´m sorry we ever fought, Ron. I love you, and our children. I´m sorry that I ever claimed I was unhappy with you. I was wrong, I really was. I need you. You have become too important to me. First you were a friend, but now you´re my love, and you can´t leave me all alone."

She was sobbing now. Hermione couldn´t remember the last time she had broken down like that. It scared her to be so vulnerable. She needed to feel Ron´s strong arms around her, to hold her tight and tell her it would all be alright. She had spent the past week a shell of her former self, someone who couldn´t even remember her own name.

Suddenly Ron´s eyes fluttered open. They were unfocused for a moment until they sought her face. Hermione smiled joyfully through her tears. He smiled weakly and squeezed her hand.

"Mione?" he said in a puff of air. It was so light that if Hermione hadn´t been listening for it, she might have missed it.

"Shh," she said, wiping the tears away. "Don´t speak. I´m so glad to see you." The statement was inadequate for the emotions she was experiencing, but the look in her eyes was eloquent enough. "Draco told me what happened."

"I...owe...him...my life," Ron said, his breath coming out in rasps.

Hermione cradled his face in her hands and kissed him deeply. There were so many bruises. "There will be plenty of time to thank him later. Ginny´s in labor, so we´ll have another niece or nephew soon."

She was trying to keep her tone light, for him, but he wasn´t fooled.

"Harry?" he whispered.

"He´s alright. His hand was broken twice, and he´s rather bruised and bloody. Draco´s alright except for a broken rib and the bruises you gave him. You took the brunt of the attack. And Lisa," she added in a softer tone.

Ron heard her. "Lisa?" he croaked.

Hermione nodded. "She came back, Ron. She was there when Lucretia attacked Ginny and me." She could see that he was bursting with questions, but she placed a finger on his lips to quiet him. "Shh. Not now, I´ll explain all I know, but you need to rest. Jeanette said there might be some internal injuries, and the best thing is to sleep."

His eyes were already closing. Hermione held tightly onto his hand and resumed her vigil.

* * *

Draco turned fitfully on his bed. He was restless and when he opened his eyes, Jeanette was standing over him.

"Oh, good, you´re awake. Come on then, it´s time."

Jeanette yanked him out of bed and dragged him down the corridor. He winced as he stumbled along. Jeanette noticed his pain and slowed her pace.

"Oh, I´m sorry. Are you alright?"

"A broken rib," Draco said, short of breath. "What´s happening?"

"Your wife´s in labor!" Jeanette exclaimed.

Draco stopped short, all the color drained from his face, and he felt dizzy. "Wh-what?"

Jeanette pulled him along. "She´s in labor. She needs you, let´s go."

They ran down a few hallways and Draco attempted to catch his breath.

"But she´s a month early!" he said with concern.

"I know. It´s not unusual for a traumatic experience to induce premature birth. We´re lucky that she didn´t miscarry after this week´s events. Don´t worry, a month isn´t too terrible, she and the baby should be fine."

Draco burst into the room where his wife was waiting. She was breathing heavily and a nurse was counting the time between contractions. Her eyes lit up when she saw him.

"Oh, Draco, thank goodness! You´re alright!"

He rushed to her bedside and took her hand. "How are you?"

"I´m alright," she said, her face contorting with pain. "Tell me everything!"

He brushed a strand of damp red hair from her face. "Later, I promise."

"Okay, Ginny," Jeanette said calmly. "I´m not an obstetrician, so I´m going to send Dr. Christopher in. I need to check on my other patients, so I´m going to leave now, alright?"

Ginny nodded forlornly. "As long as Draco stays with me."

Jeanette smiled. "Of course."

She left the room. Draco turned to his wife and kissed her. She looked up at him, surprised.

"What was that for?" Ginny asked.

"For being the mother of my child, and being beautiful," he said simply.

* * *

Jeanette rapped softly on the door. A moment later Hermione opened it. She looked very tired with dark circles under her eyes. She smiled warmly though, when she saw who it was.

"Come in. He´s doing much better."

Ron was awake but he looked very pale and weak in the bed. He acknowledged Jeanette´s entrance with a few blinks and a feeble smile. Jeanette moved to his bedside and took his pulse; it was steady.

"How do you feel, Ron?" Jeanette asked gently.

"Bad," he croaked, "but at least I´m alive."

She listened to his heart. "Your heart beat is a little bit irregular, so I´m afraid you might have heart trouble in the future."

Hermione had resumed her post by Ron´s bed. She was holding his hand tightly and had grabbed it when she heard this. He smiled reassuringly at her.

"It´s alright. I´m alive and Voldemort didn´t get my body, that´s what´s important."

Hermione nodded and Ron resumed. "How are Harry and Malfoy? And Ginny, has the baby come yet?"

"Harry´s fine, he´s sitting with Lisa. Draco´s alright as well and he´s with Ginny. No, the baby hasn´t come yet. I have to go check on Lisa, I´ll be back soon."

She left and Ron relaxed slightly. Some of the tension went out of his stretched skin. He grasped Hermione´s hand and sighed.

"Herm, call the folks and tell someone to bring the kids here. I want to see them."

Hermione nodded with tears in her eyes. "I do too, sweetheart. I do too."

* * *

Lisa was still sleeping, although Harry hoped it was a natural sleep now. He hadn´t left her side and his eyes hadn´t left her face. There was a knock on the door, but he didn´t move. Jeanette entered quietly.

"Harry, I need to speak to you about Lisa."

Harry didn´t seem to hear her. When he realized she was in the room he looked up. "Is Ron alright? Has the baby come?"

Fortunately Jeanette possessed endless amounts of patience in such situations. "Ron is awake and I´m confident that he will make a full recovery. No, the baby hasn´t come yet, but it will be soon. Would you like to be there?"

Harry hesitated, but then shook his head. "No, I have to be here."

He turned to look at Lisa again, and Jeanette sighed. She placed a hand on his shoulder, but he was unresponsive.

"Harry, you have to hear this. We´ve run tests on Lisa, and while I don´t doubt that she will survive, she is most likely going to be paralyzed from the waist down."

Harry was silent. When he spoke it was in a cold and final tone of voice. "No."

"Harry, I know you don´t want to hear it, but it´s the truth. We´re lucky she´s alive at all, but for everything else magic can cure, it can´t cure this."

"NO!" Harry shouted. Jeanette jumped back. Harry stood up, looking furious. Then as suddenly as the rage had come, it left, and Harry was once again a lost little boy.

"I´m sorry," he said dejectedly.

"No, Harry," Jeanette said softly, "I am." She left the room silently and Harry returned to Lisa´s side. He bowed his head over hers and began to cry. Hot tears dripped off the tip of his nose onto her face.

Her eyes fluttered open and this time stayed open. It took her a minute to be able to speak, but she eventually found her voice.

"Harry, is it really you?" she asked in a whisper.

Harry lifted his head and smiled waterily. "Yes, oh, yes."

"I just want you to know I love you," she said quietly.

"I love you too." Harry continued to cry. "I´m so sorry for everything."

Lisa knew better than to contradict him. She remembered everything with astonishing clarity, but she also knew that he felt he had to take some of the blame.

"Tell me the truth, the whole truth. What´s wrong with me?"

Harry tried to avoid her eyes, but he couldn´t. "Jeanette said that you´ll be paralyzed from the waist down."

Lisa closed her eyes. "At least I´m alive."

Harry was startled at how well she was taking this. "Yes," he agreed, "at least you´re alive."

* * *

Sirius and Remus were eating in the cafeteria when Jeanette came in and collapsed in a chair. They continued to eat their sandwiches and looked at her expectantly.

"Ron will be alright, although he may have heart problems later on. Ginny´s very close to birth with Draco by her side. And Lisa, well, she´ll be paralyzed. Harry didn´t take it very well."

"Did you really expect him to?" Remus pointed out.

"No," Jeanette admitted. "I wish it had been any other way." She banged her fist down on the table. "We really need to know what happened."

"The curiosity´s getting to you too, eh?" Sirius asked with a grin.

Jeanette sniffed. "Of course not. I speak from a medical standpoint. The problem is, Hermione was hypnotized throughout most of it, so she can´t tell us anything about Ginny and Lucretia, Ginny´s in labor so she´s a bit preoccupied, Draco can only tell us a bit about the conflict between Ron and Voldemort and he´s busy now too. Harry was unconscious for a lot of it, Ron has only just woken up and is no state to be interrogated, and Lisa, who´s information would be of the greatest value, is not awake yet."

"That is a problem," Remus agreed. "We´ll just have to keep our curiosity in check until the baby´s born, I suppose. Then we´ll have a group meeting, in Lisa´s room if it´s possible to get Ron and Ginny in there. We´ll come up with something."

Jeanette sipped a mug of coffee, Sirius took a large bite out of his sandwich, and Remus munched on some crisps. They were reflecting. Suddenly Sirius sat up straight.

"Wait! We can at least get the answer to one of our questions! Didn´t Meredith say she had figured out the reason Lucretia wanted Ginny´s baby?"

"Yes, she did!" Jeanette exclaimed. "Where did she get to?"

She walked in at that moment, munching on a Chocolate Frog. She looked at the others.

"What? Why are you staring at me?"

"Didn´t you say you figured out why Lucretia wanted Ginny´s baby?" Remus asked excitedly.

Meredith waved a hand. "Oh that. Yes, I did."

"Well?" Sirius asked anxiously.

She placed her hands on her hips. "Oh, so now you want to listen to me!"

Jeanette shot him a look. The doctor had had a lot of practice with the inspector before.

"Please, Mere, tell us."

Meredith sat down in a chair next to Sirius. "Oh, I suppose. Ginny and Lucretia are related as are Draco and Voldemort. That´s the connection. And Ginny is descended from Helga Hufflepuff. Draco is related to Salazar Slytherin."

Jeanette, Remus, and Sirius sat in stunned silence. Jeanette broke it.

"What!"

Meredith nodded idly. She opened another Chocolate Frog. "You got it. That´s the reason, but I don´t know the details. I imagine Ginny does though."

"Yes, but at the moment, she´s a trifle occupied," Sirius said.

* * *

"Draco Malfoy, I hate you!" Ginny shrieked. "I´ll kill you for doing this to me!"

Dr. Christopher tried to stifle a smile. Draco was obviously nervous and Ginny was about to break all the bones in his hand. She was very close now, a few pushes and the baby would be out.

"Alright, Ginny, push! Atta girl, again, and don´t forget to breathe."

Ginny pushed as hard as she could and then fell back against the pillow, breathing heavily. Draco smoothed the hair around her face and murmured encouraging phrases.

"Good, sweetheart, keep pushing, it´s almost over." He tried to ignore the throbbing pain in his hand.

Ginny reached out and grabbed him by the front of his robes. "Listen to me, would you like to be here giving birth? No? Then stop saying stupid things! Argh!"

She pushed again and tried to remember to breathe. Dr. Christopher gave her an encouraging smile.

"Alright, Ginny, one more good push ought to do it. You can do it!"

She pushed as hard as possible and was rewarded with the sound of a tiny cry. Looking up at her husband, Ginny was amused to see that he was as white as a ghost. A lot of things Draco Malfoy may be, but he had never been a father before. His reaction was kind of cute. Then panic overtook her, compounded by fear for her baby.

"My baby," she said desperately. "Is my baby alright?"

Dr. Christopher smiled warmly. "She´s just fine. Ten fingers, ten toes. She seems perfectly healthy."

"She," Draco repeated blankly.

Ginny looked at him. "Do you mind? That it´s a girl, I mean."

Draco watched as the doctor placed his daughter in the arms of her mother. He smiled at her. "Of course not. I told you, we can always try again."

She laughed. "Only if you´re the one who gets pregnant next time."

She looked down at her perfect little girl. Her baby was so beautiful, so wonderful. All this time she had worried that her escapades would cause a miscarriage or that something would happen to her husband. Now all her fears were at rest. She had her own little family, one she would do anything to protect.

Draco sat on the edge of her bed and Ginny handed him their baby. He seemed a little surprised and uncertain. Ginny laughed a little at his discomfort.

"It´s alright," she said gently. "Meet our daughter, Draco."

Draco looked down at his daughter, marveling that he could have been part of the creation of something so tiny and beautiful. "And does our daughter have a name?"

Ginny took her back into her arms. "Yes," she said decisively. "Her name is Destiny. Destiny Aileen Malfoy, because she was our destiny. And whatever hers is, she has two parents who love her."

She looked at Draco for his approval. He was still smiling.

"I think it´s a perfect name. Although, you do realize her initials spell `dam´, don´t you?"

* * *

Several hours later Ginny had been escorted to Lisa´s room. She insisted on carrying Destiny with her and Draco didn´t make any objections. Ron was moved into the neighboring bed, so everyone was gathered in that room.

First everyone admired little Destiny, then they got down to business.

"First things first," Jeanette said. "Ginny, why did Lucretia want your child?"

Ginny was looking down at the child in question. "Because with Hufflepuff blood from me and Slytherin blood from Draco, supposedly any child that comes from us will be all powerful."

"Do you believe her?" Remus asked.

Ginny shrugged. "I see no reason for her to lie to me about it. She wanted my daughter so she could rule the world. Although I admit I find it difficult to believe that Destiny has the power of the Founders put together."

Everyone looked at the tiny baby who was currently asleep. She certainly didn´t seem capable of destroying a world.

"There´s one thing I´d like to know," Draco spoke up. "How did we get into your mind, Weasley?"

Everyone turned to look at Ron, who did his best to shrug.

"I don´t know," he said, frowning slightly. "It was just that I was trapped there, and you were making obnoxious remarks, and all I remember is wanting to get my hands around your neck. Since I couldn´t get out, I dragged you in. I don´t know how I did it."

He looked at Jeanette who shook her head. "I don´t know either. I should look into that, though." She looked at Lisa. "What I´d like to know is how you defeated Lucretia."

Harry tightened his grip on her hand, and she smiled reassuringly at him. She was fully awake now, but still very weak. She hadn´t left the bed and was still quite bruised.

"I did what you told me to do. I destroyed her core. Not by myself though, I had help." She smiled sadly. "We tore it apart with whatever we could find. Jeanette, what happened to them? Did they go back to their bodies too?"

She sounded so hopeful; it would have been a way to rectify her mistake. But Jeanette shook her head.

"No. I´m sorry, Lisa. Since Lucretia has been destroyed, I assume that her realm has disappeared. If that is the case, then the spirits of those poor people have gone wherever spirits go when they die. They´re not coming back."

Lisa began to cry, silently. Harry put his arm around her and kissed her forehead.

Hermione spoke up, with the words that everyone was afraid to say. "We´re sure then, that Lucretia has gone for good?"

Ginny was firm on the subject. "Yes. I killed her." She said it so blandly that her husband looked at her oddly. "She won´t be coming back."

There was an odd silence for awhile; everyone seemed afraid to speak. Ron only had one more question.

"What happened to the impostor Hermione?" he wanted to know.

Remus and Sirius exchanged a look.

"She, er, escaped," Sirius said quickly. "She disappeared around the time you lot were brought in here."

Remus looked thoughtful. "I suppose we´ll never find out who she was. One of the many mysteries that haunt our lives."

Jeanette took charge. "Alright it´s time for everyone to rest. Ron, Ginny, we´ll move you back into your respective rooms so that you can have some privacy. And you may all call in any family you want."

She ushered everyone out, floated Ron out on an invisible stretcher, allowed Remus and Draco to support Ginny and the baby, and closed the door behind her.

Lisa had stopped crying, though her nose and eyes were red. Harry was stroking her hair and holding her hand. Once everyone else had left, she looked up at her husband.

"Harry, would you please get me a piece of parchment and a quill? I have to send an owl."

* * *

Hermione was thrilled that Ron was making a steady recovery. After the meeting, he took a few steps to get to his bed. Jeanette felt that he would make an even better recovery in his own house, so in the morning they would transfer him home. This was terrific news for Hermione who desperately wanted to go home with the children.

She called Fred and asked him to bring the children to M.A.T.D.A. so she could see them. She had missed them so much. Apparently they had missed her as well.

Back in school she had never thought of herself as a mother. She had assumed that she would be Head Girl and head into a prominent position at the Ministry. Marriage and children could come later. Much later.

Instead she married and had children young. She had a good job as a Professor at Hogwarts (she taught Arithmancy) but she had taken a year off when each of her boys was born. Her children came before her job, something she never thought possible.

Life was funny sometimes.

* * *

He entered the room hesitantly. He wasn´t sure what had brought him back, but her plea had intrigued him. As it was, for the first time in many years, he was nervous. He wasn´t the nervous kind, but he genuinely did not want to come to this meeting. But the letter she had written had been difficult to refuse.

He approached her bed. She was awake and she had been expecting him.

"Thank you for coming, Professor Snape," Lisa said quietly. She had wanted to conduct this conversation in private; she´d even asked Harry to leave. "I hope this won´t take long."

Snape sat down in a chair facing opposite her. "I hope so as well."

"To begin with," she continued softly, "I wanted to thank you for your assistance regarding my resurrection. Jeanette told me of your contributions. I´m sure your knowledge was invaluable."

"It was nothing," Snape replied coldly, wondering where this was going.

"I´m curious, though, as to why you would bother to help me."

Snape was mildly surprise. "Excuse me?"

Lisa looked at him. She wasn´t frightened of his prickly demeanor, or annoyed by his sarcasm, she simply watched him.

"You knew didn´t you?" she asked gently, not taking her eyes from his. "You knew what I did. Yet you still helped me. Why?"

"I´m sure I don´t know what you´re talking about," he said stiffly, his eyes narrowing. How much did this girl know?

"I´m sorry," she whispered, tears coming to her eyes. "I didn´t mean to, I was young and naive. That doesn´t excuse what I did. I´m responsible for her death, for the deaths of so many others. I killed my best friend without knowing it. The way that woman used my poison makes me sick. I never intended for it to happen. I´m so, so sorry."

Snape sat stiffly in the chair. His eyes were troubled, as if he was remembering a long forgotten memory. There was a long silence between them. When he spoke again it was in a gentler tone than before.

"You always were very clever, Mrs. Potter." He said this without malice, without any emotion at all. "She was my sister. She died to save me. Lucretia had kidnapped me while I was on a mission for Dumbledore. My sister came to my rescue and sacrificed herself for me. I escaped, and spent many years devoted to research on that poison. Your poison. To answer your question, yes, I did know. I came across your name in a book and remembered you from school. I spent a long time researching a way to counteract the poison, but came up with nothing."

Lisa listened to Snape pour out his story, one he had probably kept bottled up for years. She felt terrible. She had killed so many people and there was no way to bring them back.

"But now you know how to do it," she said meekly. "Could you bring her back now? She saved us all. It was because of her that we were able to destroy Lucretia´s power core. I owe her a debt of gratitude."

For a moment Lisa thought she saw something equivalent to a smile on Snape´s face. Then it quickly disappeared.

"I do too," he said quietly. "She was always the one to save others. A true martyr. But no, there´s nothing I could do now. One thing I´ve learned from the experiment is that the body is needed. I buried Isobel a long time ago. I have no desire to dig her up."

Lisa understood that he didn´t mean the physical Isobel; he was speaking of the memories associated with her. He had moved past her death, there was no point in resurrecting her.

He stood up to leave but a timid question from Lisa caused him to turn around.

"Professor Snape, do you forgive me?"

He knew exactly what she was asking and almost regretted not being able to give it to her. For many years he had hated this woman. Besides the fact that she was Potter´s wife, she was the reason for his virtual isolation. She had created the poison that caused him such pain. She deserved to suffer. And at first, when Jeanette told him she had been infected by her own poison, he relished it. Let her and Potter suffer. But he started thinking of his pain at his sister´s passing. He decided that if Isobel couldn´t benefit from his research, someone could. Even if it was the person who caused all the trouble. And looking at her now, paralyzed at age twenty-six, he almost pitied her.

So he knew what she was asking, but he couldn´t answer her in the way she wanted.

"No," he said finally. Her shoulders sagged and her eyes looked downcast. She didn´t cry, she just looked beaten. "Because it´s not my place to do so. What you want, Mrs. Potter, is complete forgiveness, to be absolved of your sins. I can´t do that. No one can. Until you´ve spoken to every person who has lost a loved one because of your poison, and asked their forgiveness, you can´t escape the punishment."

He turned and left then, leaving Lisa alone in her bed, in the foreign hospital room. She sank down onto the pillows. She didn´t cry. She was beyond tears.

Her suffering went beyond the knowledge that she would never walk again. It went beyond the pain she had experienced. She knew she was responsible for the deaths of so many. People she hadn´t even known, and some she had. When she had been in Lucretia´s other realm, those people joined with her and helped her, not knowing who she was or what she had done. And she was alive while they were still dead. Innocent people like Terry Boot, Cho Chang, and Isobel Snape.

When she looked down at her hands all she saw was their blood. She had paid a harsh price for it. She was alive but she was imprisoned in a body that was damaged. She had gone from one kind of prison to another. The other prison left her without an identity, but there was no torture. This prison held unimaginable tortures as she relived the fact that she killed those poor people.

She knew she had done it before, for the past seven years she had spent everyday forgetting about it. Only now she could put faces to her victims and they haunted her. They weren´t just miscellaneous victims anymore. She had known them, and now she knew what they had been through. She couldn´t ignore them anymore.

She wasn´t sure how long she sat in that bed, lonely and desolate, before the door creaked open again. It was Harry, carrying Lily and James. He brought them to her bed and placed them on her lap.

"Look who I found," Harry whispered softly. Lisa wasn´t sure if he was talking to her or the children. One look at them caused a tidal wave of tears to cascade down her cheeks.

"Mummy!" Lily said delightedly. "You´re not dead! But why are you crying?"

Lisa wiped her eyes. "I´m just happy to see you, darling."

But under her breath she said, "`The woman was just bad.´ You were more right than you know, Cho. You take life, you give life. It keeps the Wheel turning."