Becoming

Author's Note: Thanks to Ashley for her brilliant beta skills. Also, thanks to everyone who reviews. I know I'm not as responsive to every single one as I used to be, but if someone has questions I can answer I try and do so, but I do read and enjoy every single one, so thanks again! My loyal readers are who keep me posting so frequently, and now for some more Drarry heartache.

Chapter 11 March 11th, 2000

I took one final look at my reflection and turned back to my fiancée, willing her to say something that might make me feel less guilty about Ron's plans for me tonight. Given the last few rocky months of our engagement, the last thing I wanted to do was jeopardize it further with drunken stripper debauchery. The Weasley men didn't really care what I wanted though, nor did they really care what their little sister had to say about it, but it wouldn't stop them from castrating me if things got out of hand. Not that they would -no I had learned my lesson with the whole Malfoy fiasco.

Ginny had reluctantly forgiven my transgressions, she wasn't even holding a grudge and I was thankful for that. I was ready to move ahead with my life as husband and father; I couldn't wait to start a family. In just a few short days I would be leaving my bachelorhood behind and celebrating my new life as a married man. But first I had to get through the festivities Ron had planned for me.

Ginny nodded approvingly of my attire; a retro green tee with a simple black blazer and dark-washed denims. "You'll have those strippers fawning all over you," she grumbled, clearly uncomfortable with my going but trying to mask it with a weak smile. "Just promise to behave. No picking up strange women."

"Promise," I replied easily, pecking her on the tip of her nose.

"And no strange men either," she added with a smirk.

"Any day now that's going to stop being funny," I noted with a roll of my eyes. "I'm waiting patiently for that day."

She smiled and chuckled warmly. "Maybe at some point after we're married I'll stop laughing about it. Until that wedding band is on your finger though, things are still negotiable. I'm not taking any chances."

"Noted," I told her with a laugh. "Though, with only a week left, I think your level of worry over my fidelity should be decreasing."

"It is," she assured before pressing me against the mirror and plying me with a deep kiss. I returned the kiss, but something was missing, something was always missing lately. "I love you, Harry," she whispered softly when we broke apart.

"Ready to go?!" Ron shouted from the Floo, startling us both. I shot my friend a withering glare, but Ron seemed unfazed as his disembodied head floated amongst the green flames.

"Yes," I replied after a moment. "I thought I was meeting you all at the Leaky."

"George didn't want to risk you bailing on us, so I've been sent to kidnap you," Ron explained.

"And a fine job you're doing of it so far," I teased.

"Would you just come on already? Hermione's waiting for Ginny to come over and I really don't want to be here when they start all their girlie shite," Ron whined.

I laughed while Ginny stuck her tongue out at her slightly older brother. "Be good," she warned me once more before I waved and slipped into the green flames to Ron's house. A wave of mild relief washed over me the moment I stepped into the adorable cottage Ron and Hermione had bought recently. Ron was sitting on the arm of the sofa, ignoring Hermione's scowl at his inappropriate seat selection, while his wife rocked their new baby girl. Elizabeth Rose was the most adorable niece I could have asked for and I wasted no time joining the pair on the couch where I could get a better view of the sleeping beauty.

"Do you think Gin's terribly upset that we can't go out?" Hermione worried aloud. "I just can't bring myself to leave her with a sitter yet."

"Ginny's fine. She's looking forward to spending time with you and the baby," I assured her. "This will be her before too long, after all."

"Jumping a little quickly aren't we?" Hermione asked. "You've not even said your vows yet."

"You know I've always wanted a family," I replied softly, running my finger across little baby Elizabeth's cheek.

"Maybe you should just enjoy being married for a little while first," she reasoned. "Once you have a baby it changes everything, Harry."

"I want everything to change," I replied with a smile. I couldn't wait to hold my own child in my arms, nuzzling that soft skin, breathing in that powdery scent.

A sharp pop startled me and I looked up to find George and Charlie standing right in front of us with their hands placed on their hips as if annoyed. "What's keeping you?" Charlie asked.

"We thought maybe Harry kidnapped Ron instead of the other way around," George added.

"They have temporary baby fascination," Hermione informed them.

"Well, I'm in the mood for booby fascination," George replied with a grin that Hermione refused to return. "Let's get a move on, shall we?"

I groaned as Charlie pulled me to my feet but I followed dutifully as they led me outside into the still moist air from the afternoon showers we'd gotten that day. Our wedding was falling on the first day of spring and I wagered it would still be a bit chilly in Molly's garden, but I didn't mind. I liked the cold.

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"Wooooooo!!"

I rolled my eyes as I looked over to see George's face planted firmly in the middle of two enormous breasts, his face shaking back and forth between them as he hollered his delight. I never understood the fascination with large breasts, Ginny had a very small chest and it was more than enough for me.

"He's going to go deaf if he keeps letting her beat those things against his ears," I commented to Ron who seemed mesmerized by the woman twirling sensuously around the pole on stage. He just stared unblinkingly up at the scantily clad woman and I was beginning to wonder if I was going to have to wipe drool from his chin before the night was over.

We had picked up a few more blokes at the Leaky, Dean, Seamus and one of the other Aurors in our office, Chaz McGilder, who were both equally entertained by the semi-nude women roiling their hips or bouncing on their laps.

"Aren't you having fun?" Ron asked, bringing my attention back to my vacant-stared friend.

"Sure," I answered with a shrug.

He studied me for a moment and didn't seem to like what he saw. "Guys, we need to get the Groom a lap dance!" Ron called over my shoulder to the other men.

Another cheer rang out from George's direction and Charlie pulled the closest girl toward me, practically shoving the woman onto my lap. "Really, this isn't necessary," I protested quickly.

"Nonsense, it's your bachelor party, Harry. You have to have at least one lap dance," Charlie argued.

"Gin's going to be livid," I reasoned.

"She'll never know," George countered as he and the rest of the guys all hovered around me and the leggy blonde grinding my lap.

"What's your name, sweetie?" the stripper asked.

"Harry," I replied with a blush. I could feel her lithe body against me but my own body wasn't responding. She was a lovely woman, but she wasn't my fiancée.

"Harry," she whispered seductively against my ear, "would you like to get a private room?"

"No!" I answered quickly. "No, sorry, you seem... nice, but no thanks."

"What, are you gay?" she quipped and the blush already coloring my cheeks spread down to flush my neck as well.

"No, I'm getting married next week," I replied with a bit more snap than I had intended. Who the hell did she think she was making assumptions about my orientation? "I love her. I just don't feel right doing this."

"I dance for plenty of engaged men and married men alike," she replied, as if that made her better than me. "At the very least they all get hard," she hissed rudely as she ran her hand against the flaccid cock hiding in my denims.

I might have shoved her away if not for Ron coming to my rescue, pulling the woman off of my lap and shoving her toward George. "I'm sure my brother would be keen on a private room. He's single."

The woman studied our untidy little group and shook her head. "Whatever," she muttered at last before pulling George by the hem of his jumper toward the other end of the club where a bouncer looked them over once and waved them behind a thick purple curtain.

"She was a bit bitchy, right?" Ron commented as he plopped into the chair next to me. "Sorry, mate. I thought you'd enjoy it."

I merely shrugged and tried to act as enthralled in the other stripping women dancing around the room as the other guys did. I thought the act had worked -taken some of the attention off of me, but I was mistaken.

"So, Gin told me about the Malfoy thing," Ron mentioned, just barely loud enough to be heard over the thrumming music.

I knew my eyes were probably bulging from my head but I couldn't seem to stop myself from looking both surprised and guilty. "She did?" I asked, hoping Ron got an edited version of what had occurred between the Slytherin and I.

"There isn't any truth to that is there? Gin was just blowing things out of proportion like she usually does, right?" he asked. "I mean... I know it was ages ago, but nothing really happened between you and Malfoy, right?"

I wanted desperately to be able to tell him that absolutely nothing happened and be telling the truth. How did I tell my best friend and older brother to the girl I was about to marry that one single kiss with another man had made me falter and rethink my entire life's plan? I just couldn't do that; I couldn't instill so much doubt in me as a potentially good husband to his little sister. I did love Ginny and I would take excellent care of her for the rest of my life, I couldn't allow Ron to believe otherwise, especially not so close to the wedding. Things with Draco had just been a fiery passion that had fizzled out the moment I realized he hadn't changed. If Ron had asked me months ago, prior to the dinner that changed everything, I might not have so adamantly denied it, but as it stood Draco Malfoy was no longer a part of my life and certainly nothing for Ron to be concerned over.

"It was nothing," I assured him quietly. Ron didn't reply, in fact he didn't even acknowledge that I had spoken. Instead he merely stared at me as if trying to glean the entire truth about the situation from my eyes. Whatever he saw there must have satisfied him though because he eventually nodded and slapped my back roughly.

"Let's round up the guys and go get pissed," he suggested, getting up and calling the other guys over. I followed them out, eager to be rid of the horrid strip club, but mostly relieved that Ron had dropped the subject. I wouldn't have been able to bear telling Ron that I had kissed Malfoy, and that not only had I kissed him, but that those lips were the most tender and perfect lips I could ever imagine and kissing Draco Malfoy had been better than any kiss I'd shared with Ron's sister.

I didn't want either of us to end the night in St. Mungo's wearing a straight jacket, so I kept my mouth shut and so did he. All was well.

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Three pubs and nearly a dozen drinks later I was laughing and stumbling my way to the next destination. None of us were in any condition to Apparate, so we decided to walk to the pub next door to the one we had been in before.

"You're sucha lightweight," George slurred as he threw his arm around my shoulders.

"Me?" I replied, a little too loudly. "What 'bout you?"

"Sluts!" George shouted suddenly, pointing at two innocent women walking down the street. "Do either of you lovely ladies want to take a ride on the George Express?" he asked, pulling me over to the strangers with him. Both women simply rolled their eyes and continued walking, and I couldn't seem to stop my laughter.

"Rejected!" I yelled too close to his ear and he winced and pulled away.

"Yeah? Well so what?" he asked, still slurring slightly. "So what if I'm lonely all the time? So what if I miss Fred?"

My heart broke all over again at the mention of the twin's name. We rarely talked about him, even so many months later the hurt was still too fresh for any of us to bear. "I'm sorry," I whispered, sobering a bit at the thought of Fred and what George must go through every day without his closest friend and brother.

"Pfft," he scoffed. "You've got it all, Mate. No reason for you to be sorry." The man was sounding bitter towards me, more so than I would have liked, but what could I say? I did have everything, I had a beautiful fiancé, great friends, a warm and loving adopted family. What else could I ask for?

Ron interrupted, pulling his brother over to Charlie so they could console him while leaving me alone to wander over to the next pub. All the other guys had dropped off and went home after the first pub and I was ready to call it a night, resolving to just wait for the Weasley brothers inside the small little tavern called 'Well Wishes'. I doubted they would take long, but just in case I took a seat at the bar and ordered a mineral water to try and sober up a bit.

After nearly gulping the entire glass down I still wasn't feeling much like myself until I looked across the bar and saw a shock of white blonde hair. "Draco," I whispered to myself and the man looked up at my words as if he'd heard me, which was impossible. The din in the pub would have prevented it even if he had been sitting right beside me, but he looked up all the same and those sharp gray eyes bored into mine for a split second before looking quickly back down at his pint.

I didn't know what compelled me over, or why I didn't just leave the pub right then and seek the Weasley brothers in the street outside, but I got up and strolled over to him, pausing when he looked confusedly up at me.

"How have you been?" I asked, and realized I wasn't nearly as sober as I should be for a conversation with this man.

He frowned and pulled the stool beside him out, gesturing for me to sit. "You're drunk," he observed. "Sit down before you fall down."

I hesitantly took the offered seat, but couldn't seem to stop staring at his lips. Without realizing my folly I reached out and ran my finger against those beckoning lips before he pulled away with a sharp shake of his head. "No more games," he demanded harshly.

"I was never playing games," I rebuked, my anger from his outburst the last time we saw one another returning. "I was fucking in lov-" I began, before snapping my mouth tightly shut. I was too far gone to be talking to Draco. Nearly telling the man that I had been in love with him was not a conversation I wanted to start with the angelic blonde.

He sat there looking dumbstruck, his gray eyes widening slightly. "What?" he pried. "What did you just say?"

"You were right. I'm pissed, I shouldn't be here talking to you," I groaned, moving to get up and stumbling. Draco caught me in his strong arms and for a moment I was reminded of the clumsiness that had led to our first kiss. I wanted desperately to feel the press of those smooth lips once more, but even in my beer-addled state I knew it was wrong.

Draco fished into his pocket and produced a thin glass vial, which he quickly uncorked and upended into my mouth. Sobriety dripped over me like a wet towel being wrung over my head; coating me in an icy bath. Several things came to the forefront of my mind in that moment. The proximity of Draco's face to mine was both seductive and frightening, the noise of the pub was suddenly making my head throb, and I wanted nothing more than to throw caution to the wind and take Draco home with me. Sure my engagement would be over but I would finally be able to fulfill the most delicious fantasy I had ever dreamed; Draco Malfoy sprawled nude and pale against my sheets.

"Harry," Draco whispered and the sound of my name on his lips nearly made me close the gap between us, except another voice called my name at the same time.

Ron had stumbled into the pub and upon not seeing his friend right away, decided to call out for me instead of search for me in the crowd. I wasn't sure which I was most happy about, the fact that he hadn't seen me nearly snog Draco or the fact that he was probably too sloshed to remember any of it in the morning. Either way, seeing Ron followed in by his brothers, brought to mind the reason I was marrying Ginny. I wanted a family, and I would get an immediate one with the Weasleys, and eventually I would have my own with Ginny. Draco couldn't give me that, nor could I even ask it from someone who was probably just a heated fling.

"Over here," I called back, moving away from Draco and standing on my own before walking across the bar to meet Ron. "I think we should go home."

"Right," he huffed, turning around and leaving without a word to Malfoy, I wasn't even sure he had seen the Slytherin.

I glanced at the blonde one last time and gave him a sad smile before following the other men out. Once I got them each home and situated -the potion Draco had slipped me allowing me to sober up enough for Side-Apparition- I popped back to that pub, but I didn't go in this time.

It was late, and the pub was still packed full of patrons, but my eyes were for one alone. Draco still sat in the same place, looking as if he was still nursing the same pint, but this time I didn't whisper his name or call his attention to my presence lingering just outside the foggy glass.

I just wanted to take a moment to admire the man sitting inside, his beauty, his grace, his regal mannerisms. He seemed so out of place in the grubby bar, but I wasn't going to complain. Draco was warm and lovely and I knew right that moment exactly what I was missing by deciding to marry Ginny.

Hermione might have been right, Draco might be that spark for me, the one I just thought was a fairytale until I kissed the Slytherin prat and my world went topsy-turvy. Still, what good would it do to ruin all I had built when it wasn't clear to me what Draco even wanted? For all I knew he just fancied a shag with the Great Harry Potter and then call it a day, he certainly couldn't want the same things I did -that kind of compatibility I'd barely been able to find in Ginny.

Although, as I watched him -a silently brooding angel- I knew deep down that what Draco required from me was no shallow insignificant thing. We could be fireworks together, he and I... but fireworks always fizzle out eventually and fairytales don't come true.

I let my exhaling huff of breath fog the window further as I pulled my gaze from the unsuspecting blonde. The stony street was slick with old rainwater and my feet were unsteady as I walked away from that pub window, away from my Draco and back toward real life.

Author's Note: So the next chapter begins the wedding...