The Anti-Angst Movement

Chapter 3 : The Diagon Alley Cliché

~*~

It wasn't until Harry closed the door to Privet Drive 4 that he really thought about what was happening. He paused, glancing back at the door in a way that Draco found adorable, as he hadn't taken his eyes off Harry since he had heaved his trunk down the stairs to Draco's feet.

"Um, Malfoy?"

"Yes?"

"How... are we getting there?"

"I'll be driving."

At this green eyes snapped up to lock with silver ones, surprise obvious in the verdant orbs. "What?!"

Draco had to repress a smile. "I said, I'll be driving. Professor Snape taught me how to drive this summer."

Harry didn't know which to be more surprised at, the fact that Draco Malfoy knew how to drive, or the fact that he was taught how to drive by Severus Snape.

Unfortunately, Harry wasn't able to choose which, as at that moment the taller boy seized his hand with one hand and his trunk with the other and proceeded to drag both to a small, fashionable car parked in the driveway. Harry stared at it for a second before the side door opened and he was shoved inside. He stared blankly at the dashboard, noting the clean smell of the car, as well as a few trinkets that were undoubtedly Draco's.

He heard another car door slam, and then Draco was climbing into the driver's seat beside him. Without really thinking about it he pulled on his seatbelt, while tucking his hands to either side of his legs.

Draco flashed a smile at him, and then they were off.

~*~

Later Harry noted that the car was obviously one of those magical cars like those of the Ministry, for it was faster than a speeding police car, able to leap long traffic lines in a single bound, and more powerful than a Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes product...

~*~

Draco pulled to a stop about two shops down from the Leaky Cauldron. He turned to Harry and opened his mouth to speak.

Only for Harry to cut him off. "Is this car magical?"

Oh, Harry... "Yes."

"Like Sirius' motorcycle and the Ministry's cars?"

"Yes."

"Oh."

"Yes." Draco suppressed a smile and opened his mouth to speak again.

Harry cut him off. Again. "Are you going to go in with me?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Image."

"Oh, yeah..."

Draco suppressed a sigh and another smile. He opened his mouth to sp--

"Hey, Malfoy?"

Bloody Gryffindors! "Yes?"

"Why is the sky blue?"

You have got to be kidding me. "Because of the strong signal from the blue receptors in your... Potter."

A mischievous grin. "Yes?"

"Am I to ascertain that the first two questions were real, and the last one was just to annoy me?"

"Possibly. Why?"

"Just wondering."

"Right."

Draco rolled his eyes, reached over to clap a hand over Harry's opening mouth, and FINALLY got around to what he was saying.

"Chirp."

"BLOODY HELL!"

"...Harry wears short shorts?"

"That's it, I don't care what the Ministry says, that bird is DEAD!"

Harry was trapped under Draco's hand while the blonde was attempting to murder the poor, innocent canary who just *had* to come along so he could get another view of those wonderfully short shorts (which, you must remember, Harry wasn't even *wearing* - or was he?), so he couldn't really do anything to save the bird (or stop Draco from hurting him.) So he did the only thing he could think of.

He licked Draco's hand.

The Slytherin froze. The canary froze. Hell, even the car seemed to freeze. Or was that antifreeze? Harry wasn't sure.

About 3.2 seconds after Harry licked Draco's hand, Draco reacted.

"Bloody hell," came the hoarse whisper. Harry had to wonder what was wrong as Draco took his hand away. An uncomfortable silence filled the car, as Draco stared off into space, Harry eyed Draco out of the corner of his eye, and the canary looked between the two with a look remarkably reminiscent of one Hermione Granger. That is to say, very calculating and superior.

(Of course, at the time, the devious canary had been plotting a way to steal Harry's Short Shorts and tie them to one of the Quidditch goals at Hogwarts. How the bird knew of Hogwarts and Quidditch goals, we don't know. Then again, how can a bird talk? ... It's MAGICAL!)

Harry was just starting to feel the burn of the silence when a hand grabbed him, hauled him over the stick-shift, and deposited him in a warm lap. Harry eeped again and stared as Draco grabbed his chin and pulled him in for...

...a low-murmured talk in his ear. "Harry, I'll have to warn you now: if you do that again, the results won't be pretty." Harry had to suppress a shiver. "You are going to get out of the car, gather your trunk, and go into the Leaky Cauldron alone. You will check in with Tom and go up to your room. Ten minutes later I will go up to my room. When I knock on your east wall three times, gather your school list and money and go to Diagon Alley. An Auror will be watching you from then on. I'll meet you in your room at one o'clock. All right?"

Harry nodded quickly, his eyes wide. Draco's warm breath was doing wonders to his sensitive ear, and he was feeling rather warm himself...

At that moment, Draco picked him up and put him back in his rightful seat. Harry almost pouted at the loss of warmth, but he spotted something else. Or, rather, someone. Someone that made Harry's entire world perk up and say,

"Ron!" ...as cried by the overjoyed Harry.

Draco's eyes widened, and he turned a silver stare onto the tall redhead climbing out of the taxi in front of them. The redhead helped out another redhead, only this one was a girl and only came up to the boy's mid-chest.

"And... Ginny..." Harry deflated. He wasn't ready to face Ginny yet. Not after their failed relationship that lasted only, oh, about two weeks at the end of last term. He just didn't feel right with her. Plus the hair reminded him of Ron, and Ron had long been placed in the "Never Going To Involve Sex" category that Harry filed his peers into.

[Others in the NGTIS category were Albus Dumbledore, Severus Snape, Minerva McGonagall, other Hogwarts professors, Remus, Hermione, and Colin Creevey. Oooh, shudder at the last one.]

The redhead let his sister pass then helped out another girl, who was taller with long brown hair.

Harry immediately perked up again, sparkles and all. "And Hermione!"

Draco was very fortunate that the windows were the special tinted ones - where you look out and see every detail imaginable but you look in and you see black, making it so that while inside you can make faces at someone outside all you want and they'll NEVER notice - because at that moment Ron panned a view of the surrounding street, the blue eyes passing over Draco, the car, and Harry. Not seeing anything of importance, the youngest male Weasley led his sister and girlfriend into the Leaky Cauldron, trunks and all.

Harry looked slightly put off by Ron not seeing him, but the glow of seeing his friends made him push it aside. He flashed a wide grin at Draco and leaped out of the car, a "Bye, Malfoy!" escaping his lips. A few minutes later, he was dragging his trunk into the Leaky Cauldron.

Draco sighed, glanced at the clock, and started daydreaming. Ahh... Harry and whipped cream...

~*~

Meanwhile, in another part of the car, a certain yellow canary was plotting...

~*~

Harry smiled as he waved bye to his friends. They were going to finish their shopping while he went to meet Drac--er, Malfoy. Er, Draco. Oh, hell. That's it, he's Ferret Boy and I'll say nothing else. Harry glanced at his watch to make sure he wasn't late, realized he would be if he stood around any longer, and started toward the Leaky Cauldron.

Malf--er, Ferret Boy has such nice legs... And it felt rather nice to sit in his lap. Kinda like Justin, only... different. Justin was really sweet, letting me sit in his lap when there was nowhere else to sit. Too bad his wand was poking me in the butt the whole time, now that was uncomfortable. Hmmm... from what I've seen in class, I bet Draco's wand is bigger. Probably a bit wider, too.

Suddenly Harry remembered what 'wand' could stand for. He stopped in front of his door, thinking about that.

Ooooh... Harry felt faint at such thoughts. What would that feel like? Eurgh, what if that wasn't Justin's REAL wand, but actually his d--

Harry wasn't able to finish that thought, as the door chose that moment to open.

~*~

Draco, at the very same moment Harry had first thought about Justin's wand, had just remembered that Prefect meeting where there had been no seats left due to a few teachers' presences, and how a certain Hufflepuff had offered HIS Gryffindor honey a lap to sit in. Draco had been very glad that Severus was next to him, otherwise he probably would have shot out of his seat and strangled the maniacally grinning canary. Who was sitting on the other side of him. And he could tell just by looking that Finch-Fletchley was hard. Harry had seemed distinctly uncomfortable, and when Harry had asked Justin to move his wand, Draco had nearly cackled with delight (for he knew that at that time, Harry had no idea what a 'wand' could stand for) .

Draco allowed himself a rare full-blown demonic grin at the memory.

A few seconds later, Draco realized that someone was outside the door. Footsteps had stopped, and two sneakers could be seen under the door. Draco smiled. Harry was here.

The graceful Slytherin rose and crossed the room to the door, reaching forward and turning the knob that would allow him to see his beloved. He pulled open the door, meeting Harry's eyes.

Which were stunned. And horrified. If Draco looked hard enough, he could even see some of that good old Gryffindor mortification.

A blonde eyebrow arched. Now what was Harry thinking about? "Come in, Potter." He stepped aside for the mortified Gryffindor to enter.

Harry numbly followed orders, his mind blank. As he walked by Draco he paused, lifting his head up to stare at the taller Seeker. "Malfoy..."

The other eyebrow followed its twin. "Yes?"

"You know Justin Finch-Fletchley, right?..."

Unfortunately... "Yes..."

"...And he's gay, right?..."

He knows?! "Yes, I believe so."

"...Does he like me?"

... "..."

A long pause. "Erm... Malfoy?"

"Yes. He likes you."

"Oh." Another lengthy pause. "Okay."

Draco had to clench his fist to make sure he didn't ram it into the wall. His voice stayed calm. "Why do you ask, Potter?"

"Oh, um..." Here the slim Seeker blushed. Draco's eye twitched.

"What, do you like him back?"

Emerald eyes snapped up to meet his silver ones. "W-what?!"

Draco was allowed a small sense of relief. The shock was too real. His miniature sides (Horny-Angel!Draco and Horny-Devil!Draco) did a little jig. "I said, do you like him back?"

"No!"

"Then why do you ask?"

"Because... erm..."

Sigh. Gryffindors. "Is this about that Prefect meeting."

Bottle-green eyes snapped up to meet his again. "Erp."

"I thought so. He's nothing but a horny bastard, Harry, don't worry about him. Now, I need to discuss a few things with you."

"Ah... all right..." Harry could only blink (several times in fact) as he was led from the doorway to Draco's bed.

The more Slytherin side of his brain (Devil!Harry) perked up. "Oooh, look! He wants to shag Harry!"

Angel!Harry popped up and tapped Devil!Harry's shoulder. "Ahem. Harry's not supposed to know that his subconscious desires Draco until he goes to sleep tonight."

Devil!Harry blinked. "Oooh, that's right!" He pumped a tiny fist into the air of Harry's head. "We get to imagine ourselves getting excessively shagged by hot, hot Draco tonight!"

Angel!Harry cackled, hijacked Devil!Harry, and ran off to plan tonight's dream.

Fortunately, unlike a lot of Hogwarts' students (and faculty), Harry wasn't in tune with the voices in his head, and so missed the conversation entirely.

~*~

"Aaaauuugghh!"

Harry sat straight up in bed, panting slightly. He shuddered as the remnants of the dream flitted through his mind and hugged his knees to his chest. "Oooh," the Seeker moaned into his knees, "Not that stupid Sirius shags Snape dream again... I don't know if I can take it anymore..."

A gentle hand touched his shoulder then. Harry jumped a good seventeen centimeters off the bed in fright. He whirled around and found himself face to face with his Slytherin adversary, Draco Malfoy.

Malf--no, Draco smiled reassuringly at him. That was all it took.

Harry wondered what thoughts were going through Draco's mind as the Slytherin found his arms full of a shaking Harry Potter. Gently, the taller boy lowered the two to the bed, softly stroking Harry's back and whispering comfort into the smaller boy's ear.

Harry soon felt his shaking fade, leaving him feeling warm wherever Draco touched him, and goose-pimply where he didn't. He looked up into silver eyes. Immediately he felt faint at the sheer emotion expressed in the stormy orbs.

"Draco..." he managed weakly.

The blonde smiled at him, then leaned down to kiss him.

Harry was sure he gasped when the other's lips met his. Surely this had to be a dream. But in his dreams, when the Slytherin touched him like this, he always woke up screaming... and Harry surely wasn't screaming now. A tongue slipped into his mouth, and suddenly, he was on his back, Draco straddling him and gently pinning his arms to the pillow. A ghostly hand traced down his side. Those soft, warm lips were still on his, and he was beginning to feel something pressing into his thigh, something that made his heart flutter...

~*~

And Harry woke with a gasp, his dark hair matted against his forehead with sweat. The young Seeker pressed a hand to his forehead.

"Oh, lord," he breathed, green eyes staring at nothing, "Did I just have a wet dream about Malfoy?"

The ache between his legs told him yes. And Harry, unable to process anything else, wished to himself that he hadn't woken up.