Living in the Past

Chapter One

The Loss of a Friend

Remus Lupin sat The Daily Prophet down on the table with a deep sigh. The Ministry had finally wizened up and realized that Voldemort was very much alive again and was back at full power.

Lucius Malfoy and the rest of the Death Eaters that had been captured had broken out of Azkaban. Not that he had been expecting any different. Without dementors putting the Death Eaters in Azkaban was just as safe and secure as putting them in a playpen.

Headquarters was horrible without having Sirius there. Kreacher was still hobbling around, muttering insults, and worshipping the crazed portrait of Mrs. Black. Mundungus was still trying to smuggle in stolen cauldrons and brooms. Molly was still cooking and frowning upon Fred and George whenever they popped in to show off their new products. Everyone was still there. Except Sirius.

Sirius wasn't there to make jokes about Kreacher. He wasn't there to help me pull the curtains closed over the portrait of Mrs. Black whenever someone made the mistake of ringing the doorbell. He wasn't there to remember James with or to watch over Harry and help him with his problems. He wasn't there. He would never be there again.

I still half expect him to walk through the door, smile, give a joke about why he was late for dinner, eat, and then make more jokes and give advice. I think everyone thinks that. Especially Harry. Sirius' death hit him especially hard. It was his last parent figure. He loved Sirius like a brother, a best friend, and a dad.

I try to fill Sirius' shoes. I try to stay positive and live life normally. I try to be a father figure to Harry. I can't do it. I'll never be able to do it. Nobody will ever be able to do it. Except Sirius.

Everyone is even more persuaded to stop Voldemort now. That's the only good thing that's come from Sirius' death.

He was never really cleared. The search for him has stopped, the Ministry has made an announcement that he's innocent but he still isn't really cleared. People still say that he's guilty and evil. Some people still refuse to believe he's innocent. Nobody really cares that he's passed on except for members of the Order. Most people's only memories of him are of murder and betrayal.

I guess he's happier now. I don't really know. Nobody knows. At least wherever he is he won't have to stay locked up anymore. He won't have to hide anymore. He's free now. Nobody can hurt him. Maybe he's even with Lily and James.

I wish I was with them. I have nobody now. Sirius is dead. James is dead. Peter is as good as dead. I have no one, except Harry and the Order.

It isn't fair. Sirius had to experience pain his whole life. His childhood was horrible. His adult life was horrible. He only had a good ten years of happiness, during school and the few years after it, before James and Lily died. It isn't fair. But who said life was fair? I know for a fact that fairness is the last thing life possesses.