The Great Hogwarts Body Switch

The Hall was quiet for a moment before it began to roar with laughter. The great and scary Professor Snape was housed in the body of shy, innocent Ginny Weasley. He had lost that terrifying edge that came along with the hooked nose and pale skin. Everyone but Ernie McMillan who suddenly blushed a bright red. Snape turned around and attempted to give the crowd his most menacing glare, but most people knew Ginny as a relatively sweet person, so this just made her look like she was constipated. Snape gave up and stomped up to the Headmaster to receive his ‘name tag.’

And like this, a simple process began. A name was called, a person hesitated but eventually walked up, the Great Hall exploded in a laughter so loud that the suits of armor rattled with the vibration and the drapes on the walls threatened to fall down. And like this, people were revealed. Sprout in Cho Chang’s body, Cho in Seamus’, Seamus in Hannah Abbot’s.

Some people even seemed to be having fun with it. When Draco’s name was called, Hermione proudly walked up the the front with a smirk on her face that almost made her look Slytherin.

“Hey Granger, looks like I’m going to have fun with this tonight!” he shouted, causing Ron (Hermione) to blush and grit his teeth until he looked like an angry carrot on fire.

“Don’t even think about it Malfoy. You-“

He laughed. “I won’t need to think about it anymore. I have you in my hands. Why, I could show everyone what you look like under these robes if I wanted to.”

Hermione nearly had a heart attack. Draco was right. But luckily Dumbledore raised his hand and added,

“Mr. Malfoy, that is enough. You will not embarrass Ms. Granger like that. If anyone even attempts to embarrass or humiliate the body that are currently occupying, there will be severe consequences.” Even in a midget body, Dumbledore still managed to maintain authority over his charges.

The naming continued until everyone had a name, a body, and a few very vague answers. Dumbledore and the faculty, a mixture of students and one remaining teacher, promised to find a solution for them. Harry, Ron, and Hermione, after getting used to seeing one another in that state, moved into a corner of the Gryffindor common room.

Ron, blushing slightly, said, “Hermione, um, I would really appreciate if you would, maybe…Well I mean to say that could you not- “

“What are you trying to say Ron? Just spit it out already!” snapped Hermione, who had just now realized something. Something very very bad.

“Well, could you not look down my pants? That would be really weird.”

Hermione looked up. “I would ordinarily listen to you. But one teensy thing has come up.”

Ron looked at her skeptically, “What’s wrong?”

“I have to go to the bathroom,” came the squeak from Hermione as she looked at the floor.

“Oh shit.”

“Well we could try something…”

*-*-*

Ten minutes later Hermione found herself in an extremely compromising position. Ron continued to insist that he did not want Hermione inspecting his ‘manhood’ and would have to just pee himself.

“Honestly, Ron, I will see be seeing it eventually.” Realizing what she had said, Hermione clamped her hand over her mouth.

“I meant- I mean that if we are stuck like this then I will have to take a shower and piss more than once. I don’t think you will be around to be there like this all the time.”

“But Hermione, this process would work!”

The process consisted of Ron ‘helping’ Hermione pee while she closed her eyes and placed both her hands over them so that she couldn’t peek. But the problem lay in the fact that Hermione could still feel him and that was not good. Especially not in the body of a fifteen-year-old boy. Because as soon as Hermione had finished peeing, Ron had kept his hand on his original member. A shock went through Hermione’s body, well Ron’s body. She couldn’t help it and opened her eyes. Three thoughts went through her head at once.

1) Wow, that’s big! Are all of them like that?

2) I have a penis! I, Hermione Granger, prefect and possible Head Girl, have a member of the male anatomy!

3) Ron is touching it! He’s touching ME!

But just as immediately, one thought erased the others.

Damn, this feels good….

And let’s just say that poor Hermione experienced something that most boys do when their ‘member’ is being touched. Ron nearly fainted, opting to bang his head on the urinal.

*-*-*

Not all of the good and innocent students of Hogwarts could maintain, or attempt to maintain, their dignity as Ron and Hermione were so pathetically trying. The Slytherins, especially, were determined not to let anything get in the way of their infamous sex lives. Some, acting very un-Slytherin like, actually tracked down and asked permission to use their new bodies. Some blushing Hufflepuffs agreed, a few Ravenclaws thought about it, and most Gryffindors just slapped them in the face. But acting very Slytherin, they didn’t let a couple no’s stop them and merely continued on. Dumbledore attention was finally reached, students found him struggling to look over his desk, and he agreed that this certainly was a problem, but sadly very little could be done.

The students and teachers were left to fend for themselves.

So of course, all went to hell.