The Great Hogwarts Body Switch

It was a peaceful night in Hogwarts, that day in September. The students were sleeping soundly in their beds, save about a dozen or so in the Ravenclaw common room and one Hermione Granger, who sat in front of the Gryffindor fireplace determined to memorize the Plumus Transforia charm before sunrise. The house-elves were scurrying around the kitchens, cleaning the dinner plates, cleaning the floors, cleaning the laundry… cleaning everything they could get their hands on in short and then some. All in all, that night at the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry was quite silent.

But in a deep dark cave, it was not so silent.

“Bring me the Venomous Tentacula vines, Wormtail. We must finish this tonight,” called a dark voice. A man with a silver hand immediately went and returned with a stained cloth bag.

“Here you are Master. Is this the final ingredient?” Wormtail was hesitant in asking questions of any sort but he also knew that the potion must be finished under the seventh day of the waning moon.

“Yes,” replied the Master, adding the crimson vines to the already red mixture. The concoction, strangely enough, did not remain red but turned clear.

“It is finished. Now we wait.”

Later that night, no one saw the dirty rat scamper into the kitchens. No one saw the clear vial on the collar around its neck. No one saw the rat transform into a similarly dirty man, pour the vial into the stores of pumpkin juice to be served the next morning and then turn back into a rat. And no one saw that the rat happened to have a silver right paw…

Harry Potter woke up the next morning as he had done for the past five years. His fellow fifth-years were stretching all around him and slowly making their ways to the bathroom. Harry leaned over to the stand by his bed and pressed the ‘Snooze’ button on his Auto-Alarm (“Guaranteed to wake you up unless you’re deaf or dead!”) before shuffling off to the bathroom himself.

“I will still never get used to having Divination with that old bat and then having double Potions. I’m starting to think it’s a conspiracy, you guys.”

That was Ron, the red-haired best friend of Harry and the aforementioned Hermione. The students were sitting at their breakfast table in the Great Hall, happily munching on buttered toast and arguing about the Quidditch Match last night between the Falmouth Falcons and the Wimbourne Wasps. Ron was arguing with Dean Thomas and Seamus Finnigan who were sitting next to him.

“If tho’ Fal’ou ad n’ ea’ed, the Wa ‘s ou’ ve on!” claimed Ron while simultanesouly shoving bacon, eggs, and pancakes, all with inhuman speed, into his mouth.

“That’s gross, Ron. Finish chewing first and then repeat whatever nonsense you were saying,” said Hermione in a disgusted tone.

Ron quickly finished chewing and, his face turning as red as his ever-so-famous hair, sputtered, “It is NOT nonsense! Those Falcons knocked one of the Wasp’s Chasers right off their broom! It was so obvious.”

“But Kevin from Ravenclaw said that the Chaser fell off because he has the upper-body strength of a flobberworm, not because of Hillsby.”

And that comment was the little spark that began the debate over whether the Falcons did cheat and then into the likelihood that they would knock their own mother off a broomstick to get the Quaffle. The argument was interrupted when Dumbledore stood up to make an announcement.

“As I am sure you all have heard by now, the school dance that was being planned after the success of last year’s Yule Ball will be held during the Halloween season and therefore it will be a costume party in keeping with the spirit of Halloween. Details including the date and the years that will be allowed to attend will be announced sometime this week. Now swallow that toast, drink that pumpkin juice (the poor old man did not even know what he was saying) and head down to class.”

Almost at the same time, all of the students and teachers who were finishing up their breakfasts raised their glasses and drank.

The Great Hall exploded with chatter as Dumbledore’s speech sunk in.

“Another ball? I hope it’s as fun as last year!”

“I wonder if they can get the Weird Sisters to perform again?”

“Good! Now I can show you all my new dress robes.”

At the last remark, said by Ron, caused the entire section around him to go quiet. They all remembered his robes last year, and how upset he had been.

“You have new robes, Ron?” asked Hermione timidly.

“Yeah. Fred and George decided to buy me and Ginny new robes for this year. I don’t know why, though, but I can’t say I’m complaining! I s’pose its from their money from their joke magazine.

Harry suddenly became very interested in the lump of jam on his plate, but Hermione continued on.

“Your mother must’ve finally given them permission then.”

Ron burst out laughing. “Are you crazy? She doesn’t even know. They put it all under an alias-”

But the name was never revealed because at that moment, the grandfather clocks in the halls chimed eight. As the people in all of Hogwarts heard them, the potion that they had just drunk took effect. They all fell down, unconscious. People lay on their breakfast plates, bits of scrambled egg in their hair, their hands out to reach for more milk. Even the teachers collapsed on site, McGonagall in the hall to her classroom, Snape on his chair spilling Ashwinder eggs all over the floor.

Miles away, a voice whispered, “It has been done.”