Snape's Worst Day

Chapter 1: The Fateful Letter

A strange breeze was blowing in the sprinkling rain that was entirely magical. This breeze was invisible to the naked eye, but if it could be seen it would have cast a transparent orange hue. The mist drifted slowly in between the raindrops at a leisurely pace towards the direction of Hogwarts Owlery.

This was an ancient breeze, heavy with ancient magic. Whether its intention was for ill or good was unfathomable. It sought with a purpose...drawn to something.

Or someone.

* * *

Severus Snape warily peeked around the corner of a corridor before cautiously stepping down, his eyes wildly roamed around for any sign of movement. His fingers twitched over to his bulging pockets; counter spells and potions were ready at the drop of a hat. Usually, there was NOTHING that a student could do that would ever impose Severus Snape. Nothing...but for the exception of this day.

Severus felt the burn of anger flash before his eyes. THIS is the one day that he dreaded the most out of the entire year. It was on this day that paranoia would overrule him to jump at even the slightest sound of a quill being dropped.

"This is going to be a long day," he muttered to himself before making a last look around at the empty hallways, and made a dash towards the Great Hall.

* * *

"Why, good morning Severus!" Lupin smiled winningly at Snape.

Snape glared at his fellow employee in return, then proceeded to place himself at the farthest end of the table away from Lupin. Remus Lupin had returned to work as 'Defense Against the Dark Arts' teacher shortly after the Tri-Wizard Tournament, a move made by Dumbledore that did not suite Severus very well at all.

"I hope you have not forgotten what day it is!" Lupin waved cheerfully at Snape from the other end of the table. Severus stopped munching on his toast to glare at him. 'How could I?' he thought to himself. 'I *HATE* April first!'

After breakfast, Severus was able to slink away from the hustle and bustle of the morning rush to first period. He wanted to have as little contact with the students and staff as possible. Then maybe, he could survive this day without any disasters.

Snape had good reason to fear this day. Being the most unpopular teacher at Hogwarts had put him on quite a few of his student's hit lists. Needless to say, he was the most likely target of practical jokes from both students and staff. Ahh, but he had his potions and his counter spells that he had been preparing in the last few weeks. THOSE had saved him from being the butt end of many practical jokes in the past.

Little did they know, it is he who would have the last laugh today! Severus Snape was practically a walking encyclopedia of all the April Fool's Day pranks in existence, nobody could ever hope to outwit him! Severus smirked at his thoughts, then reached for the door to his dungeon classroom, and thus began his day.

* * *

Four hours had past. So far Severus had been able to avoid many a predictable disaster with ease. None of his students dared to perform a spell in front of him, they were too weary of his acute sense of hearing and had resorted to stealth. A bucket full of icy water suspended over his door was the first prank attempted on him, (the most classically clichéd prank.) Next was his chair, which had been hexed numerous times with gluing charms on the seat. Even his quills were subjected to overused disappearing ink tricks. Not to mention the chaos that would have ensued if the had not confiscated the dung bombs and stink pellets from the second years (it was a fine day for detentions and point deductions). Class ended uneventfully, so far Severus was ahead of the game.

Lunch break, then afterwards an hour with the Slytherin and Gryffindor fifth years. Snape had a rare a Parent-Teacher conference scheduled after school, with a Mr. Albert Perkins concerning his third year Ravenclaw son, Lienus Perkins. His son had been failing Potions almost miserably as Longbottom. Instead of reasonably punishing the boy, the father had decided to arrange an appointment with his teacher on the matter. 'Like he would be able to make a difference with ME!' Snape smirked.

* * *

Snape was stopped by a house elf while on his way to the staff room.

"What? A message for me?" He scowled suspiciously at the pink envelope in the elf's hands. House elves were not usually serviced to be messengers.

The house elf nodded frantically. "Y-Yes, Master!" she squeaked. "I is sent by Master Dumbledore, who received it from an urgent owl."

Severus raised an eyebrow at the envelope. "Who sent it?"

The nervous house elf was now shaking from the inquiry, Snape realized that she knew as much as he did on the matter. He gingerly accepted the envelope and muttered,"Thanks," before the house elf scurried off, eager to get away from Snape.

He held the letter as far from himself as possible, and trudged back down to the dungeons, where he could work on testing the measly scrap of paper in peace. It was obviously charmed, and the most obvious April Fool's Day prank that he had ever seen.

'How dare they mock me! Do they actually think that I am that stupid?' Snape thought angrily as he plopped down in his office. After a few simple revealing spells, Snape found that the sender's identity had been blocked. Meaning that whoever had sent it had a measurable amount of brainpower for strategy.

He stared at the letter, it seemed to be radiating an odd sort of orange aura. Then again, perhaps it was just the glare from the tasteless choice of pink that was chosen for the envelope.

'Either way...' Snape smirked. 'No student of mine is going to out-magic me!' He tapped the envelope with his wand.

"Dispello!"

The bright pink envelope shuddered, then turned to a sickly orange. Snape allowed his smirk to turn into a full-blown sneer. "Amateurs!" The envelope now was practically glowing with the ugly shade of orange. Severus waved that off, since glowing was a usual side effect after an item had been dispelled of a charm.

Now, to see if the contents of the letter held any clues to the identity of the unlucky prankster. Snape knew their type, they always had to leave some smart message as a last word. As a teacher, Snape had a keen eye for spotting handwriting styles; signature or no signature. He tore open the envelope eagerly, anticipating the detentions and points that he was about to deduct from the unlucky student.

An explosion of orangey-pink smoke shot out from the open envelope, engulfing Severus Snape before he had a chance to cry out. Then everything went black.

* * *

Severus moaned and rubbed his temples, slowly regaining consciousness. He was sprawled out on the floor of his office. Books, papers and scrolls were scattered everywhere. Whatever had knocked him out was powerful enough to disrupt his belongings from the bookshelves, and had caused chaos in his normally organized office. It would take him hours to replace everything in its rightful spots.

He sat up, his temper flaring. Whoever had done this was going to PAY.

Standing up, he felt light headed and stumbled. Holding onto the edge of the desk, he waited for the dizzy spell to subside. How was this possible? He had dispelled any foul play that was involved in that letter. Unless...

Severus winced. The dispelling spell he had cast must have been the trigger to release the full potency of the explosive spell. He swore, mostly at himself for falling for that ploy. At least he was in the privacy of his office where no one could have witnessed the blunder he had committed. He rubbed his temples again. His face felt a bit sore from the blast, no doubt both his face and hair were a mess from all the smoke.

He reached for his desk mirror, and froze. The reflection of a woman stared back from behind him.

Snape spun around to confront her, but only found the wall staring back at him. Cautiously, he reached for his wand that he kept in the front inside pocket of his robes and felt something in the way.

"What the--" Snape glanced down and saw large lumps protruding from his chest. He gasped. That explosion had caused some horrible deformations to his body! He gaped at the lumps, then it occurred to him...

Reaching for the mirror, Severus took a deep breath and looked.

What he did see was a woman staring back at him, a look of horror stamped across her colour-drained face.

Snape looked down at the lumps on his chest, and then back up at the mirror.

Mirror.

Chest.

Mirror.

Chest.

Mirror.

Chest.

Giving in to the utter horror that had befallen him, Severus Snape screamed a hearty scream that would have done a banshee credit.

Then fainted.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~