Pass the Snog

As Hermione tried to negotiate with Alicia Spinnet, Ron stood a few feet away from them, sweating slightly and pacing. The clock was ticking on the Snogging Spell that Ron now carried on his lips. Much to his surprise, there weren't many girls at Hogwarts who jumped at the opportunity to snog him.

"All right, all right," said Hermione, playing the role of the sweet- talking go-between. "I'll do your homework for a week and I'll help you study for that Arithmancy test; flash cards and everything."

Alicia bit her lip, contemplated the offer, and took a glance at the pacing Ron. She sighed with a friendly smile. "Oh, sure. Why not. Anything to help a friend." Hermione turned to Ron, giving him the thumbs up.

In shock, he hurried over to Alicia and puckered up.

Alicia giggled at the younger student, and leaned forward to snog him. Ron moaned in boyish delight as the seventh-year's tongue worked magic (pardon the pun) inside his mouth. Hermione stood and watched in horror. Her hands rested on her hips as she cast shocked and jealous (though she certainly was not jealous in any way, shape, or form!) looks at the two of them. After the first minute, she finally resolved to pull them apart, saying, "Very well, I'm sure that's more than enough magical snogging, thank you..."

Alicia giggled again, as Ron's lips still squirmed like a fish out of water, even though the kiss had ended. She gave him a childish pat on the head. "There you go, Ronnikins." She promptly skipped away.

"Wow," said Ron at last, his eyes dreamily gazing in the direction Alicia had left. "Who knew older girls were so... talented."

Hermione huffed and rolled her eyes. "Oh, honestly!" She tugged less-than- politely on his arm and dragged him into the Great Hall, where the other students were just beginning lunch.

Ron and Hermione took their seats across from Harry and Neville (Neville of course sitting a safe distance away from Harry). Harry looked over at them questiongly.

"Is everything all right?" he asked.

"Oh, certainly," replied Hermione as she helped herself to some lunch. "Whatever gave you the idea that anything was wrong?"

"But--"

"Just let it go, Harry," said Ron, stuffing his face. "Trust me, you don't want to know any more."

The students continued to eat their meals when suddenly the chatter of the Great Hall was interrupted as Lee Jordan burst through the doors screaming. Everyone stared at him for a moment as he ran to the Gryffindor table, before returning to their meal-time talk as if nothing had happened.

"You've got to hide me," said Lee, squeezing into the Gryffindor table and using Fred and George as human shields.

"What's the matter, Lee?" asked Hermione, looking over at the sixth-year boy.

"It's Eloise Midgen! She's been after me all morning, saying she's got to pass the Snog!" He ducked further down behind Fred and George. "I don't want to be cursed! Even worse, I don't want to be snogged by Eloise Midgen!"

George laughed. "Lee, Eloise doesn't have the Snog."

Lee's brow furled. "She doesn't?"

George shook his head as he reached into his pocket and produced a roll of parchment. "Nope. You see, I've been tracking the Snog all day... Eloise hasn't even been near the Snog. The last I heard from my sources was that Alicia has it."

Hermione gave George a suspicious look. "You've followed the Snog the ENTIRE day? You mean, you know every person it's been to?"

George looked over at her with a devilish grin. "Yes, Hermione, I know exactly who you've snogged, if that's what you're getting at. But don't worry, my lips are sealed... for a price, that is..."

"George Weasley!" Hermione's face was bright red with a combination of anger and embarassment.

"Only joking, Hermione, dear." He chuckled.

"Hermione, you had the Snog?" asked Harry in disbelief. "Who gave it to you?"

"Oh... uh... Well, what does it matter, anyway? This whole thing is really quite immature if you asked me. I can't imagine what childish prankster could possibly find pleasure in watching this..." Hermione stopped suddenly, and looked over at the sinister-looking George. Everyone else followed her gaze, getting the same idea.

"George...." said Hermione, with an accusing mother-like tone. "Did you happen to initiate Pass the Snog Day?"

George shrugged, and a whimsical look came over his face. "The question is not, did I initiate Pass the Snog Day... The question is, did I happen to reinstate an age-old Hogwarts tradition, thus bringing unimaginable joy and educational value to our drab school? If that, Hermione, is the question you mean to ask, then the answer is undoubtedly... no comment."

Hermione sighed. "Oh, honestly."

The table was joined by Katie Bell, who had a look of combined shock and amusement on her face. She sighed and muttered, "What a world..."

"Er, Katie?" asked Fred, inspecting her with curiosity. "Is everything all right?"

Katie paused and looked around the table, at the faces that were now awaiting her response. She seemed to be considering them for a moment, deciding whether or not to share something. She finally made up her mind and said, speaking with a hint of excitement, "I just saw the most bizarre thing I've ever seen at this school."

"Even more bizarre than the time Professor Trelawny and Professor Binns went skinny dipping in the lake?" asked Neville.

Katie thought for a moment, then nodded fiercely. "Yes, even more bizarre than that."

The others waited for her to continue, hanging on the edge of their seats.

"Well?" asked Fred.

"It's Alicia..." Katie cringed, as if the very thought of it gave her chills. "I just found her... in a broom closet... snogging.... with Filch."

There was a simultaneous shudder throughout the group. Lee looked as if he was about to cry.

"I'll never look at her the same way again," he said, shaking his head.

Ron's face had grown rather green. "And to think... she put her Filch-ified tongue in MY mouth. I'm not feeling so good..."

Hermione gasped and supressed a giggle. "So... do you know what this means?" The others looked at her. "Filch has got the Snog."