Pass the Snog

By the time Transfiguration was over, Padma Patil had the Snog. The shock of receiving was almost nothing, though, compared to the shock of seeing her twin sister attached at the tongue to Lavender Brown. She walked through the halls, searching through the sea of the student body, looking for a familiar face to snog. Nearly everyone in her own year and house had already received it during the rather scandalous Transfiguration lesson.

She kept an eager eye out for bright orange hair amongst the crowd, but it seemed Ron had disappeared. She would have to settle for someone else. She passed by a group of sniggering Slytherin third years, all of which needed immediate dental care. *Well, I don't have to settle quite that much* Padma noted to herself.

"So I said, why don't you run to your mummy then, Mudblood," hissed a particularly evil voice. Padma turned and saw the aforementioned Slytherins laughing viciously at what obviously been a horrible joke. Upon closer inspection, she saw that the center of attention, the one who had told the joke, was none other than Draco Malfoy. *Silly git* she thought. *Everyone in his own year is tired of all his stories; he has to tell them to all the younger students.*

Padma noted to herself that he had dashing features, however whenever he went around telling moronic stories they tended to contort into hideous scowls. She began to walk towards the Slytherin clique, rolling her eyes as she tuned into the details of his pitiful story.

"And of course my father said--"

"Nobody cares, Malfoy," Padma said airily.

Malfoy cocked his greasy head and sneered at her. "What did you just say?"

"I said no one cares. You're so moody. It's very unbecoming."

The younger Slytherins giggled, while Malfoy's face grew red with anger. He drew his wand slowly. "Give me one reason why I shouldn't turn you into a newt..."

Padma sighed, and taking a page out of Parvati's book, she went straight for the kill. Malfoy was shocked to find a foreign tongue creeping about in his mouth. The other Slytherins stood gaping. When she pulled away, Malfoy's ever-present sneer of confidence and superiority. He was quite dazed and frightened-- very much like a boy who had never been before.

Padma grinned and gave him a slap on the back. "There now. That wasn't so bad! All you needed was a good snog to get that awful scowl off your face." She began to walk away, leaving the Slytherins in awe. She paused a moment, turned her head and said, "Oh, by the way, Malfoy... Pass the Snog!"

The third years giggled. Malfoy shot them a dark glare that immediately achieved their silence. Crabbe and Goyle appeared behind Malfoy, a little late for their cue.

"What was that?" asked an astonished Goyle.

"Did she say Pass the Snog?" asked an even more confused Crabbe.

"Bloody girl passed me that curse!" said Malfoy, although it was hard to suppress a grin as he watched Padma's curves slink away.

"You better get rid of it," said Goyle. He stuttered into his last few words. "You can pass it to me, Draco. I'll take on the duty of it."

Malfoy blinked. "What?"

"I don't mind really..." Goyle suddenly realized what he'd just said. "I mean, I can take it. Don't you worry about me."

Malfoy scoffed. "Hmmmmm..... how about, no?" He laughed at Goyle, who blushed, and the two started walking towards the dungeons for Potions. Crabbe stood there alone, scratching his head.

"Oh!" he said suddenly, a rare look of discovery upon his face. "She passed you the Snog!"

Malfoy rolled his eyes and kept walking to class, as Crabbe ran to catch up. As they turned the corner to the dungeon doors, a group of Gryffindors stood chatting in front of them. Malfoy sneered as he and his cronies passed them.

"And when I cast the spell, it should bring Trevor right to me!" an anxious Neville Longbottom told the group.

Hermione frowned at him. "Are you sure, Neville? I don't think you should be experimenting with spells like that..."

Neville frowned. "But I've got to find Trevor." He raised his wand and muttered a few words that didn't sound like much of anything. Red sparks popped out of nowhere throughout the entire corridor. Neville's robes caught on fire at the torso. He shrieked and began running around in circles. Hermione chased after him, attempting to cast a spell to put out the fire. Malfoy and the other Slytherins hooted joyfully.

"Draco!" shrieked a female voice.

Malfoy turned, confused, to face a frightened Pansy Parkinson. She point at the hem of his robes; Malfoy saw that he, too, had been touch by a stray red spark. The flames rose up nearer to his backside. He squealed like a girl.

"Aguaria!" called Hermione Granger. She had already extinguished Neville's robes, and had come over to help Draco. He noted that she had certainly taken her time in getting there. He could feel the laughter of Gryffindors and Slytherins alike all around him. He scowled at Neville and stormed into the Potions classroom, the rear of his robes both scorched and soaked.

"Thanks, Hermione," Neville said, blushing.

"No problem at all, Neville," she replied. He filed into Potions with the rest of the students.

He grimaced to himself when the bell rang to signal the beginning of class. Potions had always been his least favorite subject for three reasons: Snape, the Slytherins, and Snape. A Potions class could not go by without Gryffindor losing at least ten points on Neville's behalf, and all because Severus Snape was the meanest man that ever walked the face of the planet. Or at least, to Neville, he was. His stomach grew unsettled as Professor Snape came over to Neville.

"Interesting fashion statement, Mr. Longbottom," the Professor hissed as he examined the enormous scorched hole on Neville's chest. Neville squirmed uncomfortably in his seat as the Slytherins guffawed. Professor Snape grinned in acknowledgement of his own joke, and continued. "Five points from Gryffindor for use of magic in between classes." He eyed Neville a final time as though he were vermin, and then moved to the front of the class to begin his lecture.

Just another day in Potions, Neville thought grimly to himself. As he attempted to make sense of Professor Snape's ramblings and put them in note form, he felt a pair of cold eyes watching him. He snuck glances at the nearby table of Slytherins and found that he was under the angry gaze of Draco Malfoy. He gulped. It was considerably harder to concentrate on his notes as the Slytherins spoke to each other in low voices and kept glaring at him. Oh God, thought Neville. What are they going to do to me? Why did I ever try that stupid spell?

Suddenly, Malfoy kissed Pansy Parkinson. Neville thought this to be extremely odd. One minute they appeared to be conspiring against him, and the next minute they were snogging. The peculiarity of it made him even more worried.

"Now, if you'll get out the homework that I hope for your sake you completed, we'll begin preparing the ingredients," growled Professor Snape from the front of the room.

The shuffling of papers could be heard around the room, and people were beginning to chop up garzee-bush roots. Professor Snape turned his back to the class and began searching through a wooden cabinet. Pansy Parkinson stood up from the table and walked towards Neville with a vicious grin on her face. The rest of the Slytherins snickered venomously as the watched. Neville's root chopping became erratic and uncoordinated (although it wasn't too great to begin with).

"Prof-Professor?" cried Neville, who now feared for his life as Pansy came nearer to him. He could only imagine what horror the Slytherins had cooked up for him.

"Not now, Longbottom," Professor Snape grumbled, not turning away from his cabinet.

"But you see.... Pansy..."

"Don't argue with me! I will be there in a moment!"

It was hopeless. No one was going to help him. He would just have to take whatever was coming to him. Pansy was now hovering over him... she was right next to him... she was closing in. and his punishment was...

A snog?

Neville's face turned purple-- red from blushing and blue from lack of oxygen were mixed together. Pansy pulled away, wiped her mouth, and joined in the ferocious laughter that was coming from the Slytherins' side of the classroom.

"Pass the Snog, dork," hissed Pansy.

"That won't be easy," hooted Malfoy gleefully. "No one would snog that ugly git."

Neville felt intense anxiety as the laughter rose in volume; he could actually feel people slowly creeping away from him. It's always me! he thought. Now I'll be cursed. As he thought about it, though, he realized there were already many unpleasant curses he had stumbled upon. Could anything be worse than what he had already experienced? I'll find out in half an hour, he thought glumly.

"What is going on here, Mr. Longbottom?" cried an angry Snape. He seemed to finally have paid any attention. Neville stood silently as the Slytherins continued to roar with laughter. "Why are you disturbing my class?"

"Please, Professor, Neville didn't do anything," spoke up Hermione. "It was the Slytherins."

"Hold your tongue, Miss Granger. I was speaking to Mr. Longbottom." He shifted his cold gaze from Hermione and focused it upon Neville. "Well?"

Neville began to tremble beneath the evil eye of Snape. This was the part he always hated. "Well, I... you see, sir..."

"Don't stutter, Mr. Longbottom! Tell me what happened!"

"I... what happened was... I... err..."

Snape moved closer to Neville. He towered over him and breathed in his face. "ANSWER ME, YOU STUPID BOY!"

"I... I..." Sweat accumulated on his face. The Slytherins laughter only grew. His hands trembled. Snape growled. Every eye in the class was upon him.

He let out a horrible scream, then leaned forward and snogged Professor Snape

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