The Everlasting Day

1

All other things, to their destruction draw,

Only our love hath no decay;

This, no tomorrow hath, nor yesterday,

Running it never runs from us away

But truly keeps his first, last, everlasting day.

- John Donne, Songs and Sonnets 'The Anniversary'

The night was heavy around him as he laid back into the soft, slightly damp grass and stared up into the crystal-studded canopy of the sky. The heat of the day still lingered in the barely moving air and beads of perspiration peppered his brow, but he lacked the energy or the will to wipe them away. Behind him, tethered to a stile at the edge of the tree line, Buckbeak crunched through fallen leaves and broken branches as he nibbled at the scattered patches of browning grass that had just managed to survive the summer drought. At least he seemed pretty happy, Sirius thought dully. Beaky didn't realise that right now, there were probably groups from the Ministry of Magic searching for him, wanting to carry out the sentence that had been handed out to him a few weeks ago. For a crime that he hadn't committed.

Sirius had no such luxury of ignorance. He knew exactly who was looking for him and he knew what they would do to him if they found him. Guilt or innocence was irrelevant to a Dementor. And, it seemed, to the Ministry.

When he had escaped from Azkaban, it had been with the express purpose of killing Pettigrew before he'd had a chance to kill Harry. The best Sirius had hoped for beyond that was at least a chance to explain to Harry, his godson, what had really happened to his parents and how he had tried so hard to save them. How he had failed them. How sorry he was that, in the end, he had been as helpless as everyone else. It had become vital to him that even if no one else ever knew the truth - even if he had to spend the rest of his life on the run - that Harry truly believed that the last thing he had ever wanted in the whole world was to see Lily and James hurt. And that he would gladly and willingly have given his life if he'd thought that it would have brought Harry's parents back to him.

He had never dreamed, as he had lain in that cold, dark, damp cell that not only would he finally be given that chance, but that he might also have the hope of building a new life for himself and Harry - to give him everything that had been denied him since his parents had died. The bonus of seeing Pettigrew finally getting what he deserved would have been like the gift-wrapping on twelve years worth of Christmas and birthday wishes for himself.

But then everything had fallen apart. Old Moony hadn't taken his potion and when the full moon had risen...

Sirius had been captured, taken up to the tallest tower in Hogwarts and locked back in a cell to await his fate. The deepest, darkest despair he had ever felt in his entire life was his constant companion and he had never been as terrified as he was in those few hours. Until Harry and one of his best friends, Hermione, had arrived at his door with Buckbeak to fly him to his freedom. He'd only had a few moments to thank Harry for saving his life. After coming so close to having his life back again, it had truly torn his heart out to have to leave Harry again so soon. He was sure that Harry had felt it too...some connection with his father, some thin, barely tangible link to a past he had been desperately anxious to know more about...but they hadn't had enough time. Buckbeak, sentenced to death for attacking Lucius Malfoy's son, had carried him away from Harry far too soon, but towards freedom, and that had to be preferable to suffering the Dementors' Kiss, a fate that truly was worse than death. At least now he had time, which was far more than he would have had if he'd remained at Hogwarts.

Twelve long, painful, dark and lonely years he had spent in Azkaban before he had escaped. After that, he had spent a further year on the run before arriving at the Shrieking Shack at Hogsmead, so he supposed he should have been used to his own company by now. He had always coped with his feelings of injustice, futility, anger and regrets before, but seeing Remus again...finally seeing Harry too...seeing how much he looked like James... had made him ache painfully for the company of his old friends. Old times. To come so close to having everything back only to lose it again felt worse than being denied them forever. Now, the loneliness he felt was almost unbearable. Even with Buckbeak - the most loyal, most companionable, gentlest animal he had ever had the pleasure of meeting, the nights were hard. And so very long. He needed the company of a human being, someone to talk to, someone in whom he could confide his fears, his frustrations, his feelings of anger and yearnings for vengeance...

His hopes.

Someone who would listen; who would look at him with warm, welcoming eyes and maybe smile softly as she slipped her arms around him, pulled him close and whispered that everything was going to be alright. He would close his eyes as he would feel the warmth of her breath against his skin and the soothing rhythm of her heartbeat, comforting him, easing the ache, making it possible for him to believe that things really could get better for him. One day. If he kept hoping...

Which was the main reason why he had taken to coming here, to the top of this hill just south-west of the London border in Surrey where he could stretch out in the fresh air and gaze down onto the village at the foot of the valley, its lights blinking and twinkling like a Christmas scene in a Muggle snowglobe. No one ever disturbed Buckbeak and him here. He could lie back in the soft grass, gazing at the Muggle village and would imagine all the lives being lived beneath the slated and thatched roofs - the meals being eaten, the books being read, the jokes being shared, the hugs being received, the love being given - and somehow, he would feel a part of it. A part of something, something greater, something more than Azkaban and the Ministry.

Part of a life that was beginning to feel as though it would be forever beyond his grasp.

But he knew that he would have to stop running soon. The summer would be dying soon and some of the leaves were already beginning to turn to fire on the slowly ageing trees. The Shrieking Shack at Hogsmead had provided last year's shelter over the autumn and winter, but there was no going back there, not now that Snape knew about it. He had to find somewhere else to lie low, somewhere that both he and Buckbeak would be safe from the Ministry hunting them down, or else the pseudo-freedom they now enjoyed would be short-lived and the only kind they would ever have again.

There was one place, he considered as he sat up, shaking bits of grass from his long, straggly, unkempt hair. A place that could offer him and Buckbeak everything they needed while still remaining within a reasonable distance of Hogwarts and Harry, should he need his godfather. A place Sirius hoped, rather than knew, would still be open to him. But it was the best chance Buckbeak and he had right now and even if she couldn't offer him sanctuary, he knew that he could at least trust her to keep his whereabouts a secret. She would never betray him. She was the only one who had believed wholeheartedly in his innocence, the only one who had spoken out in his defence. And who had suffered for it in return.

He just hoped that enough of the feelings she had once had for him remained so that she could find it somewhere in her heart to believe in him again.

Sirius stood up and straightened the long, tattered coat that covered his prison rags as he strode up the grass hill back towards Beaky.

"You ready then, old friend?" he said, untying Buckbeaks' chain and patting his enormous feathered head. The Hippogriff closed his eyes, enjoying the caress for only a few seconds before shaking out his huge wings and bending his neck to allow Sirius to mount.

With a stomach churning lurch, Buckbeak shot up high into the air, Sirius clinging on hard to his chain-reins as his wings beat powerfully against the night air, carrying them away from the field, northwards, towards the Lake District - towards Ariadne Snape.