The Embittering of Severus Snape

By the time of the next Hogsmeade trip, Muriel was getting desperate, which only served to make her angry. She couldn't understand why Severus wouldn't talk to her. The one time she'd managed to sit beside him in a class he'd been distant, and refused to answer any of the questions that were so important to her. He was friendly enough (for him), but firm in his refusals. She couldn't help but wonder what he was trying to protect her from. As the students queued at the doors to go outside, she looked around for him. She didn't see him anywhere.

But Hogsmeade was packed with interesting things to do, especially now that Zonko's was open. Most of the students headed there immediately. Sirius, James, Remus and Peter crowded into the place while Muriel waited outside, glad that the snow had finally disappeared. It was then that she spotted Severus, striding quickly down an alleyway toward the Hogs Head. She ran after him, casting her invisibility spell as she went.

She was able to head him off before he left the alley and tripped him. He fell hard, grunting as he hit the ground. He pushed himself up to sit with his back against the building and looked around. "Hello Mur," he said resignedly. She dropped the spell, and he was a little startled to see that she was kneeling right in front of him with her wand pointed at his nose. The determined look on her face indicated that he would NOT be visiting Malfoy manor today after all.

"Hello Severus. I was wondering if you had a moment to join me for a butter beer, and some conversation." It wasn't a simple invitation, and he knew it. She took his hand to help him up and held it tightly all the way into the Three Broomsticks, which was packed with students. She took him with her straight up to the bar to order, and kept a firm hold on him all the way back to a corner table. When they sat, he felt her wand tapping his leg under the table. She could see the frustration in his face, but she had to know what had happened.

"I think it is about time you answered my questions. And if any of your goon friends come over here I'm going to transfigure them into crumple horned snorkaks."

"There's no such thing as a crumple horned snorkak," he responded lightly. Nevertheless, she noticed him shake his head ever so slightly, and presumed that he'd given them the order to stay put.

"I know," she said grimly. "Wouldn't that make a nice mess? Now, I want to know exactly what happened to you during Christmas break. Is Papa all right?"

"He's fine." Severus hesitated, but her wand tapped warningly on his leg again, and he continued. "The Dark Lord didn't come. He sent Lucius instead. I told him you were injured during Quidditch practice and Madam Pomfrey wouldn't let you come home. I had enough time before he arrived to tell your father the story, and we managed a very nice forged note from Madam Pomfrey. Then Lucius left, and I was able to spend Christmas with Mother. She really is a lot happier now that Father is gone," he finished bitterly. Mentally, he ran down the list of things he couldn't tell her: He'd witnessed the deaths of several Muggles, and one wizard who'd tried to protect his mudblood wife and daughter over the holidays.

As a result, he knew he had to distance himself from Mur completely. She wasn't like Narcissa, content to help from the sidelines. If she ever found out, she'd take the mark too, and he couldn't let that happen. He'd done well with avoiding her since the mirror incident, but now his resolve was weakening. It had been a difficult year so far, without her around, especially with all these rumors about her boyfriend.

Muriel looked at him hard. He was leaving out something important, she was sure of it, but there was no way to get it out of him. "If that's all that happened, why have you been avoiding me?" her tone betrayed that she was hurt, and he looked away uncomfortably. When he looked up again, he noticed her necklace.

"Is that new?" he asked, pointing. It looked suspiciously like a betrothal necklace, though it was silver, so obviously uncharmed.

"Yes, it was a Christmas gift."

"Did Papa send it? Or Aunt Rosa?" He knew that Muriel didn't have much family, and he was pretty sure that none of her friends in Ravenclaw would have spent quite so much on her. It looked really expensive.

"Neither. It was from, er, someone I've been seeing."

Severus raised an eyebrow. "Ah, so we finally admit that we've been sneaking around with someone," he teased. "I've been trying to find out all year who you fancied. Every so often at the beginning of the year I caught you staring off into space, remember?" He kept his voice purposely light to mask his frustration. He'd been trying to figure this out since Halloween and no one had been willing to talk.

"Well, if you hadn't been avoiding me I'm sure you'd have figured it out by now," Muriel replied shortly. "I guess I'll get going, Sev, if that's all you have to tell me." She stood and headed for the door.

"You aren't going to tell me who he is?"

"No," she said over her shoulder as she pushed open the door and went outside into the cold. He smirked wickedly and followed her. 'If she's making it a game, then she must not be serious about him,' he thought to himself.

Muriel stood outside the Three Broomsticks watching for the marauders to come out of Zonko's. She suspected they would buy out the whole store before they were done. She was surprised when Severus followed her and leaned against the wall beside her silently. She was even more surprised when he reached down and took her hand. All their lives she had been the one to take his hand.

"You're freezing," he said quietly, reaching for her other hand and holding them both in his. He bent his head down until their foreheads were touching. "I'm sorry I avoided you," he whispered. "I just - " He was interrupted by a low growl. They turned to see a large black dog bounding toward them from across the street. Muriel dropped his hands quickly. It didn't take much figuring to determine where the dog had come from, though she'd never actually seen him before.

Severus was pulling out his wand, so she knelt down quickly. "Here, er, Snuffles," she said. She couldn't very well call him Padfoot. Everyone had heard James use that nickname once or twice by now. The dog stopped growling and tilted his head sideways at her, then trotted forward and let her scratch his ears.

"Snuffles?" Severus sneered. "You know this dog?"

"Er, yes, sort of. He's a stray I've met here before." She didn't look back at Severus, but kept her eyes on Sirius, who, in turn, was looking at Severus.

The dog's hackles were still raised in spite of Muriel's attention. "Not very friendly, is he?" Severus asked.

"Oh, I don't know. I think he just needs to know that he's loved." The dog's head turned quickly toward Muriel, and his tail began to wag furiously. "See? Calms him right down," she added, risking a glance at her best mate.

"Right, well, I haven't seen Zonko's yet," he said lamely. "I'll see you later." He headed toward the joke shop, cursing himself for his weakness. He'd very nearly given in and told her everything. He'd have to be more careful in the future.

When the door closed behind him, the dog ran off down an alley, and Muriel followed. When she rounded the edge of the building strong arms caught her around the waist and swung her around.

"You mean it?" Sirius asked quietly, setting her feet back on the ground. She nodded at him solemnly. His eyes shone in the darkness, and she was almost sad when he closed them as he lowered his lips to hers.

"Didn't you buy anything at Zonko's?" she asked, when he finally pulled away. "The way you've been going, I don't imagine you have much left of your Christmas present." He laughed quietly and pushed her hair away from her eyes.

"I left my bag in Zonko's with James," he said.

Muriel stiffened. "Potter's still in Zonko's?"

"Yeah, but I told him to go ahead back without me if I wasn't back soon."

"Black, Sev just went into Zonko's. We'd better get over there." Sirius frowned. He wasn't about to interfere with his best mate's second favorite sport. It was enough that he'd given up hexing Snape himself, wasn't it?

"Fine. You wait here." Muriel pushed him away and ran toward the joke shop, angry about what she'd just heard him thinking. Sirius swore loudly and followed. It just figured that the day she said she loved him he'd do something to upset her. Muriel pushed the door open hard, and entered in time to see James raising his wand.

"James, stop!" He turned slowly toward her and lowered his wand slightly. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Severus move. She quickly placed a shield between them, and Severus' hex flew harmlessly toward the ceiling. "Honestly, the two of you!" she stormed. "Haven't you outgrown this by now?" She pushed roughly passed James, who turned his back to her as she dragged Severus out of the store. Sirius came in as they reached the door, but she ignored him and led Severus outside. He pulled loose of her grip as soon as they were out of the store and disapparated without a word.

Muriel looked sullenly around before starting the trip back to the castle. She was annoyed with Severus AND Sirius right now, not to mention James, who, in her opinion, deserved the bat bogey hex that she'd saved him from. On the other hand, she had to admit that Severus had chosen something relatively harmless for once. By the time she got back to the castle, she'd decided that they were all calming down a little. After all, James had been keeping his curses polite this year too, and Sirius could hardly be expected to stand up to James for Severus' sake. That was her job.

She threw herself hard onto her bed. It was only just starting to get dark, and none of her roommates were back from Hogsmeade yet. She started a letter to her father, who had told her that owl post would be safe now that he was alone in the house again. She hadn't asked who had been there with him. She was pretty sure she didn't want to know.

Before she was finished, however, there was a tapping outside her window. "Gypsy?" she asked aloud as she went to the window. She looked out and couldn't see anything, so she opened the window to stick her head out. She had to nearly dive out of the way as Sirius shot through the window on his broomstick, turning abruptly in what looked like a skid to hover in front of her. She quickly closed the window.

"What are you doing?" she hissed with a worried glance toward the door. He dismounted and came toward her. She was amazed at the intensity in his gaze. His brow was furrowed and his eyes looked unusually moist.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, embracing her quickly, as though he was afraid she wouldn't let him. She put her arms around him. She had never heard of Sirius Black apologizing to anyone, and she certainly hadn't expected him to tonight. It struck her again how different he was from the person he'd been only a year before. He hugged her hard, then let go. "See you after dinner?" She nodded, still feeling rather shocked, as he mounted his broomstick. She opened the window, shivering. In a moment he was gone again, and she closed the window just as the door burst open and the girls she roomed with came clambering in, giggling.

"It's freezing in here, Mur, what've you been doing?"

"Thought I heard my owl," she replied softly, still looking out the window. She bit her lip as the other girls fell silent. They started giggling again almost immediately.

"Mur's had a BOY in here!" Marisa squealed. They asked questions and poked fun at her all the way down to dinner. Muriel led them right passed Sirius, knowing that he'd enjoy hearing their taunts. James glared at her as she passed, but she didn't look at any of them. She was enjoying the gentle teasing of her girlfriends, but she knew that if she spared so much as a glance at the marauders her friends would be sure to figure out who had been in their room. "It must have been Severus," Marisa was saying.

"Don't be ridiculous," Muriel snapped, a little more loudly than she'd intended. But the other girls only continued to giggle. Sirius shot a glance at the Slytherin table in time to see Severus make a hurried exit, looking at the ground.

Muriel looked up from Aunt Rosa's letter to see Severus coming across the lawn. The warm spring air was blowing her hair sideways. She smiled at him, glad that he'd finally started talking to her again, and put the letter into her bag.

Mur had approached Macnair at dinner two months ago and told him in no uncertain terms that she would be spending the entire summer outside Severus' bedroom door if he didn't meet her at the greenhouses in twenty minutes. Macnair relayed the message, and Severus rolled his eyes and stalked out of the dungeons and across the grounds. Considering who all was scheduled to make appearances at his house this summer, he couldn't risk her making good on that threat.

A set of rules had come into existence that day. Muriel no longer pestered him about going home for breaks, and Severus no longer asked her whom she was seeing. They talked about classes, and resumed doing homework together in the library. As a result, her time with Sirius lessened considerably, but he hadn't complained, at least, not to Muriel.

"How'd you do?" she asked as he plopped down beside her.

Severus smiled stiffly. They were 2 of only 15 students in the Defense Against The Dark Arts N.E.W.T. program, and he'd just completed his exam. "Professor Tantry said I could've passed the N.E.W.T. this year."

"How generous of him," Muriel said sarcastically. "You could've passed the Dark Arts N.E.W.T. third year, if he'd let you try. So what are you up to now?"

"We've still got Potions on Monday, I should get started on that." Severus looked sideways at her, and caught her rolling her eyes.

"Sev, the last thing you need is to spend more quality time with your cauldron. How about a nice, friendly duel?" She was grinning at him now.

"Alright. Rules?"

"No pain, and nothing that lasts more than a day."

"Done."

They walked together toward the lake, leaving their bags behind. It wasn't long before they had a huge audience of 5th year students, who'd finished their O.W.L.s the previous week, as well as other 6th years who were finishing their end-of-year tests. They started small: blocking things and sending them back to one another to dodge. Soon they were casting the funniest and most harmless hexes they knew and ricocheting them into the crowd on purpose. Muriel paused after each curse to undo it, still managing to block what Severus cast. Then they switched, and he performed the counter curses. The people around them were laughing hysterically by the time they called it quits and went to grab their bags. Severus was wearing the first real smile Muriel had seen on him in months. "Hey, the last Hogsmeade trip of the year is tomorrow," he said suddenly. "Do you want to go with me?"

"Of course, I always go with you," she said, tossing her bag over her shoulder. This dampened his mood slightly. He'd been hoping she'd see it as something different than what she always did with her best mate. He followed her silently back into the castle, reminding himself again that he was supposed to be keeping his distance.

"Let me know if you need any help with Potions," he said in spite of himself as she headed up the stairs toward the Ravenclaw common room.

"You've helped me so much in the last few weeks that I don't think I can stand to look at my cauldron again until the exam," she said laughingly, and ran up the last few steps, disappearing down the corridor.

"Doesn't that bother you, Sirius?" Peter asked as they watched Muriel and Snape walking toward the castle.

"Nah, why would I worry about a slimeball like that?" Sirius replied easily. Remus shot him a look, but didn't say anything.

James scowled. "Just wait until this weekend. I'm going to get them both back for what happened last time." Sirius smiled indulgently. Lily had been in Zonko's when Muriel had broken up that fight and no one had seen James and Lily together since. He could see why his mate was upset. They made their way up towards the castle with the other students. It was almost time for dinner.

"Doesn't THAT bother you, Padfoot?" Remus asked quietly as they entered the Great Hall.

"Mur can take care of herself, Moony," he answered. "I should think that she and Snivellous together are more than enough to keep James in check." Remus gave him another reproachful look.

"I'll warn her." Sirius whispered in response.

Severus went to find Muriel at the Ravenclaw table after breakfast the next morning. "Ready?" The entire table burst out in giggles as Muriel got up. "What was that all about?" he asked as they walked out of the hall.

"The girls in my dorm are convinced that it's you I'm dating." Severus looked back into the hall as she spoke. Every girl at the Ravenclaw table was watching them. He felt himself turning red.

"So, this guy you're dating: he doesn't care if you go to Hogsmeade with me instead?" He kept his voice light.

"We talked about it once or twice and I think he understands now. You and I have been through a lot together. It's important to me that we can still spend time together." She was silent for the rest of the walk. It wasn't until they were standing outside the Three Broomsticks that she spoke again suddenly. "I missed you, those months when you didn't want to talk to me."

"I'm sorry about that," he said immediately, looking uncomfortable. "I just wasn't ready to talk about it all." She nodded in understanding, and didn't press him. If he still wasn't ready to talk she didn't want him to start avoiding her again.

They went in just about every shop, but Muriel stopped him outside the jewelry store at the very edge of town. She was afraid that the witch who'd sold Sirius her necklace would recognize it. She also resisted his suggestion to stop at Madam Puddifoot's for tea. She knew exactly what people went in there to do, and was surprised that Severus didn't. But then, he'd never been one to pay much attention to such things.

James, Lily, and Sirius were walking back to the Three Broomsticks for one, last butter beer when Muriel and Severus passed them in the street. Severus didn't notice them at first, but turned toward them suddenly when Sirius waved covertly at Muriel. He stopped dead and turned to watch them pass. James watched out of the corner of his eye, and when Severus turned back to Muriel, he aimed his wand carefully and mouthed a jinx.

It was a simple clarity of mind spell, but it did what he'd intended: It helped Severus Snape put together the puzzle he'd been working on all year. Lily and Sirius turned around in alarm at the sound of Severus' voice.

"HIM? That's it, isn't it? All this time you've been dating SIRIUS BLACK?" Severus was shaking, and Muriel suddenly looked a bit green.

"Yes, I've been dating Sirius," she said softly. She didn't take her eyes off Severus. She'd seen him angry before and knew he was as likely to pull out his wand and turn her into a porcupine as he was to stomp off in a huff. Her wand was already in her hand.

"HOW COULD YOU POSSIBLY WANT TO GO OUT WITH THAT CONCEITED PRAT?" he screamed, too distracted to even reach for his own wand. Students were sticking their heads out of shop doors now, and Muriel was a little annoyed that he was making such a scene.

"Well, Sev, it turns out he's not such a prat after all, and I can tell, since HE doesn't try to hide who he really is." She kept her voice level, but only barely. She wiped an angry tear away with her shoulder.

"I learned Occlumency to protect you from the things my father was telling me about the Dark Lord," he whispered furiously.

'At least he has the presence of mind not to shout that his father's a Death Eater to all of Hogsmeade,' Muriel thought to herself, but this didn't soften her reply. "Maybe I didn't want your PROTECTION, Severus. Maybe all I needed was your trust. But you chose to close me out, and -"

"And you chose to look elsewhere for friends," he finished for her. She was crying openly now. "I can't be friends with a marauder, Deesia," he said coldly, his face suddenly expressionless. He turned on his heel to leave.

"So be it," she whispered. He almost stopped and went back, then. He could hear the pain in her voice. He remembered the rules of their last duel. 'No pain and nothing that lasts more than a day.' He'd broken both of them now, he knew. Muriel ran blindly in the other direction, and it was all Sirius could do to catch her.