When the Dursleys are away...

"Here you go, Hedwig," Harry sighed as he opened her cage, letting her soar out the window and into the evening sky.

He walked over to his bed and lay face down on it. How could life be so unbelievably dull? He'd been home from school about two weeks now, and he was already bored out of his mind. Maybe he'd write another letter to Ron or Hermione, tell them to send over Zonko's products, and even better, some stuff from Weasley's Wizard Wheezes. He was stirred out of his thoughts by a loud voice coming from downstairs.

"Boy, where are you?" growled Uncle Vernon's voice.

"In my room," Harry replied, taking his head out of his pillow.

Vernon opened Harry's bedroom door and strolled in, wearing a smug expression on his face.

"I'm up for a promotion at work," he gloated. "You Aunt, Dudley, and I will be having dinner at my superior's house. We're leaving in a matter of minutes, and I want you to know what if anything is out of place by the time we get back, you won't get breakfast tomorrow morning. Don't touch anything."

"Alright," Harry said, turning away from him.

Vernon narrowed his eyes and walked out of the room, slamming the door behind him. Harry stayed still until he heard the front door downstairs close, and he bounded out of bed and over to the window in time to see the car pulling out of the driveway. He headed out into the hallway and down the stairs, figuring he'd get about an hour of watching television uninterrupted.

After about 15 minutes of channel surfing, all Harry could find was boring news channels. He sighed, trying to come up with something he could do. An idea struck Harry's mind, and he headed upstairs towards Dudley's bedroom.

Harry took the chair and sat down in front of the computer. He pressed the Power button, waiting patiently while the programs loaded.

He highlighted "Internet Explorer" and double clicked it. After playing a few online games, Harry started searching things on a search engine. Out of curiosity, he typed his name in web search and was confused when someone named J.K.Rowling came back as a result. He clicked "images" and nearly fell off his chair at what he saw. Pages upon pages, hundreds probably, were filled with pictures of him and every other person he knew from Hogwarts. Speechless, Harry looked through the first few, wondering how the bloody hell this had happened.

Fingers trembling, he typed in the names of two people who were currently on his mind. Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger.

"OH MY GOD!"

Harry's eyes nearly popped out at the first picture he'd seen. Ron and Hermione, having - well, what kind of position was that? How's that possible? After he'd calmed down, he typed in "James Potter". Just what he'd expected. There were no real pictures, just artwork. Here and there Harry saw Lily with him, looking happy.

Typing in "Harry Potter" again and going right to page 10, Harry's breath started going in and out rather quickly as he stared at one particular picture. It was him and Malfoy, of all people, in what looked like a broom closet. From the way the picture was drawn, Harry could see his own head brought back in ecstasy as he pushed a naked Draco against the wall. His legs were wrapped around Harry's waist, and he had his hand on himself.

How the hell did someone draw that? Harry just looked at the picture, not blinking, for a few more minutes. He moved the cursor to the address bar and typed in www.eBay.com. Once that page loaded, he typed in "Harry Potter". There was a list going down several inches on the monitor, all selling things supposedly associated with Harry. There was Harry's Gryffindor scarf, quidditch robes, and a lock of his hair. What the - ? How the BLOODY HELL did someone get a lock of his hair? Harry closed his eyes and shook his head for a moment, sure he was hallucinating. When he opened his eyes, it was still there.

Now curious beyond measure, Harry clicked on a link labeled "H/D fanlisting" and from there, not seeing any pictures of himself, clicked "fanfiction". His eyes grew wider and wider as he read one particularly lusty story. Harry moaned and tangled his fingers in Draco's hair. "Draco," he moaned, as Draco took him in his mouth. He ran his hand up and down over and over again, following his mouth.

That paragraph alone made Harry read on, very, very pleased with the way it was going. When he finished reading, a soft "Wow" escaped his mouth. So there were people out there, millions of millions, he guessed, writing this stuff? He was perplexed, but wasn't worried. Dumbledore surely knows about this, Harry thought. And if he doesn't mind, then neither do I.

He spent the next hour searching for more stories. Harry found that nearly everybody had been paired with everybody. Hermione with Snape, Lupin, even Pansy, while Harry himself was often found with Draco, Snape, Sirius, Ron, and Ginny. What, am I some sort of whore? Harry thought indignantly. But as he read on, he really didn't want that question to be answered.

Harry soon found out he had a fetish for bondage. He discovered that he mostly preferred, er - himself, with Draco, but after reading a few stories with Sirius and Remus paired together, he established that that pairing was just as hot.

He was just about to start on another story when he heard the front door open.

"Shit," Harry breathed, exiting the Internet browser, turning off the computer, and bolting from the room.

"Boy, get down here!"

Harry cautiously walked down to Uncle Vernon, who growled, "What have you been doing?" after noticing that Harry's cheeks were slightly pink.

"Nothing, I was in my room," Harry replied nervously. Vernon eyed him with suspicion before saying, "My boss wants me to have a game of golf with him tomorrow evening. Your Aunt and cousin will be accompanying me."

"Alright," Harry said nonchalantly, turning to go back upstairs.

"Excellent," Harry said under his breath as he opened his bedroom door. He was looking forward to reading more of what he'd discovered today.

He walked to the chart marking down the days until he'd return to Hogwarts and crossed off one more day. He was looking forward to September 1^st for a completely different reason now.

He couldn't wait to get inside Draco Malfoy's pants.