That Is the Question

That Is the Question

Hogwarts Great Hall

Breakfast on four house tables

Enter students, Harry and Draco

Draco:

Reader, season your worship of me

With an attent ear, til I may deliver

Upon the witness of Hogwarts,

Harry and mine relationship to you.

Why, 'tis a cold and ordinary breakfast,

Be as ourself in the Great Hall. Reader, observe.

That brave and good-natured Harry of Gryffindor

Sits talking to Weasley; in denial whereof

That my mind troubles on him today.

I see fire in our relationship,

And if it be now, 'tis not to come.

If it be not to come, it will be now.

If it be not now, yet it will come.

The readiness is all.

Therefore, to shag or not to shag-

That is the question.

Whether 'tis nobler in my mind to suffer chastity,

But be consoled through my outrageous fortune

Or consent and be enveloped in a sea of passion,

And by agreeing to shag, continue to do so.

Thus, to shag, to sleep-

And no more.

And by a sleep to say I rest

The thousand natural passions

That flesh is heir to after we shag.

'Tis a consummation devoutly to be wished.

To shag, and then to sleep,

To sleep- perchance then to shag again.

Ay, there's the rub. For after that shag

Who knows what morning consequences may arise?

Th' oppressor's wrong, the proud man's contumely,

The pangs of despised love, the owl's delay,

The insolence of office, and spurns that merit

Of our relationship, if I be but too eager for us to shag?

But,

Soft my soliloquy now,

The Gryffindor Harry approaches-

Determined to speak to me.

Be all my thoughts remembered.

Harry:

Morning Draco,

How does your honour for this many a day?

Draco:

I charmingly thank you, well, well, well.

Harry:

Did I just call you honour?

And more so, why I did I speak in

Shakespeare, and you reply?

Enter jealous student walking towards Slytherin table.

Jealous student:

Malfoy's love?

Harry, Malfoy's affections do not that way tend.

Nor what he spake, though it lacked form a little,

Was not like madness. There's something in his soul

O'er which his melancholy sits on brood,

And I do not doubt he was planning evil,

As he looked at you with hungry eyes.

Exit jealous student.

Harry:

Can this be true, Draco?

Draco:

O, 'tis untrue Harry.

(Aside)

Damn jealous student.

How smart a lash

That speech doth give my conscience.

Harry:

Are you sure Draco?

I thought I saw you hesitate.

Draco:

Did I, my Harry? Assure you, my good Gryffindor,

I hold my honesty as I hold my name,

Both with dignity and charm.

And I do not think- or else this brain of mine

Hunts not the trail of nobility so sure

As it hath used to do- that I had hesitated

Whilst speaking to you.

Harry:

(Aside)

He lies.

Draco:

Good Harry, I hath much talked to you,

Sure I am two men there is not living,

That I love more than you and myself.

Thus, if it will please you,

To find the reason of my contemplations,

Come to the Slytherin dormitory tonight,

As to expend your time with me awhile,

For the supply and profit of our hope,

Your visitation shall receive such thanks,

As fits a Malfoy's remembrance.

Exeunt Harry, Draco and students