- Rating:
- R
- House:
- Riddikulus
- Characters:
- Harry Potter Remus Lupin Sirius Black
- Genres:
- Humor
- Era:
- Multiple Eras
- Spoilers:
- Philosopher's Stone Chamber of Secrets Prizoner of Azkaban Goblet of Fire
- Stats:
-
Published: 09/20/2002Updated: 01/15/2003Words: 3,509Chapters: 5Hits: 2,434
And Everything In Between
Crying Raven
- Story Summary:
- We offer Virgin!Sirius, Homophobic!Draco, Married!Snape, Straight!Remus, Sockporn!Dumbledore, Non-sexless!Blaise, Traumatized!Poppy, and other rare things.````Part 1: We meet Sirius, a relative, a certain hippogriff and eh... what? A Hogwarts that isn't over-run by gay students?
Chapter 04
- Chapter Summary:
- Draco doesn't like the thought of Blaise Zabini being a lesbian and feels that it's his duty to do something about it. Snape/Trelawney, because they are just made to be.
- Posted:
- 11/29/2002
- Hits:
- 269
Part 4 Charming
Draco glared at Blaise Zabini. He had a persistent feeling that Blaise was a lesbian. Even if the thought of two girls together might tickle his imagination, it was wrong. It was disgusting. Even if it was a fellow Slytherin it could not be accepted. Zabini seemed oblivious to this. Then a thought crept up into Draco's mind. Maybe you didn't have to treat Zabini like the dirt she obviously was; maybe all she needed to learn was that guys were right for her too. Of course he liked Pansy, but it was more platonic than it should be. She was a pureblood, and the Parkinsons were good friends with his father, and it was a seemingly obvious marriage.
Draco didn't like the thought of having no choice when it came to marriage. Millicent Bulstrode wasn't an alternative, of course, she wasn't completely pureblood (her grandmother's father had been a mudblood) and she was as attractive as Goyle in a bra but Zabini was good looking, even if she didn't have any boobs, and was pureblood. Father wouldn't be too upset if he chose another pureblood girl anyway, as long as it was a Slytherin. Besides, it was for a good cause. Draco turned on the charms.
"Zabini?"
"Yes?" Blaise looked up, a tad surprised that Malfoy was talking to her. He had been acting rather hostile towards her the past two years. She suspected this behaviour had something to do with her date at the Yule Ball. She was absolutely right.
Up in the high tower in a room below the divination classroom Professors Severus Snape and Sybil Trelawney sat and had just finished tea. Snape hated this part of it.
"Severus?" Trelawney said, still looking into his teacup.
"Sybil," he said irritably, damp hair slowly going back to its natural greasy state. He had washed it just an hour ago, but that didn't matter at all. His hair had a mind of its own.
"The inner eye tells me..."
Snape did his best to ignore her. He hated it when she kept telling him that he'd enjoy a happy marriage for a long time, or when they've just had a fight that he'd die a slow and painful death at the hands of either the dark forces or some monster.
"... there will be some disturbance..."
'Of course,' he thought. 'The students are back, what else is new?'
"... nothing you can't handle of course..."
'Naturally.'
"Hmm..." There was a pause.
Snape remained silent.
"Hmm."
He still didn't reply.
"Hmm." Trelawney sounded irritated.
"Yes?"
"There will be some," she made a dramatic pause that, in Snape's opinion, took more time than necessary. "... issues." She looked up from the cup and through her thick glasses that increased her eye's size three times, at the very least, at him.
"Like what?" he said, stingily. He had had enough of this nonsense.
"I sense that the sexual energy in this castle is getting very high..."
"Must be the older students," he muttered.
Trelawney looked offended. Snape pretended not to notice.
"They arrive today, as you hopefully remember," he continued. 'God knows what you are taking...'
"I..." she started.
"And I'd best be going down to the main hall to... greet them," Snape got up. "It was lovely Sybil. You should join us downstairs sometime." 'Or stay here to rot away, that would be even better.'
"No, thank you," she sniffed irritably and got up too. "You don't take my predictions seriously, do you Severus?"
"No," he said and opened the door. "I believe now, did before and will continue to do so, that they are bogus. Not even Albus can convince me otherwise."
"Get out!"
He closed the door behind him. "Stupid cow... I wish she'd predict a divorce sometime," he muttered and started walking down the stairs. He even despised her as much as he had despised the Potters.
"Jerk," Trelawney muttered. At times like this she wished she'd predict a divorce, but she couldn't just will it forward so it was no use in trying anyway. Yet she just knew that Potter would be informed about his coming death a lot this year too, the boy was a walking hazard.