Rating:
PG-13
House:
Schnoogle
Characters:
Harry Potter Hermione Granger Ron Weasley Sirius Black
Genres:
Humor Romance
Era:
Multiple Eras
Spoilers:
Philosopher's Stone Chamber of Secrets Prizoner of Azkaban Goblet of Fire
Stats:
Published: 10/24/2002
Updated: 10/24/2002
Words: 2,840
Chapters: 1
Hits: 1,138

Harry Does Hawaii

CousinYogurt99

Story Summary:
Harry and the gang head to Hawaii for a school trip. Sirius and Remus make an appearance, along with some new characters and oodles of fun.

Harry Does Hawaii 00-02

Chapter Summary:
Hey guys! This is a story about how Harry and the gang head to Hawaii for a school trip. Sirius and Remus make an appearance, along with some new characters and oodles of fun. This summary sorta sucks, so just read the story already!
Posted:
10/24/2002
Hits:
1,138
Author's Note:
Hey! We're baaaaack! I already sent this in once and it was too short. Cheese and crackers. So, for the romance...that'll be coming up soon. These first two chapters are sorta slow, but don't worry, they will become highly amusing...muahahaha. Read and review!


Prologue

Bulletin To: All Professors

Re: Student Trip

As you all know, I have proposed sending the eighteen most talented minds from this school to Hawaii, U. S. A. Finally, the Ministry of Magic has approved it. The students' job is to study Muggle American life and to report on the growing Death Eater movement in the United States. The students with live in a fully furnished Muggle house and will pretend to be ordinary Muggles, but may use their magic if granted special permission. The students will continue with some practical classes and will live in the house from Jan 1st to Dec 31st. They will be supervised by two trustworthy Hawaiian witches named Rachael Mai and Bailee Kalukahana. Sirius Black and Remus Lupin will also be popping in from time to time. I must ask you to set aside your personal prejudices when it comes to Sirius Black. As you know, this past summer, he was pardoned for the heinous crime he was accused of, but did not commit. He is devoted to his godson Harry as well as all the other Hogwarts students.

A special note to all heads of houses: please speak to the students from your house who were chosen for this great honor, which include two Slytherins, one Ravenclaw, and fifteen Gryffindors. A list of the students is attached to this memo. Heads, please talk with your students about proper conduct. Also, make sure they are all in the Great Hall promptly at 4:30 am, December 31st.

Cheers!

Albus Dumbledore

And so began the journey of a lifetime.

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Chapter One

"Gerrof me!" snarled Ron Weasley as someone tore the sheets off his bed and pushed him onto the floor.

"Mr. Weasley!" came the voice of someone who---oh, shit---wasn't one of his fifth-year Gryffindor roommates, Harry Potter, Dean Thomas, Neville Longbottom, and Seamus Finnigan. IT wasn't even a guy. It was a tall, severe-looking woman wearing green robes and a rather large scowl. It had to be McGonagall.

"Thank you for your kind greeting, Mr. Weasley. Now would you please get up and make yourself decent? All the other Gryffindors are almost dressed. I can see you are anything but."

Ron looked at his bare chest and neon orange Chudley Cannons boxers and felt his face burn the famous Weasley crimson. Bloody hell. Now McGonagall's seen me in my underwear. Could this day get any worse?

At that exact moment, an annoyingly jovial Parvati Patil stuck her head in the dormitory and asked brightly, "Is Ron up?" Then she caught sight of a scarlet Ron next to a frowning McGonagall, and giggled way too cheerfully for four o'clock AM. "Oh, I see he is!"

Yup. It's possible. This day could definitely get worse.

"Get out of here, Parvati!" Ron interjected furiously, crossing his arms over his unclothed chest. Is it possible for your entire body to blush? "I'm trying to get dressed!"

"Oh, I don't mind," simpered Parvati. This was probably true. Ron wouldn't exactly call himself handsome, but over the summer before his fifth year he had grown to nearly six feet and gained a fair amount of muscles. Parvati had a thing for muscles, according to her best friend. Lavender Brown. Ron reminded himself never to listen in on a conversation between the two girls again.

"Miss Patil, we must leave Mr. Weasley to get dressed. Weasley, be down in no more than five minutes or I will not be responsible for Professor Snape's actions." McGonagall swept from the room, dragging Parvati behind her.

Bugger. Something shifted in Ron's mind. I have to dress Muggle! After pulling on some jeans and a sweater of Harry's, he rushed down to the Great Hall, glad his bags had been magicked down the night before. He surveyed the Hall, eager to see whom the three other students on the trip were. The Gryffindors, unable to keep the secret, had blabbed to each other, so Ron knew fourteen of his fellow travelers were from his house. The list included his best friends Harry Potter and Hermione Granger, his siblings Ginny and the twins, Fred and George, Lee Jordan, Katie Bell, Angelina Johnson, Alicia Spinnet, Dean Thomas, Neville Longbottom, Seamus Finnigan, Parvati Patil, and Lavender Brown.

Now he picked out the other students. Damnit! Parvati was chattering away with her twin Padma in one corner. Ron hadn't forgotten how he'd abandoned her at the Yule Ball in their fourth year, and he seriously doubted she had either. Double damnit! The other two students were Slytherins, and not just any Slytherins: Ron's arch-nemesis Ferret Boy Draco Malfoy, and Hogwarts slut, Blaise Zabini. Blaise was outfitted in---what the hell---feathers, sequins, and silver tights.

Ron vaguely remembered his Muggle Studies professor mentioning something called Las Vegas. Blaise was a walking, talking Las Vegas---whatever that was. It just fit Blaise, with her obscenely short glittery skirt and matching top.

Before Ron could join Harry and Hermione, who were standing by the luggage pile with Seamus and Katie, McGonagall, Snape, and Dumbledore entered the Hall. Dumbledore was smiling broadly. Snape sported his usual sneer. McGonagall looked as though she seriously doubted the students would all return in one piece. Ron smiled slightly, remembering the day two weeks ago when she had gathered the fifteen Gryffindors in the deserted Common Room to lecture them.

"You will all behave yourselves on this trip," McGonagall had declared. Fred raised a hand. "No, Mr. Weasley, this is not up for discussion. I want NO pranks, NO use of magic without permission, and absolutely NO-" Here McGonagall blushed a bit. "-Sexual activities. Just because you're on a trip doesn't mean you can do anything against the rules. I remind you that I'll be in contact with Professors Mai and Kalukahana. They will report anything and everything back to me. Also, our ex-professor Remus Lupin and his colleague, Sirius Black, will be in Hawaii. They'll be on official Ministry business, but will have bedrooms at the house and will check in, so I advise you all to behave. Even if the Muggles don't realize it, you're representing Hogwarts to them. But they are not to know of anything magical."

"Hello, selected students," Dumbledore greeted them brightly, startling Ron. "Please gather round, I wish to say a few words."

The students closed in around Dumbledore. Ron noticed Malfoy the Death-Eating git stood a bit back, next to a sparkly Blaise. Just as well they don't get too close.

Dumbledore began to run over everything they'd learned in their special Muggle Studies classes over the past four months. Ron tuned him out. He didn't need review.

Over the summer, the Weasley house had been oddly...boring. His father had been insanely busy with work; Charlie was back in Romania, Bill in Egypt. Fred and George had got to stay with Lee Jordan's family while Ginny had left to stay with her friend McKinzy Shepard. Percy came home only to eat and sleep. Harry wasn't allowed to come to stay until two weeks before school started. Hermione had been visiting her Vicky in Bulgaria, right up until the end of August. Ron had been so bored he'd begun to accompany Arthur Weasley to work.

Over the summer, Ron had learned practically all there was to learn about Muggles and their culture. When, in September, the trip had been announced, Ron hadn't been daunted by the requirement of the extra classes and signed up with dozens of other fourth years and above. He'd enjoyed shooting up his hand in class and startling Hermione.

Airplanes, cars, electricity, Muggle Housing, blah blah blah. Ron was glad when Dumbledore ended his mini-lesson with, "Congratulations and good luck to all of you. This is a great honor and I know you'll all do wonderfully. Now Professors Snape and McGonagall will help you portkey to a site near the airport. Professors Mai and Kalukahana, along with Misters Lupin and Black, will meet you there." Dumbledore wiped his eyes with a rather ugly plaid handkerchief and bade them goodbye before walking from the Hall.

"Right, then," Snape began in his oily voice, pulling a large cardboard box top from his robes. McGonagall followed suit. "These are your portkeys. Grab your luggage, then get at least a finger on one portkey, and we'll go---or rather, you will."

Ron caught up with Harry and Hermione as they were sorting through the luggage.

"Hey, mates," he greeted them.

"Ron, we were worried you wouldn't' make it!' Hermione pushed back a wayward brown curl. Over the summer, her hair had become a lot less---bushy. It now hung down her back in sleek, sun-streaked curls.

"McGonagall chewed me out and saw me in my boxers," Ron grimaced as Hermione giggled and Harry looked disgusted. "But I'm here."

"Hurry up!" snapped Snape.

"No Snape for a whole bloody year. That's something to look forward to," Harry commented, as they gathered at one of the portkeys.

Bring it, Ron thought confidently as the world spun black. Bring it on.

Chapter Two

They spun-and-spun-and-BAM!

Harry looked nervously around. The eighteen of them were standing in a secluded parking lot. No one was around but---aha! Two people were hurrying towards them. Wait---these couldn't be the PROFESSORS...could they?

"Hello!" one of the women called as the pair stopped in front of the students. "Hogwarts group, I presume. I'm Bailee Kalukahana, and this is Rachael Mai."

These are the professors, Harry realized dimly. But---they were---

"Bloody gorgeous," Dean mumbled to Harry and Ron. "They don't look a day over twenty-two."

Rachael Mai was petite and slender. She had very tan skin and straight, shoulder length hair, which was a buttered almond shade with blonde and auburn natural looking highlights. She wore clothes that looked hideously out of place in the drab landscape---jean Capris, navy blue flip-flops with textured red soles, and a navy blue tank top that left several inches of her bare stomach---with a PIERCED NAVEL---showing.

Bailee Kalukahana, the witch who'd spoken, was slightly taller. She was just as tan, with light blonde curls pulled into a high, tight ponytail. She too was dressed strangely---a knee-length, slitted blue cord skirt, an indigo ¾ length shirt with a sweetheart neckline and navy platform loafers.

"Bet they look killer in bikinis," added Fred.

Looking around, Harry saw every guy drooling and every girl staring. The women seemed oblivious.

"You can call us Rachael and Bailee," Rachael Mai continued, in an American accent much like Bailee's. She shivered slightly and smiled at their confused expressions. "When we get to Maui, you'll be sweltering."

"If you'll follow us, we'll take you to the terminal," finished Bailee, shouldering her rainbow-striped handbag. If he squinted, Harry could see a designer logo. Kate somebody.

The students hoisted their luggage and followed Bailee. Harry hung back to walk with Rachael.

"I'm Harry Potter," he introduced himself. "Um, Sirius and Remus were-"

"They're meeting us on the plane," Rachael cut in with a perfect pearly smile. "Nice to meet you, Harry, Mr. Godson-of-an-Ex-Felon."

"You know Sirius?'

"We met earlier this year." Harry saw a flash of something unreadable in Rachael's eyes, which up close were amazing---light, icy green eyes that contrasted perfectly with her tan.

"He and Remus had to stop by your Ministry of Magic. They'll be here."

Harry nodded and fell silent. After Sirius had been pardoned, the Ministry had offered him a foreign-relations job. Harry had been shocked that Sirius had actually wanted to work for the ministry, who had ruined his life. But Sirius had gotten the offer right about the same time the participants of the Hogwarts trip had been announced, and Harry realized Sirius had taken the job to be able to watch over him.

As the group made their way to the David Montrone Airport, a small hub that held mostly private jets, Harry's thoughts turned to flying.

He'd never been in a plane before, just seen them in movies. He knew Hermione, Dean, and Seamus had flown before and he recalled that the Patil twins had taken a plane to fly to their summer vacation in Muggle America---somewhere in California.

But if flying was like what he'd seen---cramped and crowded and lasting for ages---the eighteen hour flight would be quite un-enjoyable. He tried hard to keep up with Bailee as she led them around the airport and though a chain-link fence. She flashed a badge at a burly guard and led the students to a small, sleek silver jet.

"Isn't it a bit small?" asked Hermione, who like all of those who had flown before, was clearly wondering why they weren't waiting in a terminal to board a jumbo jet.

"Private plane," Rachael explained demurely, showing the students to a flight of air stairs that led to the inside of the plane. "Please pile all your luggage except your carry-ons' on this cart over here. They'll be loaded as we board."

The students did so and then followed Rachael up the stairs. Harry was last, even after Bailee. He heard exclamations of delight from everyone---well, not Malfoy---as he clutched his somewhat careworn green backpack.

Harry wasn't sure what to pack for a carry-on, so he'd added a little of everything.

The bag held his copy of Quidditch Through the Ages; today's Daily Prophet; the December issue of Which Broomstick; and a few Martin Miggs: The Mad Muggle comics. He'd bought a slab of almond Honeydukes chocolate, a container of Bernie Bott's Every Flavor Beans, a few Sugar Quills, and some Drooble's Best Blowing Gum. Then he'd tossed in a change of socks, his toothbrush, his pillow, and his coin bag. It was now filled with the amount of American dollars and cents Dumbledore had allotted all of them, along with some of his own money exchanged into Muggle money. Finally, he'd tucked in his Invisibility cloak and the Marauder's Map for safekeeping, even though the map would be no use. Harry had been forced to put a bottomless charm on the bag when he tried to cram in his wand and two belated Christmas presents: a book Hermione had recommended for Remus and a dragon-hide cloak for Sirius.

Harry stepped inside the airplane, which was remarkably spacious. The floor had thick, luxurious pearl carpeting and the larger-than-usual windows sported wine-colored curtains. About twenty-five large rose-gray leather chairs were grouped in twos or threes around the cabin. Smoked-glass end tables were bolted near each row. A wide-screen TV was attached to a wall near the front, next to a door that presumably led to the cockpit, and two oak doors in the back appeared to lead to the bathrooms.

Harry, however, ignored the plush interior as soon as he spotted two familiar figures lounging in two spacious seats. He passed Alicia and Parvati and practically hurled himself at Sirius.

"Hey Harry!" Sirius greeted him with a wide grin. He looked healthy and happy. His shoulder-length hair was pulled into a short, clean black ponytail. His dark eyes shown and he looked less emancipated, more muscled. He wore jeans, combat boots, and a charcoal t-shirt that clung to his six pack.

"Sirius!" Harry gave his godfather a hug. Then turned to his comrade. "Remus!"

Remus's hair was still short, light brown, and laced with gray. He was still a bit pale, but his indigo-gray eyes were alert and bright. Harry gave him a hug too.

"How've you been?" asked Remus, who was outfitted in khaki slacks and a navy sweater.

"So-so," Harry answered truthfully. He had returned to Hogwarts incredibly excited at Sirius being pardoned, yet horribly nervous about facing everyone---especially Cho Chang---after Cedric Diggory's death. The rest of the past four months had consisted of highs and lows, ups and downs.

Harry sat in the seat next to Remus and gestured for Hermione and Ron to take the two seats in front of them.

As soon as Ron plopped down, he began to experiment with his seat. Five minutes later, Ron discovered he could spin his chair around to face Harry, Remus, and Sirius. Hermione did likewise.

"This is so awesome!" Ron announced, unzipping his bright orange C.C. backpack. He pulled out a chocolate frog, bit it in half, and stared at the card. "Bugger. Merlin again."

"Ron, it's 4:45 in the morning!" scolded Hermione, pulling a quill and parchment from her leather book bag.

"And I'm bloody starving," he mumbled around a mouthful of chocolate. "Want the card?"

Hermione took it, examined it, smiled, and tucked it into her bag. "Maybe I should start collecting..."

Ron grinned in disbelief.

"Mione, you feeling okay? Collecting cards isn't an educational activity-"

"Bugger off, Ron, and I could ask you the same. You've turned into a bookworm over the summer."

"Me? A bookworm?: Ron sounded outraged. "Yeah, right..."

Harry watched his friends bicker comfortably with a small smile. It was so normal, so familiar, so right, to listen to Ron and Hermione go at it over something as small as a chocolate frog.

Ah, thought Harry. Things are finally going back to normal.


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[A/N: So, Did you guys like it? I sure hope so. That so normal, so right thing was Keelie's idea. Don't you love the mention of Sirius's six pack? I lurve Sirius! Read and Review!]