The Big Match

'You know, I don't trust those two...' Professor Lupin muttered to Professor Flitwick, as the staff Quidditch team made their way across the Hogwarts grounds towards the gate, all clutching brooms.

'They do seem to be getting rather... passionate about it,' agreed Flitwick.

They watched Minerva McGonagall and Rolanda Hooch stride across the grass just ahead of them, gesturing wildly, clearly in animated conversation. Professor Snape and Madam Pince walked behind Lupin and Flitwick, both silent. Professor Sprout ambled along at the rear, stopping occasionally to inspect nettles.

'Come on, come on, or it'll be dark before we get there!' cried Rolanda.

'Where are we actually going?' asked Lupin, catching up to the two women. 'This seems a roundabout route to the Quidditch pitch...'

'The Quidditch pitch?' asked Minerva. 'Are you joking, Remus? The students will be practising there. They'll just put us off. And besides, we don't want them to know our tactics.'

'So where are we going, then?'

'Hogsmeade, of course,' said Rolanda. 'We're going to practise in a nice, empty field where nobody will disturb us.'

* * *

Fred and Harry trudged wearily into the Gryffindor common room and slumped into chairs.

'Good practise?' asked Hermione, who was lying on the floor on her stomach, practising a new bit of transfiguration on her bag.

'Long,' said Harry. 'And that Tilly has some very firm ideas. Very bossy, in fact.'

'Well, are they good ideas?' asked Ron, looking up from doodling in the margins of his Charms book.

'Yeah, not bad actually. She's just so... forceful about it, is all. Bit intimidating.'

There was a creak on the stairs from the boys' dormitories. George came down, and sat in a chair by the fire.

'How's the Quidditch coming, Fred?' he said, casually.

Fred's eyes widened and he turned to look at his twin.

'Oh, not bad, you know, coming along,' he said, with equally studied carelessness. 'Um... what have you been up to?'

'Oh, this and that, not a lot,' said George.

There was a clattering, and Ginny came down from the dormitories, dressed in her outdoor clothes.

'George, are you ready?' she asked.

George jumped up and followed Ginny out of the portrait hole. Neither of them said a word to any of the others.

'Now, what are they up to?' asked Fred.

'Haven't you noticed,' said Hermione, 'that those two have been spending a lot of time together over the last couple of days?'

'No,' said Fred, Harry and Ron together.

'Boys,' sighed Hermione, and turned her attention back to her transfiguration.

'But, Hermione, what are they doing?' asked Fred.

'How should I know?' she asked. 'Ginny isn't telling, anyway.'

* * *

'Irma,' Rolanda explained patiently, for the seventh time that evening, 'there's no point you being up there if you aren't even going to try and catch the quaffle...'

'Well, it's very high up here!' sniffled the usually-dignified librarian, her eyes misty with tears behind her glasses. 'I don't want to let go of the broom in case I fall!'

'You're hovering four feet above the ground!' cried Minerva, doing a couple of loops on her own broom to relieve her frustration. 'You wouldn't be hurt!'

'Whoever heard of a witch who was afraid of heights?' cried Rolanda. 'Filius is getting the hang of it, look!'

And indeed, Professor Flitwick was zipping about the field after the quaffles that Professors Lupin and Snape were throwing for him to catch. Minerva had transfigured a couple of trees into goalposts, and Professor Sprout was flying steadily between them, ready to stop Filius' goals. Rolanda, of course, was having no problem with her flying, and Minerva, although she hadn't flown for years, had taken right to it again and was already doing complicated flips and loops.

In fact, Irma was the only problem. She refused to go higher than five feet or so. She refused to even attempt letting go with one hand to catch the quaffle. She wouldn't move at more than a snail's pace. As now, she overbalanced slightly and tipped upside down. Her glasses fell off and she whimpered.

Rolanda and Minerva exchanged glances as they went to turn her over and put her back safely on the ground.

'This calls for something a little more... unconventional,' suggested Rolanda, as Minerva conjured a chair and settled the shaking librarian into it, making soothing noises.

'I agree,' Minerva said, once Irma had quietened down a little. 'But what?'

* * *

'They're playing McGonagall as Seeker!' Tilly yelled into Harry's ear in the Great Hall the next morning, making him drop his toast in his juice. He fished it out, scowling, before turning to look at the sheet of parchment in Tilly's hand.

'Well, she should be easy enough to beat,' he said, frowning at his sodden breakfast.

'That's where you're wrong, Harry! She played Seeker in the school team for six years, and out of thirty matches, she caught the Snitch twenty-six times. That's an eighty-seven percent success rate, Harry.'

'Yeah, but that must have been, like, fifty or sixty years ago...'

'Flying is like riding a bike,' interjected Fred, sitting down beside Harry and taking the list from him. 'Once you've learned you never forget. McGonagall might be out of practice, but she's probably still not bad. Ooh, Lupin and Snape as Beaters... there's a match made in heaven...'

'Bet they're enjoying working together...' Harry smirked.

* * *

The next evening, the teachers were to be found in a field in Hogsmeade again, training hard for the upcoming match. There were only four of them this evening, though. Rolanda and Minerva had taken Irma somewhere else for intensive training, and without their presence, the practice was suffering...

'I don't see why I should do as you say,' Professor Snape said, hovering several feet above the ground and scowling.

'I wasn't trying to give you an order,' said Remus Lupin calmly. 'It was just a suggestion.'

'Well, it didn't sound like a suggestion. It sounded like you're trying to take over the team.'

'That's ridiculous! Just because I don't want us to use out-of-date, obvious tactics, doesn't mean that I'm trying to take over.'

'The Pavlov Defence is a tried and tested Beater move, and...'

'They'll see it coming a mile off! We have to play it closer to the vest, try and confuse them...'

'Well, I say that...'

'I don't care what you say!'

'You are the most...'

'GENTLEMEN!' hollered Professor Sprout, touching down beside them and glaring from one to the other.

Lupin looked sheepish, but Snape just glowered at her.

'This is silly,' she said. 'And I won't have it. Either you two start working together, or I'll have you both in detention!'

'Pomona, you can't give us detention, we're teachers,' Lupin pointed out.

'I gave you detention twenty years ago, Remus Lupin, and I could still do it today if I so chose! And I'm not sure you aren't still a little bit intimidated by your former Head of House...'

'Don't tell Minerva!' Lupin cried, desperately.

'I'm sure we can manage to resolve our differences without adding to Minerva's workload,' Snape added, a little too quickly.

Sprout looked piercingly at them both, hands on her hips.

'Just be sure that you do,' she said.

Lupin and Snape stared at the floor.

'Yes, Pomona,' they both said.

* * *

Fred and Harry trudged back up to the castle after their practice.

'All those wiggly diagrams of hers make my eyes hurt,' Fred complained.

'Yeah, me too,' said Harry. 'And all those exercises she makes us do... I'm so tired out I've barely managed to do any homework this week.'

'Well, that's nothing new, is it? All you and Ron seem to do is put off your homework. At least this way you're filling the time with something useful.'

'Yeah, I suppose so.'

'I mean, that was a brilliant capture you made earlier! And Adrian scored a great goal, too. We're really starting to pull together...'

'Weird, isn't it?'

'Yeah, really weird...'

They reached the bottom of the steps that led into the Entrance Hall. The doors opened, and George and Ginny exited. They stopped when they saw Fred and Harry.

'Fred, and Harry,' said George stiffly. 'Hello.'

'Alright, George, Ginny,' said Fred.

'Ginny and I are going for a pleasant nature walk,' said George. 'As it is such a lovely evening.'

Ginny rolled her eyes at him. 'Oh, yes, George, that's great. That makes it sound like nothing's up...'

'What is up?' asked Harry.

'That's for us to know and you to find out,' said Ginny, with a grin.

'How was practice?' George asked.

'It was good. We're not half bad as a team. Stop changing the subject - where do you two keep running off too?'

'You'll know soon,' said George. 'Now, off with you. Back to the tower. You both look like you could do with a bath.'

Fred and Harry stared at George and Ginny as they hurried down the steps and out into the grounds.

* * *

The next morning, at breakfast, Professors Snape and Lupin sat as far away from one another as they could possibly manage, and shot glares at one another down the length of the table, until Professor Sprout noticed and gave them both such a disgusted look that they turned their attention to their breakfasts immediately.

Minerva wasn't in a position to berate them for their lack of team spirit - she and Rolanda were sitting side by side, heads together, deep in secretive discussion.

'Do you think it'll work?' Minerva asked, quietly.

'Bound to. It's got to. It worked last night, didn't it?'

'Well, eventually.'

'But it has to work right away on the day or there's no point!'

'Don't panic! It'll be fine. We'll try it a few more times before the day to make sure nothing goes wrong. Irma will fly, and she might even score a goal. It's going to be fine.'

'Well, I hope your right,' Minerva sighed, loading her pancake up with syrup and taking a huge bite.

'Aren't I always?' asked Rolanda, seriously.