Tears of the Ages

The night following Aurelia's recent discovery of the Death Eater Evan Rosier, she had tried long and hard to get that gruesome smile out of her mind.

There was no denying the fact, because that murderous grin could not have been more genuine. And Silvia, despite her ability to see the faults in others, could not bring herself to believe this of her boyfriend. She wasn't acting like herself.

She was not safe with that man, if indeed he could be titled as one. She did not even realize just how much danger she was in. Aurelia needed to separate them by any means. Who knew what kind of a spell he'd cast on her? Perhaps this was the reason for her denial and neglecting suspicions.

By eight o'clock, Portkeys was trickling down to the last workaholics. Lia told everyone to go home a half an hour later. She had been charged with closing shop. On her way out the doors, she was bombarded by a great black owl, pecking mercilessly at her neck. She twirled around and grabbed the bird by the feet. His wings continued to flap violently until he was held far enough away so that his beak could not peck. The letter was from Dumbledore, announcing to Order members that there would be a meeting that night at ten. Because it was already 9:30, she decided to pop into headquarters a bit early and talk with Dumbledore about a solution to the Rosier problem.

She arrived in front of the big rundown mansion within second, but stayed standing outside of it for a few moments longer. She smiled politely as a Muggle couple walked by with a Great Dane on a leash.

I wonder what it'd be like to have a dog instead of dating one, she thought absently.

She entered headquarters when the couple was out of sight, walking through the hall, past the kitchen, through an open door, down another hallway and past the kitchen again.

She was lost.

Going back to the entrance hallway to begin again, she went through the hall, through the kitchen, past the opposite doorway, through the red door and into the meeting room. She wondered briefly how she'd gotten to Dumbledore's office when she hadn't been paying attention.

"They should have street signs or something," she mumbled.

Down the hall to her left, past the practice room and--

"Of course we have to tell her!"

That was Sirius' voice. He was never at a meeting on time, let alone early. Lia was about to step into the covert room when she stopped herself, intrigued about the topic of discussion. She positioned herself next to the door where the conversation was more audible through the wall.

"It's her cousin, you twit!" Sirius said angrily to someone inside. "Not some incidental murderer like Rosier."

"Sirius, perhaps it would be best if we did not shout."

Dumbledore?

"We all want to protect her. She's--well, she's Lia. But I agree with Sirius. She deserves to know the truth."

That was James now.

"She'll be heartbroken!" Apparently all her friends were inside because that voice definitely belonged to Lily. "All those years of hiding their friendship and now they're enemies! I can't put Lia through that, no matter how much I have to lie to keep her happy."

"To say that is both selfish and impractical," said Remus sternly. "Wouldn't you rather see her knowing the truth of Silvia's betrayal and helping her to cope than hiding it so she's ignorant the rest of her life?"

"No! She's gone through enough. How can you justify destroying the little happiness she's got? "

"She deserves to know! Lia would never want us to hide anything from her."

"Try to understand, Lily, that if we keep it from her, she'll find out eventually on her own. Just like she found out about Evan."

"One of these days, we'll be dueling with a couple of Death Eaters and Silvia will be right beside them. You want to wait until that moment to tell Aurelia that her cousin's--"

"One of his?"

Lia's voice sounded scratchy and dry. She had come to stand in front of the door and ten pairs of eyes were staring at her, shocked. Dumbledore's were expectant but full of that ever-present pity she had seen countless times before in them, like when he'd told her that her mother was dead or when she'd come to school with that black eye from her abusive father.

"What?" Aurelia said lightly. "Like I wouldn't have 'found out eventually'? It's all right. I know you're all lying. If I could get my hands on some Veritaserum right now you'd all be spitting out how she's just a normal woman who's dating a Death Eater."

Sirius moved in slowly, but she took a step back and he stopped mid-stride.

"You all knew. Every single one of you knew and you thought I shouldn't know? Who are you to make that choice for me? What gave you the right to hide something like that from me! SILVIA! MY COUSIN!--Don't!" Aurelia backed out of the doorway and shook her head from side to side, eyes closed tight. "You..."

She glanced up but shot them a menacing look before she could see their pitying expressions. Without another word, she turned the corner of the hallway and ran, as she had done seven years ago in the Hogwarts corridors. She ran until she reached fresh air, but this time she kept on running.

- - - - -

Anger has a way of influencing everything that the body does. And Silvia was plenty angry, enough so with her lover that she couldn't bring herself to return to their flat. The fact that everyone now knew Aurelia's affiliation with Dumbledore meant that Silvia's own affiliation would be revealed all the sooner.

Her apparition brought her outside of an old, albeit ordinary-looking, building in Muggle London. It was a red-bricked, obsolete department store. The sign hanging precariously off its doors read "Closed for Refurbishment" and had for several centuries. As that was her destination, she approached the window that held an ugly rendition of a human.

Silvia approached the manikin wearing a green pinafore dress. Leaning close to the glass she watched as her breath fogged up the section of window. "Here to see Ivie Davis," she whispered. As she straightened, the dummy nodded minutely and beckoned with a jointed finger. Taking the cue, she stepped through the glass, vanishing from the street.

The usually crowded reception area was deserted due to the hour of the night. She passed by the Welcome Witch sitting behind her desk. The plump blonde woman looked up and gave a nod in recognition which Silvia returned. She'd been at the hospital enough that the witch knew her on sight and trusted she knew where to go.

A sign hanging on the wall confirmed her destination with the floor plan. She wanted the fourth floor for Spell Damage. She made her way to the stairs and climbed until she reached her intended floor. The same procedure was repeated with the witch sitting at the desk there. Her green robe was discarded so late in the night, taking its emblem of crossed wand and bone with it.

Wandering down the hall, Silvia made her way into one of the isolated rooms. Closing the door behind her, she moved to sit in the chair by the bedside. With a sigh, she let her head rest in her hands.

"I've had a horrible day, Ivie," she stated, massaging her temples in the hopes that it would help. "I got into a little spat with Evan. It's nothing I can't resolve later, except I don't know how long that later is going to be."

Standing up, she met the task of tidying up her friend's room. Sometimes the healers at St. Mungo's only saw the patient and the attention they needed, but in order for them to flourish their rooms needed to look nice as well.

"Saw Bella today, she sends her regards. Even baked you a few Cauldron Cakes."

Her response was silence, but she didn't mind. She simply drew out the cakes she had been sent earlier the previous morning. Carefully she set them on the bedside.

"I was thinking about Hogwarts a bit ago...and I'm sorry. For everything." Her hand moved to clutch that of her old schoolmate. It was limp in her hand, like its owner.

Silvia let it return to the bed before stalking to the other side of the room. Her breathing quickened and she could feel a stinging in the back of her eyes. The anger she'd been feeling previously was funneled into a new emotion: regret.

"Merlin, I'm so sorry, Ivie. I never meant...I never meant for this to happen."

Her back hit the wall and her legs began to feel weak. In an attempt to stay in control her hand grappled for something to anchor her, but all it succeeded in was knocking over a vase of dead flowers. She sunk to the ground and her arms curled around, hugging her knees. Her head hit the wall repeatedly and none too softly.

"This is all my fault. If I hadn't been so stupid...I don't know, but things could have turned out differently. You wouldn't hurt a fly, Ivie. You just weren't capable...and now you're here, paying for the sins of your brother. Just 'cause he ran off with some filthy Muggle..." Tears began to fall seamlessly down her face, tracing its contours. "It's all my fault."

She let the tears stream down her face for countless minutes before finally wiping them away with the heels of her hands. She moved over towards the mess she'd made out of the vase, deciding to clean it up the non-magical way, even though the broken glass nicked her several times. She quickly deposited the mess in the waste bin nearby.

A hand went out to stroke Ivie's golden hair which was now matted and straight after lying dormant on a pillow for such an extended period of time.

"I'm sorry that this happened to you. But I promise I'm not going to let this happen to Lia, not like I let it happen to you." She left the room a little neater than when she'd arrived. As she closed the door she whispered, "I'm not losing another friend."

- - - - -

Aurelia sat on the edge of the bench, praying, hoping for some assurance to come that never would. She had been sitting on that bench for over an hour, staring at the ground and at the sky, seeking out an answer in all her pondering that would lead her to believe something different.

Denial had long since abandoned her. It had stayed with her only as a comfort, a cushion to soften the hard fall that came with actualization. She realized this when she thought back on all of Silvia's mysteries she had never asked to uncover. She had been so thick when it came to her cousin. She could not stop the tears from escaping her eyes, but that was all she could do. Allow them to glide off her cheeks in the hope that releasing them would give her some small happiness.

An elderly, destitute man walked past the bench on which she sat, but stopped, unlike the many Muggle passersby in the park.

"Miss?" said his shaky voice.

Lia looked up at him, tears falling lighter now.

"You look a bit peaky. You all right?"

She tried forcibly to smile at him, but she could not find enough strength in her. Instead, she nodded faintly and looked away. Her intention was not to be rude, but there was nothing inside of her that cared anymore.

It was not five minutes later that, after racking through countless memories for which she might criticize her lack of awareness and prudence, she encountered her nightmare. Its careful evaluation caused Aurelia more pain from such insight.

Sirius never intended to kill her, but his betrayal of trust hurt almost as much. Dumbledore's message supplied her with the concealed knowledge that she was alone. Not altogether, but in order to face these obstacles, she could not ask the help of anyone. She had to find her place and defeat the demons dragging her down. If she could not, she would remain a porcelain figurine: dependant, delicate, useless. Aurelia could not stand the thought of such a wasted future.

The upcoming battle had already begun. Silvia was her obstacle and there was only one thing Aurelia could do with an obstacle.

Face it.

- - - - -

The red door burst open at precisely quarter to eleven and Aurelia, without sparing a single glance to anyone in the room, took a seat among a few stunned members. Dumbledore's hesitance could hardly have been mistaken as such, for he continued promptly before anyone else in the room was again settled.

Lia listened to his speech carefully, but did not hear a single word of it. This unnerved and upset her, so much so that she had thought to interrupt numerous times and ask what exactly he had been talking about. She sat quietly, staring at the front of the room, but unable to see anything there.

As the meeting drew to a close, Aurelia stood and walked out the door, passing through this hallway and that until she finally reached a familiar-looking office. The annoyance of finding it quickly seceded from her mind as she sat herself down in the chair opposite Dumbledore's desk. Her fingers tapped rhythmically on the arm, creating the beat to an Irish lullaby to which she began humming softly in her throat. Tears brimmed her eyes, very few passing beyond her lower lashes now. She heard voices outside the door and in various other hallways. They were talking routinely as if a colossal secret had not just been unveiled and the world was not falling to pieces from under them.

They already knew, she thought bitterly.

Feeling his presence before he acknowledged her, Aurelia opened her mouth to produce a statement that had taken her more than thirty minutes to create. She could not come up with one word, but had she been able to, her mouth would not have formed it.

"I do not pretend to understand the struggle you are going through," said Dumbledore gently. He had closed the door so that their conversation would be private. "I would, however, like to offer any help that I can provide."

She hesitated. She had not spoken in over two hours and her throat felt like cement.

"You can help me find Silvia."

Dumbledore sat in the chair behind his desk and sighed, shaking his head sadly. "You are not ready."

"What do you mean, 'not ready'?" Aurelia asked, loudly. "She's my cousin. I can speak with her whenever I please."

"Consider your emotions, Miss Colton. You are the farthest you have ever been from composed in your entire life. You are angry, frightened, hurt and all the while confused. It is understandable...quite expected. No one is rushing you to do the right thing. You are not being forced to choose. Yet."

"The right thing?"

Aurelia asked this in a hallowed voice which concealed all the ranges of emotions he had listed. She felt cold seep into her. What did she plan to do once she found Silvia? She had not thought anything through. The next time she encountered that woman, she did not know what she would do, but she knew it would be reckless. There was the prospect that she would get someone, possibly herself, killed as a result. She did not want to be the cause. With no intention of murder brushing her mind, she wondered just what Dumbledore believed she would do.

"And what, pray tell, is this right thing that I will be doing?"

"Aurelia, to position yourself on the game board without a trustworthy alliance is your admittance to the victory of your opponent."

"We're not playing chess, Dumbledore!" Lia yelled. "If you plan to be cryptic with me..."

"Emotions aren't always immediately subject to reason, but they are always immediately subject to action."

"Dangerous is the man who has rationalized his emotions," Lia countered.

Dumbledore laid his elbows on the desk and formed his hands into the shape of a steeple. "I do not know your plans, but I do know that you cannot isolate yourself from the people you love because you believe you cannot trust them. The only reason we did not enlighten you on the subject before was because we were protecting you."

"From the truth?"

"From what you might have done. I thought it best not to include the information as incentive for you to take up membership. I know I have not yet earned it, but please trust me. You are not ready to confront your cousin."

Aurelia blinked out of her stupor and watched Dumbledore's pleading eyes carefully. No matter how badly she needed to face Silvia, she needed more time. At this point, she was heartrending. Nothing good would come from their encounter.

She stood up and made her way around the chair, opening the door and slipping out quickly. Rushing, she wanted to get out of headquarters as soon as was humanly possible. Of course, she hadn't taken the usual complications into account and before she knew it she was being taunted by a grease-head in black robes.

"What's the matter, Colton?" he sneered spitefully. "You look like you just found out your cousin's a Death Eater."

Aurelia threw back her shoulder in order to strike him bodily but her wand-hand remained low so she could hex when he was unprepared.

The movement happened so fast Lia had no time to counter it. Sirius had grabbed her around the stomach and pulled her back while James had snatched her wand out of her hand. She struggled in her lover's arms for a release and fought his strength. Finally, his muscles relaxed and she broke free of the fleshy cage. Demanding the wand from James, she seized it back and walked past Severus with a baleful glare.

"You don't watch it," Sirius directed at Snape as he watched Aurelia walk down the hallway, "and we won't be here next time to save your worthless skin, toerag."

"I think I'm quite capable of dueling an emotionally disturbed female whose entire spell vocabulary is based on classes at Hogwarts."

"And where's yours based?" James asked with an added glower. "The Dark Lord?"

Snape returned the statement with a scowl and walked past them to get to Dumbledore's office. James and Sirius looked on, but the latter rubbed his arms up and down. His friend glanced at him with curiosity and asked a simple "What?".

"She really hurt me," he said, holding out his arms for James to see. There were several nicks where skin had been ripped which were beginning to bleed and a few red spots suggested the appearance of the bruises to come.

- - - - -

It was peaking into the early hours of the morning when Silvia returned to her flat. She'd walked for what seemed like hours around Muggle London. Throughout that period she'd been trying to come up with a plan for Aurelia, a way to get her out. A way to keep her alive.

She came up blank.

Entering the apartment the Muggle way, with keys, she threw her coat off and onto the closest surface she saw. Her back hit the door and she slid down its length, until she was sitting on the floor, legs crumpled underneath her. Her fingers fisted in the material of her clothes, willing herself not to let another tear touch her face. She'd already shed too many that night.

"We've got a coat rack for a reason you know."

Eyes that had previously been hidden snapped up to look at the flat's other occupant. She'd hoped he would be gone by now. A scathing retort was on her tongue faster than her brain could process, but if she got into another argument with him, her hold on her emotions would break. So she kept silent.

With a flick, her coat hung itself on the rack whilst footsteps drew nearer.

"See that wasn't so hard? You could have done that yourself, Via," Evan stated as he approached.

Noting the fact that she still refused to talk to him, he crouched before her. In response she turned her head away, choosing not to look at him either. His slim fingers latched underneath her chin to make her eyes meet his. She stared at him in steely defiance.

"You know this is childish. Eventually you'll have to talk to me."

Sighing, Evan let go of her chin. He only did this to then grasp her shoulders and haul her upright. She hissed in response and struggled out of his grasp, but he caught her arm and dragged her back towards him before she could leave farther.

"Get your hands off of me," Silvia growled.

"So you can talk? That's nice to know."

His hands went around her waist and bodily lifted her up into a fireman's hold across his shoulder. He started walking away from the door.

"Evan, put me the hell down or I'll hex you into the floor!"

He chuckled, making her shake along with him. "That'd be a lot more threatening, Silvia, if you hadn't just left your wand in your coat."

"Pox and death! I hate you!" Silvia screamed, balling her fists and hitting the muscles on his back. It didn't seem to have any effect. If she'd been allowed the use of her feet, she would have kicked him. Unfortunately, he'd thought of that and trapped them beneath an arm when he'd picked her up.

Suddenly they stopped walking. They were in the bathroom. Evan reached out and opened the door to the shower. He stepped in and deposited Silvia in the middle of the shower and then stepped out. Retrieving his wand from a pocket, he locked the door. Then he turned on the water and set it to cold. She screamed in outrage and banged against the siding of the shower. He simply ignored her as he leaned against a wall.

"You're acting like a child. When your tantrum is done we can talk about this, like reasonable adults."

"Reasonable adults don't lock their girlfriends in the shower with the water running!" she yelled over the thrum of the water. Already she was soaked to the bone, and it was doing nothing to improve her mood. All she'd wanted to do was come back and go to sleep. She didn't want to have to deal with this; she didn't want to deal with any of this.

"I can't hear you over your childlike attitude, Silvia!"

Evan just stood there, watching as she screamed and promised bloody murder when she finally got out. He knew she meant it, but eventually she'd come around and see what a prat she was being.

Silvia crossed her arms and glared at the man outside the shower. "I'm going to kill you when you let me out of here, Rosier," she said, waiting for her barb to hit, but if it did he didn't show any sign.

Several minutes were met by silence between the two of them. The only thing making any noise was the water hitting against her and the siding. Alas, cold water after a certain amount of time elicits a reaction from the body. Silvia began to shiver under the water's stream. She ignored it, hoping that seeing her like this would cause him to rethink his actions.

He didn't, though.

Growling, Silvia turned around to try and change the temperature but found the knob set firmly on freezing. She looked back at her lover until a particularly violent shake ran through her body. It was then that she sank down into the porcelain tub, huddling into herself to conserve some sort of warmth. Her head was bowed and her eyes were closed. Hands found their way into her hair, clutching at it as if it were the source of her troubles.

She didn't even notice when the water changed its temperature. She didn't notice that the hot tears running down her face mingled with warmed water droplets. It reminded her of rain. A remembrance of how the rain had never fallen in her life. She knew it wouldn't now--she didn't deserve it. She didn't think she would ever be able to accept the salvation that came with it, she was in too deep. Maybe it was the fact that the rain would never come that was causing her this deep hurt. Or perhaps it was the fact that sooner or later she'd have to hurt Aurelia.

Silvia was beginning to numb to the pain by now. She felt hollow and her eyes reflected that.

The water stopped and the door opened. Evan came through with a towel, which he wrapped around her before bringing her out of the shower. He lowered them both to the floor, placing her in his lap. She curled unconsciously to his frame. He meanwhile began to dry off portions of her skin with another towel.

"Why does this have to happen?" Her voice was hoarse and small after the screaming. She sounded weak, unlike the confident woman she usually was.

His hand went through her hair. "Because the world isn't fair, pet," he whispered, stroking at the wet locks, trying in vain to comfort her but knowing full and well it wouldn't do any good.

Like a child, she bit her lip and clutched at his shirt. It felt nice to be warm again, to have someone who cared about her. "I don't know if she'll ever forgive me. And, I don't want to lose someone else."

Evan pressed a kiss to her forehead.

"You'll always have me. Always."

They sat on the bathroom floor until Silvia's clothes were long past dried, each knowing that things would inexplicably change in their lives.

- - - - -

"Aurelia?" Remus called into the wood, his forehead pressed up against her apartment door. He knocked several more times. His temples had been throbbing ever since ten. Remus spared a glance to his right wrist and saw it was two o'clock. He suddenly realized how loud he was being, so he lowered his voice. "Aurelia, please!"

Remus picked his head up as he heard a bolt unlock and a door open, but was disappointed when he saw it was 128.

"What in bloody hell do you possibly have to talk to her about this late?"

Lia's neighbor, a portly fellow in a deep blue bathrobe, didn't look too happy with the racket outside his flat.

Thinking quickly, the wizard tried to slap off the apologetic look on his face.

"Her only grandfather just died, so if you don't mind..."

That sobered him up. He gave his condolences and was about to shuffle back into his room when the number plate 127 disappeared from Remus' sight as the door slammed against the adjacent wall inside. Aurelia came into focus in its place, leaning slanted against the frame. She wore trainer shorts and a black, lacy bra, and her hair was tied back into a messy bun.

"My God, Remus, what are you doing out there?" Aurelia asked, her voice somewhat slurred. She held up a beer bottle, nearly knocking Remus upside the head with it. "You'll catch your death...hold on! I'll get you a blanket."

She left Remus standing in the doorway awkwardly. Her neighbor stood at his own door, looking from the retreating Lia to her visitor quizzically.

He laughed nervously, saying, "She's a bit drunk." Sighing, Remus stepped into the apartment and closed the door behind him. Upon entering he spotted several empty bottles of sherry among various paperwork scattered across the table.

"What did you do to yourself, Lia?" he whispered.

"Funny you should ask," Aurelia said from behind him, making Remus jump. She put the bottle she held up to her lips, but did not drink. Setting the beer down, she began pacing. Remus watched her carefully as she ranted. "I was thinking, because...I do that, sometimes. I thought, 'Wow! I don't have a purpose in life.' So, here I was in the middle of some park, crying my eyes out because I find out my bloody cousin's a Death Eater, and I'm thinking the world's got no place for me. And--and you figure after awhile I'd turf out the idea, but I get in a flap about it, right? Then some nutter walks by and tells me I look peaky. Peaky! Doesn't surprise me, since I was in such a state. But I go whinging to Dumbledore about the whole damn thing and he tells me I have to wait. That I need time. Like I have time, Remus! Remus, I don't...I'm not ready yet. I can't do it all! There's too much there for one person. I'll go mad!"

Remus stepped in front of her, catching her by the shoulders in mid-pace. He bent down to look her straight in the eye.

"Lia," he said softly, smelling the alcohol on her breath. "I came here because I was worried about you. I wanted to see how you're taking this whole thing. Obviously, it isn't going so well. But I need to know: what can't you handle?"

She lowered her eyes as if in concentration, but they fell on something else.

"Remus...where's my shirt?"

"Aurelia--"

"I swear I had it on a second ago."

"Aurelia, focus!" Remus said firmly, shaking her shoulders a little. "Why are you going to go mad?"

Again, she tried to concentrate, shifting her stare to the windows. "I'm a tool," she answered in a small voice.

"What do you mean?" He loosened his grip slightly as he watched her.

"Dumbledore says he needs a place to hide it. Somewhere safe, locked away, so that You-Know-Who can't get to it so easy. He says I can help."

"What is it?"

"Information. Something..." She shuther eyes tightly so that wrinkles formed on the sides of each eyelid. "Something about Horcruxes. I don't know what they are, exactly, but he needs me to remember names, dates, places. He can't risk...but there's so many."

Seeing that she was about ready to burst into tears, Remus pulled her into his arms and rubbed her back gently as she cried into his shirt. After awhile, he ushered her to her room and laid her down on the bed. Before he even turned out the lights, she had fallen asleep and he could hear her soft breathing from the doorway.

He made his way out of the flat and as soon as he stepped out of the building, Apparated to headquarters, intent on speaking with Dumbledore.

- - - - -

Dreams are the way the subconscious takes to solving problems not resolved during bouts of consciousness. The simple fact that dreaming of something for an extended period of time causes a person to fulfill that desire is a testament to that.

It was during her dreams that Silvia reached a resolution to her predicament.

With the appearance of change, she acted as if the previous day never happened. She'd woken up to find herself in bed, somewhere she never remembered reaching the previous night. Evan was beside her, his arm looped lazily around her waist in an act of security. She had to smile slightly at his sleeping form. He was one of the only people who could wrestle with her when she was in one of her moods. Most other people, men and women alike, just left her to her own devices.

Leaving the bed's warmth, she forewent a shower after her impromptu one before. She dressed in simple clothes to blend in better with the surrounding world and made her way to the other rooms. Silvia almost forgot the whereabouts of her wand, before remembering it had remained in her coat pocket the entire time. She stuck it in her back pocket and proceeded lazily to the kitchen.

Once there, she went about preparing a small breakfast so she'd at least have some strength for the trip she planned to make that day. It was most likely this action that caused the one flaw in her plan. Evan walked into the room.

He leaned back and watched as she fried herself a pair of eggs in the skillet, foregoing the magical way.

"You know, keeping your wand there could cause accidents."

"And wouldn't that be just a shame?"

"It would," he said as he approached her to take a bite out of the toast she'd already prepared. "I happen to like your butt just as it is."

He playfully nipped at her ear.

Silvia laughed. She flipped her newly finished eggs onto a plate with now half a piece of toast. "I guess you just ruined a chance for breakfast in bed."

Evan grinned, "It doesn't exactly look like you were making enough for both of us, Via."

She scoffed. "I could have made more. Hey! Stop that!" She grabbed the remainder of her toast from his hand to keep it away from his mouth. "I was making breakfast for a reason, you know!"

"And what would that be?"

"I've got a big day ahead of me," she said, beaming brightly, not allowing any of her true intentions to shine through.

"And my eating a piece of toast affects that horribly? Somehow, I doubt that." Evan noticed how she looked away for an instant and he gave her a patronizing stare. "Silvia, what are you planning?"

"Me?" she asked in disbelief. "Nothing! Why would you say that?"

"Because I know that look."

"You're just a little off your rocker since last night's festivities. I'll make it up to you later. For now, I've got to run!" She gave him kiss before heading towards the door. She Apparated with an audible pop, intent on making her dream a reality.

- - - - -

It had taken most of the day to locate the person she wanted to meet with and even at that, it hadn't quite worked out in her favor. So here she was, in Ireland, sitting in the stands of a Quidditch field, waiting for the team to end practice. She had business to attend to with their Keeper.

Her attendance at the pitch did not go unnoticed by the players, though. Some had even flown a little closer than necessary to the stand to find out who was watching them. Silvia had only grinned in response. As the practice ended, the players gravitated towards the ground and she uprooted herself from her seat and began the trek towards them.

"Who do you think that is?"

"I don't know, but I wouldn't mine gettin' her flat number," said one of the chasers, elbowing a beater with a suggestive wink.

The team's female members simply rolled their eyes and made for the locker rooms. The males waited, striking a pose. The Keeper was still collecting some of the components of the game. As the feminine figure finally reached their group, she stopped. Removing her sunglasses, she revealed striking grey eyes.

"Well hello there."

"Hello yourself," one of the players greeted while his chin leaned over his broom handle.

Silvia smiled amicably. "I was wondering if you boys could help me locate someone."

"And that would be who, exactly?" Another asked while giving her an award-wining smile.

"Romey Colton."

The group groaned. The one with shockingly red hair was the first to speak. "You don't want him. He's married--children and a white picket fence. How's about we take you out instead."

"Sorry, but I'm afraid I've got to talk with him." Silvia thought the bunch of them were cute but just not her taste. Not to mention she had Evan waiting at home and she was actually here for a purpose that meant a damn to her.

They made faces of disappointment before one of them turned back to look at the wayward Keeper. "Hey, Romey! There's a woman here to see you!" he shouted loud enough that a charm wasn't even necessary. He had obviously done that sort of thing before.

"What's her name?" Romey shouted back as he carried the Quidditch case back towards the group. He wasn't in any hurry to find out who the visitor was, even though his curiosity was peaked.

"What's your name, sweetheart?"

"Silvia," she answered, knowing full and well her cousin would take this news worse than anything else. Throughout the years they had never really seen eye to eye. The only thing keeping them from doing anything drastic to one another was Aurelia.

"It's Silvia!" the man shouted back.

The Keeper's response was interesting indeed. Not to mention that he'd slowed down considerably upon hearing the woman's name. "What color's her hair?"

"Why do you want to know what color her bloody hair is?" He received no response. He muttered a curse under his breath before taking a look at her in order to answer the inquiry. "It's blue...er, actually more on the navy side, really."

Romey finally reached the group. He deposited the box on the ground before looking at the young woman. "Nice to know you picked a lasting color."

Silvia smirked. Her cousin knew full and well about her slew of hair dyes throughout her Hogwarts years. Aurelia had no doubt told him about the various styles. "What? No hello hug for your cousin?"

"What do you want?" He looked down at her, not even noticing that his teammates seemed to think he should take up the suggestion with the shooing motions they made.

"To talk, dear heart." She looped her arm through one of his and then started walking towards the end of the field. Her grip was tight enough that he had to oblige and keep up. She turned and gave a good-bye wave to the others.

The man who had previously been leaning on his broom watched with the assembly as they walked away. "Damn, that's his cousin? Lucky bastard."

"Have you seen his sister? The guy's got..."

The conversation trailed off as they made the hike towards the locker room. No doubt the women were already long gone.

Silvia laughed. "All right, now that that's taken care of, I need to talk to you about Aurelia."

"What about her? I swear if you've done anything--"

She placed her hands on her hips in mild indignation and annoyance. He always jumped to conclusions with her. Just because most of the time she did something horrible didn't mean it would happen every time.

"Now why would I hurt her? She's my cousin for goodness sake! The reason I'm here is to make sure Aurelia remains unharmed."

Romey hesitated before saying, "I'm listening."

- - - - -

Aurelia found it both strange and discomforting that when she walked out of her flat, the nosy Muggle in 128, who had been leaning against his door that morning, had winked at her as if they were having some risky love affair like in the movies. She disregarded the gesture as being unintended for her.

Her head still ached painfully even though her night of festivities had been several days previous. That morning she had decided she would return to the Order meetings and try to account for her horrible behavior, but she still could not forgive anyone.

Every now and then she would unknowingly brake into silent sobs. She had walked to The Leaky Cauldron on Thursday afternoon and almost the moment she stepped into the inn, the tears began to fall. A handsome gentleman helped her to a seat across the room from the cousin's meeting spot. Just when she had settled back down, Tom had asked her if the other Colton was joining her, and once more her eyes blurred.

Today would be different, though. She had decided she had spent all the excess water in her system. She would not cry again.

Walking into the alley behind her apartment building, Lia Apparated into the front yard of the Order of the Phoenix headquarters. Despite the fact that she had done it so many times before, she could not bring herself to take one step closer. Fighting herself wasn't helping either, so she just stood there, staring at the overwhelming, magically-protected mansion. Her mind was a black canvas. The only thought that came to her was, I haven't eaten all day.

She was shocked from her silence by two consecutive pops.

"Lia..."

She heard Lily's voice nearly crack as she said the name, but the giant hug she received was the sign that Aurelia wouldn't have to apologize for anything she might have done in days previous.

James stood back and gazed at the flabbergasted look on his friend's face as his wife strangled her in a tight embrace.

"As much as Aurelia is undoubtedly glad to see you, love," said James quietly, "I think you might be choking her."

Lily released her and stepped back.

"I'm sorry, Lia. I shouldn't have--"

Aurelia ignored her and without a word, stepped back into Lily's arms. She spotted James' satisfied smile out of the corner of her eye. Betraying her promise, she let go and a few tears fell onto Lily's shirt. Feeling them drop, Lily placed a hand on Aurelia's head and let her cry into her shoulder.

A few minutes later they appeared at the door of headquarters. Lia wiped her eyes so as not to attract attention, and laughed, almost numbly, saying, "I've been crying on just about everyone lately."

The door opened and Sirius appeared. Aurelia looked up at him, her eyes still watery, but quickly she side-stepped past him into the hall before he could get out a 'hey, love'. He tried to follow, but James grabbed his shoulder and held him back, softly saying, "Give her time, mate."

Aurelia had been halfway down the hall when she heard James whisper the statement that was undoubtedly meant to be sensitive, but she couldn't shake the feeling. She stopped dead in her tracks, spun around, walking right back to where Sirius still stood. Just before their hands instinctively curved around each other's faces and their lips locked, Aurelia muttered, "I don't have time to waste."

- - - - -

It was a disgrace. Igor Karkaroff had been captured by Aurors. Not that it was a surprise. The man was as scary as a limp worm, about as useful too. Silvia certainly wouldn't waste her breath missing him and his attitude. He could talk the talk but not even come close to walking the walk. It was amusing, really.

Except that this was his fault.

A group of them were out to see if they could locate any sort of Auror to extract Karkaroff's whereabouts. It wasn't out of camaraderie or loyalty to him; it was simply because, having the spine of a worm, he would certainly give away valuable information to the Ministry. He would have to be silenced.

So here they were, Evan, Wilkes, Snape, Rodolphus and Silvia, approaching a Ministry worker's house which was curiously set off from much of the wizarding world. Apparently they liked their privacy, but it would serve the Death Eater's purpose just fine.

Not caring much for secrecy in the seclusion surrounding them, they opted for the front door. Wilkes moved towards the door and felt it turn under his hand. He looked back with a grin. "Easy as pie."

When the door opened, Wilkes didn't have time to see the red sparks that flew at his chest. He went fell backwards and one of the others bent down to drag him away from the door. Silvia drew out her wand and muttered, "Rennervate!" watching as he came back to consciousness. "Come on, move back. Someone's inside."

Evan raised his wand and pointed it at the house. "Incendio!" He cast the spell and immediately the house was aflame. "We'll see who's inside now."

They all had their wands out; Wilkes for the most part recovered as a group of Aurors flooded from the door. They already had wands out and at the ready. Among them, Silvia recognized Mad-Eye Moody, Shacklebolt and Williamson. The two others were unknown. No doubt unimportant in the long run.

"We've been set up," Rodolphus growled as he looked across at the assembled group.

"Let's give them a warm welcome then." Silvia smirked as she pointed towards Williamson. "Crucio!"

He screamed, falling to his knees and then toppling to the ground. That action seemed to stir all the others into action. Everyone picked out an enemy to duel.

Evan was pitted against Mad-Eye, Rodolphus and Kingsley were already fighting tooth and nail, Snape and Wilkes each were with one of the unknowns. They would just be getting used to fighting Death Eaters. Luckily for them, this would probably be the last time they would have to.

Silvia stalked closer to Williamson, letting go of the curse for a moment. She crouched next to him. "Poor dear," she said as she ran a nail down the side of his face. "Want me to relieve the pain?"

His reply was a groan and she laughed. He brought up his wand and muttered out the incantation of a blasting curse. He sat on his elbows as he watched the navy-haired witch get shot across the clearing. Slowly, he made his way to a tree, using it and the ground for the majority of his support. He used the trunk to haul himself upright and rest his weight. Noticing how she was stirring from the ground, he brought up his wand again.

"Now that wasn't nice," Silvia growled as she picked herself off the ground. She made her way towards him, noticing how her pace had slowed almost a stop. As it was, she was going the pace of a snail that was stuck in molasses.

"Oh, real brilliant. Impediment Curse. I'm quaking."

She whispered the counter curse and flexed her legs. She looked up to see a wand pointed at her again. She threw herself out of its path just in time to let the red sparks travel past where her body would have previously been.

From the ground, she moved so that her wand arm was free. "Avis," she said, letting the little birds occupy the Auror while she got her footing again. She smirked and sent a barrage of arrows shooting from her wand towards him. In turn, he managed to blast them before they hurled themselves any closer. He was unable, however, to stop the body bind that hit his chest.

Watching him fall, Silvia decided to let him live for the present time. They needed someone to question about this mishap and he would do nicely. She pointed her wand at him again and let vines wrap around his body, subduing him incase he somehow undid the effects of the bind.

Silvia left him lying there and went to go help one of her fellows. She was just approaching Wilkes, who was looking around in search of his Auror, when she saw the man in question approach behind him. He quickly pointed his wand at Wilkes and yelled, "Avada Kedavra!"

She screamed.

It wasn't a frightened scream, more of shock and anger. True, the Aurors were given the right to use the Killing Curse in order to fight fairly with Death Eaters, but most preferred not to stoop to their level. This, for the most part, worked nicely for them. Silvia charged the Auror, who simply Apparated before he could be caught.

Quickly, Silvia knelt down by Wilkes. She checked his vitals. There were none. Half the time the Ministry dimwits didn't have the drive to actually perform an effective curse. Apparently, this one had succeeded. She wiped a navy lock from her face, while dragging her hand across the fallen friend's eyes, shutting them from the world. She placed a kiss to his forehead before standing. She was in time to see the Auror freeing the previously captive Williamson.

"Bastard," she seethed, stalking nearer to the pair. They had both Apparated before she could take any revengeful measures against them. Hearing the pop of their return a little farther off, she turned. Her eyes fell upon a scene she wished she hadn't witnessed.

They had both gone to surround Evan along with Moody. The older Auror looked peeved at their intervention, but accepted the help nonetheless. They wrestled Evan to the ground. All the while, he struggled. Finally, he was still and they began to bind his hands.

"You're under arrest," one of them stated. Silvia was sure it was the same prick that had killed Wilkes. They enjoyed causing harm to others.

Evan held a smirk which went unnoticed in the darkness. He lashed out with his legs, taking the footing of Williamson. He stood up in a flurry and punched Wilkes' killer in the face. Then he turned his wand on Moody. He hit him will a spell and the man screamed; something fell from his face.

Wilkes' killer regained his footing and dug into his robes, producing a knife. His eyes were crazed as he ran at Evan, who grabbed his arm and slung him over his hip. The knife fell, forgotten, lodged upright between tree roots.

Moody had let go of his face, to glare at the Death Eater. He brought his wand up and sent a spell at Evan. The dark-skinned man was forced to roll to the ground. In effect he went towards the tree. The Auror sent a blasting curse at him, knocking him backwards when he had just regained his footing. He flew into the tree and slid down. He remained unmoving.

The Auror walked over towards him, cautiously, as if this was a trick.

It wasn't.

He bent down to see the young man choking on the blood that was coming out of his mouth. Turning him slightly, which earned a bitten back cry; he saw the knife dug deep into the man's chest. He stood up with a rueful look on his face. Moody did not relish the wanton killing of others, whether they deserved it or not.

Silvia screamed and whirled to find Wilkes' killer. Raising her wand, she pointed it and hissed, "Avada Kedavra!" Immediately a jet of green light was sent straight into the man's body. He fell to the ground, stone cold. She rushed over to where her lover was. Moody had the good sense to apparate away before she reached him. She knelt down beside Evan, running her hand down his face and to his chest. She felt the warm liquid of his life slipping away from him.

"No, no! You can't leave me!"

She looked into his eyes and his hand found hers, giving it a weak squeeze. His mouth moved, but all that came out was blood. It was moments before his eyes closed and did not reopen. His chest didn't rise for any of the labored breathing he had been sustained by.

"Oh, Merlin, NO!" She fisted her hands in his robes, shaking his frame in the hopes of bringing him back. She didn't notice that the Aurors had gathered themselves together and left. Neither did she notice that the two remaining Death Eaters were making their way towards her.

Rodolphus stopped Severus a few feet from where Silvia and Evan lay. "Severus, perhaps I should handle her. Go and get Wilkes' body."

Snape sent a look back at the pair before grudgingly nodding. No doubt the woman would lash out at anyone that got near her. He could do without the bruises.

Cautiously Rodolphus approached, laying a hand on her shoulder. "Silvia, we have to go."

"No. We're not leaving until Evan wakes up."

"Silvia, he's dead." He spoke in a soft voice, like that used for a child.

She turned around to glare at him with narrowed grey eyes. "You're lying. This is just a dream." She turned back to Evan and pressed herself against his cooling form. "Just a dream, a nightmare. It's not real."

Rodolphus knelt down beside her. "It's not a dream. It's real. He's dead, Silvia."

Silvia seemed to accept that as she let him wrap an arm around her shoulders in comfort. She let his warmth surround her. It was nice to have someone who cared about her. Evan was always thoughtful like that. She looked up, wanting to see his gorgeous, dark eyes. Instead, she found the cool eyes of Rodolphus. She screamed and tried to get away from him. His arms tightened around her as he managed to stand up. She kicked and scratched at him all the while.

He flinched but said nothing. He brought her as far as he could from Evan's body. The constant reminder would do worse for her than anything else. She tried to break free, tried to run back to Evan. After what seemed like forever, she stopped struggling against his hold. Sobs escaped her throat and tears rolled down her cheeks. Her knees gave way and she was only held up by his arms.

"He said he'd always be there...always! Where is he now? He left me...he left me all alone!"

"You're not alone Silvia, you've still got Bella and I, Lucius, Cissa, and everyone else. We'll get them back," he said softly.

"I know Rudy...but I don't think it's enough. I want to hurt something...someone. Where's Severus? He'll do...Maybe I'll dunk him in water until all that grease is out of his hair...Did you see that last git? I got him good with a Killing Curse to his chest. Never saw it coming...I can't wait to tell Evan about it. He'll be thrilled..." Her eyes were unfocused as she rambled on.

He let her trample through her thoughts before she realized once again that Evan was gone. That he was never coming back. They went to the ground and she allowed him to hug her, letting him be her support. She was letting everything out.

But as she did, she could feel her heart hardening as the pieces lay broken. The rain was never coming for her. No longer did it matter that her cousin was in the Order, she had already solved that problem with Romey. If that didn't work out, she didn't mind as much anymore. No, now she had lost the one thing in her life that made her feel incredible. She'd lost the only man she had ever loved, the only man that had cared fully for her. Evan Rosier was dead, and with it Silvia vowed to lose herself so much that the rain would never be able to find her, never be able to save her.