Unbecoming

Chapter Ten

When they returned to the cottage, Ginny was sitting on the couch, wrapped in a blanket, her eyes red and bloodshot. She was sipping coffee and staring into the fire in the hearth, though she looked up when she heard the door open.

Her brown eyes took in Draco’s broken shoes and Ron’s tearstained face, and she sighed. “I knew it,” she said. “I knew leaving you alone was a bad idea.”

“Aren’t you supposed to be sleeping?” Draco asked pointedly, taking his cloak off.

“I tried. Then I had horrible visions of the two of you having mass panic attacks and murdering each other out in the snow. What happened?”

“Nothing,” Ron mumbled. “Forget it.” He tried to smile, and it was a sour attempt.

Ginny’s eyes narrowed and she sniffed disdainfully but didn’t reply. Ron sat on the floor and started trying to repair Draco’s broken shoe with his wand, but he kept having to pause and sniffle loudly. It was quite pathetic.

Finally, when Ginny could stand it no more, she growled, threw her blanket aside, grabbed Draco by the arm, and dragged him from the room, into a bedroom. Ron watched, wide-eyed.

“If they’re shagging,” he said to himself quietly, “I’m gonna have no choice but to throw myself off the nearest sodding bridge I can find.”

He went back to repairing the shoes, glancing up every now and again when the voices got particularly vocal from behind the door. They were shouting at each other but he couldn’t make out the words.

After the shoes were finished, Ron stashed them back in the closet, grabbed his cloak, stole one of Draco’s cigarettes, and went out onto the front porch to smoke it. His hands were trembling when he lit it, but Ron was alone and, with no one to notice, he wasn’t insecure about it. He sucked idly on the cigarette and let the smoke back out through his mouth and nose, watching it swirl and twist in the cold air thoughtfully. He felt like an emotional wreck. It was true, he did cry too much for a boy.

He wasn’t crying now, however. He was shaking a little, and aching, but he wasn’t crying. His eyelashes still felt sticky, however, and the moisture there began to freeze, until tiny crystals of ice had formed. He closed his eyes and leaned back against the wall, sighing and taking another drag of the cigarette. It was calming and he couldn’t hear the shouting from outside, and he relaxed, slowly, his eyelids fluttering and sliding shut. He was cold and shivering but he’d rather be cold and shivering than inside and terrified, and he gradually felt himself falling asleep.

The door flew open and slammed against the wall mere inches from his face.

It was Draco, and he looked absolutely livid. He didn’t see Ron at first, who was too disoriented to call out to him, and Draco stalked out of the cottage, hissing under his breath.

“You’re leaving, then?” Ron asked softly.

Draco spun quickly. “I’m gonna fucking kill you,” he snarled.

Ron blinked. “Why?”

“I thought you’d left! You weren’t there and I couldn’t find you and I thought you were gone!”

“I was just thinking,” Ron said defensively. “I didn’t want to hear the shouting, so I came out here. I wasn’t leaving.”

Draco’s eyes narrowed dangerously. “Your sister lost her mind.”

A sudden thought made Ron yelp. “You haven’t killed her, have you?”

“No, though she’d deserve it if I had. She’s inside, drinking more coffee and calmly waiting for me to drag you back so she can yell at you too.”

Ron flinched. “Lovely.” There was a tense silence, and Ron finally broke it by saying softly, “I didn’t mean to worry you. I’d better go in.” He tossed his cigarette butt aside and slipped past Draco without touching him.

Ginny saw him and put her coffee mug aside. “ C’mon,” she said grimly, taking his hand and tugging him into her room. Draco flopped down on the couch, growling under his breath, and Ron smiled weakly at him before Ginny closed the bedroom door.

“Sit,” she commanded, and he did, on the edge of the bed. She studied his face carefully, and Ron braced himself for shouting. After a moment, however, Ginny said quietly, “Are you alright?”

It was an unexpected gentleness, and Ron’s eyes welled up with tears. “I… I don’t know,” he confessed.

“Aw, fuck, Ron,” she sighed, sitting beside him and wrapping an arm around him. “I’m sorry.”

“For what?” he asked, swallowing hard and closing his eyes, determined not to cry.

“I wouldn’t have let you fall for him if I knew it was going to make you cry.”

“I’m not crying,” he told her.

She smoothed his hair and smiled. “I know, I can see.” She was silent for a moment, and then asked, “What happened?”

“Oh, he just told me why he doesn’t believe in love. And why his father was so determined to kill him.”

“The two are connected?”

“Yes. Because Draco found his soul mate and his soul mate was Harry Potter except that Harry didn’t agree with that but he still fucked Draco anyway, and so Lucius disowned him and tried to kill him.”

Ginny considered this for a moment and then said, “And that’s why he said he doesn’t love you?”

“Mmm.”

“What have you got to do with all that?”

“Nothing. But he claims love is degrading.”

She stuck her tongue out. “It’s not. You’ll have to change his mind.”

He sighed. “I don’t know if I can,” he admitted.

“What do you mean? Of course you can. Shut up,” she said, shoving him lightly. He smiled a little, closing his eyes and resting his head on her shoulder. “What are you thinking?” she asked a moment later.

“Just now?”

“Yes.”

“That I’d like a drink. A stiff drink,” he confessed. And then he nearly started to cry. He didn’t, though, because he cried too often for a boy.

“Oh, Ron,” she sighed. “Here, lie down…” she guided him until he was lying on her bed, and then tucked the covers up to his chin. “There. Sleep, it’ll be better in the morning, you’re just tired, is all. Didn’t get much sleep last night, I bet.” She grinned a little. “And don’t worry overly much about Malfoy, he’ll come around. Wait here, I’ll get you a drink. Not a stiff one, but a drink at least. Best I can do.”

She left the room, talking softly to Draco for a moment, then returning with some tea. Watching carefully until he’d drank the whole thing, she took the cup back and left the room.

The walls swung dizzily and Ron decided he was more exhausted than he thought. His eyelids fluttered sleepily.

“Ron?” It was Draco, standing in the doorway.

“Mmm?” he murmured, yawning.

“Are you alright?”

“Wha?” The room was spinning alarmingly.

“Ginny told me you were crying.”

“I don’t cry,” he said, his voice slurred. He was so sleepy.

“Yeah…” Draco trailed off uncertainly.

Frowning, Ron mumbled, “I’m so tired.”

“That would be because your sister slipped a potion into your tea.”

Ron panicked, leaping out of the bed and grabbing Draco’s arm before the vertigo of the sudden movement could catch up with him. “I swear to fucking god, Draco, if you planned to drug me and leave me again…”

“Okay, calm down,” Draco said, alarmed and catching Ron as he swayed dizzily. “Whoa. Breathe. I’m not going anywhere, she just thought you should sleep, because you were upset.”

“I’m not upset,” he growled. “And I’m not crying either.” Tears were running down his cheeks.

“Okay, okay, you’re not,” Draco said quickly. “Shh, stop… okay, fuck it.” He pushed Ron back to the bed and forced him to lie down, covering him up again. Ron still hadn’t let go of his arm.

“Stay with me,” Ron ordered. “Fucking stay with me. If you leave, I swear…”

“I’m not going to leave, fuck,” Draco mumbled, even as he fell into the bed and let Ron curl up around him, pinning him there.

“Stay,” Ron whispered again.

Ginny popped her head in the door and growled. “I told you to leave him alone for tonight, Malfoy,” she snapped. “God, it’s like bloody musical beds in this sodding place.” She closed the door and the room was cast into darkness.

***

“Wake up. Wake up wake up wake up.” Every word was accompanied by a jab or a shake or, in one instance, a kiss.

Ron cracked open one eye and grimaced. “Draco?” he asked.

“Mmm?”

“It’s fucking bright in here.” He closed his eye.

“It’s morning, that’s why. Are you awake?”

“No,” he moaned.

Draco licked his ear.

Eyes flying open, Ron scowled. “What are you doing?”

“Wake up,” Draco said.

“Why?”

“I wanted to talk to you. I’ve been thinking…”

Ron grimaced and rubbed his eyes sleepily, mind still hazily trying to piece the night before together. “About what?”

“Everything. Ron, I think I should leave.”

He blinked and held perfectly still for a long moment, and then started to shout. “Leave? Leave? What do you mean, leave? You can’t just leave! I hate you! No, seriously, I fucking hate you!”

"Stop... stop fucking shouting!" Draco snapped. "You never listen, you always just freak out without even listening!"

Ron stared at him nearly blankly for a long moment and then shook his head in disgust. "You know what, fine. You want to go, then go, I don't care anymore." He rolled out of the bed and would have stomped away, but Draco grabbed his wrist.

"Listen to me," he said quietly. "Stop pretending you don't care, we both know you do."

Ron glanced back at him, his lower lip trembling just a little, though he tried to hide it. "You're going to use that against me forever, aren't you?" he asked softly. "The fact that I accidentally told you I loved you." He cocked his head thoughtfully, trying to decide whether or not he was strong enough for this. "You don't have to leave," he said quietly.

Looking wary, Draco frowned. "Why not?"

"Because you're leaving so you won't have to be around me, and you won't have to worry."

"That's not... it isn't because..." Exasperated, Draco let out a frustrated breath. "It's not that I don't want to be around you, I just--"

"No. It doesn't matter. I don't care why you feel you've got to leave me and I don't want to hear whatever excuses you come up with for why you feel you can't stand to be near me anymore. I'm sick of sitting here waiting for the moment when you snap and disappear in the middle of the night again and I'm not going to do it anymore! You said love is degrading, well it hasn't been, not for me, and I won't let it get that far. I won't beg you and I won't let you walk away from me again. Fuck you, I don't care. You're not leaving me, because I'm leaving you first. I'm going back to London. So you can go do whatever the fuck it is you think you have to, and I won't care. You might not have noticed, but in the year you were gone, I got over it. I got a life outside of waiting for you to show up again."

"I had noticed," Draco said very, very quietly.

Ron blinked and then shook his head. "Good. I'm going home. You can stay here or leave if you want, it doesn't matter to me anymore."

"I thought you loved--"

"I don't believe in love." Ron smiled sharply and walked out of the room, calling over his shoulder, "Your wand is in the cupboard over the sink in the kitchen."

"Ron. Ron, wait, I didn't want--"

"I'm sick of trying to figure out what, exactly, it is you want, Malfoy." He slammed the door behind him.

Ginny was standing in the middle of the living room, looking pale and stunned. "Ron, you can't just leave like this," she whispered.

"I have to." He ran a shaking hand through his hair, even as he heard Draco shouting something from the bedroom, and the sound of something crashing to the floor. Draco was trashing the room. "I can't... I can't do this. He doesn't want to be here."

Something else smashed in the room he'd just left, and Ron flinched, letting out a shaky breath. "I'm going home, going back to London. He... he knows where to find me, if he ever wants to find me."

"If you're doing this to see if he'll come after you, he's Draco Malfoy. He doesn't chase after anyone. Don't..." she whispered.

He ignored her, though it hurt and he felt like he was about to cry. He hugged her tightly, kissed her forehead, and said quietly, "Take care of him, make sure he doesn't do anything stupid, okay? I don't think anyone's ever left him before, but I just... if he doesn't want... Fuck, never mind. Come and see me soon, alright?"

She nodded tearfully and Ron Apparated out of the cottage, back to his London flat.

The sounds of Draco trashing the bedroom faded and a dull, hushed silence fell over him. He was home, and it looked empty, was so quiet that it seemed to echo.

"I'm alright," he told himself, because he didn't need Draco Malfoy. He loved him, sure, but he didn't need him. Could live with out him. It would be much more painless, this empty, sterile flat. He had his job and visits from Hermione and his family and that was all he needed. Love was for the weak, and Ron had grown out of being weak.

Still, he couldn't help his eyes stinging and his throat feeling tight as he forced himself into the kitchen to brew some tea, the monotonous task busying his hands and taking his mind off what he'd just done.

He wondered if it would be more than a year again before he saw Draco, and wondered how he'd survive it. If he would survive it, and if he even wanted to.

***

It didn't take a year, though when Draco showed up at Ron's flat a week later, it certainly wasn't the 'I love you I'm sorry I'm such an arse' scenario that Ron had secretly been daydreaming of, even while writing Quidditch reports for The Daily Prophet.

"Get in the fucking car."

Without another word, Draco turned and walked away. "C-Car?" Ron stammered, his initial rush of pure heat that was an intoxicating mixture of sexual frustration and something softer and fuzzier fading as Draco walked away. It was snowing heavily, and windy as well.

"Mmm," Draco said, without looking back. There was a car parked at the curb and he climbed into the backseat while Ron stared in confusion. There was a tense moment in which his uncertainty held him frozen, and then the driver's side door opened and Harry appeared, looking irritated. He jogged up to the door.

"Ron," he said, smiling in a distracted way. "Sorry, I wouldn't have sent him to get you if I'd known he'd be such a dick about it."

"I... I guess I couldn't have expected better from him. What's going on? Why are you and Draco Malfoy driving about London in a Muggle car?"

Harry's face sobered. "It's Ginny, Ron. She should never have come back to England, William had tracers on her. As soon as she came close enough to the origin of the tracking charm, it told them where she was. They took her four days ago."

The world shifted just a little under Ron's feet. "What?" he whispered. "What... I... four days? Is she okay? Where is she?" He was hyperventilating, and Harry grabbed his wrist.

"Calm down, it won't help if you lose it now. Four days, yeah. We didn't know until they sent Draco an owl."

"Owl. Why did they... why..." He ran a shaky hand through his hair.

"They think she's his lover," Harry said quietly. "They think that's why the two of them were always together. Because they're in love."

A burst of surprise laughter split the air. "In love. And they're what, ransoming her?"

"No," he whispered. "They're offering an exchange. His life for hers."

"Oh my god," he moaned.

Draco was there suddenly, his face cold and cruel in the darkness. "Are we done talking?" he asked nastily. "Because quite honestly, there are more important things we could be doing."

Ron stared at him blankly, breathing heavily. "C'mon," Harry said gently. "Get in the car, we'll talk more on the way."

"I should... should owl mum and tell her..." Ron whispered, eyes very wide. He felt rather faint.

"Don't bother, we'll have Ginny back before your mother can worry," Draco said, and Ron scanned his face for any hint of anything other than coldness. There was none.

"You promise?" he asked.

"Just get in the car." Draco walked back to the car, and Harry took Ron's hand and tugged him out of the flat.

He sat in the passenger seat and Draco sat sullenly in the back. Though Ron kept darting hesitant looks in the rearview mirrors, Draco never looked back.

"Why did you come for me?" Ron asked Harry, finally. Harry was driving. "And where are we going? Are we... are we gonna give them Draco?" Draco snorted but didn't say anything, and Ron flinched. "I didn't mean that like it sounded," he whispered.

"We came for you because Draco wanted to," Harry said. Ron blinked, surprised, but before he could ask, Harry continued. "We're going to the prearranged meeting point to exchange prisoners. No, we are not going to give them Draco. Not if we can help it."

"We can help it," Ron said quickly. Draco finally met his eyes in the mirror, though he still looked cold and remote.

"Even if it means losing your sister?" Harry said solemnly, glancing at Ron quickly and then back to the road.

"Why did Draco want me to come?" he whispered.

"Don't ask me," Harry said blandly. "We needed someone to wait in the car and drive Ginny home. If anything goes wrong, and if Ginny's not... well... someone will have to see to her and make sure she gets out okay. Draco thought it should be you."

A sudden realization made Ron frown. "You don't want me to be here," he said.

Harry shrugged. "Draco insisted." There was a tense silence, and then, "I don't know why, since you two obviously aren't on the best of terms, but he wanted you here."

"Why?" Ron asked softly, looking back at Draco. Draco didn't reply.

Harry cleared his throat and said, "Before Ginny was captured, he was at my flat in Hogsmeade--"

"Shut up, Potter," Draco snarled.

"At your flat?" Ron echoed, a lump rising in his throat.

"Yes, he showed up there in a terrible rage, said he needed me and--"

"Needed you?" Ron whispered, feeling ill.

Draco slammed his foot against the back of Harry's seat. "Shut the fuck up!"

Glancing in the rearview mirror nervously, Harry continued. "Needed me, yeah. That he wanted to take them out, once and for all, so he could stop running. He didn't want to run and hide anymore because--"

"I swear to fucking god, Potter, if you don't shut your goddamned mouth right fucking now..."

"Because he had decided that he couldn't stand running anymore. I asked him if it was because of you and he laughed and said--"

"Shut up! Shut the fuck up!" Draco was getting hysterical, and Ron watched him nervously.

"Harry, maybe you shouldn't," he said quietly, worried because Draco was frantically trying to undo his seatbelt but failing because he did not understand how the Muggle device worked.

"Well if he won't tell you, I have to!" Harry snapped. "Fuck, Draco, grow up. He said that it was because of you, but only a little. That he had decided that he wanted to-- ouch! Stop fucking kicking my seat, Malfoy! That he had wanted to be with you without putting you in danger and when he'd tried to tell you-- Fuck! Malfoy!" Harry lost his temper, pulled out his wand, and cast a Full-Body Bind on Draco, who looked stunned and furious, frozen in the backseat. "He said," Harry continued quietly, "That he had wanted to be with you and not put you in danger, and he had decided to end things once and for all, but when he'd tried to tell you that, you'd freaked out and left him. And he wanted to end it anyway, because he was sick of hiding and running."

Ron blinked, still staring at Draco in shock. "What?" he whispered. "I thought he was leaving me."

Harry gave him a measured look and then said, "Shit, I've got to get some petrol."

A moment later, they were pulling into a petrol station and Harry got out of the car. There was a tense silence, and Draco was still cursed. Closing his eyes and taking a steadying breath, Ron undid his seatbelt and climbed in the back.

"Draco?" he whispered. His voice was thick. "Was that... Did you... I wasn't even... I'm... Really?"

Draco didn't answer, and Ron looked away, eyes flooding with tears. Then he remembered the body bind and turned back. Taking a deep breath, he leaned close and kissed Draco's lips softly. "I'm sorry," he said, very softly. "I thought... oh fuck."

He pulled out his wand and ended the charm.

"If you ever, ever fucking touch me again," Draco hissed, pulling away, until he was nearly huddled against the door. "I'll rip your bloody arm off."

Ron flinched. "I'm sorry, I--"

"I honestly don't fucking care."

"Draco--"

Draco deliberately turned his back, and Ron, mouth hanging open just slightly, felt beaten and raw.

"I'm sorry," he whimpered. Draco didn't reply.

Harry came back, glanced once at the both of them staring out opposite windows and carefully not touching, and sighed. "Well," he said. "That was a perfectly wasted opportunity." He got into the driver's seat and started the car.

They drove in silence for a while, heading out of London, and Ron stared blankly out the window, forgetting to breathe, forgetting to blink, until his lungs and his eyes began to burn. He rested his forehead against the cold window and closed his eyes. He coached himself to breathe deeply until the pain in his stomach that felt empty and hollow had faded, a bit.

"I was waiting for you," he said quietly. "I don't know if it matters or not, but if you didn't come for me in the next three days, I was going to track you down and beat you over the head until you got over this fucking idea of yours that love is degrading."

"Oh, and being beaten over the head and brainwashed, that's not degrading?" Draco snapped. At least it was a reply.

"Degrading?" Harry repeated. "Shit, Draco, you didn't tell Ron that love was degrading, did you? Even I'm not that dense about relationships!"

"Not that dense?" Draco hissed.

"He did," Ron told Harry.

"Not that fucking dense? Are you sure?" Draco laughed coldly.

"Draco, don't," Ron whispered, turning away from the window.

"Don't what?" Harry watched them both briefly in the mirror.

"Don't what?" Draco echoed mockingly.

"Don't take your anger at me out on Harry. What happened between you guys was a long time ago." Ron shook his head. "Harry doesn't know."

"I don't know what?" Harry cried.

"That Draco loved you and that he believes love is degrading because of... of loving you." Ron tried to say it gently, but the words were harsh and would have been, no matter the tone he chose.

They reached the city limits of London, and Draco was staring sullenly out his window, and Ron was watching him worriedly. Harry's pale face was a blurry reflection in the rearview mirror as he kept shooting terrified looks at both of them.

Finally, Harry pulled over and shut off the car. "I think we need to talk," he said, turning around and looking at Draco, chewing his lower lip thoughtfully. Around them, a heavy curtain of falling snow nearly blocked their view of the road.

"Oh, good, Ginny's life is at stake and we've pulled over for a chat. Fucking lovely." Draco slumped in his seat.

"Draco..." Harry said, taking a deep breath. "I didn't know."

Draco didn't reply, didn't look away from the window. Harry looked at Ron pleadingly. "I swear, I thought... I didn't know he was serious. He was never serious. I thought it was... a mind game... a power trip. You know. That's why I was so worried, last year, when you and him..."

"Worried?" Draco scoffed. "You were in love with him!"

Ron felt his eyes welling up with tears again and, figuring Draco and Harry would be better off working this out alone, he opened the door and slammed it behind him as he got out.

He walked a short ways, kicking at the snow and trying not to cry. It was very silent, save for the occasional car driving by, and very dark, not to mention cold. The snowfall had turned into a snowstorm, and he could barely see the car from only a short distance away. He hadn't brought a cloak with him and he shivered.

He fumbled in his pockets for a cigarette, lighting it and smoking absently, more because the brief glow of the tip was reassuring somehow, than because he liked it. He liked the way the smoke curled and the ash on the end of the cigarette burned red.

It only took three minutes for Draco to get out of the car, slamming the door furiously. He glanced at Ron and would have sneered and ignored him, but saw how pitifully he was shivering.

"Aw fuck, you're useless," he mumbled, tossing his own cloak around Ron's shoulders.

"You'll be cold."

"Shut up." Draco took the cigarette from between Ron's lips and took a long drag. "We have to get going."

"Have you and Harry--"

"Just get in the car."

Feeling decidedly miserable, Ron hugged Draco's cloak around him and snuggled into it, following him back to the car.

It was silent and tense all the way to the place where the meeting had been arranged. Harry pulled the car over a short distance away, out of sight of the clearing where the exchange would take place.

"This isn't a good idea," he said.

"What isn't? Getting Ginny back?" Ron cried.

"No. We'll get her back. I just don't like the idea of leaving you here alone and unprotected."

"I can take care of myself," Ron said, stung at the implication that he would need someone to protect him. "Just get Ginny back."

Draco shrugged. "It'll be fine. He's not going to be in danger here, they won't even know he's here. We'll go into the clearing, and Potter, you get Ginny out as soon as the exchange is made, and then come back, I expect I'll need backup getting out of there. Ron, you just drive away as fast as you can as soon as Ginny's in the car. You know how to drive?"

"Vaguely," he said truthfully.

"We brought the car so that, even if Ginny can't travel herself, you can get her out," Draco said, was he fumbled with the seatbelt.

"Can't travel herself?" he asked nervously.

"The owl did not guarantee that she wouldn't be hurt and she has been with them four days... Any number of things could have happened her in that time." Harry looked at Ron solemnly. "But we'll get her back, Ron, I swear." He got out of the car, and Ron expected Draco to follow, without a word. He was nervous and scared and worried that he'd never see any of them again, and didn't know what to say.

Draco broke the silence, starting him. "You'll be alright," he said abruptly. "That's why I wanted you. Because I needed someone to see that Ginny got away alright, and your brothers wouldn't handle it as well as you would. Just stay strong, alright? Don't panic, everything will be fine."

Ron looked at him in silence for a long moment. "Thank you," he said. "For bringing me. I would have thought I'd be the last person you'd choose to help."

"You told me that some people are worth risking everything for, and I trust your sister is one of them."

"So are you," Ron said quickly, before he could lose his nerve.

"You don't love me," Draco scoffed. "You don't believe in love. But do you trust me?"

"Yes," Ron said, without pause.

"I would not have thought of bringing you along if there was even the slightest chance you'd be hurt, even after you left me. Will you remember that?"

"Yes," Ron repeated, this time more slowly. "I will."

"And you won't do anything stupid? No attempts at being a hero?"

"I won't do anything. I'll stay here and wait. I swear."

"Good then. Good. I'll be back." He started getting out of the car.

"Draco. Draco, wait." Ron said hurriedly. "If... if they, like, find me... "

"They won't."

"But if I die--"

"I just told you that you weren't allowed to die."

"But if I do, I want you to know that I love you."

"Again, we covered that as well. You don't."

Ron took of Draco's cloak and handed it to him, and while Draco's hands were tangled in the cloak, he leaned close and kissed him hard. "Yes I do," he whispered.

"I told you if you touched me again, I'd rip your arm off," Draco said, breath brushing against Ron's lips.

"Was worth it," he said easily. "Losing an arm for a goodbye kiss."

Draco studied his eyes for a minute and then smiled faintly. "It wasn't a goodbye kiss."

"Then there will be more kisses?" Ron asked, feeling more chipper than he had in a week.

"No... I just mean that you're not going to die, I won't allow it. Now shut up. Take this, it'll get cold in here, without the heat on." He gave Ron back the cloak.

"I can keep myself warm with a spell."

"Just keep it." Draco started getting out of the car again, and Ron watched him go, eyes stinging. Glancing back once with a reassuring smile, Draco slammed the door and jogged after Harry, who had already started walking. It was only seconds later that he was lost in the falling snow.

Climbing into the driver's seat, Ron didn't put the cloak on, but he pulled it up around his shoulders like a blanket, and snuggled into it. He was worried and felt very much alone, as the snow fell more and more heavily, blocking out the entire world. But Ginny would be alright and they'd all come back, Draco had promised.

Time passed very slowly and Ron grew dizzy watching the snow swirl in the cold wind. It was very dark and quiet, and Ron buried his face in the cloak and breathed deeply, inhaling faint traces of Draco's scent, which was strangely calming.

"It'll all be over soon," he whispered reassuringly.

And then what? He could go home and write his reports and eat and sleep and work and eat and sleep again and... he frowned, because he'd been so proud of himself in this last year, for making his life into something and it had just occurred to him that maybe he wasn't terrified and drunk all the time any more, but everything was still... empty. There were many different types of loneliness, and things were rather sterile in his life, and he'd thought, for a year, that it was a calm and peace that he'd craved. It wasn't. There was only one thing he craved, and that was Draco, but the very thought of Draco coming back to London and staying with him forever and ever seemed laughable now. After Ron had left him. It was unforgivable, he knew. Leaving a Malfoy. Walking away. Malfoys never followed, never gave second chances, and never got over a slight like that one.

So Draco would bring Harry and Ginny back, and then go home, wherever he called home now, and Ron would go home and write his reports, and everything would be empty and flat. He frowned. Maybe Ginny would live with him for a while... That didn't help him look forward to it, however.

He cursed softly and leaned his forehead on the steering wheel, finally admitting that he'd spent his entire year building something of his life to make himself at least a little bit more worth Draco, on the off chance that Draco ever came back. The entire idea that he'd built a life because he wanted to have one to share with Draco was disheartening, especially now, when Draco wanted nothing to do with him. It was pointless and it was fucking stupid and Ron was sick of the whole idea that the only time life was worth living was when Draco was there to aggravate him. What sort of person's existence was based on someone who spent all his time either pissing him off or shagging him?

Forcing his thoughts away, Ron turned and breathed on the frosty window, idly drawing pictures in the fog. He smiled a little, his thoughts turning away from anger and bitterness, to other things, daydreams about what it would be like if Draco did love him and did want to live with him. His daydreams had reached a sickeningly sweet stage that involved white picket fences and puppy dogs, when Ron suddenly realized that nearly an hour had gone by, and Harry had not brought Ginny to the car.

Panic hit him suddenly and he glanced around at the heavy snowfall and into the darkness beyond. What if they'd gotten lost in the snow?

Though he'd been cautioned to keep the engine off so that no one would hear, Ron turned it on, fiddling with the controls until the headlights came on. They barely made a dent in the heavy snow, and he grew even more worried, scanning the darkness frantically, trying to calculate how much time had passed.

What if they'd been led into a trap or killed or taken prisoner? Lost in the snow? Grim scenarios piled up in his mind, until he started breathing so heavily in panic, that he grew dizzy.

The panic became a cold, cold fear a moment later, however, because all the waiting was over and they were back, except Draco wasn't walking. Harry was carrying him and, though they were just shadows, nearly blocked out from the snow and the darkness, Ron could see the blood.

Before he could react or even catch his breath, Harry was throwing the back door open and lying Draco inside.

"Get his shirt off," he snapped to Ginny, who was covered in blood herself, and pale, terrified, underneath it. "You're smaller than me, it'll be easier for you to do it."

Ginny nodded and crawled on top of Draco, whose eyes were closed and whose face had quite a bit of blood on it as well, and started tearing at his shirt, her fingers trembling.

"What happened?" Ron whimpered a long moment later.

Harry glanced up, looking almost startled to see him there. "There was a fight," he said. Then he turned back to Draco, watching critically as Ginny fumbled with the shirt.

"Is he... is he alright?" Ron could not look away from Draco's face, sticky with his own blood.

"He's breathing." Harry didn't look up.

Ginny did, trying to smile reassuringly. "Don't worry," she said. "We'll take care of him."

Draco's shirt was off now, and there was a deep wound in his chest, above the heart, bleeding heavily. "I haven't got a potion to clot the blood and it's bleeding too badly to just seal the wound without internal scarring," Harry said, a moment later. "We've got to get him back to London." He was carefully inspecting the wound, and even that gentle examination made Draco flinch and moan a bit, still unconscious.

"It's hurting him," Ron said softly, eyes stinging. "Oh my god."

"I'll cast a charm to help with the pain," Ginny told him. "He won't feel it for a bit. Harry's right, we've got to get him back."

"What happened? I mean, there was a fight, but how did... what happened?" Ron looked pleadingly at Ginny.

"Well, it was a trap," she said. "They were going to pretend to let me go and then, after they'd captured Draco, take Harry and I as well. So it got rather violent when Draco realized this, and we started fighting them all, but there were eight of them... William... William and Draco were dueling. And then William said... said that he was going to kill the three of us, and then..." she trailed off, clearing her throat.

"They didn't want the Ministry to know what had happened to us, and that meant destroying all the witnesses, so that they'd think Draco and I just... well, went missing. Like we did sometimes, before. When we were... together. Or whatever." Harry glanced at Ron and then back at Draco, as Ginny cast the pain charm and bandaged the wound with magic.

"Kill the witnesses," Ron echoed, eyes widening.

"One of them was on his way to kill you, but he got lost in the snow. We've got to get out of here before he finds his way to the car," Harry said.

"They told Draco they were gonna kill me."

Ginny nodded and said gently, "He was distracted, Ron. His reactions were all off and William had a dagger. While Draco was distracted, he threw it and it hit Draco in the chest."

Ron flinched and would have started to cry. "We've got no time for that," Harry snapped. "Just... fuck. We've got to get him to London. I'll drive. Ron... keep pressure on the wound to slow the bleeding. He might wake up, now that he won't feel the pain, so if he does, just keep him calm."

He crawled into the back, still stunned and shaking, and Ginny carefully arranged Draco so that his head was on Ron's lap, and then smoothed the cloak Ron handed her over him to keep him warm.

"He'll be fine," she promised, before getting into the passenger seat.

For the first short part of the journey, Ron was afraid to move or breathe for fear of upsetting Draco, making the wound hurt, or waking him. Tears burned in his eyes, however, and he was trembling, one hand under the cloak and flattened over the bandage, the other carefully flat on the seat beside him.

At one point, after his hand had become sticky with Draco's blood, and Draco's skin began heating a little with fever, Draco moaned softly, and Ron flinched.

"Shh," he whispered, though Draco couldn't hear. He touched his face gently. "You're alright now." He cradled Draco's head with his hand, fingers buried in his hair, and listened carefully for the other boy's breathing. It was there, light and soft, uneven, but still there.

"Just breathe," Ron said, aware of the strangeness of it. Usually, Draco had to coax him to breathe, when panic threatened, or pain, or desire.

He leaned down and brushed his lips over Draco's forehead, which was warm with a growing fever.

Draco woke at the light touch, eyelids fluttering and lips parting, just a little. "Ron?" he asked, voice rough. He reached for Ron's hand and Ron took his quickly, stroking the back of it with his thumb.

"Don't, you'll make it bleed more," Ron cautioned, holding his hand tightly.

"It doesn't hurt," Draco scoffed, though a strange, rattling sort of breath echoed in his throat when he swallowed.

"I know it doesn't," Ron said softly, blinking back tears. "You're alright, that's why."

"Too much blood," Draco mumbled, trying to sit up.

Ron held him down. "Don't. Don't move. You're fine."

"Am I dying?" Draco went still, looking up at Ron in the flashing shadows of the streetlights they were driving under.

"No," he said very quietly, his voice cracking.

“I don’t… I don’t want to die,” Draco said, and he sounded completely stunned by that fact.

“Shhh,” Ron whispered. “Don’t be scared, you’re not going to die.”

“No… No, I’m not scared… it’s just… I don’t… don’t want to leave you.

“You won’t, you won’t, I won’t let you go.”

“Is this… this is love. Is this love?” he said faintly, looking startled.

And then Ron started to cry.

"Keep pressure on the wound," Harry snapped from the front seat, and so Ron buried his face in one of his bloodstained hands and pressed down hard with the other, to stop the bleeding. The added pressure made Draco moan again and lose consciousness, and Ron just sobbed harder into his hand.