Sea of Waking Dreams

Sea of Waking Dreams

By Cinnamon

Chapter Sixteen

Through this world I've stumbled
so many times betrayed,
Trying to find an honest word,
to find the truth enslaved,
Oh you speak to me in riddles and
you speak to me in rhymes
My body aches to breathe your breath,
you words keep me alive.

-Possession, Sarah Mclachlan

When Ginny opened her eyes, she was lying in the antechamber of the courtroom, her family clustered worriedly in the doorway, talking softly, and Draco beside her, stroking her face.

“Are you all right?” he asked softly. His voice was trembling.

“The children —”

“Percy said there’s nothing we can do. The memory charms are going to be performed in a moment. He was crying, he really tried. We all tried, Gin.”

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, fighting down nausea. “I keep seeing Fudge in my head,” she whispered. “Standing there in that ugly shirt the night we went to visit him, with the ministry crest behind him, his arm on the mantle with all those stupid trophies and that harp, telling us that it was for the best —”

“Harp?” Draco repeated in a sharp tone. “There was a harp?”

Ginny nodded. “Golden harp,” she reminded him. “It was pretty big.”

Draco’s eyes had suddenly gone very dark. “My father’s hand,” he whispered. “Ginny, did you tell anyone what I told you about my father’s hand? That I cut it off?”

She shook her head. “Not until I told Rita Skeeter.”

“But Fudge knew about it before then!”

“The children must have told him. I don’t see why it matters.” She was feeling weak and dizzy again.

“He didn’t hear it from them. They were too hysterical to say much of anything before we woke up, and Miles said no one had been in to see them except the servant who brought food. No one knew, Gin.”

“So?”

“So, he was there. He saw it! That’s why he’s only insisting on memory charming our children! Because they know! All the things Belle was screaming… she was trying to tell us. She knew! C’mon, we’ve got to hurry and stop him from doing the charm!”

He helped her up from the couch and pulled her from the room, her family too startled to object. “They’ve gone to a chamber upstairs there to do it, we’ve got to get there before they do, because they can’t do it now, now that we know why he’s doing it. He’s trying to erase the evidence of his own betrayal, because it’s much cleaner this way. No bodies to get rid of, no crime to cover. Why didn’t I see it before?”

They were running upstairs and Ginny, who was still too disoriented to understand, whimpered a little, but Draco didn’t pause. He could hear Belle shouting up ahead and followed the sound, bursting into a room at the end of the hall.

The children were clustered together, all except Belle. Fudge had obviously decided to start with her, as she was separated from the group and standing defiantly before the Minister at the other end of the room.

“Belle, come here,” Draco snapped, pulling out his wand. The other children ran towards them, crying, and Ginny gathered them around her.

“Get out of here,” Fudge snarled. “You lost the appeal, you can go to Azkaban for this.”

“She saw you, didn’t she? At the Death Eater camp. You knew all sorts of little details about that night that no one else knew.” Draco watched Fudge carefully, ready to stop him should he make a threatening movement, and Belle was edging away from him.

Mad lights danced in Fudge’s eyes. “You don’t know what you’re talking about,” he snapped.

“You’re one of them. A sellout. A Death Eater. You don’t have to have the mark to be a Death Eater, you know,” Draco snarled. “Sometimes, if you’re not important enough, they don’t give it to you.”

“That’s not why,” Fudge shouted raggedly. “It was so I wouldn’t be caught! You wouldn’t understand! They said they’d kill me if I didn’t!”

“I wouldn’t understand?” Draco challenged silkily.

“It would have been fine, no one ever had to know, and then that stupid girl came along, claiming to be the Empath. Voldemort made me test her while he waited for news of the attack.”

Belle choked on a sob, hurrying a little closer, trying not to move too fast for fear that Fudge would notice.

“She kept screaming that it was her. The oldest girl. Voldemort told me to make her use her magic. So I took her into one of the tents and —”

Belle started sobbing and she ran the rest of the way, throwing herself in Ginny’s arms. “He’d said I’d been bad and that he was going to punish me,” she sobbed. “If I told anyone, he said he’d kill Keela and the others, and then he made me hurt. He said that he’d only stop if I used my magic, but I don’t have any magic! I lied! But I didn’t say it, I didn’t want him to hurt Lucky, and then he hurt me and made me scream.”

“Shut up!” Fudge screamed. “Stop talking! I told you not to tell! You were bad, and I’ll punish you again!”

Draco may have acted faster, had be not been rooted to the spot, horrified by what Belle had just confessed. He didn’t, however, and Fudge raised his wand, screaming, “Obliviate!”

A quick snake of green lightning flashed towards Belle, the Memory Charm Fudge had prepared to make her forget everything that had happened since Voldemort rose again, right after the Triwizard Tournament.

Ginny saw it coming and screamed, pushing Belle to the side. The little girl fell, and the spell hit Ginny instead, slamming into her chest. She flew backwards, hitting the wall hard enough to crack it, and the children screamed. Draco didn’t waste time. He waved his wand and shouted, “Petrificus Totalus!” and Fudge fell to the ground, his entire body stiff.

Ginny slipped slowly to the ground, and Draco could hear people running, coming to see what the screaming was about. The children were hysterical, but all of that sounded as if it came from very far away, because all that mattered to him was Ginny, crouched on the floor in front of him, her eyes wide and oddly glazed, glancing around like a cornered animal.

He knelt before her. “Ginny, are you all right?” he said very gently, reaching for her hand.

She jerked back. “Don’t touch me, Malfoy,” she sneered.

Draco flinched. “Ginny, Ginny, no, you don’t forget, you can’t forget,” he begged.

A crowd suddenly burst into the room, Ron leading the way, and Ginny leapt to her feet, throwing herself into his arms and bursting into tears. “Ron, Ron, have they found them yet?” she asked.

Ron instinctively hugged her. “Found who?” he asked her.

“Harry and Cedric,” she said, pulling away and shooting him a confused look. “Why? Is someone else missing?”

And Draco had the sudden, horrible feeling that he was about to be sick.

***

“Oliver.”

He glanced up. Harry stood framed in the doorway, looking, if possible, more pale and shaken than before. Oliver smiled at him. “Hi.”

“Can I come in?”

“Of course.” Oliver glanced around, wincing a little. His room, as usual, was a mess. With an efficient movement, he knocked a stack of books off the other chair before the hearth and gestured for Harry to come in. Harry did, sitting nervously.

Oliver watched him, waiting for him to speak, but he didn’t. Conjuring up two mugs of butterbeer, Oliver handed him one and sat back patiently.

Finally, Harry sucked in a deep breath through clenched teeth. “What did you mean?” he asked.

Oliver’s lips twisted in an amused smile. “When?”

“You said earlier that you figured ‘it’ out a long time ago. What… what was ‘it’?”

Oliver sighed, setting his mug aside. “I think you already know.”

Harry nodded distractedly. He ran a hand through his hair and looked away, frustration on his face. “But what does it mean? Any of this? Yesterday, in the water, I wasn’t even thinking, it was just… just…”

“Instinct?” Oliver asked gently.

“Yes!” Harry cried.

Leaving his chair, Oliver wandered to the window. It faced out of the west wall, the huge dark forest stretching off into the distance. He didn’t know what to say because there had been a bit of disgust in Harry’s voice.

Harry took another shaky breath and approached him cautiously. “Oliver, I didn’t mean it like that,” he said quietly.

“I know,” Oliver replied with an easy shrug. He turned around. “But how did you mean it?”

Harry reached out and touched Oliver’s chest lightly, his fingertips just barely brushing his shirt, so he could feel Oliver’s beating heart. It was going even faster than Harry’s was. “I don’t know,” he whispered, glancing up at Oliver’s face. “But I don’t want to be scared anymore. Whatever it is, I don’t want to be scared.”

Oliver took his hand and lifted it off his chest, inspecting it in the flickering firelight. He let it drop, and then lifted his eyes to Harry’s face. “Don’t look so terrified, Harry,” he chided with a wry smile. “I’m not going to jump on you and ravage you, you know.”

Harry winced with a weary smile. “Sorry. Yeah. I know.”

Oliver was at a loss as to what to do next. He didn’t want to move incase it startled Harry, but he certainly couldn’t see standing here until it was dark outside, which wouldn’t take that long, really. The sun was already sinking. Finally, he cleared his throat quietly and asked, “Harry, do you want me to kiss you again?” After all, you didn’t become one of the best Quidditch players in the world by being subtle.

Harry’s eyes widened and he took an instinctive step back. “That’s just it. I don’t know.”

“Well, shall we try it and see?” Oliver couldn’t help being gently amused.

“I-I guess.”

It wasn’t all that confidence inspiring, and Oliver tilted his head to the side and considered for a moment. Finally, carefully, he stepped closer, watching as Harry’s eyes slid nervously to his lips and then flicked away carefully. “It’s easy,” he said gently. “Don’t be scared.”

“I’m not,” Harry lied.

Oliver nodded, stepping even closer, one of his hands lifting to rest on Harry’s shoulder, partially to keep him from running, and partially to hold himself up. Though he refused to show it, he was nervous as hell.

Harry licked his lips, a purely self-conscious gesture, and before he had time to rethink this and change his mind, Oliver tilted his head a bit and pressed his mouth over Harry’s. His lips were parted a little bit, but he didn’t move to deepen the kiss or make it anymore than a nearly chaste brushing of lips.

Harry was trembling, and he took a shaky breath, stepping a little closer and turning his head in the other direction. His lips slid across Oliver’s with the movement, fitting more perfectly against his, and Oliver shivered slightly. It was Harry who deepened the kiss a few seconds later, when he couldn’t stand the slight pressure of it and wanted more, his hands slipping lightly, nervously, up Oliver’s chest, stopping there so Harry could feel Oliver’s heartbeat. He parted his lips a tiny bit, his tongue touching Oliver’s lip hesitantly, uncertainly. Oliver’s breath caught, and very gently, he returned the gesture, his tongue slipping just inside Harry’s mouth, not wanting to scare him.

His confidence inspired by the mere fact that Oliver didn’t seem to think this was wrong at all, Harry’s hand slipped up to rest on the side of Oliver’s face, and he opened his mouth wider, his tongue pushing inside Oliver’s mouth, grazing his teeth. Oliver moaned softly and pressed even closer, his tongue moving against Harry’s and then following it back into Harry’s mouth, stroking it and then sucking his lower lip into his mouth, nibbling lightly. Harry’s heart was beating very quickly and he was having trouble breathing. Oliver took his hand, lacing his fingers with Harry’s own, even as he tilted his head the other way, delicious friction making Harry’s knees weak. Oliver was kissing him thoroughly now, tasting him and exploring nearly every inch of his mouth with his tongue, and Harry forgot to wonder if it was right or wrong because anything that felt as achingly sweet as that did couldn’t be wrong.

Oliver pulled away slowly, his eyes fluttering open. He took a deep breath, inspecting Harry’s flushed face with a rather nervous smile. “Sorry,” he breathed. “I got rather carried away.”

Harry swallowed shakily. “I think… I think I had better sit down,” he whispered. His legs had gone so weak that he was worried he’d melt to the floor.

Oliver grabbed his arm quickly, guiding him back to his chair, and Harry collapsed weakly into it, still rather dazed. “You’re all right, aren’t you, Harry? I mean, I didn’t scare you, did I? I didn’t mean for it to be like that, I—”

Harry took a long drink of butterbeer and then smiled shakily. “Oliver… I rather…liked it,” he said carefully. He felt his face heat with something that could only be a fiery blush, and he scowled a little.

Oliver sat back with an intensely relieved expression. “Oh,” he sighed. “Oh, good. Good then.” He smiled.

Harry glanced at the fire and then back at Oliver. “But I don’t love you.”

Oliver looked confused. “Of course you don’t, Harry, no one falls in love after two kisses, that’s just not how it works. Only the very lucky are in love at the beginning of a relationship.” His face suddenly went very pale. “Not that this is a relationship! I mean, if you wanted it to be, it can be, I mean, I’d like that, but if you don’t, I certainly didn’t mean to imply that just because we kissed, we had to have a relationship, it’s just that—”

“Oliver,” Harry interrupted, exasperated.

Oliver stopped talking, looking frustrated. “Sorry.”

Oliver’s hand was resting on the arm of his chair, and Harry reached over and took it hesitantly, lacing his fingers through Oliver’s almost experimentally. It fit there perfectly, and he smiled a little. He had rather thought that it would.

***

There were whispers, and Ginny kept her eyes closed, letting them wash over her. Maybe they’d explain just what was going on.

“The Minister of Magic? In league with Voldemort?”

“The rest of the Minstry’s gathering evidence even now, they’ve got him in custody.”

“But Dumbledore, what about Ginny? What’s to be done?”

“You know as well as I do how tricky these things are. We’ll have to be very careful.”

A pause, and then quietly, “And Draco? Is he all right?”

“No one seems to know where he is.”

There was silence, and Ginny finally opened her eyes, squinting at the two figures in the doorway. The headmaster and the Defense Against the Dark Arts professor from last year. She vaguely remembered the chaos of the courthouse, everyone was screaming and shouting and cameras were flashing, and Malfoy was just staring at her like she’d just slapped him. Ron had showed up, and he had hugged her, and then she had started to cry because nothing was making sense. There were screaming children trying to hug her and she kept flinching away but they wouldn’t stop, and then the headmaster had appeared and cast a sleep spell on her. And now she was in a room at the Leaky Cauldron.

“Headmaster,” she called, with a little smile.

Dumbledore turned to her with a soft smile. “Ginny! You’re awake, then? How are you feeling?”

Both he and Lupin had approached her, and Ginny began to worry. “Is something wrong? Harry, is Harry all right?

“Ginny,” Dumbledore said gently, “what’s the last thing you remember?”

“Why do people keep asking me that?” she asked petulantly.

“There’s been an accident,” Dumbledore explained.

“The last thing I remember is Harry, going into the maze. He never came out, Professor Dumbledore. Is he all right?”

Dumbledore looked grim. “He’s fine,” he said to her, turning to Lupin.

“Voldemort’s physical form was raised that night. The night Voldemort physically rose. He’s destroyed everything after that.”

Lupin took Ginny’s hand. “Don’t worry,” he told her soothingly. “Everything will be fine. We’ll fix this.” He didn’t sound sure of that.

“Fix what?” she whimpered, starting to cry. “Where’s my mum? I want to see her.”

“In the hall,” Dumbledore said. “We’ll send her in. Come on, Lupin.”

They left the room quietly, sending Molly in after warning her about Ginny’s condition. Her father and all her brothers crowded around him, and before they could begin their questions, Dumbledore raised a hand for silence.

“Ginny’s memory has been erased,” he said. “But we will do what we can to reverse the spell. Memory charms are tricky things, delicate to reverse without lasting damage, but I swear to you, I will do what I can. There is nothing more really to say.”

“What about Draco?” Charlie asked softly. “And the children?”

“You may rest assured that they are safe. Now that Fudge has been removed from office and is under investigation, his orders regarding the memory charms have been overruled.”

“And Draco?” Ron asked.

Dumbledore looked grim. “No one has seen him since the courthouse this afternoon,” he confessed.

“I’ll look for him,” Ron promised.

“He may not want to be found,” Dumbledore said softly.

“He needs to be found,” Ron snapped. “We can hardly fix this without his help.

”

Dumbledore nodded thoughtfully. “Look for him then, it can’t hurt.”

Ron grunted his approval at having been given something to do, and left quickly, stepping into Diagon Alley. The sun had just set and there were only a few members of the press left hanging around, and they didn’t even bother to surround him. The story, after all, was over.

Ron set off down the street, resolving to check all the pubs he could find. If he were Draco, he’d want to get drunk after the day he’d had.

Draco wasn’t in a pub, however, and Ron started to grow worried as he stepped out of the last one. As a last effort, he made his way back to the courthouse.

By the silver light of the moon, he could see Draco sitting on the steps, leaning back against a pillar, his eyes closed. Ron remembered it was exactly where Ginny had sat when he’d brought her the kitten.

“Draco,” he called quietly, taking the stairs two at a time and then sitting beside him. “Are you all right?”

Draco opened his eyes and Ron was startled. They were so dark and cold, almost as they had been before he and Ginny had ever become friends. “Leave me alone,” he said wearily.

“I can’t,” Ron said with a shrug. “Ginny would kill me if she knew that I’d left you alone when you were hurt like this.”

“Ginny doesn’t care what happens to me,” he spat bitterly. “Ginny thinks I’m a fourteen year old prat who likes to make her cry.”

Ron felt a flash of annoyance but restrained it. “Yeah, maybe now she does, but she’ll never get over it if you don’t help us reverse the spell. She doesn’t remember anything, it’s not that she’s just forgetting you. She doesn’t know what’s going on, she wants to know where she is and how she got there and why everyone looks so much older. We need your help to reverse this, Malfoy.”

“I researched Memory charms, Weasley, they’re not reversible, and even in the rare occasion when they are, they leave the victim worse off than before the spell was reversed at all.”

“We have to try,” Ron snapped. “If you loved her at all, you’d tried.”

“I can’t even stand to look at her!” Draco shouted. His voice was harsh with rage. “She looks at me like I’m nothing!”

Ron gritted his teeth and said slowly, “If it was you, and you had forgotten everything, she wouldn’t leave your side for anything, no matter how many times you tried to make her cry. Love isn’t about hiding when things get bad, it’s about being patient and trying to make them right again.”

Draco buried his face in his hands. He was breathing heavily. “But she doesn’t even remember,” he whimpered, and Ron flinched. Hearing Draco that weak hurt him nearly as badly as seeing his sister the way she was now.

“The children do,” he said coldly. “They remember, but Ginny’s forgotten them. You know what I heard Miles say? ‘I told you sometimes grownups forget to come back for you’. And he wasn’t talking about Ginny, either, because even the children are being more understanding than you are! He was talking about you, because the children have convinced themselves that the only reason you aren’t there is that you never really loved them, you only wanted Ginny, and now that she’s broken, you’ve left.”

“Maybe that’s the way it is,” Draco growled.

“It’s not and you know it! If you were that stupid, I would never have let you fall for Ginny in the first place! Stop being stupid, I didn’t know it was a trait Malfoys were very proud of, and get back to the Leaky Cauldron and at least reassure the children that you haven’t abandoned them the way you’ve abandoned my sister.” With that, Ron stalked away into the darkness, and Draco watched him go, a pain deeper than any he’d ever known snaking through him and making him tremble.

He couldn’t go back. Knowing that the thing he needed more than any other no longer existed to the only person he’d ever wanted to share it with burned worse than anything he’d ever known.

***

Ginny’s bedroom was dark, and Draco was afraid she was asleep. He paused in the doorway and was about to turn away when he realized she was crying.

Swearing softly, he moved quickly to her bed. “It’s all right,” he said soothingly. The crying stopped, and he could see that she’d lifted her head, though it was too dark to see much else.

“Who are you?” she asked in a trembling voice.

Draco flinched. He reached towards her, running his fingers through her hair. “No one,” he said raggedly.

She took a deep breath, leaning instinctively into his hand. “Then what are you doing here?”

“I don’t know,” Draco whispered. He pulled his wand out of his pocket and used it to start a fire in the hearth.

When Ginny saw it was him, she pulled away quickly. “What are you doing in here?” she hissed. “I didn’t even recognize your voice, you sounded older. Everyone sounds older.”

“Are you all right?”

She was breathing so heavily and quickly that Draco was afraid she was going to hyperventilate. “No, no, I’m not,” she growled. “I’m scared, and something big’s happened and no one’ll tell me what it is, and I’m worried something’s happened to Harry and they just don’t want to tell me.”

“You… you like Harry, don’t you?” Draco asked shakily.

Ginny scowled. “Are you talking about that Valentine I sent him? Because I don’t like him anymore and you should really stop teasing me about that.”

Draco swallowed thickly and smiled. “All right. I will.”

She looked suspicious. “You will? Why?”

“I owe you that at least.”

“Why are you being nice to me?”

“Ginny,” he asked desperately. “Don’t you remember anything?”

“I…” she trailed off, looking nervous. “Like what? I remember the third challenge, and then everyone went mad because Harry and Cedric went missing…” she suddenly looked stricken. “Oh no, Hermione! Does she know about Harry yet?”

“Ginny, listen to me, all right? Will you listen?” Draco’s voice was very gentle. He sat down on the side of the bed, and her eyes narrowed thoughtfully. She didn’t look suspicious anymore, just curious.

“Why should I listen to you, Malfoy?”

He closed his eyes. “Because I’ve got something to say, Weasley,” he replied in a weary tone. He opened his eyes. “You’ve got to remember. I know you don’t understand what I’m talking about, but there’s been a terrible accident and you’ve been hit with a charm meant for someone else. A Memory Charm.”

Her eyes widened. “Like Professor Lockhart?”

“Yes.”

She looked horrified. “But… but I remember everything! It haven’t forgotten a thing! You’re lying, trying to make me cry again, Malfoy, and it’s disgusting —”

He lost his patience and kissed her, hard, trying to force her to remember. He held her with one hand around her wrist, the other tangled in her hair at the base of her skull, tilting her head upwards and holding her still. His lips bruised hers and, desperate, he pushed his tongue into her mouth. She was too shocked to fight at first, and even almost instinctively returned the kiss. Draco’s grip loosened and he pressed closer, his hand slipping down her back.

Ginny stiffened and jerked away with a gasp. “What are you doing?” she shrieked. “If you ever, ever touch me again, my brothers will kill you!”

Draco pulled back as if she’d slapped him. He was breathing heavily, desperately, and he stood up, running trembling hands through his hair. “How could you leave me like this?” he snarled, pacing the room in fury. Ginny shrank back, whimpering in fear. “You said you loved me, and then you go and do this? It isn’t fair, Ginny, I won’t have it! It’s not right!”

“M-Malfoy,” she cried. “I don’t understand.”

She sounded so terrified that Draco froze. “Oh shit,” he mumbled. “Of course you don’t. I’ve got to get out of here. I’m so sorry…” he reached out to touch her face and she flinched.

Draco scowled and left the room, slamming the door behind him.

Dumbledore was staying in room eleven and Draco knocked angrily on the door. When it was opened a moment later, Dumbledore, who had been getting ready for bed, did not look surprised to see him, and Draco pushed by him.

“I want to forget,” he snarled. “I don’t want to remember anything, because if falling in love is supposed to end like this, then I want nothing to do with it.”

“What are you asking me to do, Mr. Malfoy?” Dumbledore asked softly.

“It worked for her, didn’t it? Do a Memory Charm on me. Take it away so it doesn’t hurt anymore. Make me forget all about her. Don’t take the children though. I-I’ll take them with me to Malfoy Manor and take care of them and Ginny can go home with her sodding family and we’ll never have to see each other again.” He was breathing so heavily that he was nearly sobbing.

“Draco, don’t lose hope,” Dumbledore cautioned. “I know it’s hard, but the very nature of love is never giving up. There is a chance we can reverse this.”

“She doesn’t care if we reverse it or not! She doesn’t remember anything! She hates me! I don’t want this!”

“No one ever does want love when it gets hard, but are you willing to give up all your sweet memories of her because it hurts to remember now? And what of the children? Would you have me wipe her out of their memories after fighting so hard to make sure that never happened?”

“It’s hard,” Draco whimpered, feeling like a little boy.

“Of course it’s hard! Love’s always hard! But never hopeless. Never.”

“I’ve got to go,” Draco mumbled, pushing his way out of the room. “I’ve got to see the children.”

Dumbledore nodded and wished him a solemn good night and then Draco left the room, closing the door behind him. Charlie was waiting in the hallway, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed over his chest.

“Don’t bother,” Draco said shortly. “I don’t need to hear you gloat. You got your way, she doesn’t want me anymore.”

“You think that’s what I came here to say?” Charlie asked lazily.

“What else would there be to say?”

“Only that you’re being a prat. Honestly, she’s still Ginny, who you claimed to love. So she doesn’t remember you. You made her fall in love with you once, do it again. Even if we can’t fix this, things could be worse. She could be dead.” With an easy shrug, he walked away, and Draco scowled fiercely at him until he was out of sight.