The Code Book of Men

The Code Book of Men

Many words could be used to describe Ron Weasley. He's a Man's man. He's as "male" (as Hermione put it) as one could be. He has always been proud of the fact that no one could question his masculinity. And in being so 'male', he's a lot of things, but stupid isn't one of them. Sure, he could be absentminded, forgetful, and even a bit thick sometimes. But stupid? Never.

Growing up with five other brothers taught you a bit about how men did things. Don't pick up after yourself (pretend you didn't notice it), check. Don't talk about feelings, check. Hide away thoughts that others don't need to know (lest they ridicule you for years), check. So he considered it his duty as a friend and flat mate to help Harry out, as he seemed to have forgotten the basic rules of the Code Book of Men. In fact, Ron had noticed so many of Harry's 'broken' rules, he wanted to have a talk with him to straighten him out. And he was going to do it. Really! He was. Right after the football game.

"Ron," Harry asked in an exasperated tone, "you know we have to leave for our annual Auror training in Brighton tomorrow, right?"

Ron answered, "Uh, yeah."

Harry's hands flew into the air and he started pacing the floor in front of the telly, blocking view from the couch where Ron was lounging, before wailing, "Perhaps you can explain to me, then, why your laundry isn't done, there are dishes in the sink, there are food wrappings all over the coffee table, the bathroom's an absolutely disgusting..."

Ron, confused at how quickly Harry was getting upset, started to tune him out only to hear, "...and none of your clothes ever match, so I don't know how you'll find something appropriate to wear! Seriously, how are you going to be ready tomorrow?"

Ron gaped at his friend as suddenly all of the pieces of the puzzle started to fit together. Harry was gay. Harry was GAY! Ron started seeing the writing on the wall as he remembered all the years of Harry not dating because of the 'war' with YKW. All of the family holidays and parties that he attended stag because the 'girl-of-the-hour', as the Weasley men had started calling them--with a bit of envy at the sheer number of them, couldn't attend. All the nights Harry sat with Hermione when she and Ron were fighting because 'she needed someone to talk to'. Harry was gay.

"Ron. Ron! Are you even listening to me? Now I know what Hermione means when she says..." Harry went off again.

"You're gay," Ron half whispered. As he looked at Harry and the proverbial light began to shine he loudly repeated, "You're gay!"

Harry stopped mid-sentence to stare at his best friend of ten years. His face literally drained from angry red, to scared white. "What? You have no proof of that. What are you talking about?"

"All that time you've been spending with that poof, Draco! I mean I always just thought he had no other friends," Ron snorted. "But...wait, is Draco your boyfriend?"

"My boyfriend? What? No!" Harry screeched, just a little too emphatically. "We're just friends. We've been friends since his help seventh year--you know that. Well, except for that one Valentine's Day when he was so lonely..."

Ron's eyes grew larger and larger as Harry rattled on, apparently forgetting his quite straight, quite masculine and maybe a bit homophobic mate was sitting in front of him. Harry didn't seem to have noticed Ron's shocked state.

But as he spoke, Ron's mind had traveled to its next destination. "But Malfoy is here a lot. It's rubbed off on you, right mate? You're not really..."

"Wh...what...? He has most certainly never rubbed off on me" Harry stuttered. "Well, there was that one time when we were drunk on New Years Eve, but..."

Ron tried to wrap his head around it. 'My best friend is gay. I know a gay man. Two if you count Malfoy, but he can hardly be considered a man, the great poof. Although Harry spends a lot of time with him! Wait; if he's a poof, what is Harry? This is why I need Hermione here. She'd know...'

"...And I know his skin is so soft and he works out so much that his body is rock hard, but that doesn't mean I am attracted to him. To men--that I am attracted to men," Harry continued, oblivious to Ron's disregard.

And as both men got lost in their own thoughts, it was clear that Ron Weasley was many things, but stupid wasn't one of them.