Hermione Granger and The Secret Fire

Chapter 19-Save me

Hermione walked into her Transfiguration class on Monday and, for the first time in a long time, she didn't know where to sit. Misten had walked out on her in the library the day before and was sitting with Ron and Harry. She didn't even look up as they said hello to Hermione.

Draco was sitting on the Slytherin side of the classroom and was ignoring her completely, not that she could have sat with him even if they had been speaking. The fact that he didn't even look in her direction reinforced Hermione's thought that he was simply playing with her emotions. He was laughing at some comment Pansy said and didn't look like he was upset at all about the row he had with his supposed girlfriend. This detail made Hermione's heart break.

With a sigh of dissatisfaction, Hermione took the seat next to Seamus.

"Good morning, Hermione!" Seamus said with a goofy grin. "I heard you're at odds with some of your mates after this weekend. Well come snuggle up to Dean and me and we'll take care of you." Seamus threw his arms around Hermione and gave her side a bear hug.

Hermione was angry at his words because she knew Misten must have said something to the Irish lad, otherwise he wouldn't have known. But, she then realized she deserved to be talked about since she had been unnecessarily cruel to her friend. She hoped Misten only talked about their row, however, and not the other she had with Draco.

"Thanks, I think," was Hermione's reply.

"Besides," Dean said, reaching his body over the desk so he could get past Seamus to see Hermione, "we could use your brain on the project we're doing today. I heard from the Hufflepuffs that we have to transfigure unfertilized dragon eggs into a hat. I guess they had some trouble with it last week because if you didn't do it right, it'd blast hot air once it was on your head. Peggy Klein's hair still hasn't grown back!"

Hermione gulped at the thought of having to transfigure anything with the state of mind she was in at the present moment. 'Why couldn't it have been a non-practicum day?'

Professor McGonagall entered the classroom and began writing notes on the board. Hermione settled in for a long day in class.

~*~

The week didn't get any better. Before she knew it, Friday night came and Hermione found herself, alone, in the library doing revisions. The week seemed to fly by, yet drag at the same time.

Hermione realized Draco was avoiding her as much as she was avoiding him. The few times they had run into each other, a very fast, angry look was all that passed between them. Thankfully, neither seemed to want to talk about what had happened.

Harry stopped by when he saw her at her usual table on his way to look up information for his Charms essay. He said he wanted to talk about Misten, which made Hermione's stomach roll in dread. He had heard from some of the younger years that she and the other Gryffindor had gotten into an argument over the last weekend. Hermione explained what had happened, even sharing the part about Draco. Harry listened the entire time and didn't interrupt her.

"I am speechless," he said as she finished her tale. "Not that I want you to get back together with him or anything, Hermione, but I think Misten is right and you need to talk to Draco."

Hermione sucked in a breath in surprise. "Why, Harry? Why should I even bother?"

Harry looked his friend in the eye and said, "Hermione, you have to think about all the things he has done this year to prove to you that he has changed. You even convinced me that he's changed. He would not have come with you to confront your friends if he didn't have any true feelings for you. We're talking about Malfoy; a slimy Slytherin. What is the trait the Sorting Hat looks for before placing anyone into that house? Self-preservation above all else. If he was only concerned with himself, about preserving himself, he would have never walked into a room of Gryffindors to support you in your choice of a boyfriend."

"But he hasn't even bothered to tell the other Slytherins about our relationship. He acts like I have the plague in front of them," Hermione defended herself.

Harry looked at her incredulously as if he could believe that his brainy friend, the one Sirius had called 'the brightest witch in her year' was being so clueless. "Telling them about you would be suicide, no offense. Those people, the ones who are into self-preservation, wouldn't think twice about tattling to Daddy Malfoy about what his naughty boy was doing while at school. They would jump at the chance if they thought they could get ahead by throwing Draco under the bus. Telling him could get them ahead and cut off any competition from their biggest rival."

Hermione thought about what Harry had said, long after he left. It made sense, but she was still unsure. Sitting there, she decided she was going to have to make peace with her Gryffindor friend before trying to break the Ice Prince of Slytherin. It sounded like a wonderful plan for tomorrow.

~*~

When Hermione returned to her suite late that night, she was surprised to find the fire roaring with life as if someone had just been in the room. All the torches were lit and the room looked like it had been occupied just a moment ago. Hermione cleaned up the room and got ready for bed. When she tried to use the lavatory, she found it locked and could hear Draco moving about in the room.

'Was he downstairs before I walked in? Is that why it was so bright and warm? Why didn't he stay there instead off running to hide in his room?' she thought as she lay down on her bed and got comfortable as she waited to get into the lavatory. 'He must be trying to avoid me.'

Hermione's mind drifted as she began to think of what she could possibly say to him to get a conversation going. How was she even going to begin to talk to him when he ran away from her or into the company of the Slytherins whenever she entered a room?

Hermione closed her eyes, and was quickly asleep.

She was walking down a hallway somewhere in Hogwarts. It was very cold in the hall and she thought she should find the open window to shut it. As she walked, she looked up at the portraits and realized they were filled with her classmates. Several were pointing and laughing at her while others seemed to be running to the frames to be able to gossip about what she was doing.

As hard as she tried, she could not make out what they were saying to each other. They almost seemed to be speaking a different language, one that she was not privy to. She began to walk faster trying to find the open window that was letting air in now that was so cold it was causing her to shiver.

She walked past an empty classroom and she heard, "Psst. Hermione, come in here."

She opened the door to find Harry and Misten sitting at a table with Professors Snape, McGonagall and Dumbledore. They invited her to have a seat and started an inquisition.

"What, exactly, were you doing last Saturday afternoon, the 27^th of November?" asked Professor Snape. "And why are you trying to destroy two of the most important relationships in your life?"

Hermione looked between her friends for some explanation as to what was going on. Neither would look her in the eye.

"Are you responsible for the current state of mind of the Head boy, Draco Malfoy?" Professor McGonagall asked.

"What are your intentions by not only accusing him of not caring, but also by ignoring his fragile mental and emotional status?" Professor Dumbledore asked.

Hermione felt the panic begin to rise as she realized her friends must have told the three Professors about her row with Draco that week. The fact that they knew scared her because it meant more people were talking about her mistakes than she wanted. She couldn't even be angry with her friends because she was too terrified with the thought that her errors were being brought up to three of the people she wanted to impress with her intelligence the most. Harry seemed to be in some sort of a trance and just nodded through the questions. Misten was working on her letter, and refused to look up at Hermione. This fact prompted her to respond with, "But I made amends with Misten. I am trying to fix the problems I have created."

Just as the professors were about to ask their next set of questions, Ron opened a door behind them and entered the room. "Why have you been ignoring us, Hermione? Harry and I have been your friends for seven years and we don't ever get to see you or talk to you anymore."

"I am trying, Ron, I really am. I have so many duties and..." Hermione began.

"Enough!" Lucius Malfoy said, entering the room from the same door as Ron. "No one here wants to listen to the petty excuses from a Mudblood. No one here cares about your pathetic life. I cannot believe my son, my one and only heir, would waste his time with you. His weakness will not go unpunished. I hope you remember the fact that you have caused him all of the physical pain and torture I have planned for him."

"But wait," Hermione said, standing and trying to get the people in the room to hear her, " I am working on resolving all of this. If you could just give me a few more days, I am sure..."

"A few more days?" Professor Dumbledore interrupted, "Does Voldemort give 'a few more days' to those he wishes to kill? Do our instructors give 'a few more days' when you are working on a project and it is not completed on time? Why should we give you a few more days when we have already given you a week? You have failed this test, Miss Granger."

"But sirs, I have tried as hard as I could and I..." Hermione started.

Lucius rolled his eyes and slammed his cane down on the floor, a noise that reverberated through the large, empty room. "I have had enough of this filthy child. Let me dispose of her my way before anyone else can be hurt by her stupidity."

To Hermione's shock, her Professors nodded their agreement. Hermione tried to appeal to her friends, but they ignored her cries. Just as Lucius Malfoy raised his want to curse her, Hermione screamed out loud and awoke.

Drenched in sweat and tangled in her sheets from writhing in them, Hermione sat up and realized it was just a dream. She immediately began to shake uncontrollably and tried to calm her breathing and her heart that seemed to be ready to pound its way out of her chest.

After what seemed like forever, she felt strong enough to climb out of bed and go into the lavatory to splash her face with water. She padded around the room and was very grateful when she could climb back into bed.

Her last sad and lonely thought before going back to sleep was, 'this is the first nightmare I have had this year where Draco did not come in my room to wake me.'

~*~

Walking into the Gryffindor tower on Saturday afternoon had never felt more like going home. Even though it was three weeks until Christmas Break, Hagrid had brought up a tree and the younger years were busily decorating it with ornaments and strung popcorn. They were singing carols and seemed to be having a ball.

Ron, Harry, Seamus, Ginny, Neville, Dean and Misten were all sitting on the couches furthest away from the tree. All were involved in one game or another, Exploding Snap or Wizard's Chess. And all were busy entertaining each other with their stellar playing skills, except Misten.

Misten sat on the floor with her back up against the wall and it appeared, to Hermione at least, that she was trying to write a letter. Her emotions were written across her face and she was trying, partly in vain, to ignore those around her, only smiling and nodding when they tried to include her.

Standing just inside the portrait, but still out of the view of most, Hermione smiled at the scene in front of her. Her friends were having a great time with each other. It was bittersweet, really, with the war raging and graduation just six months away. Hermione felt bad that she had been so caught up in her own world; Head girl, dating Draco, N.E.W.Ts... She had forgotten to act like the carefree kid that she was supposed to be. Although if she were being honest, Harry, Ron and she had never had the chance to be carefree. Voldemort had stolen that right from them many times over.

"Hermione! Come out of the dark and join the game!" Ron bellowed from his spot on the couch. "Ginny could use some female power on her side."

Ginny smacked her brother's arm, with the strength of any good little sister and said, "Yeah, come on, Hermione."

Hermione smiled and said, "In a minute, okay? I need to speak with Misten."

As her name was being said, Misten looked up. She stared at Hermione for a moment before saying, "Let's go up to my room."

Hermione had to smile being brought into the 7^th year girls' dorm in Gryffindor tower. She knew that this could have been her room this year, but was glad that the roommates had welcomed in Misten.

Misten put her quill and stationary down on her desk as Hermione pulled herself up onto her friend's bed. It felt so warm and inviting in the dorm; so right. Hermione's smile faltered as she thought about what might have been. Logically she had everything she always wanted. She was Head Girl, she was doing very well in all of her classes and she was right on schedule with preparing for N.E.W.Ts, and, supposedly, she had a female best friend and a boyfriend. As good a student as she was, as smart and logical and clever as everyone said, she had blown it with two of the most important people in her life.

"Misten, I'm sorry about what I said last Sunday in the library," Hermione began, looking at her friend and hoping she'd forgive her. "It was petty of me to bring up Patrick. I am sure it hurts you that you can't see him or talk to him and me bringing him up was just callous."

Misten held up her hands and opened up her mouth to say something when Hermione continued.

"Misten, please don't be angry with me anymore. I am truly sorry and I want us to be friends again," Hermione implored of her friend.

"Hermione, I was never angry with you. I was...am...disappointed you couldn't see past your own pain to realize you were hurting me, too," the 7^th year Gryffindor explained. "Of course I forgive you. I just wanted you to know that Draco was quite hurt by your words. Have you gotten the chance to talk to him?"

"He won't talk to me. He's avoided me all week. I think...I think I may be just a little bit jealous of your friendship with Draco, because he seems to confide in you a lot easier than he does in me," Hermione's voice softened as she spoke the words and her brows furrowed in her disapproval of herself.

Misten smiled at her words and said, "Hermione, when are you going to see that Draco cares about you more than he cares about anyone else here? He confides more secrets in you than I have and he does it with an open heart. Just because he doesn't say it, doesn't mean he doesn't love you in his own way."

"Do you really think he loves me?" Hermione asked, her tone showing her surprise at the ease in which Misten had said it.

"Um, yeah! He has done everything to show that to you just short of saying the magic words," Misten said sarcastically. Her tone turned more explanatory as she said, "He's a guy, Hermione. He's a Slytherin guy who grew up with the most emotionally cruel, malicious, pitiless man I have ever heard about. His mother wasn't much better, maybe just not as nasty. I am sure he told you about the dark curses, illegal potions, and torture his father made him endure. He told me countless stories of how each morning he woke up more bloodied and bruised than the day before and had to have house elves heal him before he went to breakfast without showing any weakness to his father."

Just as she finished the sentence, Lavender popped into the room and was not kind about leaving it. She and Misten were obviously continuing some previous row as they starting hurtling insults at each other. Their argument gave Hermione time to process what was being said about Draco.

Hermione couldn't help but remember the day back in Professor Dumbledore's office when he had hinted that someone else in the castle knew of Draco's trials. And she remembered when Harry had been accusing Draco of recruiting from within, Misten said, 'You'll just have to trust me when I say that is not even a possibility!' Misten had confessed to knowing more about Draco than she led on, but it took until this moment for Hermione to realize that she had been sending signals. Misten had tried, on several occasions, to let Hermione know she was not alone and that someone was there to help her.

'Smartest witch in my year, my arse,' Hermione thought, giggling to herself. 'How did I miss the clues?'

She also remembered the Headmaster's sage advice; 'Just remember, Miss Granger, sometimes what we think we want is not always what we really do want.' Having Misten advise her on her relationship with Draco made her think about this piece of advice. It still didn't make sense to her. She was glad Misten was there for her! How could it not be what she wanted?

~*~

The remainder of the afternoon was spent playing games in the Gryffindor common room. Hermione let go of all the pain and anger she had felt that week and just played games and reveled in the merriment. She was laughing so hard on several occasions her belly ached. It was just what she needed to relax and put a new perspective on her life.

Dinner came and the entire gang burst into the Great Hall to take their seats. Conversations gathered around who was going to win the next set of games and which team was stronger. It was silly, childish and just plain fun.

Only once did Hermione raise her eyes to look for her suitemate. He was sitting with Parkinson, Nott, Bulstrode, Crabbe and Goyle. The scowl on his face told her he was not enjoying himself and Hermione felt badly that he could not enjoy his old housemates like she did hers. Their group seemed to be bickering with each other and Hermione saw him pound his hand down on the table and tell them to 'knock it off.' Her pleasure in his obvious anger was dampened by the thought that she no longer wanted him to be unhappy.

'Maybe I should talk to him,' Hermione thought.

"...don't you think so, Hermione?" Dean asked, apparently not aware that she was not paying attention.

"Hmmm, what?" she asked, trying to focus on her friend.

Dean repeated what he had been saying to Ron. "I said, that Flitwick's off his rocker on the essay he gave us. It's going to be impossible, don't you think?"

Hermione turned to Dean and nodded slightly, discussing how to go about writing the dreaded essay.

~*~

Monday morning, Hermione walked into the Potions classroom much happier than she had felt the Monday before. She knew she had to "suffer" through Double Potions and transfiguration with the Slytherins, but knowing that she was back in good graces with Misten made all the difference in the world.

Harry, Ron and Neville saved her a seat, however she found herself looking to see where Draco was sitting. He had found a center table and Millicent Bulstrode, Pansy Parkinson, Vincent Crabbe, Greg Goyle and Theodore Nott surrounded him. 'Lucky boy,' Hermione thought and then snorted in response to her own humor.

"What is the greasyold bat going to make us work on today?" Ron said, his eyebrows furrowing in disgust, "I hope it's not some miracle potion that is too hard to understand let alone brew."

"Face it, Ron, if you want to be an Auror you're going to have to know how to produce a miracle," Harry said in mock seriousness.

Ron's grin covered his whole face and he responded, "That's what I have you for, mate. Who needs a miracle when I have you?"

"I just hope we're going to pick our own partners this time, " Neville said, fear creeping into his voice. "Working with Crabbe last time was scary!"

The Gryffindors laughed good-naturedly at their friends comment and nodded in agreement. Hermione, never to be one to let a friend get down on their own school work, whispered, "I am sure you'll do fine, Neville. We'll work together if we get to choose. Your skills have improved greatly from even just a year ago."

"Thanks, Hermione," he said smiling.

Professor Snape entered his classroom from the storage area behind his desk. It never failed to amaze Hermione that one; he was always exactly on time and two; his robes swished in such a way that his whole aura was felt. All seemed to be equally intimidated by just his presence.

"Today we'll be working in pairs on a Wound-Cleaning potion. It should be fairly simple," Professor Snape began, but then turned to look directly at the Gryffindors before adding, "for most of you."

"Easy? He thinks a wound-cleaning potion is easy? What would he consider a hard one?" Ron asked in a stage whisper.

"Ten points from Gryffindor for lack of good judgment, Mr. Weasley," Professor Snape said before turning to the board. "The following ingredients can be found in my reserve cabinet and the directions can be found in your book on page 669. Your partners will be as follows..."

"Oh, please, sir," Millicent Bulstrode screeched out, "we didn't get to choose our partners last time and I know we'll do a much better job if we can work with someone we're comfortable with."

Snape's eyes closed into slits and he responded, "Be that as it may, Miss Bulstrode, I will choose your partners for you and you will do an excellent job or there will be grave consequences."

Hermione was outraged and it took all of her self-control not to yell out. If she had dared to say anything about the partners being chosen ahead of time, she would have definitely lost points and probably also gotten a detention. But if one of the precious Slytherins spoke out in class, all they got was a warning. "That is so unfair!" she whispered.

"Honestly, Hermione, you'd think you'd be used to it by now. Snape has never been known for his equal treatment of the houses," Harry whispered as Millicent continued to argue.

"MISS BULSTRODE! Your partner will be Longbottom. Parkinson and Potter, Malfoy and Granger and Weasley and..."

Hermione's heart nearly stopped when she heard her name called out, partnered with Draco. Her friends turned in sympathy but it was too little, too late.

'How are we going to work together on such a complicated potion when we can't even look at each other?' Hermione thought as she gathered her belongings to make the move across the classroom. 'Gods, I thought this Monday was going to be better than the last. How am I going to survive this? Is Snape that cruel and mean spirited that he'd put us together? Malfoy HAD to have told him what was going on! Why would he partner us?'

Hermione couldn't think of anything but her impending doom.