Harry Potter and the Over-Baked Plot Cookie

Harry Potter and the Over-Baked Plot Cookie
a deliberate parody

Chapter 2 -- It Has Begun

Harry raced back up the stairs to the Gryffindor tower, pausing only long enough to mumble the password ("Singultus!") to the Fat Lady before making for the dormitory at top speed. He unlocked his trunk and, in moments, had added his father's Invisibility Cloak to the bag containing his textbooks. As he hurried down the stairs, he heard behind him the Fat Lady's indignant, "You could let me rest a moment before tearing out of here like a whirlwind!"

Before heading down the final flight of stairs, Harry pulled on the cloak. He checked himself carefully for any visible bits, and at a more sedate pace finished his journey down the stairs and out the front doors. There was no sign of Sirius, but he made his way (fingers crossed) to the edge of the Forbidden Forest, hoping that his godfather had lingered.

The Forest, as its name suggested, was dark and -- well, Forbidding -- even in daylight. Telling himself that he'd faced worse (Voldemort, Voldemort, and ... Voldemort?), Harry squared his skinny shoulders and stepped inside.

"Sirius?" he called softly.

It was some minutes before the black dog appeared from the undergrowth. The dog stopped, sniffed the air -- and transformed into the familiar form of his godfather, who shook his head tolerantly. "Next time, Harry, make yourself visible first. No sense letting everyone know you’ve got that thing."

Realising he still wore the Invisibility Cloak, Harry turned pink. Thankfully, by the time he'd removed it and stowed it once more in his satchel, the colour was all but gone. "Sorry." He looked up at Sirius. "What're you doing back?"

"I could tell you, but I'd have to Obliviate you." The grin made Sirius look years younger, more like the young man Harry remembered from his photo album. He looked much better than he had the year before, the gauntness from Azkaban and his months on the run nearly gone, though his eyes were still haunted. "You didn’t come down here just to ask me that." It wasn't a question.

"Er ... no," admitted Harry. "My scar hurt again this morning."

The grin vanished in a heartbeat. Sirius' eyes narrowed. "Did you dream about Voldemort?"

Harry turned even more pink and scuffed his feet. "Er ... I don't remember."

Silence. Embarrassed, Harry continued to study the ground intently. After a long time, Sirius asked, "Well ... has anything else strange happened?"

'Hermione and Draco this morning? No, I don’t think he means that kind of strange.' But there had been ... "Snape's been ... almost nice lately. To me, I mean. Not to everyone."

For a moment, the haunted expression vanished in the wake of pure shock. "Nice? Snape?" Sirius exclaimed disbelievingly. "Something must be wrong. Unless ..."

“Unless what?”

"He might have learned ..." Sirius paled. "Merlin, I hope not!"

Harry wasn't ordinarily the kind to push his friends into telling him things, but he had the feeling what Sirius wasn't saying was important, somehow. So he persisted: "What?"

The older man swallowed, sighed. "You see ... when your father and I were in school, we didn't get along very well with Snape. Your mother didn't like us much either, for that matter -- at least, not at first. The thing about Lily is, she was the kind of person who was friends with everyone and made everyone feel welcome -- and you know perfectly well Snape ... wasn't. They got to be close," the words were a little rushed, as though he wanted to get them out before he convinced himself not to; it was clear to Harry that Sirius didn't like telling him this.

"You have to understand, House tensions were much worse back then, and the idea of a Gryffindor and a Slytherin being ... friendly ... was unforgivable. It didn't last. When Lily and James started seeing each other, Snape was upset -- to put it mildly. You'd've thought the whole world had betrayed him. I don't know if that's why he started with the Death Eaters, but ... that was the end of it. He went off and sulked, Lily and James got married, and the rest you know."

"That doesn't explain anything," Harry said protestingly. "If he hated my parents, why would he be nice?"

Again, Sirius was silent. After a while, he said reluctantly, "You see ... Snape had this ... thing ... with --" He broke off, clearly disgusted.

"A thing?" Harry blinked, perplexed.

Sirius made a vague gesture. "Thing."

"Oh." Harry went beyond merely pink this time as comprehension dawned. "With who?" 'Please, please, please, don’t let it be you.'

"Well ..." The frown on Sirius' face deepened for a moment before his face cleared, that disarming grin returning. "Well, I have more plot exposition, but you're going to be late for class, so run along." And with that, he turned back into the great black dog and padded up the steps of Hogwarts, doubtless heading for Lupin’s classroom. Harry stared after him for a long minute, utterly confused, before shrugging and following his godfather up the stairs back into the school. No matter what, it seemed classes went on.

Author Notes: Huzzah, we have part two! It's a bit short, but I promise subsequent chapters will have something more substantial. Come back next time for *gasp* actual plot!

Translation Notes: Singulutus - according to my Latin dictionary, this means "hiccup". Ilana may be blamed.

Thanks to those who reviewed the first chapter: AmethystPhoenix, BookWoman, D2Diamond, EowynJade, Firesword, FlameofPhoenix, hasapi, Lillies and Remains, Lissa22, Sai du Chickens, timeturner, and anyone we may have missed!
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