Mist and Vapors

Ten minutes before he was supposed to appear in Hannah's quarters to escort her to his aunt's cottage, Severus Snape sat on the side of his bed, lacing up his better pair of boots and having a severe case of second thoughts.

The closer the day had come, the more he had regretted extending the invitation. Taking her to dinner with his family on a holiday would invite a certain interpretation. An interpretation that would, of course, be wholly justified.

He should not have invited her without talking to her first. At first, he had not known if telling her was even relevant. Then, he had waited for the right moment to tell her, but that moment had never come. Most days, he had simply been too tired to face up to another conversation with an uncertain outcome.

Having finished with a precise knot, he sat up straight, staring at the blank wall in front of him. He would be asking much of her, more than he had a right to - he could only hope that he wasn't asking too much...

Whatever the case, it was too late now to change his mind about the visit. He stood up with a sigh, took his cloak off the hook, and made sure the wards were in place. Time to go.

.-.-.-.-.

"Absolutely not." Hannah stood, arms resolutely folded across her chest. "Why can't we Floo?"

Severus looked at her impatiently. "I don't trust the Ministry, and they are monitoring the external Floo network. I would rather keep the fact that I am going to see my mother as much a secret as possible."

"Then how about a Portkey? You've done that before." Her mouth was set firmly.

"Unlike then, I am perfectly well now, and the weather is as good as can be expected this time of year. I see absolutely no reason to break the law again." He spoke with exasperated slowness. Surely she would see reason.

The expression on her face had turned to pleading. "Please, Severus, I just can't."

"I can't say that I understand the problem."

"It...it'll feel horrible. I've heard people describe it."

"It certainly doesn't feel all that much worse than taking a Portkey, and you handled that well enough."

"Have you ever heard about random body parts being left behind when anyone uses a Portkey?" she asked, a note of belligerence in her voice.

"No, but..."

"I rest my case," she interrupted him, lips firmly pressed together.

Severus ran a hand over his neck in exasperation. She was being completely unreasonable. Side-Along Apparition with a trained wizard was no more dangerous than taking a Portkey.

"Do you not trust me?" he demanded.

"It's not that; if I'd go with anyone, I'd go with you, but..." she trailed off miserably, a quiver in her voice. "Severus, I can't..."

Looking down at the bundle of dejected humanity in front of him, Severus felt his attitude soften. As unreasonable as her fear was, to her, it was obviously quite real. And if she didn't want to go, maybe it was all for the better in the long run.

"You want me to tell my aunt that we are not coming?"

She looked up at him, a wretched expression on her face. "No..." He could see her being torn two directions at once.

He grasped her shoulders gently. "I'm not going to make you go if you don't want to. It will not be that hard to come up with a reasonable excuse."

At those words, he noted with vexation, she straightened up and looked at him with grim determination. "All right, I'll go. Let's just get moving before I change my mind."

He stared at her for a moment before mentally shrugging his shoulders. "After you."

They threw on their cloaks, he cast a Disillusionment Charm over them in case there were eyes watching the castle, and then they quickly walked out towards the Forbidden Forest, Hannah gloomily striding along next to him without saying a word. When they reached the Apparition point, he stopped and turned to her.

"Are you sure you want to do this?"

"No," she said with a touch of irritation, "but I'm going to anyway. What do I have to do?"

"Just hold on to my arm."

"All right..." Nervously, she grasped his arm with both hands and squeezed her eyes shut.

Severus looked down at her with a mixture of exasperation and amusement. He imagined the face of Lady Jane Grey being led to the chopping block would not have looked any more heroically resigned to a horrible fate than hers did right then.

He hesitated, and then decided that getting it over with as quickly as possible would be the kindest thing to do. "Hold on." She let out a whimper and held his arm in a vise grip. He concentrated, and then there was the horrible, but to him quite familiar, sensation of Apparition: the feeling of being squeezed through a space much too small as the pressure increased to almost unbearable levels, the feeling that just another second, and the blackness would take over...and then they materialized on the grass in front of Anwyn's cottage.

Hannah let out a sob of relief. Tears were streaming down her face.

"There," he said awkwardly. "That wasn't so bad, was it?"

"Don't - talk - to - me - right - now." Each word was pushed out through clenched teeth as she angrily wiped away the tears with the back of her hand.

A few moments later she took a deep breath and squared her shoulders, faint color in her cheeks. "I feel like such a drip," she said bitterly. "Or should that be such a Squib?"

Belatedly, he wrapped his arms around her, something he should, come to think of it, probably have done earlier. "Many wizards don't exactly relish the thought of Apparition either," he said. "I know one who twenty-three years after getting his license still nearly faints every time he has to Apparate."

"Do you really?" She blew her nose into her handkerchief and looked up at him with one eyebrow raised, the ghost of a smile on her face.

He paused for a moment. "Well, no, actually," he admitted with a smirk. "But it made you feel better, didn't it?"

Hannah's response was a light punch to his side. "You're terrible," she said with a shake of the head. But he noticed that she had stopped shivering and that she was trying to suppress a grin. Good.

When she had composed herself a few minutes later, they headed towards Anwyn's cottage. With its sod-covered roof and gray rock walls, it blended almost perfectly into the hillside that rose behind it. Smoke rose in tendrils from the chimney, leaving the tang of wood smoke in the crisp early-spring air. The door, deep-set into the thick walls, was opened as soon as they knocked, and his aunt stepped back to let them in.

"Welcome, Severus - I never thought I'd see the day you'd actually turn up for a holiday. Miracles never cease. And Hannah - you don't mind if I call you that? - it is so good of you to come."

"It's good of you to have me, Miss... well, it is good of you to have me," Hannah finished lamely as she blushed awkwardly. Too late it occurred to her that she had no idea how she should address his aunt. Miss? Madam? And what was her last name? - It certainly wasn't Snape, and it had never occurred to her to ask.

His aunt winked at her. "Anwyn. You can just call me Anwyn." Severus' aunt put her arm around Hannah's waist as they walked into the parlour. "It's plain old Jones, my dear," the older witch whispered conspiratorially. "But don't worry about it, we don't stand much for convention around here anyway."

As they entered, Severus mother looked up from where she was setting a cobalt blue crock filled with daffodils on the dining table, a smile growing across her faded features. Severus walked over to her with a few strides and gave her a perfunctory kiss on the cheek. "Mother."

He turned and motioned for Hannah to come closer. "You remember Hannah Hannigan?"

"Yes, of course..."

Hannah stepped up shyly, and the two women regarded each other nervously. Saeran stuck out a hand, then changed her mind, and pulled Hannah into a quick embrace instead. "Welcome, Hannah. I'm so glad you could come.'

"I am very glad to be here." Even to herself, her voice sounded stilted.

"Please, have a seat." Saeran motioned towards the table. "Dinner won't be ready for an hour or so." She smiled nervously at Hannah. "I always tell Anwyn that a roast cooked the slow way tastes much better than one that has been spelt done. We'll have some time to visit."

When they were all seated with teacups in their hands, Saeran turned towards Hannah.

"I just wanted to thank you again for speaking for Severus at trial. I shudder to think what...."

"It really was nothing," Hannah interrupted her, flushing with embarrassment. "Please, let's not talk about that any more."

There was a short, awkward silence until Anwyn picked up the conversation again.

"So how long have you known Severus, Hannah?"

"We met last summer, on holiday."

Anwyn's eyebrows shot up. "Is that so? I assumed you had met at Hogwarts. You are a teacher there, are you not?"

"Yes, I am."

"But you met last summer. Where was that?"

"We both stayed in St. Comgan."

"At the beach. How very romantic." Anwyn smiled at her. "So did you know that you would end up colleagues?"

"Not then."

"But here you are. What a nice coincidence," Anwyn said. She turned to Severus, who was sipping his tea with an expression as inviting as a closed door. "It is going on a year then, isn't it? So have you two set a date yet?" she asked with a wink.

There was a clatter as Hannah's teaspoon dropped into her cup. Severus, his face growing hard, was just about to open his mouth when Saeran quickly pushed back her chair and got up with a bright smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. "We should really see after dinner," she said with a quick, nervous glance at her son. "Why don't you take a short walk with Hannah and show her around the brook, Severus? It is rather pretty this time of year. We'll call you when dinner is ready. - Anwyn?"

Severus almost expected his aunt to balk, but she followed his mother into the kitchen without protest - yet not without first giving him a knowing grin that made him want to hex her to day before yesterday.

Once they were alone, he cast a covert glance in Hannah's direction. She was sitting with her eyes glued to her teacup, stirring the tea with single-minded dedication, high color rising to her cheeks. He cleared his throat.

"Would you like to take a walk?"

She finally raised her eyes off the teacup. "I would love to take a walk," she said fervently.

He retrieved their cloaks from the entry and then held open the back door. "This way."

"Are you sure it is safe?" she asked timidly as he settled her cloak around her shoulders. At Hogwarts, both were, by Dumbledore's orders, still under virtual house arrest. Even if Severus was beginning to ignore that order more and more as time went by and nothing else had happened.

"As my aunt has made abundantly clear, I have never been in the habit of spending holidays with my family. Even if Pettigrew had found out where she lives, he still would not expect me. I think we are as safe here as we are likely to be anywhere."

"Good."

As they followed the dirt path that wound its way past the kitchen garden, the conversation again died down. It was Severus who finally broke the awkward silence. "I must apologize for my aunt," he said stiffly. "She had no right to presume."

Hannah blushed again. "It's all right. She probably just meant to be funny."

Severus pressed his lips together grimly. Anwyn's ideas of what was humorous and his own were usually miles apart.

Just then, Hannah gasped with delight. "Oh, look!" She pointed ahead on the path. Golden cowslips carpeted the ground beneath the trees and bushes that lined the banks of the brook. Several hawthorn bushes were in full bloom, clouds of virginal white. The first green was just beginning to show on the trees, buds sending out tentative leaves as if to make certain that the time was right.

It was rather pretty, he thought.

She slipped her hand into his as they followed the path along the copse of trees. "I have wanted to do this," she said wistfully. "To just go for a walk with you, hand in hand. Like any normal couple."

Normal couple. There had been very little that had been normal. Virtually all their time together had been conducted in her quarters or his study, with the rest of the world only guessing at the true nature of their relationship.

"I'm sorry it has to be like this," he said as his fingers closed around hers.

"It's rather nice right now," she said, smiling up at him. "And it won't always be like it has been. A couple more months and it will be summer, and we can go someplace where no one will know us or look for us. And one day they will catch Pettigrew. We have all the time in the world."

All the time in the world. He stopped abruptly. Well, if he was waiting for an opening, here it was. And, he thought grimly, if she decided to leave he could just blame it on his aunt's tactlessness.

Hannah looked up at him in alarm as he dropped her hand. "What's wrong? Severus?"

He swallowed before opening his mouth, which suddenly felt dry as dust. "There is something I have been meaning to tell you."

"Yes?"

He fished around for words that would soften what he had to tell her, but came up empty. "At the end of the term, I will be leaving Hogwarts."

Hannah looked at him uncomprehendingly. "You are going somewhere for the summer?"

"My departure will be permanent. I'll not be returning next year."

Her eyebrows pulled together. "I don't understand..."

"The Headmaster has come under pressure from the Board of Governors to not renew my teaching contract for next year. It appears Dumbledore was not the only one who was sent owls demanding my removal."

"He wouldn't let you go. Not after all you have done for him and the Order." Hannah looked up at him disbelievingly

"The matter may be out of his hands." Severus took a deep breath. "And even if not - I think it's time to leave." He walked away a few steps before turning to face her again.

"I have lived my life at the beck and call of others for a long time. I have actually contemplated leaving ever since the end of the war. Those thoughts were renewed when I felt that my continuous presence put students and staff at risk at the time Pettigrew attacked Lupin. With the positive results of my dragon pox trials, it seemed the time was right to explore my options. I sent out some letters of inquiry."

"And?"

"About two weeks ago, I received an offer of employment from a prestigious Potions laboratory. They have decided to fund a full Potions trial of my dragon pox treatment. I will teach a small group of advanced Potions students at their institute and otherwise be free to concentrate on research."

"Congratulations." Hannah smiled up at him. "That is wonderful news."

He didn't return the smile. "There are...complications."

"What kind of complications?" There was a wary tone to her voice now.

"As I told you before, my reputation precludes employment in this country. The offer is from Bridgewater R & D in Nova Scotia."

"Canada?" Every hint of a smile had dropped off Hannah's face. "And you already decided to accept the offer."

He didn't answer. She had turned half away from him, and he could see the muscles in her face working as anger and hurt were fighting for control over her features. "You have known for two weeks, and you decide to tell me now." She wrapped her arms around her chest as if she were cold.

"I thought you would understand why..."

"Of course I understand," she interrupted him, her voice hard-edged and raw, "but gosh, what did you expect?" The anger seemed to be slowly losing the battle, and hurt was taking over. "That I would be happy for you to take off to some place thousands of miles away?"

"Hannah..." Gently, he turned her around and put his arms around here. But for the first time since he could remember she didn't yield to the embrace, but stood stiffly in his encircling arms, as if only politeness was holding her there. It stung worse than anything she could have said.

"I was hoping..." He stopped.

There was no encouragement from her.

Taking a deep breath, he tried again, pushing the words out with difficulty. "I was hoping that you would come with me." At those words, he could feel her grow perfectly still in his arms, as if she did not even dare to breathe. Hurriedly, his pulse throbbing in his throat, he continued. "You were so pleased when you finally got the position at Hogwarts. And I know that there are people here you care about, and that I have no right to ask you to give all that up on my account. But I can't remain here, Hannah, and I am selfish enough to want you with me. I have made inquiries, and the Canadian Ministry would take care of all paperwork should you wish to teach there. There are several Muggle schools in the vicinity, but, I regret, no school of magic. You said you wanted to write; there would be enough money for us to buy a small house, and you could have your own study. And a garden."

There was a pause. "You said 'us'," she said softly.

To his dismay, he felt color rise in his cheeks. He knew quite well that there was one item he had left off her list of future hopes and dreams. A small house in the country, to teach, to write, and...

"I would not ask you to come if I were not prepared to enter into a permanent commitment," he said stiffly.

Hannah looked up at him with shimmering, questioning eyes. "Forgive me if it seems obvious," she said hesitantly, "but - are you offering to marry me?"

"I am." His voice was hoarse. "Will you come?"

There was another short pause before she answered, a pause during which his heart was beating so hard he was sure she could hear it.

"Of course. Of course I will." She smiled up at him, and her face seemed backlit - suffused with joy from the inside out. As he held her gaze he was only dimly aware of the late afternoon sunlight falling through the branches, speckling their cloaks with dots of gold, of the flowers, of the sound of the wind in the treetops. All he knew that she was here, real and lovely and his. And then she was kissing him, lips touching softly as her body pressed against him; back in his arms the way she was supposed to be. And he knew that there would never be another moment so perfect as long as he lived.

Hannah closed her eyes, trying to imprint the touch, smell, and sound of the moment into her memory. She would be married. To him. To Severus. True, she thought with a smile, the proposal probably ranked up there among the worst ever made, but the almost dazed look of relief on his face left her in no doubt as to whether he meant it. She herself was still dizzy from the emotional rollercoaster ride of the last few minutes. Oh, he had scared her...she opened her eyes and returned to kissing him in earnest.

A few minutes later, he released her and straightened up. "You will want a ring, I suppose?" he asked gruffly.

"It is customary," she replied cautiously. "But it isn't necessary..."

"I have a ring." He spoke with uncharacteristic hesitation. "In my family, it is customary to wear emeralds as the betrothal stone. I realize that those are not at all in fashion at the moment. I will not blame you if you find the ring not to your tastes."

He brought a small green velvet box out of the pocket of his robe. The velvet had worn off at the corners, and the box gave off an indefinable aura of being ancient. Hannah drew in her breath, wondering how long exactly he had carried this around with him.

Diffidently, he sprung the top of the box. There was a studiedly casual look to his face that let her know that no matter how nonchalant he was trying to appear, this mattered deeply to him, and Hannah knew right then that she would exclaim in joy even if this was the single most ugly piece of jewelry she had ever seen.

She didn't have to pretend.

The ring looked solid without being massive. A cushion cut emerald of the finest quality was framed in a simple cutwork setting. Next to the stone, the shank of the ring was molded into a stylized leaf-and-vine pattern, not too delicate and not too thick. Three small diamonds were inset along the vines on each side at irregular intervals, like glittering, white-fire berries.

Hannah exhaled. "Severus," she whispered, "I think this is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen in my life."

"It meets with your approval, then?" The formal question didn't quite cover the pleased look that ran over his face.

"I couldn't think of anything more perfect." Her eyes were shining as she looked up at him. "How old is it?"

"We aren't quite sure. It was my great-grandmother's, and her grandmother's before her. We assume it goes back at least half a millennium."

As she looked at it, she could see that the gold had the warm, slightly dulled patina that comes with great age. Hannah suddenly looked up at him with concern. "Will your mother mind? This is a family heirloom..."

"My great-grandmother bequeathed it to me, as there were no other grandchildren. It is mine to give," he answered stiffly.

Hannah nodded, and then looked down again at the box. "Would you put it on?" She felt suddenly shy and close to tears.

He picked up her left hand. Carefully, he held it in his.

"Are you sure?" he asked, his voice barely audible.

Hannah smiled up at him, a smile that was mostly in her eyes. "Absolutely," she whispered.

He removed the ring from the box and slid it on her finger. Hannah gasped in surprise as she felt it tighten. "It is charmed to fit itself to the finger of the wearer," he explained gruffly.

Hannah held her hand out into the sunlight, allowing the light to play across the ring, bringing out the fire in the emerald.

"It looks...quite well on you," he said, and Hannah was pleased to discover that hers wasn't the only voice thick with emotion.

"It's beautiful." She reached up and caressed his face. "Thank you."

He caught her wrist and planted a kiss on the palm of her hand. "Is there any reason we would have to wait?" The desire to keep their association a secret had evaporated in an instant, the same second that his uncertainty about the future of their relationship had been banished for good. And he would be able to protect her much better once they were married, he told himself.

She shook her head with a smile. "I can't think of one."

"Next Saturday, then," he said decidedly. "Before the beginning of the new term."

"Do you think we could get married at Hogwarts?"

He thought for a moment - normally, he would have preferred a quick, quiet ceremony at the Ministry, but his recent experiences with that entity made that option entirely undesirable. He nodded. "I will talk to Dumbledore. If not, there's a chapel in Hogsmeade. We can work out the details later."

All of a sudden, Hannah hung around his neck. "I can't believe it," she whispered in his ear. "Oh, Severus..."

His arms were just closing around her when the strident voice of his aunt cut across the silence like a bugle blast. "DINNER'S READY!"