The Reason

Chapter 2: Where the Stars Shine

A cold wind was blowing, making him shiver. From his place at the highest point of the castle, the sight was beautiful. The sky was blue, strewn with little twinkling stars. And he was, for once, all alone.

He sat down on the edge of the Astronomy Tower, thinking about the events of the past week. He had been in the infirmary all weekend, and Malfoy had sat next to his bed the entire time, looking over him as if he was a baby.

"Do you want me to help you eat, Harry?" or "You better watch out with that spoon, you could hurt yourself! "

Monday had come like salvation for him. It was morning yet, and classes hadn't yet begun, so he thought he would have a chance to be alone for a short time. Earlier he had received an owl with a schedule for his new classes. At the back of the parchment was a note:

"Your new schedule, so we can be together. I'm sure you'll enjoy being with the Slytherins."

When he had looked up, Malfoy had been standing in the doorway, smirking. He had thought that his life was chaos already, but now it was worse. It was hell!

Furthermore, there was Dumbledore. Harry had been very surprised by his reaction. It had just been so...aloof! He had expected the Headmaster to be more comprehensive. He was the only one who knew what Harry was really going through. But he had been wrong in thinking that, because Dumbledore was certainly disappointed with him.

All the week he had tried to arrange a talk with the Headmaster to explain everything, but each time he had failed. Finally, he went to see Professor McGonagall to set the things right. But all she had for him was the same excuse he had been given all the week:

"Professor Dumbledore is very busy at the moment. He'll see you later, Potter."

It hadn't been any better with his friends. They were acting as if he had done nothing, as if that night had never existed. For him, it was the worst this way because it seemed that all the pain he was living with was worthless. Nobody had wanted to know why the Golden Boy tried to kill himself.

Standing in the highest place in the castle, Harry was wondering where Malfoy was at the moment. Certainly asking himself why it's taking me so long in the bathroom. Malfoy! Why had Dumbledore chosen him to be his guardian? And anyway, Harry really didn't think that he doesn't need one. He couldn't kill himself even if he wanted to try again, so why would people worry at all?

But maybe Dumbledore wanted to be sure he wouldn't go after Voldemort and get himself killed for real. What a foolish thing to do! But Harry had thought about this option. It would be so easy, and the death instantaneous. He knew Voldemort would kill him short and sweet.

Despite everything, Harry was still at Hogwarts, watching the stars shining over him, like sparkles of lost hope. All of this had begun when Sirius died, and it was then that Harry had lost all of his hope and faith in life. There was nothing left for him on this earth. And the idea of suicide had surfaced all on it's own, amid Harry's confused thoughts.

If only there was someone here to help me, support me. Not like Hermione or Ron. But a shoulder to cry on, a person to listen to me complain about life. Like a big brother, or...a lover.

"There you are, Potter! Want to throw yourself down the tower? Go ahead, I wont save you this time, there's no need. Kill yourself, I don't mind."

Harry turned around to face the boy standing right behind him. Draco Malfoy was holding his wand tightly in his hand, and as always, he had a relaxed expression on his face, as if he had complete control over the situation.

"But you're suppose to be my guardian, Malfoy! Aren't you supposed to convince me not to jump? You were doing a great job this week. You know, when you spilled my potion everywhere on the floor because you said it was about to explode... or when you woke me up at four in the morning because you dreamed that I was dead..."

For once, Malfoy was speechless. He was looking at the raven-haired boy with a blank expression.

"Why did you save me, Malfoy? Tell me, why didn't you just let me die? What ever will your father will say when he learns that you saved the great enemy of his master? Or maybe that was part of some plan to rule over the Wizarding world? No, wait! Maybe you're getting soft? Does the great Draco Malfoy finally have feelings? "

"In your dreams, Potter. The day I become sweet, please kill me! I only saved you because I wanted to kill you myself. "

At these words, Harry took a step closer to Malfoy, determination shining in his green eyes. He took the other boy's wand and pressed it against his chest. Their faces were separated by mere inches, their bodies were tensed and the moment was filled with tense emotions.

Harry brought his mouth close to Malfoy's ear and murmured, "Kill me, Draco."

"No," he answered flatly. "Because that implies doing you a favour. And even if it's the glory of killing you, I would never do you a favour, Potter."

"THEN WHY DIDN'T YOU LET ME DIE?" Harry yelled, his voice echoing on the wall of the castle.

All week, he had wanted to ask this question of his guardian, but Malfoy never gave him the chance to discuss what happened. He was sure Malfoy hadn't done this just to torture him. He was hiding something.

"You want the truth, Potter? You'll have it! But afterwards, you will explain exactly what this is all about!"

Malfoy lowered his wand, twirling it between his fingers. He finally put it in his pocket. He took a step back and leaned on the wall behind him.

"I was in this same place that we are now, but in very pleasant company... if you know what I mean?" Malfoy winked at him with that confidential glance that only he could do.

"No, I don't know what you mean. Now if you can explain, please, because we don't have all day!"

"Oh, please, Potter... everyone know you have nothing to do. And besides, you'll be with me all day anyway! So as I was saying, I was here when I saw a little light glowing on the pitch. And I had this feeling I needed to go down and see what it was. It surprised me, because it was really dark outside... but I saw you, as brightly as if it were daytime out! And I saved you. I - I don't know why. It was as if I were under the Imperius Curse or something. When I first saw you, I thought you were acting just to get attention, and then the next moment, I really wanted to help you. All I have to say is that the whole thing was weird."

Harry had a feeling that Malfoy was still hiding something, but on the other hand, why Malfoy would lie about that? The blond boy raised one of his delicate eyebrows, as if he were waiting for a sign. Harry nodded to confirm that he believed him.

"Your turn, Potter. I answered your stupid question, which wasn't asked politely at all, by the way. Now you'll answer MY question. Why did try to kill yourself?"

"It's none of your business!" Harry exploded. "This is my shit. And you wouldn't understand, anyway... you're Draco Malfoy, for Merlin's sake! The fucking rich ferret-faced brat! I hate you, and you hate me. Why would I tell you about my problems, when my so-called friends don't even know about them? I don't think there's anyone in this world who would understand me."

Harry turned his back on the blond. His beautiful emerald eyes were filled with tears. Why he was so weak? God, so many emotions were running though his head all the time. Suddenly, he felt a hand on his shoulder and turned to meet two grey pools of compassion.

"Potter, you could at least try to tell me... maybe I'll understand you more than you think."

"Oh, really? Did your parents also die when you were just a baby? And maybe your childhood was pure hell, too, because your uncle and your aunt were ashamed of you and they kept you in a cupboard? "

Malfoy took a deep breath and slapped Harry right on the cheek. Harry gasped and slapped the other boy back.

"Hey! You slapped me, bitch, and you're going to pay for it. There's no way you can treat a Malfoy like that."

"You did it first! Filthy little ferret..."

Malfoy crossed his arms and looked down at Harry.

"It was for your own good, Potter. You were being much too melodramatic for me. And you have it all wrong about me... I may have my parents, but it's hell this way, too... believe me. All that my father is interested in is power. I'm nothing to him. The money and extravagance might be a way to please me, but not at the cost of my freedom. I can't even choose my friends! When you refused to be my friend, he said that you were my enemy. Even if I thought you were smart and that you were a great Quidditch player... and damn, I hate to admit it, but you're almost as sexy as I am. You seem to be a good friend. But I think I did a pretty good job hating you."

Malfoy tried to smirk, but it faded into a grimace of pain. Harry was avoiding his eyes, looking blankly into the space. The anger that had been filling his heart a moment ago was now replaced by great sorrow.

"You think I'm sexy?"

Malfoy frown lifted. "Is that the only thing you can think of to say after what I just said?"

Harry burst out laughing. His laugher was so open and refreshing that Draco started giggling like a little girl. After a long moment of intense laughter, leaving behind wet eyes and obscure sobs, the two boys stared at each other, feeling suddenly awkward.

Draco took a few steps to eliminate the distance between him and Harry. They were glancing at each other with a deep sadness, but a little bit of hope in each of their eyes. The moment seemed to last for hours, each one trying to see what scars the other was hiding within. At the end, Draco offered his hand to Harry, like it was the first day of school again on the Hogwarts Express. Harry stared at him for a moment, feeling dubious, and then he smiled. He took the hand and shook it. They were friends!

"Consider yourself special, Harry Potter, because a Malfoy never makes an offer twice."

And a new friendship began under the twinkling stars. It was weak, and neither had a lot of faith or trust in each other. But it would soon become a true friendship between two broken men, who would one day completely understand each other.