A Sirius Change

Chapter 13 - Lucky

Cordelia sat nervously in an empty office waiting for The Rex. She had been summoned to the Pard Headquarters to answer for her attack on Peregrine. Everyone had been marvelous to her since her arrival the night before, and even the Rex's administrative assistant was quite cordial. She assumed she would receive some sort of reprimand, but all this hospitality was confusing. She had seen what discipline was like in the Pard, and she half-expected that, but still wasn't completely sure of all the nuances of Pard Law and the interpretation thereof. She briefly wondered whether there were solicitors in the Pard structure and whether she should have one with her at this meeting. Finally, the Rex entered the office.

"Mrs. Black, how nice it is to see you again. I trust your journey has been a comfortable one?" Kumar Allesandro, the Rex of the Pard, smiled broadly.

"Um, yes, quite. I came as soon as arrangements could be made." Cordelia said, fidgeting.

"Of course, of course. I realize you have other obligations to your husband and family. You're probably wondering what this is all about."

"Actually, I assumed it was because I injured Avian Peregrine. Has anyone heard whether I infected him or not?"

"That hasn't yet been determined," the Rex answered cryptically.

"Don't you have tests for that? Did he recover from his initial injuries?" Cordelia asked.

"His leg is having trouble healing. A lot of his energy is being expended on other defences. We are unable to do the proper testing because of his unfortunate location. We need to discuss that, but first we must discuss your responsibility in this incident and the consequences of that responsibility."

Cordelia nodded.

Allesandro continued. "I understand why you did this to this particular person. I feel your aggression towards him was almost justified. However, you have created a dilemma. If he is infected, we have to take him in and teach him in the ways of the Pard. We have to show him the same compassion and understanding we showed you. We need to educate him, as we educated you. The ultimate punishment, I think, would be to put you in charge of his training. The only thing preventing me from doing that is the complication of appeasing your husband."

This irritated Cordelia. "You don't need to appease him," she answered, a little testily. "Would you really put me in charge of his education? I mean, I'm very new at this myself and I have an emotional investment in seeing him fail."

"But you would not be allowed to let him fail. It would be your obligation to assure that he succeeds," Allesandro explained.

"And what if he wants to fail? What if he refuses to cooperate and understand the Pard's governing principles?"

"That would be something you'd have to circumvent. However, this topic is moot in that you will not be assigned to his education, if he is indeed infected. It would be a grave security risk to you and your family. This gentleman has attempted numerous times to kill or injure your family. I would suspect if he could muster the strength to mount an additional attack, he would."

Cordelia breathed a sigh of relief. "So am I to be disciplined?"

"Yes. There will be two components to your discipline. The first is to be banned from hunting with the London Pard for a period of five moons. You must hunt, of course, but you may not do so in the company of the other London Pard members. I understand that this may not be a large hardship for you, as you have a large place to hunt in Scotland and a friend who is a werewolf, but the other members of the London Pard understand this as the punishment it is. They will be hesitant to take you back after the fifth month. They won't trust you. They know you purposely used your leopard form for harm, and that is an insult to them. While I have confidence you will eventually earn their trust and be accepted again, you will feel the separation acutely."

Cordelia understood that there was no arguing, and that she had gotten off light. She could have been subject to incarceration in the cavernous dungeons here in India, or a variety of physical punishments. She accepted the discipline wordlessly.

However, the Rex continued. "The second component of your punishment is to go to Azkaban just before the next full moon and see what conditions your husband has subjected Mr. Peregrine to."

"My husband? What do you mean? Peregrine's in Azkaban, and he is there deservedly," Cordelia retorted, feeling a bit braver. "I never took you for a bleeding heart, Mr. Allesandro."

"I am no bleeding heart, but you are certainly aware where your husband has placed his nemesis, aren't you?"

"What do you mean?" Cordelia held her breath. She could guess where this was headed.

"Mr. Black, Deputy Chancellor of the International Federation of Wizards, requested that Mr. Peregrine be positioned in the cell block with the former guards of that illustrious institution. He is surrounded by Dementors, Mrs. Black."

Cordelia's stomach sunk. Sirius had joked about doing that, but she had no idea he actually went through with it. She understood why he did, and knew it was not entirely out of character for him to carry through with that bit of vengeance. She rubbed her forehead. The small ache in the base of her skull had developed into a full pounding behind her eyes.

"No. I wasn't aware of the situation. Now I understand what you mean when you said his energy was being used for other defences." Cordelia sighed. "Do you want me to convince my husband to have Peregrine moved?"

"Not at all. I request only that you visit Mr. Peregrine and judge for yourself if his punishment fits his crimes. I want you to do it before the full moon so that you can appreciate his state if, in fact, he is infected."

"So are you saying that if I come back and recommend he stay in his location within Azkaban, I'll have completed my obligation and he stays?"

"Have you ever met a Dementor, Mrs. Black?"

"No, I haven't, however, living with Sirius, and seeing him through some horrific flashbacks, and such, I can imagine."

"If only it were as innocuous as your imagination."

"I get your point. Have you seen him, then?"

"Yes, I have. He was in a state that I would not wish on my worst enemy, but then he's not my worst enemy."

"I probably wouldn't term him my worst enemy, but I don't have a lot of compassionate feelings about him, either."

"Go to see him and judge for yourself."

"I can tell you already I'm going to have trouble convincing my husband to see this as a necessary trip."

"I realize that will be a challenge. However, as a member of this Pard, it is important that you conform to the structure that has served us well for thousands of years." The Rex paused, but maintained eye contact with Cordelia. "It's settled then. You will visit Mr. Peregrine. On a different topic, I'd like you to stay with us for a few days and receive some instruction from Dr. MacGregor. You worked well together when you were with us the first time. I think it would be most helpful for you to brush up on some of your training."

"This isn't really a good time for me to stay, Mr. Allesandro. I have obligations I need to get back to."

"They have been taken care of and your family has been kind enough to make arrangements."

Cordelia was annoyed by all of this. She very much wanted to just go home, but she wasn't sure if she wanted to yell at Sirius for being needlessly vengeful, or congratulate him for making sure Peregrine got what he deserved. She gathered up her things and left the Rex at his desk.

"Have you and Mr. Black discovered the advantage of being a wereleopard yet?"

Cordelia was stunned that he would bring that up at this moment. She turned and looked at him. "That, Mr. Allesandro is none of your business." With that she exited the office and slammed the door. How dare he be so intrusive. For the first time she was feeling the oppressive constrictions of being a member of this Pard rather than the more familial inclusion she had felt during all her previous encounters with them.

She paused and took a deep breath, trying to calm herself so she wouldn't take her anger out on The Rex's secretary. She didn't deserve it. Right then, deep breath, move forward.

************

"I'm back from Madrid. Shall we have dinner?" Draco spoke into the miniature fireplace in his small but well-appointed office at IFW headquarters.

"Of course, but I wasn't expecting you until Thursday. I have a ton of work and planned to work late tonight." Ginny looked a bit pained.

Draco smiled. "Work until seven, then. I'll make us up something for dinner at your place. You have to eat. Then I'll let you work after dinner. I'm knackered as well, I won't disturb you."

"You always disturb me, Draco." Ginny laughed, but was silent for a moment, considering. "Yes, that should work. In fact, that would be marvelous."

"Right then, I'll expect you at 7:30?"

"I'll be there. I'm glad you're home early."

"Sirius isn't too hard a taskmaster. He wanted to get home to Cordelia and the ankle-biters."

"All right, then. See you tonight," Ginny said with a wave, and was gone.

He sat back and began dictating his report.

By 5:30 he had finished and began gathering his papers to take home. Some of the people in his department were going to a concert and had invited him. It was unusual for them to include him, but he had no interest. He wanted to spend an evening with Ginny, and was even willing to cook in order to do that. He placed an order with Fortnam and Masons Grocers, grabbed his cloak, and headed to the elevator.

By 6:30 the salmon was seasoned and baking, the stringed beans had been steamed and were keeping warm with a vinaigrette sauce and sliced almonds, and the wine was opened and breathing. Draco was rinsing off the spinach leaves and slicing tomatoes when the door clicked open. Instinctively he glanced at his wand, which glowed reassuringly with a green tip, and went back to directing the greens to run themselves under the water. He expected Ginny, as he looked up from the cutting board, but instead found Molly Weasley staring at him, mouth wide open and growing redder and more flustered by the minute.

He could see the cogs of her mind working. Obviously he seemed at home here. He wasn't burglarizing the place, he wasn't spying or stalking, but with a sharp knife in one hand and a tomato in the other, he wasn't someone she appeared to want to confront. He wondered whether she would turn on her heel and simply leave, but she didn't.

"What the devil are you, of all people, doing here?" Molly exclaimed, obviously flustered.

"Making your daughter dinner," Draco said, carefully keeping his tone neutral.

"Why?"

"Because she was working late and didn't want to go out." Draco thought Molly looked confused by his responses. She stammered a bit. "But why would you be making her dinner?"

"Because I cook better than she does." Draco began slicing the zucchini.

Molly sighed and nodded. "I tried and tried with that girl, but she never seemed to have the inter..." She stopped. He realized she was at a complete loss. Obviously all the Weasleys who knew of his liaison with Ginny had kept their word and not told Molly.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Malfoy," she said the name with obvious distaste. "I fail to understand why you are here making dinner for my daughter. I didn't realize you were ..." Suddenly her face relaxed, as if she'd figured it out. "You went into catering! I heard you had been cut off financially from your family. They all said you went to work for Sirius. I see that didn't work out for you, I'm sorry. I hear the home catering business is thriving lately, with all those young professional witches, and no one to cook meals at home anymore. Let me know if you need new recipes, I have a very large collection of cookbooks."

"I'm sorry, Mrs. Weasley. I may take you up on the cookbooks, but I am not in the catering business. I still work for Sirius, in fact."

Her face fell. "Well I'm very surprised to see you here. You don't seem to be up to anything malicious, so the only logical thing left is that you somehow became friends with my daughter."

Draco thought she looked like she might be ill. "Actually, very good friends with her and Bill. Bill's been helping me out with a project lately."

"Oh," she looked relieved again. "So you met Ginny through Bill? Will he be joining you for dinner?"

"No, I think he was going to see Emma tonight."

"You've met Emma? What a wonderful girl, even if she is a Muggle," Mrs. Weasley said, smiling.

"Yes, she is, isn't she," Draco replied.

"If Bill isn't coming over, are you sure you should be here? I mean ... people might get the wrong idea about you and Ginny. What would the neighbours think?" she said in a loud whisper.

What would the neighbours think, indeed, Draco thought with wry amusement. If the neighbours thought anything, it would be obvious that this was a rather serious relationship, or at least one that involved a lot of late-night sleepovers. No, the neighbours probably weren't an issue at this point. But Draco took a deep breath and poured two glasses of wine.

"Mrs. Weasley, I think you should sit down. Have a glass of wine. I need to explain why the neighbours won't think anything unusual about my being here."

She had had two small grocery bags in her hands, which Draco took from her and placed on the counter. He got her settled onto the couch and placed the wine in front of her.

"What I'm about to tell you is completely confidential. You must not speak of it to anyone, particularly the rest of your family," Draco said in a deadly serious tone. "I'm sure you heard about the bomb at Circe in February."

Mrs. Weasley looked nervous just sitting on the same couch as a Malfoy. She looked as if he was going to curse her at any second. She had a firm grip on her own wand, and glanced nervously around. She did, however, nod at this question.

"Because of my experience with dark magic, I was assigned the task of setting up wards around your daughter's home and workplace, and generally keeping an eye on your daughter."

Molly relaxed again. "So you're some sort of bodyguard?"

"In a sense, yes. I also cook her dinner occasionally and other things." Draco bit his tongue about what the other things were.

At that moment Ginny walked in and saw her mother sitting companionably across from her lover, drinking wine and looking confused. Draco saw the strained smile on her face that told him she was terrified he'd cast a cheering charm on Molly and disclosed their relationship. "Hello, mum, what brings you here?" Ginny asked valiantly.

"I brought you a casserole and some fresh strawberries. I got a deal at the grocers and thought you could use some." Molly answered rapidly with just a quaver. "Mr. Malfoy was explaining that he's acting as a type of bodyguard for you. That Sirius was worried about you after the bomb."

"Well, yes, that's it. Yes. A security agent. Yes that's it." Ginny sat on the chair opposite the couch, then instantly sprang up again. "No, that's not it. Not all, Mum. No." She began pacing and talking rapidly, while she was still brave enough to get it all out. "I've been meaning to tell you this for ages, but it never seemed like the right time. Then with the speech you gave after the Circe Party, I just couldn't. I was a coward, but here it is. Draco and I have been seeing each other, in the romantic sense, since Christmas, well, mid-January actually, although we had our first kiss on New Years', at the Kew Gard.... I'm sorry, too much information. I'm rambling. I'm very nervous. He's here because I didn't feel like going out tonight. He offered to cook dinner here, and I really just wanted to come home and spend some time with him since I haven't seen him since Wednesday, last, which is a long time for us, and I wanted to hear how his trip went and tell him about all the things that have gone wrong in the last few days and just sit with him by the fire and drink some wine and have a good meal."

"Ginny, darling," Molly interrupted with a confused look on her face.

"Yes, Mum?"

"Are you trying to tell me you are romantically involved with him?" Her voice resonated with disbelief as she pointed to Draco as if he was an object that just didn't belong in her daughter's flat. Draco didn't particularly like the implication, but with difficulty he held his tongue. It was up to Ginny, now.

"Of course, that's what I'm trying to tell you, Mum," Ginny said impatiently.

Molly looked over at Draco. He raised an eyebrow. "I think I'll go check on the salmon."

They both looked at him gratefully. Ginny reached out and touched his arm. He brushed his fingers against her cheek. Molly winced.

Draco could follow most of the conversation from the kitchen, even if they were speaking in loud whispers.

"How could you date a Malfoy, Ginevra Molly Weasley?" Mrs. Weasley's voice suddenly sounded very angry.

"We were attracted to one another and we went out." Ginny sounded defensive.

"But, really, after all he and his father have done to this community, I can't believe you'd find him the least bit attractive."

"He's changed, Mum. Honestly he has. I tried to fight it. In fact, we spent January and most of February trying not to see each other," Ginny explained patiently.

"You didn't try very hard, did you?" Molly sniffed.

"Mother, that's not fair. I did try hard and it was no use." Draco could sense Ginny's anger rising.

"What do you mean, no use? You certainly barely had time to spend with that dear wizard, Grant. If you didn't have the time for him, how did you suddenly find the time for Draco Malfoy, of all people?"

"That was then, Mum. That was when the magazine was just starting and I only barely making payroll each month. You know I worked at least three positions and Grant worked two. It's let up a bit since then, and besides, Grant is engaged to Fiona."

"Oh, I'm sorry. Is that what this is about? Are you feeling lonely because Grant's engaged and you're not?" Molly's voice had changed to pity. Draco knew that wouldn't sit well with Ginny.

"No, Mother, that's not it," Ginny snapped back. "I like him. We have fun. He understands me and he appreciates me. I enjoy his company, and he enjoys mine."

"So if you're just friends, what's all this romance nonsense?" Molly huffed.

"Because it's more than friends!"

"I just can't see why you had to pick him to date. I'm sure you were hurting after Grant broke up with you in October..."

"Mother, I broke up with him. I sent him to Australia, because he was the best man for the job there." Now Ginny was sounding tired.

"Yes, but you could still see each other, even with him there."

"Yes we could have Mum, but I didn't want to torture myself anymore. We tried. We tried three times, if you remember. If it wasn't going to work then, it certainly wasn't going to work long distance."

"You young people have such warped expectations of love, darling. You and Grant got on just fine. Why do you keep insisting it didn't work?" Molly pleaded.

"Because there was never anything except work between us, mum. We would work all day, come home and talk non-stop about work all night. It wasn't a relaxing environment, and the sex wasn't all that good either."

Draco smiled to himself. At least I have that up on the bastard, he thought.

"Ginevra, I didn't need to hear that and you're just trying to provoke me."

"I'm sorry mum, but I do L ... L ... I really like Draco and it's refreshing to come home and spend time with him," Ginny said emphatically.

Draco was surprised by the twinge he got when she hesitated on the word love. He tried to focus on the meal-preparation.

"So he's just a refreshing change?" Molly said hopefully. "I understand that young people today just want to have a good time and tend to have a fling or two."

"Um, no. It's not just a fling," Ginny stated flatly.

They were silent for quite a while. Finally Ginny spoke, "I'd invite you to stay with us for dinner, but I don't think there's enough salmon, since he really planned the dinner for just the two of us."

"No, I don't want to intrude, really." Molly paused and cleared her throat. "Um. So you really are romantically involved with this ... this Malfoy?"

"Yes, Mum, I am."

"Are you serious about the fellow?"

Ginny was silent for a moment. "Yes, I think I am. Does that make a difference?"

"Of course, darling. If this were just a fling, I'd be far less concerned. I just can't imagine he'd be trustworthy." The pleading was back in Molly's voice.

"He is. I can't say it any plainer than that."

But ... really, darling, he'll hurt you. I know he will."

"No, Mother. He won't. Well, he might, but no more than Harry hurt me, and you don't question his reliability," Ginny answered a bit stiffly.

"Harry's different. You said yourself that it was a mutual break-up?"

"Yes, it was mutual, but it still hurt. Draco treats me better than Harry or Grant ever did. He sees me as a whole person. In a way Harry and Grant both saw only half of me and only accepted half of me. Grant saw the professional side. I couldn't have any life outside work if I stayed with him. Harry saw the personal side and couldn't take my work seriously. Draco sees all of me."

"So the people you work with know about this ... this liaison?" Molly asked.

"Yes, why should they care?"

"Well, he is a Malfoy."

"Mother, I'm the boss, they aren't going to question who I date. It has raised some eyebrows, but it's not any of their business, now is it?"

"No, I suppose not. So Bill knows, and approves of this as well?" Molly pressed on.

"Yes. Bill knows, and has threatened to castrate Draco if he ever does anything to hurt me. Fred and George have their suspicions, Percy hates it, and Dad is resigned," Ginny said as she tallied the family's responses to date.

"I'm the last to know about this then?" Molly sounded defeated.

"Well, of course. I knew you wouldn't be pleased. Like I said before, I'm a coward. I didn't want to cause you pain, so I've put off telling you. I didn't want to have the conversation we're having."

"Did you think I'd just accept this?"

"No, Mother, that's why I haven't told you."

"I feel so foolish coming in here and all ..."

"Don't. It's my fault. Draco will probably have a few choice words about why I hadn't told you, but I can handle him."

"Are you sure you can?"

"I'm sure, Mum."

"But if you are so involved, why wasn't he at the Circe party last month? I saw him with another girl on his arm at the auction next door."

"That was part of the project he was working on for Sirius. I can't tell you any more about it because I don't know any more," Ginny responded. She hoped her mum wouldn't pursue that.

"Sirius assigned him to date other women? I have always wondered whether he was the best choice for Deputy Chancellor. If they had asked me, I would not have chosen him," Draco could hear the indignation in Molly's voice.

"I know, Mum, and I'm sorry they didn't ask you, but that's the way it goes. Not everything is a democracy in this world. I must say though I think he's doing a terrific job."

"Well, look at your judgment lately."

"Mother!" Ginny said in an exasperated voice.

"I'm sorry, you're right. That was uncalled for. I just don't know what to think."

"Not to say you're not welcome to stay, but I think we both need some time. Go home and think about it, talk to Dad. We can talk more later. I've had a very long day and still have quite a lot of work to do after dinner." The voices were getting softer. Draco knew she was leading her mother to the door.

"I know, darling. I'm sorry for causing such a ruckus. I was just so surprised."

"I know, Mum. I know," Ginny reassured her.

"I love you darling. I just want you to be happy."

"He makes me happy." Ginny took a deep breath. "Good night, Mum."

Draco heard Ginny shut the door. She entered the kitchen wordlessly. He was leaning against the counter with his arms folded across his chest, legs crossed at the ankle. The dinner was laid out on plates and wine was poured. Ginny reached for her glass of wine and downed it in one swallow. She shook her head and took a deep breath.

"All that on top of this quarter's financials today." Ginny rolled her eyes.

Draco shook his head and smiled. "I think it went rather well. She didn't kill me. I didn't kill her. You didn't kill either one of us. What more do you want?"

Ginny rubbed the space between her eyes. "I just didn't want that conversation today, that's all."

"It's over now, though." He held out his arms.

She came to him, wrapped her arms around him and knocked her head against his chest a few times, then took another deep breath and snuggled into him. "It's not really over. She'll be back here tomorrow trying to figure out a way that I could be mistaken."

Draco held her away from him. "Could you be mistaken? You couldn't quite push the L-word out just now."

"I know. I just couldn't say it to her," Ginny explained.

"You've always had a bit of trouble saying it," Draco commented dryly.

"As have you," Ginny answered defensively.

"I say it plenty."

"Errr, you say it when we're making love. You rarely say it if I'm not naked."

Draco smiled. "How much time do we actually spend together when we aren't naked?"

Ginny laughed, but stepped away. "We spend plenty of time together not naked."

Draco raised his eyebrow. "I suppose, I just prefer those times that we are naked."

She laughed, took him by the hand and magicked the plates to her dining room table. "Let's eat before we both end up naked. I'm starved." She raised the shades so they could see the London skyline and lit the thirty or so candles that fluttered about the room.

"Sure you want everyone to see us together?" Draco teased.

"I'm sure. Maybe later you can do me up against the glass and they can really see us together."

"Exhibitionist."

"You bet." She smiled. He kissed her. As he kissed her, he reached one hand up under her blouse and moved her bra to the side so he could toy with her nipple. He kissed her harder and slid his other hand up her leg, reaching into her knickers and giving her a good squeeze. Just as she began to melt into him, he removed his hands and his mouth. "Let's eat," he said with a wicked grin. She took another large gulp of wine.

************

Two weeks had passed since the show. The trial was quick and painless and Peregrine got a life sentence for executing Lexus, as well as multiple twenty-year terms for the forgery and fraud charges. Sirius sat back in his chair and thought about his discussion with the head warden at Azkaban. He did the right thing. He knew he'd done the right thing. Every time he thought he might not have done the right thing he thought of both Ian and Colin in hospital beds and he thought of Leslie, Cordelia's security witch. He had seen the pictures of her body and they weren't pleasant. Ian, of course, was fully recovered, but Colin's progress had been slow and fraught with setbacks. The security wizard had finally regained consciousness two weeks ago, but had slipped back into a coma twice, and was not strong enough to walk. His mental agility had also come and gone. Sometimes he was lucid and others he didn't recognize Sirius or Aidan. Aidan had been with him every day and was helping with his care, but Sirius was feeling pretty thinly stretched. Not only was Colin still in Hospital, but Harry was in recovery as well.

Sirius marveled again at the gall Hermione had to just up and leave the way she did. He compared it to Aidan who had been with Colin every day and most nights through his recovery. Sirius scowled as he recalled again Hermione's untimely departure, and her halting explanation to him even as Harry lay in recovery. He loved them both, and had thought they belonged together long before they realized it. But with each day of Hermione's absence, he was having a harder time accepting her disappearance. Harry had his baggage, certainly, as well as his demons - and Sirius knew a lot about demons. But in an adult relationship, one simply didn't bail out when your partner needed you most. Love meant putting the concerns of the other person ahead of yours. It wasn't just a rule; it's what you wanted to do. What on earth could have been so bad that she felt the need to leave him just then? Sure, Harry had a lot of people who cared about him, and he lived in a house full of people that would take care of anything he needed. But Sirius couldn't help but wonder if Hermione had been mortally wounded; wouldn't Harry be the first person she would want to see? How would she feel if Harry let her mother handle her recovery, while Harry went to recover from some supposed emotional trauma? Sirius felt his blood pressure rising and he realized he needed to think about something else.

He gathered up the paperwork he'd been reviewing and shoved it into his briefcase. He'd look at it tonight after the kids were in bed. Cordelia was due home this evening from India and he had to stop by the ID and check on Harry's progress, and he wanted to check in with Aiden as well. And he hoped Cordelia would be home from that ill-timed visit to the Pard. The kids missed her, and so did he.

******

Cordelia had Flooed the last leg of the journey, and was stepping out of the fireplace, brushing herself off, just as Nick and the kids came through the door. She'd been hoping for a few moments to settle in before they arrived, but that thought was banished beneath hugs and kisses that nearly knocked her off her knees. Nick was giving her the run down on the children's status. Hungry? Yes for Ian, no for Charlie. Tired? Yes for Charlie, no for Ian. Naps? Yes for Ian, no for Charlie. Moods? Cranky for Charlie, hyper for Ian.

"I know it's your day off, but are you available to come in tomorrow?" Cordelia asked.

"I wasn't planning on it," Nick replied. "What do you need me for? I thought this was going to be your day with the kids. You know how much they're really looking forward to it. They're getting a bit bored of me."

"I know..." Cordelia hesitated in her answer as she heard the telltale pop as Sirius Apparated into the entryway.

Sirius stepped in and was hanging his robe on the coat tree in the foyer.

She continued quickly. "I need to talk to you about that. I might, um ... No, there's somewhere I need to go tomorrow. It's an all-day thing and my mum hasn't come back from her buying trip. I need your help."

"Where do you need to go?" Sirius asked innocently.

Cordelia knew he knew her schedule nearly as well as she did. "Later?" Cordelia looked pleadingly in his direction.

Nick raised an eyebrow, looking from one to the other. "My, aren't we being cryptic. Yeah, sure, I'll be able to come around. I was going to organize my closet, but I'm glad to get out of it. I best be off, then, if you slave drivers are going to need me tomorrow."

"But Mummy, we wanted to spend the day with you!" Charlie moaned. "I wanted to play ponies with you."

Cordelia knelt, pulling Charlie into her arms. "I'm sorry, darling, something came up. I promise to play ponies with you Sunday. Would you like to go up to the farm on Sunday? Then we could ride our own ponies." Charlie looked sad, but accepting. Ian climbed up on Cordelia's back.

"Could you be here about eight?" Cordelia asked as she stood up, with Ian still on her back.

"Sure." Nick turned to the children. "We'll go to the zoo tomorrow, all right?"

"Can we see the tigers and the elephants?" Charlie asked while Ian started making monkey noises.

"Of course, and the monkeys for you," Nick said as he reached out and patted Ian's back.

Ian nuzzled his face into his mum's neck.

"All right then, bright and early. See you then." Nick picked up his bag and headed for the door.

Cordelia looked over at Sirius.

"I'll go get changed," he said, looking a bit confused.

They spent the next few hours getting dinner, playing with the kids, and putting them to bed. Then Cordelia made them both a cup of tea and brought it to Sirius, who was on the couch with the folder of paperwork.

Cordelia put the tray on the end table, sat down on the floor, and began to massage Sirius's feet.

"This is not something I'm going to like," Sirius observed, even as he luxuriated in having his feet rubbed.

"No, this is not something you are going to like," Cordelia replied, not wanting to meet his eyes.

"All right then, out with it."

"The Rex wants me to visit Peregrine."

Sirius closed his eyes, and Cordelia could see him gritting his teeth. "So, you know I went through with it then?"

"Yes. I thought you were joking when you suggested it."

"I was at first, but it just seemed like such a good idea," Sirius said, opening his eyes but looking away.

"I don't appreciate having to find out about it from Mr. Allesandro," Cordelia said, continuing to rub his feet.

Sirius fidgeted on the couch, and finally looked directly at her. "It wasn't any of your business."

Cordelia put his foot down, not so gently. "It was! I was one of the victims. It very much was my business."

"Victims have no say in the punishment of a criminal. You know that."

"Well, they can influence it in court, but no, they normally don't. But you should have told me."

"Actually, I'm glad I didn't."

Cordelia looked at him, alarmed. "Why on earth would you be glad about hiding something like this from me?"

"So we wouldn't have to have this conversation. You'd object to all kinds of things and I'd have to defend them, and I just didn't want to put the energy into it. It was easier not to involve you."

"Not to involve me? What did you think I'd object to?"

"Well, for starters, you'd think it was inhumane. Then you'd say it was an abuse of power. Then you'd question my sanity. Then you'd prattle on about forgiveness and only being able to heal if I did the right thing. I wasn't feeling all that magnanimous towards him. It all came about kind of by mistake, anyway. I was joking with the warden ... well, I thought I was joking -- and I asked where he would be located. We talked about the Dementors and at the end of the conversation he asked if I wanted him to put Peregrine down in my old cell, and I said sure. It was really more of an acquiescence than an order."

Cordelia had to consciously close her mouth. Then she opened it again and let him have it. "First, how do you know I wouldn't agree that Peregrine belongs there? Second, I do not prattle. Third, you knew full well where your old cell was so don't tell me it was a mistake unless you're prepared to move his cell. Fourth, it is an abuse of power, but that's not the issue I need to talk to you about this evening. I'll get angry at your mischaracterization and overly broad assumptions about me later. What we need to settle now is whether you'll come to Azkaban with me to visit Peregrine."

"Why on God's green earth is Allesandro forcing you to visit Peregrine? Don't tell me he's a bleeding heart and thinks it's inhumane? See, I knew someone would--"

"He's not a bleeding heart, but he thinks it's a cruel enough punishment that I need to see and realize how cruel it is."

"Doesn't he realize you've been living with me all these years? I think you have a clue about how cruel it is."

"Yes, I do. I think that it's my punishment as well."

"Punishment? What are you being punished for?"

"For infecting Peregrine."

"Has he been infected?" Sirius asked, as he considered this. Then he laughed a little and mumbled mostly to himself, "Serves him right if he is."

"I'm going to ignore that last remark," Cordelia said, still trying to hold her temper. She stood, and began pacing the room. "Don't you realize what an insult that last remark was?"

Sirius looked at her, and raised an eyebrow.

Cordelia took a deep breath and shook her head. "So, are you coming with me or not?"

"No, I'm not going to take my day off and go hang around with some Dementors, feeling bad about Peregrine. And I really don't think you're going to go, either."

"I'm not? You can decide that for me?" she asked, incredulously, her voice rising in anger.

"You're certainly not thinking clearly. Just because Allesandro is feeling bad about where Peregrine is being held, doesn't give him the right to inflict that emotional scar on you. He wasn't the victim of Peregrine's games, and he wasn't nearly killed by him."

"Yes, but as much as I bristle at being subject to his control, I need to do my penance."

"Penance? For saving a lot of lives and enabling Peregrine to get arrested?" Sirius shouted.

"Yes, penance for maybe having infected someone, and not by accident. I deliberately attacked him in leopard form. That's a major offence in The Pard's disciplinary system. It's how they've been able to survive without the stigma that werewolves have. We don't infect people against their wishes."

"But really, he can't expose you to the Dementors."

"He said I needed to understand."

"Understand what?"

"What exactly Peregrine has to deal with. And I need to go tomorrow because tomorrow is as close to the full moon as I'm willing to handle. I know I shouldn't go on the same day as the full moon, and my schedule is full on Monday and Tuesday.

"So, why not go after the moon, when you're a whole lot less vulnerable?"

"Sirius! I've explained it to you before. We transform by drawing energy in, and we always have to expend energy to prevent transformation. If Peregrine's energy is going to resisting the Dementors and he is resisting his transformation, it could kill him. The Rex wanted me to see Peregrine at his worst."

"So you're supposed to coach him through it? Be sort of a mentor to him? How can he ask that?"

"He didn't. He just wanted me there at this time."

"I don't understand it. This is completely unreasonable."

"I understand that."

"No, you DON'T understand. They aren't just monsters! They are evil beings who can suck out your soul!"

Cordelia crossed her arms defiantly in front of her. "I've heard that before, believe me. I've heard it so many times my ears bleed!"

"Then why are you even considering this?!" Now Sirius was on his feet, as well, trying to keep his temper.

"Sirius! I don't have a choice!"

"Tell Allesandro he can go to hell!"

"I CAN'T DO THAT!" Cordelia yelled desperately.

"Why the hell not?" Sirius shouted back.

Cordelia glared at him. "So you're not going to come help me through it? FINE!" Cordelia's stomach was in knots as she stormed out of the room and fled to the office upstairs. She closed the door and leaned against it, then slid down it and started to cry. She really didn't want to face the Dementors all alone. She was counting on Sirius's support. She knew it would be hard for him, but she thought he would stand by her, be supportive. He was not only not being supportive, he had lied through omission because of a whole host of misconceptions. Did he really think that she was that type of person? Prattle on? Prattle?? She tried to cry quietly so she wouldn't disturb the kids. So she hugged her knees and buried her head in her arms.

****

Sirius knew he'd got it all wrong from the minute he'd agreed to put Peregrine in that cell. A small voice inside was telling him it was wrong, which was why he had been so harsh with Cordelia. A louder internal voice was reassuring him he was right about Peregrine and Allesandro and there was no way he would allow Cordelia to go up to Azkaban, and particularly no way he'd allow her to be exposed to the Dementors. She couldn't even see them, for God's sake, and she didn't have the defences against them. That was a horror she didn't need to share with him, particularly when she was in a vulnerable state so close to the full moon. He knew that was always a rough time for any lycanthrope, and here Allesandro was compelling her, not only to go see these creatures, but to be in their presence too close to the full moon for his and her comfort. Sirius was angry. Very angry.

He threw some pillows about and felt an urge to hit something. He knew he needed to get out and away. Sirius bolted out the back door, past the security wizard who always lurked near the townhouse, and into the alley. He transformed, and the big, black dog began to run, and run, and run.

Calmer as he approached the townhouse, he noticed a light remained on in the office upstairs. All was quiet when he entered the house. He climbed the stairs and gently opened the office door. Cordelia was asleep on the couch. The pillow under her head was damp, and her eyes were puffy and red. Brushing the hair back from her face she stirred, clenched her eyes, rubbed her nose and settled back into sleep. A quilt was draped on the back of the couch. Sirius draped it gently over her, turned off the light and sat down at the desk. A street lamp shone in through the large leaded window, casting odd colors and shapes around the room. Sirius breathed deeply, and propped his feet up on the desk. She was so beautiful, and had dealt with so much this year. How could he allow her to be exposed to Dementors?

He tried exploring his own feelings about them, but didn't have the energy to venture too far into his memories. He had to be well-prepared to sink back into that time, and he just wasn't tonight.

He did understand her loyalty to the Pard. He knew she couldn't refuse the Rex, not at this time, anyway. Maybe in a few years she could, but he knew the changes she'd been through were too much to add defiance to that. So his choice became to let her go alone, or to go with her. He realized at that moment that he could not let her go alone.

****

Once Draco got his orders to accompany Sirius and Cordelia to Azkaban, he arranged to see Ginny. He never knew how these excursions were going to go and this one was giving him a bad feeling. They had ordered pizza and shared a bottle of wine and were lying in front of the fire. Draco took Ginny's hand. "I have a family heirloom that's quite gaudy. It's a five-carat pear-shaped diamond. My mum gave it to me before, and I managed to keep it, despite her asking for it back a lot last year."

Ginny's mouth dropped, "Five-carat? Five? Wow. No, really, Draco -- I couldn't accept that. Besides, it would say more than I want to share at the moment."

"Your office knows, now your mother..."

"Yes, but a ring ... particularly one that large, says that we're planning to marry," Ginny explained.

"I always thought women wanted commitment. Now you're throwing it back in my face?"

"I'm not throwing anything, actually. I thought you knew where I stood on marriage."

"Oh, I'm very familiar with your stand on marriage. But you can't expect me to stand by and let other men assume you're available to them," Draco answered.

"Why is it men always want to pin a big label on their women proclaiming 'MINE' for all the other men to see?" Ginny asked, trying not to sound exasperated, and to reassure him. "I know I'm not available and you know I'm not available."

"But they won't know. I don't like the idea of other men coming on to you."

"I do. It's fun." She looked at his face and could see the growing anger beneath the playful façade. "You sound like you want to own me."

"When it gets right down to it, I do. I want to own you body and soul. I don't want any other man to think he has a chance to do this..." He cupped her naked breast and held on tight, then kissed her hard.

Ginny pulled back. "You can't own me, Draco, any more than I can own you. Stop talking like a bloody caveman. Slavery was outlawed years ago." Ginny sat up and began to look for clothes.

"You know it's not like that," Draco said, anger rising in his voice.

"No, I don't. It's a personal peeve, when people call other people 'mine'," Ginny said, pulling Draco's t-shirt over her head.

"A true romantic, aren't you?" Draco challenged.

"It's just I hate the idea of all that possessive shit. I went through that with a boyfriend about two years ago." Ginny handed Draco his trousers.

"Grant?"

"No, this one didn't last long enough to even qualify for a page in my memoirs. But he couldn't stop saying 'mine' when he made love to me. Like I was a toy he owned," Ginny fumed.

"Was he better than me?" Draco asked boldly.

"What the hell has that got to do with anything?"

Draco shrugged. "I'm just asking."

Ginny shook her head and mumbled to herself, "You'd think with six brothers I'd be used to male competitiveness." Then she turned to Draco, folded her arms across her chest, and said, in a rote tone, "No he wasn't as good as you. I've never had anyone as good as you." Ginny raised an eyebrow, "Happy?"

"Well, not when you say it like that, no. I'm not so happy."

"Sorry, too bad. It's not a competition to see how good an orgasm I can get, or how great an orgasm I can bring on you," Ginny explained as she gathered the rest of her clothes and started to head up the stairs to the bedroom.

Draco followed. "Yes, it is. Well, it is at least partly about that."

Ginny turned on the stair. "No, Draco, it's not. It's about bringing someone else great pleasure. It's about sharing intimate parts of your body that you don't reveal to everyone. It's about a whole lot more than a race to an orgasm."

"Don't dismiss orgasms so lightly."

Ginny sighed and continued up the stairs. "I'm not, but that's not the goal, it's the result."

Draco laughed. "I know. I was just having you on. But you have to know that it does drive me crazy to think of anyone else bringing you to a screaming thrashing orgasm."

"Draco, no one can bring me like you can. Does that help?" Ginny dropped the rest of their clothes on a chair by the door.

Draco took hold of her arm and turned her to him. "No. What I'm getting at, in this round about way, is asking you if there is some way we can let others know you aren't available for screaming orgasms."

"I don't want a huge ring that I'll probably damage just before we break up."

"We're breaking up?"

"Isn't that inevitable? Doesn't everyone at some point? Look at Hermione. She just up and left the man of her dreams. The one she's been in love with since she was eleven. How can we possibly last if they can't?"

"Because I bring you to screaming orgasm?" He pulled her closer.

"From what I hear from Bailicroft, I don't think Harry and Hermione have trouble on that front."

Draco let her go and shrugged. "I don't know all that much about either one of them."

"But you do. You've brought Hermione to orgasm. You admitted that. She admitted that, or at least she said Gerald was rather skilled at giving sexual pleasure."

"Yes, but that was a role I was playing. This is real. There is more to a relationship than screaming orgasms. If there wasn't, the sex would get damned mundane after a bit."

"You think?" Ginny turned away and began turning down the covers to her bed.

"Yes, trust me," he said as he came up behind her and stroked her hips.

"You've had this experience?" she said, as she stepped out of his embrace, and moved to the other side of the bed.

"Yes."

"Do I want to hear about it?" She crossed her arms, and looked him straight in the eye.

"Probably not."

"Be less cryptic, sometimes, all right?" she said, as she violently fluffed the pillow.

Draco threw his hands in the air. "Fine. She was fantastic in bed, knew all the right ways to touch. She had strength and flexibility so that we could do it anywhere and everywhere, and we did. She came every time and so did I in great masses of over- the-top orgasms. But it was like I felt her skin, but never her soul." Draco paused, crossed to her side of the bed, came up very close and stroked her cheek, "I've touched your soul," he said softly, then shrugged, and moved away from her. "I like it. Sex without that may as well be with a blow-up witch."

Ginny was a bit breathless from his close encounter, but shook her head and quipped, "Quite the poet..."

"No, just trying to make you see that you can use whatever words you like. You can keep me from saying 'mine,' you can tell me we can't marry, but I'm egotistical enough to realize I can't stand the thought of anyone else being with you like this," he said as he gestured towards the bed.

Ginny looked at him earnestly. "Really, there is no one else I want like this. But I've worked hard for my independence. I'm not ready to give it up to make you feel better."

"So you wouldn't care if I went out and shagged someone else? It seems to me you cared a month ago," he asked angrily.

"Fine. I do care. So what does that mean?"

"Right then. No marriage. No rings. This is absurd," Draco began to pace the bedroom.

"What's absurd is you insisting on some sort of outward sign to the rest of the world that I, ummm ..."

Draco turned and challenged, "You what?"

Ginny shrank back, pacing the other side of the room. "I, ummm, well, that we're ...that we're together."

"You still can't say it, can you? You can't say that you love me," Draco bellowed.

"Sure, I can. And you know I do, so why do we have to proclaim it to the whole world?" Ginny yelled back with her arms flung wide.

"You're still worried about what everyone might say. That the fabulously successful Ginny Weasley has blindly succumbed to that dastardly Malfoy bastard. It makes you look stupid, doesn't it?"

"That's not it at all!" said Ginny dismissively.

"Yes, it is! What happened to shagging you against the glass so everyone could see me take you?"

"Well, they wouldn't really see us, would they?" Ginny said sheepishly

"I have half a mind to take you to King's Cross during rush hour and shag you on the platform. I'll make the whole world see how you feel about me."

Ginny rolled her eyes. "You don't need to do that. People would trip over us and probably sue." But she said it with a smile. "All right. I promise not to be ashamed of being seen with you."

"But you won't wear the ring I stole from my mum," Draco said, exasperated.

"Oh, I love stolen property," Ginny teased.

"Fine. A necklace?"

"A leash."

"Bracelets?"

"Handcuffs."

"Earrings? No, you can't sleep in them," Draco said, mulling alternatives.

"So I have to be able to sleep in this token?" Ginny asked, incredulously.

"I want to see you make love to me in it," Draco said quietly.

Ginny rolled her eyes. "I'll stitch 'Property of Draco Malfoy' to my arse, would that help?"

Draco smiled. "And a lovely arse it is."

"What about you? What are you going to do about showing the world that you're, you're ... well, that you aren't available."

"Hey, I'd wear a ring, I'd wear a necklace. Hell, I'd wear a penis ring if it would make you happy."

"I always wondered if they helped at all," Ginny asked, obviously hoping to change the subject.

"We could try. I have one at home," Draco offered.

"You do?"

"You've never explored my bedside table, I see. I'm impressed."

"Why? Have you snooped?"

"Of course, and you're dead boring. All you have in there is nail polish, books, and tissues. I was at least expecting a vibrator." Draco had crossed the room and taken Ginny back in his arms.

"What do I need a vibrator for? I have you." Ginny whacked him on the chest just before he kissed her.

"What about when I'm away?" he asked before the next kiss.

"Well, maybe you just haven't snooped hard enough," she suggested, as she slid his trousers off.

**********

She woke to the feeling of someone drawing on her hip. At first she thought it was only Draco's fingertip tracing an intricate pattern just at the point where her hipbone jutted to the surface. She was thinking through that last session with a vague longing when the drawing stopped. She cracked one eye just as Draco lifted his wand, said a few words that she didn't understand and blew gently on her skin.

"What are you on about, down there?" She asked sleepily, propping herself up on her elbows.

Draco looked at her and smiled, then began tracing in earnest whatever it was that he'd put, no... drawn on her hip.

"Oh! Isn't that pretty?" she sighed, as she got a good look at a very intricately- drawn, green- and -black dragon with an occasional silver scale.

"Thank you. It did turn out well, if I do say so myself," Draco said proudly.

Ginny smiled, "How long will it last?"

"What do you mean?"

"Most skin painting I've done only lasts a few days, and less if you shower," explained Ginny.

"Care for a shower?" Draco leered.

"Yes, don't mind if I do, but I don't want to mess up your handiwork," Ginny said, tracing the design with her finger.

"Oh, that ... no worries, it's permanent." Draco rolled over and sat up, propping the pillows against the head of the bed.

This brought Ginny sitting bolt upright. "WHAT!?"

"Well not fully. I mean, if we do break this off, it will burn off. If I tell you I don't love you anymore, the surface of the skin will burn and peel. It's hideously painful, and it'll leave a scar for a few months, but after that you'll barely remember having it," Draco explained calmly.

Ginny just stared at him, mouth open with a feeling of complete horror winding up through her belly. Her brain couldn't process this fast enough to begin to scream. She closed her mouth, then her eyes, took a deep breath, and shook her head.

Very slowly, trying very hard to control her voice, she asked, "You charmed this tattoo onto me and you're telling me it won't come off except by burning?"

Draco looked awfully confused, almost innocent, if Draco could ever really look innocent. "Right, why would you want it off?"

Ginny looked at him, trying to see into his brain for something that would explain this complete disregard for her body. "Draco, what the hell are you thinking?"

"You've liked my drawing before. I thought this one was an appropriate monogram."

She got up out of bed, and with shaking hands, wrapped the white satin robe about her. She paced back and forth across the bedroom a number of times, clenching and unclenching her fists, breathing so as to calm herself down. He really didn't understand, she kept telling herself. He must not understand. How could he NOT understand? She stood by her dressing chest and gripped the edges until her knuckles turned white, as her brain debated his intent. Was he really that clueless that he didn't think of this as a violation of her body? The word branded came to mind.

"You've branded me, Draco! Like cattle! What the hell were you thinking to do this to me without my consent?"

"Your consent? Why the hell would I need that?"

"Because it's my body!" Ginny yelled.

"Well, most of the time," Draco smiled. "I do rather like it when you give it to me every once in awhile."

"Draco! This is NOT a joke! I am furious about this!"

Draco had crossed his arms across his chest, still looking amused. "Well, I was wondering about that. I thought we were trying to share something like a commitment here. I thought you said you rather loved me, you said it a number of times last night. At least three times when I was inside you, and a couple times afterward. I took that as an indication that you meant it."

"What the hell has that got to do with this?" she asked incredulously as she pointed to her hip.

"It's a token. We agreed rings were not the right thing for us."

"Yes, and we talked about rings. We really needed to talk about this."

"Why?"

"Rings you can remove ... this you can't without pain! Did you really think that this would be a good thing to surprise me with?"

"Actually, yes. It was considered an honor to have this done in the circles I grew up in. There were women begging me to do this to them."

"Really? Why the hell would they beg to be mutilated?"

"Mutilated?" Draco shook his head in surprise.

"Yes, mutilated. It's beautiful to be sure, but a mutilation just the same, when it was done without my consent. How can you not see that? Wouldn't you feel the same if I did it to you?"

"Well, it's not typically done to men."

"Why not?"

Draco thought for a moment and shrugged. "It just isn't. Most men have the Dark Mark burned into them from when the Dark Lord ruled, so I guess the women think that's sexy enough."

"Do you have a Dark Mark?"

"No, since I was mainly doing glamour and other undercover work, I was spared."

"So I can put one of these on you?"

"If you knew the spell."

"You can teach it to me."

"Um, no. I don't think I want it on me."

"Why the hell not?"

"It's a spell intended for a woman."

"Get out."

"What?"

Ginny threw his trousers at him. "I said, get out. If you can't understand why I am having a problem with this, then I want you out of my house, now!"

Draco shook his head and went down the stairs, slinging his trousers over his shoulder.

Ginny fumed a bit more, slamming drawers and doors, and stormed into the shower.

As she stood under the steaming water she looked at the dragon on her hip. She cried, hit the tattoo, hit the wall, then cried some more. Then she looked at it again. She finished washing, toweled off, and got out her magnifying mirror. She examined the tattoo very, very closely for a good long time. It was beautiful. It was unique, and it was just a little bit sexy. She hated that it was there, but she had to admit it was cool. She hated that it could come off at his whim, but then she didn't want it there if they were to break up. It would remind her of him and that would hurt worse than any burn.

She threw on a pair of sweats and a tank top, fully expecting him to still be there. But he was gone. This made her even angrier. She realized it was irrational and that between the discussion of the rings and the tattoo, she might have just pushed him too far. She summoned her owl and wrote him a note of apology.

Half an hour later her owl showed up back at her window with the note still attached. He hadn't responded.

*****

Sirius paced the deck. Back and forth. He tried to sit. He really did. He'd brought paperwork to go through and a book. But he couldn't settle to anything. He was leaning on the railing at the prow of the boat, trying to decide what to do next.

"See anything yet?" Draco asked.

Sirius was startled. He hadn't heard Draco approach. That was not a good sign, he thought to himself.

"No, we're still too far away. Did Jared brief you on the procedures?" Sirius asked, trying to get his mind off the coming activities.

"Yes, in excruciating detail. I swear if Colin doesn't recover soon, I'm going to have to find you a new security chief. Jared is insufferable."

"That's what you thought about Colin," commented Sirius.

"I didn't appreciate Colin's professionalism and his people skills."

"Next time I see him, I'll tell him you were asking for his return."

"That would be fine. Listen, can I ask you something personal?" Draco ventured.

Sirius choked back a shocked response, and cleared his throat. "Well, sure, if you want to."

"Well, I need some perspective. Keep in mind, this is still none of your damn business, but well, ... have you heard of the amortiscribbulous charm?"

"I've heard of it. Wasn't it outlawed in 1674?"

"Well, yes, but that didn't stop anyone, you know. Now they just claim it's a Muggle tattoo."

"I know. My cousin boasted about doing the charm on his fiancée just before they were married. She was very proud of it, except if I remember correctly it was a tattoo of a pig. I wasn't sure of the significance, and I really didn't want to ask. Are you thinking of doing this charm on Ginny?"

"It's considered an honor to bestow this charm on your woman. It shows commitment and loyalty," Draco recited.

"Yes, that's what I was taught too," Sirius conceded.

"So have you done one to Cordelia, or anyone else, for that matter?"

"No. I learned to question what I was told growing up. Plus I never wanted to commit, back in the day, you know. Now, of course, the illegality of it would be a problem. Not to mention Cordelia's likely total disinterest," Sirius reflected briefly.

"I've heard about your wild youth," Draco probed.

Sirius laughed. "Not as wild as yours, I'm sure. So, have you asked Ginny about this?"

"Umm, see ... errr ... I didn't ask," Draco said softly, looking out to sea.

"What was that?" Sirius asked, sure that he didn't hear him right.

"I didn't ask, okay!?!" Draco said defensively. "I just went ahead with the charm when she was sleeping yesterday morning. We had talked about a commitment, so I assumed she'd be thrilled."

"Draco! You did it? Without her knowledge?" Sirius looked appalled, then gave Draco a whack on the back of the head. "You git!"

"I take it that was the wrong move," Draco said, rubbing the back of his head.

"Yeah. First, it's her body! You have no right to mess with it without her permission. Second, it's illegal and her father is Minister of Magic. How is that going to play if the media ever gets wind that she's practicing illegal magic with her former Death Eater boyfriend?"

Draco sighed. "Guess I never looked at this in the bigger context."

Sirius buried his face in his hands and shook his head. "Draco... I suggest you apologize to her as soon as you can and volunteer to remove it."

"You can't, and I'm not apologizing. She threw me out and I think it's probably over anyway. If I swear I don't love her anymore, the charm burns off."

"Yeah, but that's a hell of a way to make it up to her."

"I shouldn't have to make anything up to her. I was trying to give her something that showed I was committed to her. But she won't say that she loves me, she won't let me give her anything that means commitment, and she won't marry me, so what the hell was I supposed to do?"

"Ask her if she wanted the charm!" Sirius said in an exasperated tone.

Draco threw up his hands. "Forget it. I didn't do anything wrong. I've had five different women in my life ask for the charm. I was doing her a great honor and if she doesn't appreciate it then she doesn't appreciate me."

"Draco. Stop it. She just needed to be asked. It's her body."

"Right." Draco stormed off. Sirius took a deep breath.

Sirius sought out Cordelia to see what she thought, but Cordelia was immersed in a report she needed to review and ordered him out of the study of the yacht. So Sirius went back to pacing. He'd resumed his laps around the deck when he saw the outline of the bleak island rising ahead on the horizon. It wasn't raining, but it was a grey day, like most in this part of the country. He stood at the rail and watched the prison loom up in front of him. He felt it advancing on him. It felt much more like it was reaching out to suck him in. Sirius shook his head. That was ludicrous. The boat is approaching it. We are coming to the prison. It's inert. He recited the words Dr. Huebner had said on the phone that morning.

"It has only the power you choose to give it. If you let it take you, it will. But remember, you don't have to let it take you. It's just stone and mortar. It may be magical and hold magical creatures, but the prison itself can't hurt you. And the people there are not allowed to hurt you anymore."

It sounded so much more convincing when she said it. So very logical. Intellectually, he knew it was just stone and mortar, and that now he was considered an honored guest of the prison. A security plan was established and he would not be left alone. Cordelia would be with him at all times, along with their security contingent. He let his breath out at this thought and thought again what a circus it was going anywhere. God, I hate this job, he thought for the thousandth time this month.

The yacht slowed and Cordelia appeared on deck and took his hand.

"It's a rather large place, isn't it?" she commented casually.

He looked at her.

"Well, I know you've told me about it, but I guess I never realized just how huge it really was."

Sirius shook his head. "It was the only wizard prison in this part of the world when I was one of its tenants."

"Were there that many wizarding criminals?"

"Back then, everyone who didn't conform was considered a criminal. There were no trials. There was no justice. I've told you all that."

"Yes, you have. I'm sorry for sounding ignorant. It just takes a bit to put it all together."

Sirius shrugged. "Come on. Let's get this over with."

The security team surrounded them as they docked. Sirius took a deep breath and took a step forward, reckoning that he had to move forward to get this day finished.

"Sirius ... you're crushing my hand."

"Oh, sorry. I guess I'm a bit nervous."

"But you've been here once since . . . " her voice trailed off.

"Yes, but never with you. I feel like I need to protect myself from this place, but more importantly I need to protect you," Sirius explained.

"That's what they're here for. You know that," she said gesturing all around them.

"Intellectually, I know that. And yes, they will protect your body. But it's my job to protect your mind and your soul. You can't know the magical hazards. Hell, you can't even see some of them."

"I know, but really, Sirius ... we are very well-protected here. Security can handle the magic as well."

"I'd agree if Colin were here. But he's not--because of this piece of vermin you are required to come see and feel sorry for."

Cordelia took a deep breath. Sirius could tell she was biting her tongue. "Will I be able to see the Dementors? Will the wedding charm work for them?"

"I don't know. I imagine it would, but you do still have trouble with some things, so who knows?"

"All right."

*************

The Warden's VIP security team ushered Sirius, Cordelia, Draco and their security force into the large suite that comprised the Warden's office and conference room. The security teams split off and adjourned to a conference room, leaving Sirius, Cordelia, and Draco in the sitting area of the Warden's Office.

"Coffee, anyone?" Draco asked.

"Please," responded Cordelia immediately.

"No, thank you," mumbled an obviously distracted Sirius.

"We just need to get this over with, Sirius," Cordelia said in a tired voice.

"I know that, but I don't have to like it."

"Fine," sighed Cordelia as she took a cup from Draco and slumped into a chair by the fire.

Draco could feel the tension between them. His was not in a comfortable position, but he now understood why Sirius had asked him to come along on this adventure. For now, he stood out of the way and decided the best course of action was to keep his mouth shut and his wand ready. He wasn't part of the security team, but he thought his role would be additional protection. Feeling the undercurrents in the room, however, he realized he might be there to protect Sirius and Cordelia from each other as much as from dangers in the prison.

The warden rushed in with a stack of files in his arms. "Got to get the bloody monthly reports to the Minister by tomorrow. He decides to make a surprise visit and wants to review the top cases, which, of course, includes your Mr. Peregrine. On top of the minister's visit, and your bloody visit, no offence Deputy, sir, but the wing Mr. Malfoy's father occupied came down with a case of the creeping locks. Someone managed to charm the locks so that they randomly change doors every so often. While this is a common, silly trick the prisoners like to play, when they can fashion a rudimentary wand, it necessitates clearing a ward and doing the counter charm on all the doors at once, which opens all the locks."

Sirius looked up. "Prisoners fashion their own wands?"

"Well, they don't really work right, do they? They can't manage any real spells, but tricky, foolish little spells like the creeping locks and slippery floor, that sort of thing, they might be capable of, if they were a strong wizard before. We confiscate them, of course, as soon as they're found. It really hasn't been a problem, except when we have to juggle the prisoners. Things tend to get crowded. Luckily for me there were cells available. Your father was actually rather helpful --" the warden nodded at Draco "-- in that he agreed to share a cell with Mr. Peregrine. He said they had a connection from way back and he might be able to help out there. I was grateful, certainly. It almost makes me think your family might not be rotten to the bone, after all."

"Gosh, thank you very much, Warden Stone, I appreciate the sentiment," Draco said sarcastically.

The warden went on, oblivious to the insult. "Most prisoners don't want anything to do with that ward. You know, with the Dementors and all, but Mr. Malfoy ...they don't seem to bother him."

Draco could feel the blood drain from his head. "Are you telling me you put my father in with your Dementors?"

"I'm sorry, I know most relatives don't want to see their loved ones like that, but he asked to go..."

"Of course he asked to go. He knows controlling and enslavement spells. He should be in isolation! You just gave him a set of allies that will follow his every whim, not to mention Peregrine!"

Sirius had joined the conversation when he heard Draco's voice rise. "I'd heard rumors of dark magic that will control Dementors. I reckoned Voldemort had some hold on them."

"Well, Father knows all about them. Dark creatures were one of his domains, while the Dark Lord ruled and The Circle kept him in charge." Draco turned his attention back to the Warden, shaking his head in disgust. Sometimes the good guys were idiots.

"What the hell were you thinking, agreeing to any of my father's requests? Don't you understand how dangerous that is? He always has an ulterior motive. He doesn't have one of those rudimentary wands, does he?"

"I hardly think --"

"Yes, you hardly think, warden -- "

"Now wait just one minute, young man..."

"Draco, back off," Sirius cut off the argument, at some level glad to take control of something. "We have to get through this, and now we get to visit your dear father as well as Peregrine. It will be your job to neutralize any trouble your father stirs up while we're there."

"So you want me to blast my own father?"

"No. I want you to be aware of what he might do and his motives for doing it. Remember, you are our dark magic expert. You know what he knows. Most of the dark magic you were taught as a child, we've never even conceived of. This place is chock full of evil and dark magic..."

The warden began to protest. Sirius ignored him and continued instructing Draco.

"You were brought to keep your eyes and ears open. Now at least we know the potential threat and we are equipped, because you're here, to deal with that threat.

Draco looked from the warden to Sirius. "Yes, sir."

The security team had reassembled and was arranging the order of who would walk in front of whom going down to the ward. It was to be the prison security team, Draco, Cordelia and Sirius, followed by the Deputy Chancellor's Security personnel who had come with Sirius.

Apprehension gripped Draco's stomach as they wound their way down into the prison. The prison team was only five wizards and two witches. Jared had brought only four wizards from the DC Security team. Not enough, he thought, against his father and who knows how many Dementors. He didn't even want to think about Lucius with a wand. Down and down they went, getting further from daylight and warmth. Cold was seeping up from the lower levels, and the green serpentine walls began to get damp, and leak icy water. What on earth was Father thinking, asking to be relocated with Peregrine? Draco knew it probably had something to do with taking control and getting Peregrine to give him information about what was going on outside. As they walked down the icy corridors, Draco began to sort through the possible twists and turns this visit could take once they reached Peregrine's cell, and none of them gave him a good feeling.

He almost forgot about the discord between Sirius and Cordelia. His concentration was broken when Cordelia commented on the chill and the feeling of desperation. He was about to agree when Sirius lashed out.

"I don't want to hear about it. I lived it for twelve years and it really doesn't need to be pointed out to me."

Cordelia bit her lip, and glanced at Draco. Draco shrugged and kept his mouth shut.

Sirius pressed ahead, walking in front of them both so quickly he nearly outpaced the prison team. But the security wizards made a strong phalanx in front, so they would be first in the line of any potential trouble.

Draco thought about going after him, but before he could move to reign Sirius back in, they arrived at their destination. The prison team spread out into strategic positions facing the cell, while Sirius' team slipped in between them facing Sirius, far enough in front of the bars that they could not be reached by the prisoners. Draco swore he heard mumbling coming from the cell, but couldn't distinguish the words.

Peregrine huddled in the far corner of the cell. Eight Dementors were scattered around their cell, not clustered but seemingly operating as a unit. Lucius Malfoy approached from the darkest part of the cell. He never even glanced at the Dementors. They hesitated when he moved, and turned their bodies toward him, following him as he strode toward the visitors.

"Ah, my dear Deputy Chancellor," Lucius scoffed, his voice full of contempt. "And his apprentice." His eyes narrowed and lip curled in distaste as he regarded his only son. "I had such hope for you. You could have had anything you wanted and here you are ... lapdog for a figurehead, an ineffectual figurehead who can't even protect his own family at that. Now you're signed on to help him? I'm very disappointed. Then your mother tells me you're fucking that Weasley whore. Frankly, I'm afraid you might catch something. Have you had her scanned for disease?"

Draco's hands balled into tight fists. He gripped his wand tighter, trying not to use it. He surreptitiously took deep breaths and forced himself to ignore the insults and remain calm. "Nice to see you again, Father."

Sirius spoke up, "We didn't come to see you, Lucius. I can get your status here changed, if you'd rather be in the dungeons with the banshees."

"Oh yes, that's right. You like to play musical cells here. I didn't realize it was your responsibility to micromanage the prison system, in addition to your myriad of other extremely important duties. What exactly is it that you do when you're not playing chess with prisoners?"

Sirius took a deep breath and tried not to rise to the bait. "Peregrine! Come over here."

"Are you sure you want to speak to him? He's a bit incoherent. He's been babbling about leopards and keeps asking me to check him for claws. He's been quite delirious. Particularly when my friends get too close to his section of the cell." Lucius indicated the Dementors when he said 'friends,' and the dark, hooded figures drew closer behind him.

Draco suddenly felt the cold that flowed past Lucius and penetrated his cloak. He glanced over and saw Cordelia was backed against the far wall looking quite pale, and that even Sirius had stepped back. The security team were all still in their defensive positions, but something didn't seem right with the prison guards. They looked as if they were concentrating very hard, yet ... Draco couldn't put his finger on it, but something was not right.

Draco moved toward Sirius, wanting to warn him that they should leave.

"I see you've gathered your pets. I thought you weren't allowed to practice magic in here," Sirius taunted.

Lucius sneered. "Did I say it was magic? I just have a magnetic personality."

While Sirius and Lucius faced off, Jared had moved over to check on Cordelia.

"Are you all right, Cordelia?" the security team leader asked gently.

Draco blanched. He knew Jared should not be checking on Cordelia, he should be paying attention to Peregrine and to Lucius in particular.

"Ummm, is everyone else cold?" Cordelia asked, hesitating.

"Can you see them, Mrs. Black?" Jared asked.

"I see some wisps of fog, but no, I don't see anything but the two prisoners."

"You can always feel the presence of these things. They remove warmth and heat from a room," Jared explained.

"Oh, but I'm just toasty," Lucius commented, wandering toward the back of the cell. "You just have to know the right things to think about around these pets."

Cordelia gathered her courage and moved slightly away from the wall. "Peregrine! I need to see you. We need to check to see if I've infected you."

No response came from the depths of the cell.

"Peregrine! We need to see you." Sirius commanded.

Draco saw the concerned look Sirius shot Cordelia, but she seemed to be holding on. She looked as if she was very, very weary, but she was still standing, and she wasn't crying. Sirius was just pale. He looked as if he was enduring, and trying to maintain a tenuous hold on control of the situation. Draco glanced back at Peregrine. The pile of rags huddled in the corner stirred. He slid along the wall until he was in the far corner from Lucius and the Dementors, which were now pressed against the bars that divided the two cells. Draco thought he heard mumbling again, and glanced at the prison guards. They looked strong, but didn't seem right.

Sirius moved toward Peregrine. "We were instructed to come here and determine if you were infected. Have you been having any lycanthropic symptoms?"

Peregrine straightened himself up, glanced at Lucius, and shrugged his shoulders back. "I should, with what she did to me," he spit, raising his robe to show a large, angry welt where his wound was still healing.

"Yes, but have you felt anything besides the wound?" Cordelia asked, creeping forward toward the cell.

Peregrine turned his attention to Cordelia, "What if I had? What kind of punishment is waiting for you, if you infected me? Will they cage you for a month or more? Will they beat you? No. You're the wife of the Deputy Chancellor. You probably got off with something minor like banishment. What kind of hardship is that, with your estate up north? Hell, you even have people who can hunt with you. What a pampered life you lead, Mrs. Black."

Cordelia was looking down.

"No!" barked Sirius, moving closer to the bars. "Don't you dare make her feel guilty for defending me and everyone else that night. It's not her fault you thought murder was an acceptable way to maintain your lifestyle!"

Draco heard a hissed command, and saw his father produce a wand from his cloak. The prison guards all looked in unison towards Lucius. "Sirius!" Draco called, but it was too late. Peregrine had lunged forward and grabbed Sirius; the prison guards had reacted and seized Cordelia. Draco hid his wand and stepped back from the cells.

Peregrine began to laugh, but maintained composure enough to order the DC Security staff to drop their weapons threatening to kill Sirius. He flexed fingers that had changed into sharp claws.

The DC Security team looked to Sirius, then to Draco. Sirius nodded. Damn, thought Draco, Colin would never have made these mistakes. The first thing they learn about hostage situations is never surrender your wand. The team dropped their weapons, and the prison guards collected them.

"I guess that answers that question," Draco heard Sirius mumble, as Peregrine gripped Sirius tighter.

The prison guard unlocked the cells containing Peregrine, Lucius and the Dementors, and roughly shoved Cordelia into the Dementors' cell. One Dementor remained in the cell, while the rest of the Dementors glided out. Lucius whispered something into the remaining creature's hood and they saw a nod.

"Are you with us, Draco? I let you remain free, but if you're going to stay with them, I can lock you in there as well." Lucius was standing at the door of his old cell.

"I guess I'm with you. It's their only hope, surely you see that. Now you have to figure out if you trust me or not."

"Of course I don't trust you." Lucius sneered at his son. "You betrayed me once and have done nothing .... NOTHING to redeem yourself! I expected you here within a month after my capture begging my forgiveness. Surely I didn't raise such a turncoat. This is your last chance to prove yourself to me, Draco. A chance to make your mother proud as well! We're going to get her next. Then we sail off on the Deputy Chancellor's yacht and the let the prison guard cover our trail."

"So, do I go with you and sound the alarm as soon as I see the warden?"

"No. If you come with us, your Mother is my guarantee that you behave yourself. You betray me before we're on the ship and I kill her."

Draco tried not to let the surprise show on his face. He knew his father was ruthless, but he didn't think he was capable of killing Mother. "I'll go with you. If only to keep an eye on you. I don't trust you, either."

"Come on then, Peregrine. Leave your pet there. He has to stay in the cell with the mean old Dementor. But then, he won't mind -- he's been here before." Lucius began to laugh. Peregrine released Sirius, who spun and launched himself at Peregrine, who went down with a thunk. But the Dementor was suddenly there, lifting Sirius off Peregrine, leaning over Sirius.

Draco could see the terror on Sirius' face. He also saw that Cordelia saw it as well and saw Cordelia moving toward Sirius. Suddenly Sirius transformed, and the creature found it difficult to maintain a grip on the large, black dog. But even the dog was not immune to the Dementors' chill. Draco could see the huge black dog shaking from nose to tail.

"Don't change!" Draco yelled to Cordelia. "Then you're both helpless."

Cordelia nodded, but he could tell she was having trouble maintaining control. Her fists were clenched and her breathing was deep, but rapid. If she didn't change, she might hyperventilate into a faint. "Damn."

The prison guard outnumbered Sirius' security. Lucius had control of the Dementors and the guards, and his mother's life was being used to keep him in line. Fabulous, just fabulous, Draco thought. He knew he should go with Lucius to keep track of him. "This creature has orders to perform a kiss on these two when we leave, doesn't he?" Draco asked Lucius.

"Of course. Otherwise there are messy witnesses to explain what happened."

"What about these others?" asked Draco, gesturing to the security crew.

"Stupify," shouted Lucius, as the DC security team fell limp

"And the prison guards?"

"Memory charms. I plant the seed in their minds that I am the Deputy Chancellor and all is well. They escort me safely to my ship."

"I see. Why don't you memory charm me?"

"You've got too keen a brain to be messing about with that. I raised you and trained you. I know what you could be, Draco! You have such potential! I know I made a grave mistake allowing Allegra to play with you and use you like she did. She didn't like to share power and she didn't like people who were smarter than she is. She is an amazing leader, but you, Draco ... you. You were the only one that might pose a serious threat to The Master. We can work against Allegra. The two of us could overthrow her with ease."

"Then what?! We still call another wizard Master. Don't you ever get tired of being subservient to some power-hungry lunatic?" Draco asked.

"I'm just biding my time until they call me Master," Lucius answered confidently.

Draco shook his head. "I thought it was me you would set up to be Master."

Lucius smiled, "Well, yes, but ... you don't think I could ever call my own son Master?'

"So you would be, what? Grand Supreme Mugwump? I thought Dumbledore retired that position."

"Are you coming or not, son? I'm growing impatient."

"No, I don't think I am, Father. I can't leave these two here to have the life sucked out of them. They have kids and they really do a pretty good job of keeping peace in the wizarding world. I'm starting to see that peace just might be better than control."

Lucius spat on he ground. "Control is the only way, Draco, and power is the only way to maintain control."

"Right. So do the memory charm and get the hell out of here," Draco said, resigned.

Lucius's wand was raised, as Draco looked him squarely in the eye. They both froze for a long moment. Draco wondered if he could wait him out. He had no hope of Lucius caving on the memory charm; he knew Lucius was simply weighing his alternatives. Calculating the right spell to use. Deciding between a partial or complete memory overhaul. Draco hoped he'd remember who he was, but realized nothing was guaranteed. What the hell. He broke the gaze and rolled his eyes.

Draco was about to tell his father to cut out the dithering, just to get it over with, when a blast came from deep within the cell. The black dog had vanished and in its place was an enraged Sirius. His first spell knocked Lucius down and sent his wand flying across the corridor.

This gave Draco an opportunity to cast a Patronus charm to ward off the Dementors that were advancing towards him, then revive the DC Security team with enervate charms. But then Draco turned to see the Dementors, repelled by the effervescent dragon that was Draco's Patronus, surrounding Peregrine. Peregrine began to shriek.

Lucius rolled, grabbed his wand and tried to cast, but none of his spells found his target. He should have remembered that he had taught his son to be particularly good at dodging and blocking spells, Draco thought grimly as he dodged the attacks. Lucius' curses bounced through the stone corridor striking random prison security guards, taking out more than half of the contingent. Meanwhile Sirius's Patronus, a large, silver dog, was snarling and was warding off the Dementor that was harassing Cordelia.

The DC team was struggling to their feet. "Need help, Sirius!" yelled Draco, jumping out of the way of another curse.

"Stupefy! Expelliarmus!" cast Sirius, and Lucius was finally rendered quiet.

Draco picked up the wand Lucius had seized and slipped it into his pocket.

With Lucius unable to control the remaining prison guards, they stood down and dropped their wands. Sirius ordered his own security team to disarm the guards. Jared hesitated, as did his team, as this would bring them closer to the Dementors who were surrounding Peregrine.

Suddenly it was quiet as Peregrine ceased screaming. He stood panting, as everyone looked at him. He stood quietly for a few long moments, then he began to laugh.

Draco glanced at Sirius. He could see the naked pain in Sirius' eyes. He suspected Sirius understood the laughter.

Peregrine sobered. "Go on, get it over with. Kill me now, Black. You know you want to! I know you've been looking for a reason for months now. You have your opportunity, just do it." The Dementors moved closer to him and he began to shriek again.

Sirius appeared to be fighting back the desire to do just that. He fingered his wand and eyed Peregrine. He glanced back at Cordelia, who was crouching in the corner farthest from the Dementor that was in the cell with her. Her head was down, but Draco could hear her crying. Draco caught his breath, realizing he wanted to kill not just Peregrine but also Lucius, yet knew that wouldn't be such a good idea. Still, he mentally ran down a list of painful dark curses that he knew he shouldn't use, and took a deep breath.

He bowed to Sirius, indicating the decision was his. Sirius raised his wand. Before a curse came out, Lucius rolled over and threw a fireball at Peregrine, who instantly burst into flames. Reflexively, Draco turned and flung a similar ball of flame at Lucius. He didn't think -- he just acted. Lucius dodged the blaze, but immediately recoiled from a paralyzing spell cast by Sirius. The DC Security sprinted into position between the crumpled Death Eater and the Deputy Chancellor.

Sirius briskly took command, ordering one of his guard to alert the warden. Draco rounded up the keys. The DC Security team was suddenly everywhere, pushing Dementors back into their cell, securing locks. Draco caught his breath, relieved to let the others take over.

He dropped back and slid down the wall, staring at the scene. He'd come within a centimeter of not just killing his father, but incinerating him. He gazed at Lucius lying on the ground. His father's body was inert, but his cold eyes were fixed on Draco.

Draco felt numb. He stared at his father. The overwhelming ache of betrayal and alienation, that he'd felt in the woods when he escaped the Circle, welled up inside of him. Once again, he felt raw and exposed, and this time, he was completely unsure whether what he had nearly done was right or wrong. All he could do was sit and stare at the man who had raised him to be the way he was. The man who had taught him that power was everything and control was the only good. Draco remembered Lucius teaching him that there were different qualities of people. There were high-quality people, pure bloods, whose lives were worth more than other classes. There were pure bloods like Sirius who had forfeited their right to a decent life because they defended mudbloods and other riff-raff. Then there were the completely useless people whose only purpose was to serve and be expended. Their lives were meaningless. Lucius had taught him all that. Draco had fought hard to change his way of thinking, but right now he couldn't think. He was appalled at himself, and at Lucius.

Finally he looked over at Sirius, who was crouched in the cell, holding Cordelia. She was sobbing, but was rising to her feet with Sirius's help. A contingent of prison guards had arrived and Sirius was explaining why some of their own were now locked in a cell. Draco absently noticed the warden also arriving, and heard the sharp intake of breath as the shock of the scene registered in the man's rather small brain.

"Mr. Malfoy! Why are you on the floor like that?" Then the warden's attention turned to Sirius. "What have you done to them? I didn't expect you to kill Mr. Peregrine! Was that what you had in mind when you came down here?"

Even from his detached numbness, Draco could see Sirius seethe. Sirius brushed the warden aside wordlessly, guided Cordelia in front of him and glanced back at Draco as if to ask whether he was coming or staying. Draco rose and followed obediently. He didn't trust himself in his father's presence, and knew whatever he said would be contradicted by Lucius. It was useless to even try to straighten it all out. In a fog Draco moved through the prison and onto the yacht.

Once at sea, Draco left Sirius a note, requested leave from security, and Apparated back to his flat.

*********

Draco arrived on the landing outside his door just as Ginny was coming up the stairs. He groaned, as he didn't feel like dealing with anyone, least of which Ginny. The last time he'd seen her she threw him out. He still thought what he had done to her was good, and she thought it was evil. He didn't want to have to reconcile good and evil right now. That was beyond him at the moment.

"This just isn't a good time, Ginny. Go home," Draco said in a flat tone.

"That's a hell of a hello, now, isn't it?" Ginny responded, obviously not getting the hint.

"Yes, it is. It's been a long day and I really don't think I'd be very good company tonight. Besides, I thought you hated me for the tattoo."

"I'm reconsidering. You look beat. Anything I can do to make it better? I can lie about naked and feed you grapes," she offered cheerily.

That brought a slight smile to his lips, but he still wasn't interested. "No. I don't think even that would help tonight. So the tattoo hasn't been removed yet?"

Ginny shook her head. "No, not yet. But we do need to talk about it."

Draco took a deep breath. "Fine, but not tonight," he said without elaborating.

"So I can't help, then?" Ginny asked, looking a bit lost.

"No, you can't. I have to sort this out on my own," he insisted.

"Friends are supposed to help each other out in times like this. You know that, don't you?"

Draco barked a defeated laugh. "Friends? There we are again. I'm your friend. That's all, eh? I don't quite rank high enough to be a lover?"

Ginny looked surprised. "Of course you are, but you're a friend as well. I care about you."

"Yes, you care, but you can't love me because of who I was. Look, Ms. Weasley, I'm tired of your semantic games. I'm tired of trying to figure out the rules for being a good guy. I'm tired of trying so hard just to be your fucking friend, and I mean that literally. I'm ready to be evil Draco again, as that is what I obviously am. I thought I'd sussed the good guy rules, but today I nearly incinerated my Father. So, if you don't mind, I just want to be alone with my evil thoughts, and my dark magic, and brew some illegal potions for a change. I know quite a good mood enhancing one and I think that's on my agenda tonight. Alone. I'll call if I ever decide to be a good guy again, as you obviously would want nothing to do with the evil Draco. Good night."

With that he stomped into his flat, slammed the door in Ginny's face, picked up a vase and threw it against the wall.

***

Ginny was left with her mouth open. She didn't know what to make of the crash she'd heard, but she was genuinely worried Draco might do something rash tonight. She Apparated home and sat down with some leftover turkey, but as she thought more and more about it, she decided she couldn't just leave it. She thought she could help him. She headed to the door of her flat half a dozen times. Each time she hesitated. She realized that she had to be able to offer him unconditional love if she was going to help. And if she couldn't do that, it was over between them. She kept holding herself back, as she'd always done with him. But then she'd think about having another man in her life. She couldn't picture it. It just wasn't right. While she could picture herself alone in her flat, she couldn't admit to it being a permanent arrangement. She always saw it as temporary.

Ginny changed her clothes each time she turned back from her door. She tried the sexy look, the sophisticated look, the business look, the preppy jeans look. Finally she said to hell with it and threw on a pair of trainer pants and an old jumper. She thought if it came to blows she could move around best in these clothes.

Finally, Ginny made it out the door, and Apparated to the landing in front of Draco's flat. He had given her the spell for the wards and she quietly entered. He was slouched on his black leather couch, in the dark, in front of a fire.

Ginny swallowed hard and gathered up her courage. "I'm here to help you, because I love you, and I can't imagine life with anyone else. I don't care if you're the good Draco, or the evil Draco, although the good Draco would be an easier sell to my family. The hell with them, I want you and I love you, and the tattoo is pretty cool, too. Now what the fuck did you mean when you said you nearly incinerated your father? I thought you went to see Peregrine -- now there's one that deserves to be incinerated."

"He was," Draco said quietly, without looking up from the fire.

"What? Oh no! Sirius did it?"

"No, actually Lucius did it."

"What? What was he doing there? Why did he incinerate Peregrine?"

"Probably because Peregrine was an idiot and my father really can't stand idiots, or maybe it was to stop the damn shrieking. Which, if that was the case, I applaud him."

"I see," Ginny said quietly, deciding not to ask any more questions.

"So, after he incinerated the most worthless scum, who absolutely deserved such a fate," Draco continued. "My good guy instinct jumps into the fray and wields dark magic like it was no big deal to incinerate one's own father, and like it was my place to judge his actions."

"You know it wasn't, right?" Ginny gently suggested.

"Yes, Ginny ... it has sunk in that we good guys aren't supposed to take revenge, when possible. We're supposed to let the system handle it." He said this last part in a mocking sing-song voice.

"Well, the point rather is that you didn't kill him, and you are still a good guy, and Peregrine is dead. All's well that ends well." Ginny dusted off her hands, like that was the end of that.

Draco just looked at her blackly.

"What? You're going to inflict deep emotional scars because you did what was instinctive to you? What you had been bred to do? I think that you took your instinct and used against the bad guy shows growth, don't you?"

"Growth?" he asked obviously confused.

"Yes. It shows that you were trying to stop more senseless killing or acts of revenge, or whatever you want to call it."

Draco continued to stare into the fire. "So you're telling me you don't think of me as evil, and because of that you can come here, finally admit, without coercion that you do love me, and that you still think of me as a good guy?"

Ginny came over, sat next to Draco, and took his hand. "No. What I'm saying is that I do love you and it doesn't matter whether you're the good Draco or evil Draco. I think the evil Draco is fighting a losing battle, and that, if I'm following what happened today correctly, you are well on your way to changing an instinct for revenge and power to an instinct for protecting the good and stopping evil."

"All that?"

"Yes." Ginny confirmed.

They sat silently holding hands for more than an hour while the fire burned. Ginny finally shifted. "Now about that tattoo..."

"You want it removed?" Draco asked. Ginny thought his anger just might have drained away by now.

"Teach me the spell," Ginny asked energetically, as she pulled her wand from her pocket.

He looked at her for a long moment. "It's dark magic," he cautioned.

"Which you didn't seem to hesitate to use on me," she said haughtily.

He shrugged. "It's not really bad dark magic."

"Teach me the spell, Draco," Ginny asked impatiently.

"Or what?"

"Or I will go to St. Mungo's, have yours removed, and tell everyone who did it and how."

"Great, and after today between using the amortiscribulous, and nearly incinerating my father, I can join him in the cell next door and we can reminisce about old times ... if he doesn't kill me first. I swear on Merlin's spell-book that I thought you'd like the tattoo," Draco insisted.

"Then teach me the spell."

"I assume you want to tattoo me then?"

"Damn straight."

Draco sighed. "Fine. Can I choose what and where?"

"Did I get that choice?"

"No."

"Then neither do you," Ginny said, matter-of-factly.

"Ummm, the arm is a good place, or back. I always fancied having a dragon on my back."

Ginny laughed at his belief that he'd still get a choice. She looked him over slowly, contemplating just where her artwork would be most effective. An evil idea emerged in her thoughts and she quite liked it indeed. For the first time in quite awhile, Draco looked nervous. "I think I'm going to put it in a very sensitive spot. That way if we do break it off, it will be more difficult for you to have sex right away."

"Oh no, you don't. I know what you're thinking and I won't let you put the thing there. You really are ticked off about this, aren't you?"

"Yes, but I suppose I'll settle for your hip. Okay, tell me how you do this."

Half an hour later, Draco had a very artistic monogram, that looked like a series of Celtic knots, with initials woven through.

"What is it?" Draco asked, trying to get a good look at it.

"It's my monogram. It's the same one I use for my sealing ring," Ginny explained.

Draco smiled a bit. "It's not too bad, really."

Ginny took a deep breath. "No, it's not."

He pulled her close. "So you do love me, good or evil?"

She looked up at him, surprised. "Yeah, I guess."

He took her face between his hands and held it gently. "I do love you. Thanks for coming back. I needed a distraction." He kissed her as he slid her sweats down, baring her thighs. "Let me see it." He moved her onto the sofa so she lay across his lap. Draco looked over his handiwork for a long time, tracing it over and over. He ran his other hand up and down Ginny's leg.

Then he stretched out beside her and she found his tattoo and traced it as well. Her fingers tingled with the warmth. He pulled her closer, wrapping one leg around them. She was being kissed to within an inch of her life and could tell this was quickly going to progress. She tried to speak, then cleared her throat, and pulled away from his mouth, as it slipped down her throat. "Should we go into the bedroom?"

He glanced up. "This is fine."

"No it's not, it's uncomfortable."

"Okay," he said as he untwined his legs from hers.

"Promise me something?"

"What?"

She looked directly into his eyes. "That you will never think about doing anything to me again without my permission. Got it?"

"Yes ma'am." He saluted, then laughed.

They turned and headed to the bedroom. "May I touch your arse, oh beloved one?" Draco asked in an overly polite tone.

"Yes, you may touch my arse, if you want to, but you may not touch my breasts without sucking on them first," she countered, laughing.

He began to caress her arse, then said, "You should be asking my permission as well, shouldn't you?"

"May I run my tongue up your cock?" asked Ginevra Molly Weasley, very politely.

Draco shook his head. "No, because it's going to be busy elsewhere. You'll just need to keep your oral fixation to yourself for now."

Ginny laughed, as he pushed her to the bed.

"May I fuck you?" he asked softly into her throat.

"Only if you do it slow and hard," she murmured in his ear.

"I can manage that, I think."

As he slid over her, their tattoos pressed together. A searing heat scorched both of them and, startled, they rolled apart.

"What the hell was that?" Ginny yelled, her eyes wide as she rubbed the tattoo.

"I have no bloody idea. I've never heard of this spell doing that before," Draco said, puzzled.

"I thought it would only burn if you didn't love me."

"That's the way it was explained to me. I've seen the tattoo applied and the result of its removal, but I've never had one. Remember, as far as I was told they were only intended for women."

"Shit, Draco. What are we going to do about this?" Ginny was feeling a bit panicked.

"I guess we need to research this."

"NO! I am NOT asking Hermione's help on this."

"Don't start! Besides Hermione is off finding herself, from what I hear. Harry really lost it, didn't he?" Draco said, eyeing his tattoo suspiciously.

"Yeah, George told me about his hospitalization and that Hermione left him. God, that's depressing."

Draco waved off the subject, "Yes, yes, terribly sad, now what about these lesions we've inflicted on each other?"

"We could try it again. How bad was the burn on yours?" Ginny asked, touching it gently.

Draco shrugged. "Not all that bad, but I was surprised."

"Yeah, that's what I felt, too. You could try to assault me, and if the pain gets bad ..."

"We can turn it into your first sadomasochistic experience," Draco joked.

"Being with you is a sadomasochistic experience, Draco," she said sarcastically.

Draco bowed his head, "I take that as a high compliment, Ms. Weasley."

He pulled her to him again and rolled over onto her. He began with a kiss and ran his hands down along her body. She responded as her hands explored his tattoo again, and then wandered over to stroke and trace him. He licked his way down her body and nipped at her tattoo, before exploring her thoroughly with his tongue and teeth.

Ginny was pulling him back up and whispering erotic pleas to the top of his head when he rested his hip against hers. The heat ignited instantly, but it eased before the pain got too intense. He went that one step further and made himself comfortable with their hips pressed together and entered her.

The warmth permeated up through his belly and wrapped around his heart like smoky tendrils. His heart felt wide open and felt like it would beat in unison with hers. He felt that warmth snake up to his brain and steal his inhibitions. Not that he was all that inhibited around her, but he felt like he lost even that reticence that he tried to maintain, either through habit or self-preservation. It was gone and he felt all the passion, need, compulsion, fear, and obsession he had for this woman reveal itself to him and, he thought, probably to her. As he stayed still just a bit longer and reached out just a bit more, he could swear he felt her fear and excitement. He tried to think something at her, but she didn't respond verbally. She did respond physically and emotionally. He felt her confusion, but at that moment he also felt in her a determination to see this to completion, in addition to arousal, excitement, and even love. With that thought he noticed she pressed her hips tighter to his and urged him on with her hands stroking his buttocks.

He let himself feel and explore her body and her heart, and felt himself carried away by both. He tried to appreciate the rising tide of arousal his own body was succumbing to, but he knew somehow that her body was doing the same. The fact that they could feel this in each other seemed to enhance the experience just that much more. Before he knew it he was driving into her and she was pushing him toward a completion that he was nearly afraid of. She was rasping his back and her hips were rising over and over, until finally she cried out and he finished this experiment in a blinding rush of sweat, clenched muscles, and mutual ecstatic exclamations. He couldn't remember a more intense experience. Even with her. Most of their experiences had been rather intense, but he never bargained for this intimate a connection. He wasn't sure he liked her in his brain during sex. He rolled off of her, maintaining touch, but lost in his own thoughts for the moment.

Ginny rose up on her elbows, and threw her head back, tossing her hair down her back. "Okay, that was scary."

"Holy Merlin, it was, wasn't it. I need to find out more about that spell."

"God, yes. There must be implications beyond the heat and the empathetic connections," Ginny said, sitting up all the way.

"Maybe yes, maybe no. It could be we just happened on something that was never intended. It was never considered harmful, as far as I know. I always heard of it in terms of honoring your chosen one."

"Am I your chosen one?" Ginny asked, smiling.

"Looks that way, doesn't it. Am I yours?"

"I was seriously considering it before your adventures in tattooing." Ginny flopped back on the bed.

Draco raised his eyebrow and rolled onto his side, propping himself on an elbow, he looked at her.

Ginny continued. "It makes me doubtful that I can trust you, but also after that experience, it makes me worry that you really have ruined me for anyone else."

Draco smiled, rather self-satisfied. "Then I've accomplished my goal. My intent was to make you feel like you were mine. But I'll take 'with me because I'm the best' as readily as I'll take 'I want you alone.' Either way, you don't want anyone else, and that is what I was trying to accomplish."

"You bastard ..." Ginny hit him in the chest, but she was smiling. He gathered her into his arms and tucked her against him, molding his body to hers. He was frightened. He could feel her fear as well. The connection had been unbelievably intimate. It was much more intimate letting someone into your mind than into your body. He thought he could handle his feelings for her and he thought he could still have some semblance of control over himself when he was with her. With this connection, he felt like he was at her mercy. But at the same time, he knew she wasn't aware of the control she had over him. Risking your life in a duel or an attack was nothing. In that circumstance, he had control. He knew he could beat just about anyone in a contest of magical ability. This was entirely different. She could feel his thoughts, when they made love. He knew that some of those thoughts would not be acceptable to her. He knew he wasn't completely used to doing the right thing, rather than doing what would serve him. If she detected that in him, she'd be gone. If he didn't do what was right, she'd leave and take this magic with her. The problem was he fed his soul on this magic that was between them. She had seeped into him and filled up all the cold and alone places that had been ripped away by his father, and his associations with others intent on selfishness and the pursuit of power. If she took that away, he'd be hollow. He'd be weak. This was unacceptable. He could not allow her to weaken him like that. Buthis mind whispered, you know she already strengthens you, why not show her your weakness and show her how she bolsters up the structure of your humanity. He scoffed at the thought that he had much humanity left. It had gone, and it had left the holes in his soul.

Draco shifted uncomfortably, trying to puzzle this out. His first instinct was to sever their tie right away, before he got used to it and before she could see into him too deeply. But he didn't want to let this feeling go. He knew it was good and right, and it was what you were supposed to feel for a life mate. He liked the feeling of strength she gave him when all those holes were filled. His thoughts were a labyrinth of denial, disgust, hope, and that glow of love that rested in the middle of his chest and refused to leave. Ginny was already asleep. Tucked into his arms, she was soft and warm and trusting, dreaming. He stroked her hair and kissed her neck and rested his hand on her breast. The thoughts wrestled with each other and he knew that if he meant to get out of this entanglement, this was his opportunity. But he couldn't make himself get up out of this bed. He didn't want to, and the selfishness was winning out this time, but this time it was okay. This time the selfishness to keep these feelings alive seemed like the right thing to do, even though he feared it would tear him apart in the long run.

He stayed and eventually slept. He decided he really didn't have a choice, but this time he knew he was doing what was right and what was easy and what was selfish. And for the first time he realized that not everything done for the good of others was wholly without benefits.

*******

Cordelia and Sirius made it out of the prison without further incident, and without pausing to discuss or examine their latest ordeal. Cordelia knew that she couldn't absorb whatever Sirius's reaction was to their experience. She knew it might trigger flashbacks, and maybe even a breakdown, and she also knew she couldn't handle it right at this moment. She was barely staying in control. Sirius followed her into the stateroom, once they were aboard the yacht.

"We have to talk about this. If it's one thing I learned from Dr. Huebner is that you can't just keep it inside."

"Not right now, Sirius. If I start to relive what just happened, I won't be able to hold myself together, and I will change, and eat everything on this yacht. That doesn't sound like an option at the moment, so if you don't mind I'm going to lock myself in this small room. What I really need from you right now is to contact my mum, and make sure the kids are taken care of for a couple of days, then tell the captain to stop in Scotland. You can get off there, or not, but I need to go to the farm. Then, if you would, I could really use help from Remus right now."

"I can help you hunt."

"I know, but I rather you not see me like this. I don't trust myself right now and I have a feeling I won't be able to control anything this time around. I think I can manage to stay human for a few more hours, but I can't be anywhere near anything that means anything to me once the sun goes down and the moon comes up. I really need Remus to help. Can you do that for me?"

"Of course." Sirius felt depressed and useless, but realized she knew what she needed, and he'd do everything he could to give her this.

Sirius turned and left her in the room. She locked the door behind him.

Sirius made the arrangements to get Cordelia to the farm as soon as possible, and he was pouring himself a drink when Remus entered the stateroom.

"Where did you come from, and how did you get on board?" Sirius asked, surprised.

"I contacted the captain to see when you were heading home. He said you two were not looking well and you'd been diverted to Scotland. He gave me the keys to the ward and I Apparated as soon as I could."

"Want a drink?"

"Of course. What happened? Or let me ask first, what's happening?"

"Short version, Cordelia experienced Dementors and saw someone get incinerated, and feels like she's going to transform any minute and behave quite violently."

"I see. Does she want me to help her hunt when we get to the farm?"

"Yes, I was about to contact you after I had this drink." Sirius handed Remus a double shot of _____.

Remus bowed slightly, "At your service. I've been feeling a bit unstable myself."

"Are you still taking the wolfsbane potion?"

"Yes, but I didn't dose myself tonight. I've been practicing the tips that Cordelia and I have been discussing and it's a bit better."

"Good ... good."

"How are you doing? If she experienced the Dementors, I assume you did as well, and who incinerated whom?" Remus asked gently.

Sirius brushed this off. "I'm not dealing with the Dementors right now, although I'm sure my sub-conscience won't allow that to go on too long. It was Lucius Malfoy who incinerated Avian Peregrine, and like father like son, Draco nearly did the same to his father."

"Well, you had a busy day. How did Lucius get involved in all of this?"

"The damn warden wasn't thinking, and decided it wasn't such a bad idea to put an old Death Eater in with his minions, for a bit, while they repaired his cell. He obviously did poorly in history. He hadn't a clue that the Dementors were instruments of the Dark Lord in 1998, or that they had to have been controlled by someone. Apparently Lucius was used to training them, back in the day."

"Oh. I take it Draco was with you? What was he doing there?"

"With Colin out, I wanted someone there who knew about dark arts, and someone I could trust," Sirius explained, pacing the small cabin.

"You don't trust your current security chief?"

"No, and I was right. He screwed up down there, and allowed the situation to get completely out of control."

"I see. So, Draco helped?"

"Yes, he did. He made the right choice. He used the wrong method, but his intent was protecting, not destroying." Sirius sighed and looked closely at his oldest friend. "Here, sit down, I'll tell you the whole story." he handed Remus a refill, lit the fire and sat back in the large leather chair in the foredeck observatory.

As he finished the bulk of the story Sirius said, "I swear, Remus, I was about to incinerate Peregrine. I had no reason to, but I wanted to badly."

"I knew we shouldn't have messed about with so many Dark Arts spells," Remus commented, shaking his head.

"I learned that one after I got out," Sirius responded.

"Good, I have no culpability then?"

Sirius laughed, for the first time in what he realized felt like a long time. "No, I will not hold you and James liable for corrupting my soul. I think my parents did that quite well enough on their own, and Azkaban took care of anything that was left."

"Come off it, Sirius. Your soul is just fine. You've proved yourself capable of great acts of decency, courage, and love. Quite a feat for someone who was tortured, starved, abused, and banished."

"The starving was the worst."

"I know. There were times I thought I'd do just about anything for a decent meal. That is one advantage of being a werewolf. At least once a month I could hunt down something large and get a good meal without knowing how to pay for it, or where to cook it."

Sirius smiled. "Thank you for having such faith in me. I truly appreciate that. I missed that the most when I thought you were gone. After I got out of Azkaban, I relied on you for those first couple of years. It was a bit like old times, in that I knew someone out there knew me and trusted me. Then after Voldemort came back fully -- what year was that?"

"1996."

"That's right, 1996. You all thought I was dead. I thought I was as well. It really was an odd place, beyond that veil."

"You know, you've never talked about that to me," Remus said softly.

"Or to anyone," Sirius countered, looking off.

"We all assumed it was the veil between life and death."

"It is a type of death. It was a place devoid of everything. It was sensory deprivation at its finest. It was like wandering through a fog thousands of feet thick. I wandered through that fog for what felt like weeks. It just went on and on. My feet didn't feel like they were even touching solid ground. Then I came to an area of cracks in the fog. I assume that if you make the wrong choice, maybe you do go into hell, or just death, or nothingness. But it was a real place. It wasn't like I was wandering through my own imagination. It was more like discovering a void in the time-space continuum."

"Cracks in fog?" Remus asked, his voice belying the disbelief.

"Yeah, it's really the only way to describe it. The cracks were darker and they had dimension. They looked like something I could fit through, if I squeezed. It wasn't like a portal or a doorway, just a crack, or really a series of cracks. Each had a different length and shape. Some were straight, some were jagged, some were more curved, and others were branched."

"How did you choose?"

"I remember knowing I would never see any of you again. I thought I'd been alone before and survived, so I decided to survive this as well. The fog wasn't nearly as painful as Azkaban. I knew Harry knew who I was, and that I fought for his parents, not against them. I had lived those two years on the outside. I knew I could do it, and I knew that maybe there was a purpose for me. It just didn't feel like it was over. I felt like something was pushing me forward."

"You found God?"

"Maybe," Sirius shrugged.

"Do you believe in that? I mean something beyond Eternals."

"I don't know. But I've been through that nothingness and something guided me to the right crack in the nothingness."

"How do you know all the cracks didn't go to the same place?"

"I don't, and I don't think I'll ever get a chance to find out. But it was a feeling that I had that each crack would take me someplace else. I don't know if that place was a different part of the world, a different universe, a spiritual place, or eternal damnation. I'd already been to hell, so what could be worse?"

"So where did you end up?"

"Out west in the states."

Remus raised his eyebrows.

"A small town called Sedona, in the middle of Arizona. It's filled with all sorts of New Age trinkets, that Muggles think actually do something. They call it a vortex of energy, but I guess it's actually a portal of some sort. I talked to a Native American wizard while I was out there. He said there were some ancient tales of people disappearing through the stones. They're out in the desert a good hike."

"Is there a henge there?"

"No, just a rock crevice. I stepped through the crack in the fog and walked out of a crack in a solid wall of rock."

"Have you told anyone else about this?" Remus asked cautiously.

"No. It provided such good cover for those years that Harry was still in school. It allowed me to have some freedom. I could earn some money, eat, live. It helped. I moved around a bit and I helped Harry all I could."

"Did he know?"

"Not until his last year at Hogwarts."

They were interrupted as the steward entered and informed them they had docked.

They went up to the deck, and Cordelia emerged. Sirius reached out his hand to her, but she shook her head no.

"Remus Apparated. He's here for you. You two go on. I'll catch up later. Don't eat any of the horses before I get there."

Cordelia looked like she was struggling to control her emotions and her change.

"We'll be all right, Sirius," Remus said. "I can handle this."

"Thanks," Sirius and Cordelia said simultaneously. Sirius looked over and Cordelia finally met his eyes. She smiled and laughed just a little bit, but still she looked about to cry. She averted her eyes again and Remus and Cordelia stepped off the yacht, touched the portkey and were gone.

Sirius Apparated, arrived at the farm, took up guard in the stables and settled in for what looked like a long night. He didn't want to go to sleep anyway.

********

Sirius came to consciousness with his arms wrapped around a naked Cordelia. He remembered the wind and the rain and the lightning from the night before. It was just a simple thunderstorm, but it made an already stressful night colder. He had prowled the stable all night. Three times he heard Remus howl closer than he'd like. He never saw them, but he could tell they were near for much of the night. The horses survived intact. Cordelia would have killed him if she had been allowed to hurt any of them.

But they did all survive, and when the night was over and dawn began, he remembered carrying an exhausted Cordelia up to their room and tucking her beneath the quilts. Remus had found his usual room, and settled in himself for a long, restorative sleep.

Sirius moved his arm, which was falling asleep under the weight of Cordelia's body. She stirred and moved closer to him. She looked up at him and the fear and sadness in her eyes frightened him. She stared blankly at him for a long moment, then dissolved into body-wracking sobs.

"Hold me closer, I'm so cold," she said as she tried to calm herself.

Sirius wrapped his whole body around her. He had slept in warm flannel pajamas and an old sweatshirt. She reached her arms under the shirt and around his waist. Her head was buried in his chest.

"It's all right," he whispered over and over again.

She was taking deep breaths and nodding, but then would break down again.

"Can you tell me what's wrong?" Sirius asked quietly.

"How can I ... How can ... why am I so out of control...," Cordelia asked between sobs.

"It's everything we've been through. Delayed reaction, maybe?" Sirius guessed.

By this time she was shaking violently. Shiver after shiver wracked her body. He held her tighter.

As he held her, he realized that he had slept well, with no nightmares or flashbacks, despite being in the company of Dementors and seeing the incineration of Peregrine. He knew they would come later, but he was glad for being stable enough to help Cordelia. He wasn't sure what they'd do if both of them broke down.

He rubbed her back, and held her close, and finally the shivering and sobbing subsided. She relaxed, but snuggled closer.

"Better?" Sirius asked.

"I don't know. I don't want to be like that, but I just couldn't help it. It all came out and I couldn't stop," Cordelia responded in a hoarse whisper.

"I know."

"I was so angry last night while I was hunting. Remus has some scratches he doesn't deserve," she explained, as her voice got stronger.

"He heals pretty quick."

"I tore up two deer rather badly. I don't think you can even recover the carcasses for venison."

"I don't care for venison anyway," Sirius joked, as he wrinkled his nose.

"You've been pretending all these years?"

"I'll eat it, but I wouldn't make a point of hunting it."

She laughed weakly. "You don't have to. You have me now. You're lucky I don't bring you the eviscerated corpse and lay it on the front stoop, like the barn cat does."

"Well, you're a bit more sophisticated than a barn cat," he reassured her.

"Not last night, I wasn't. I wanted to kill everything that moved and I wanted to eat a good deal of it."

"So I don't need to make you steak and eggs for breakfast?" he asked, teasing her.

Cordelia groaned into his shoulder. "Oh, God, no."

They were silent for a bit, than Cordelia began to cry, more quietly this time.

Sirius waited for her to stop. "You feel drained, and all you can think of is the negatives in your life. You see the horror of killing things and transforming each month. You see Peregrine exploding into flames, every time you close your eyes. You hear screams. You see Draco casting, and the horror of what could have happened. You feel anger because you wanted to kill Peregrine. You see a blank steel wall in front of you and you don't have the energy to climb over it. You don't feel like you have the energy to climb out of bed, and worst of all, you feel cold. So cold deep down inside, you feel like you're going to freeze from the inside out."

She shook her head yes and cried some more.

"I know." He held her tight, and rubbed her back some more.

She took a deep breath. Then another, and another. "How did you survive? How could you? You lived like that for twelve years?"

Sirius shrugged. "I was angry for a lot of those years. It's better to be angry. They can't steal your anger. They steal all the positive energy, but they can't consume anger."

"I don't want to be angry, though."

"You don't have to be. They aren't here now, they can't hurt you," Sirius assured her.

"Yes, but just knowing what they are..."

"Was it different than what I described?"

Cordelia shuddered. "So much worse than I imagined. I don't know what to say. My opinion of your mental strength has tripled in the last 24 hours."

"I survived because I had to. I survived because I knew if I died, no one would be there for Harry, and I survived because I could settle into being a dog, and not try to remember the good or dwell on the bad."

Cordelia rolled onto her back and explained, "I wanted to try to concentrate on good things when they came so close, and I felt so awful, but that just made it worse. Whenever I thought about the kids, I could feel that thing come closer and pull more out of me. I felt like I'd lose all recollection of the kids."

"They're safe and nothing can take them away from you and no one can consume those memories."

They were silent again for a long while.

Cordelia finally sat up and drew her knees up to her chin. "I'm still cold. The whole time I was down there, with those creatures, I kept seeing the explosion, over and over, the one that hurt Colin. You were dead, and I was dying. Then there were two coffins and a huge church. People were crying and it was our funeral. Yours and mine. And my mum had the kids and they were crying and scared and I couldn't get to them because I was in this box and you were in a box too and you were cold and dead and ... I couldn't get beyond it. It kept happening over and over. Explosion, cold, funeral, crying, and again." She started to cry again.

"You've held me while I shivered before, let me hold you. It helps, trust me."

She moved over to be held again.

"Oh! I forgot. Chocolate. You need chocolate." Sirius leaned over and grabbed his wand from the bedside table. "Accio Honeydukes Special Dark Chocolate." Cordelia gave him an odd look. "I have to be specific. I know about all your little chocolate stashes."

She stopped crying and laughed just a little. "You've discovered my vice."

He nodded, gathered her into his arms and fed her two large pieces.

"This is so decadent, eating chocolate in bed before breakfast. Don't ever tell the kids that this is okay."

"Nope, this is just between us, and only under these extenuating circumstances."

She began to relax. They lay still for a long time, drifting in and out of sleep. Sometime, when the sun was high in the sky, and the sunshine was streaming in the windows, Sirius and Cordelia woke. They talked a bit, then kissed. Sirius took the bar of chocolate, cast a warming charm, and drizzled chocolate across her breast, then proceeded to lick it off in slow, sensuous strokes. Cordelia laughed, just a little. Not long ago she'd wondered if she would ever laugh again. Then he drizzled it down her stomach, and removed it in a similar fashion. Cordelia giggled. Sirius knew she was ticklish there.

He then drizzled it on her inner thigh. She sighed and stretched. "This feels marvelous, but are you sure you want to do that right now? I need a bath."

Sirius lifted his head from between her thighs. "You are delicious," he murmured, and went back to his work.

Cordelia broke off a piece of chocolate. When he was done with her thighs, she tempted him up to her, and fed it to him. He licked her fingers, and she trailed them down his torso.

"I promise you a bath after. You need this, trust me," Sirius whispered.

Sirius remembered all the times she made love to him, after a nightmare or flashback. He always felt better, and warmer faster, when she was done with him. Cordelia leaned back, nibbling on another piece of chocolate, as Sirius wiped the chocolate from his fingers and removed his pajamas. He pressed their bodies together, transferring his heat into her, and he was scorching at the moment. He loved her, respected her, and really, really liked her, in addition to being incredibly turned on by her. Her body was beautiful, and moved in such wondrous ways. She made love with an energy that helped him get through his life. Now it was his turn to help her through. He set out to give her everything.

As he caressed her he could feel the tension and cold loosening its grip on her body. Her skin began to get warm, and he could feel her relax, little by little. When he felt her breathe deeply, and saw her face take on a look of contentment, rather than sadness, he knew she was recovering. He rested on her briefly letting their skin touch from chest to toes. Then he began to kiss her. He tried to put how much he loved her into each kiss. He knew that that knowledge of his love would be the most effective factor to warm her back up and bring her a peaceful feeling and allow her to go on.

He kissed and lingered and traced, and kissed again. Finally, she responded. She was tentative at first, simply allowing him to kiss her, but not kissing back. Then her body took over and he felt a spark ignite in her.

She turned them over and began to caress him. Up and down, the length of his body, her hands worked, and skimmed, and played, and tickled. She knew how to play him, like a symphony, building to a crescendo. He turned them over again, drawing out their anticipated union, caressing and consuming her. She opened for him in blatant invitation, which he accepted and fulfilled.

Each movement brought more pleasure, and warmth, and finally for the first time, he thought he just might be through dwelling on his trauma. Not that he'd ever wish this experience on anyone, but the fact that she now understood a fraction of what he'd been through, helped him let go of it and realize it didn't have to be something to get through, but something to get beyond.

He knew a warmth that spread from their connection to his heart then out along his limbs and finally up to his brain. As he began to feel the warmth turn to heat, he saw a flicker of a smile on her lips, when they paused long enough.

"Warmer?" he whispered.

"Hot," she responded.

They moved to the rhythm of the ages, slowly, then faster, but not fast enough to rush into anything. The anticipation for the climax was as desired as climax itself, and they were enjoying the anticipation. He looked deeply into her eyes, as they moved and moved and moved again. She wrapped her legs about his hips and wouldn't break her gaze. He sped up his rhythm, and moved to go deeper. She finally closed her eyes and arched her head back. "Now," she said softly, and he pushed just a bit deeper inside her. She gripped him tightly as she climaxed in a thousand quivers. These were shivers of delight, however, as she relaxed completely. Her quivers set him off on his own explosion of intensity and heat. They relaxed and held each other tight, after kissing through the intensity of the completion.

He smiled back at her, finally relieved that she would be able to get beyond this experience as well. She'd never forget it, but she would feel safe and warm again, and they would go back to dealing with the lycanthropy, and the Muggles, and the wizards, and the kids, and the everyday problems that plagued the Deputy Chancellor and his wife.

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THE END

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It's been fun and I dearly appreciate all of you who have read this and A Sirius Affair and commented and all of you who have read and haven't commented. I enjoyed writing when it flowed, but it was torture when it didn't. I admit to some plot mistakes and some inadvisable story directions, but on the whole I'm relatively proud of this work, even if some of it is a bit pornographic.

I may still write a few short cookies. I have one brewing of how Draco gets the big house, but its only about half done. Sydney wants me to tie up the loose Aiden/Colin story line, so I may try my hand at showing them a year hence. But for now Sirius and Cordelia can go on about their lives and not worry about me detailing their sex lives anymore.

Anyway. Thanks for reading.